For once, I was invisible to Colette as well as most everyone else. This made my days lonelier, as I did not see Lucien during the day. I preoccupied myself with reading and writing more often to my father—something his previous letter said he was delighted in.
Before, I received Lucien’s letters in the afternoon, sometimes the mornings. Now, I received them always in the mornings. He returned to his manor and jumped in front of his secrétaire to write me before he slept a few more hours and then ran about with his usual daily errands. He hunted nearly four of those mornings with the King. Three of the evenings he spent going to certain fêtes, and making appearances on the arm of his grandmother.
I often felt terrible about this. He would run around on barely any sleep. Though, he always told me it was well worth it, and he was young enough that it didn’t matter. He could take it, take on the world. It never stopped me from worrying.
Most would think that Lucien and I only made love and barely had any time to do much talking. After we were spent, we often talked until we both fell asleep. Rather, when I fell asleep, as I was always the one to fall asleep first.
We spoke of his past, his grandmother and grandfather—who were like his parents to him—and his wish that he could at least meet his father, who was killed tragically in a carriage accident. His mother died shortly after he was born. A scornful lover finally tracked her down and disliked that she had married a Comte instead of him. He stabbed her in the heart and proceeded to kill himself. All the while, baby Lucien was in the crib across the room.
This story gave me nightmares, which made my weep uncontrollably. We decided we would never speak of it again, or at least, as little as possible. The past is a part of us, and there is no escaping it.
We also spoke of my mother, of the books my father often gave me, and how much I loved Paris. I truly did! I loved going out in the evenings. In that week, we barely did, because Colette was not in the best of moods with me.
I loved the gowns, which I did not often get to wear while living in the country, and I loved the large manors and sparkling carriages. Lucien, for some reason, thought this adorable of me. That I was like Toulouse when he saw a fly on the wall and tried to pounce at it—something that brought a smile to your face and sometimes a laugh from your throat at the sight of it. I suppose it would be silly to someone so immersed in it, who grew up in that type of surrounding.
As the end of the month approached, I knew my stay was only going to be for another month. Colette had hoped to postpone my visit to at least my birthday, on the fourth of August, in hopes that she could throw me a lavish, masquerade birthday party. Any extra days I could squeeze out, I would be most appreciative for, though I felt my welcome had been worn out. Especially with Colette being so cross with me.
It was a glorious Friday afternoon. I sat on the terrace with a hat pinned delicately to my head. I looked up to the sky as thick, black clouds started to move in. Every so often, they covered the sun, sending the whole estate into darkness.
I liked it when it rained, especially in the heat; it rained two days earlier, though it was not enough to break the heat. I was hoping for a large storm—one that would make the trees truly rattle and nearly uproot. As a result, a cool, soft breeze might blow over the Du Lorme estate, making a walk in the hedge maze a possibility, again. Making a meeting with Lucien out in the hedge maze a possibility, again.
Colette sauntered out, a cup of coffee in her hand as she leaned against the door. “What are you up to?”
I looked to her, smiling lightly. I was surprised she was speaking to me. “Oh, just watching the storm roll in. You?”
“Pondering,” she said, walking over to me and pulling the chair out beside me before sitting down on it.
“Pondering about what?” I asked. I almost didn’t care what she said. I was just glad she was speaking to me, again. Did I want an apology for her words? No…I just wanted to do as Colette—forget the whole thing had even happened.
“Hmmm…Lucien, the Comte. He seems to have lost interest in you, and you don’t seem very fazed by it.”
I had been preparing for such a question. I was actually rather surprised it hadn’t come up before. Lucien had not returned to our manor by the light of day for a week and a half. Of course, he was in my bedchamber with me every night, but Colette was none the wiser, or I assumed so by her questioning.
“Well,” I began, turning to her, “I suppose it just comes down to not having enough hours in the day. You know he visits court often. He has errands to run, things for his grandmother and such.”
She nodded, looking to her cup. “You are all right with that? Does he still write you?”
I nodded. “Yes, to both. He does still write me, and I am quite content with life…with having him in my life as is.”
She nodded. “I see.”
A male servant walked out on the terrace, bowing as he held out a silver tray with four letters on it, two addressed to Colette. She picked up the letters, handing me mine, and placing one of hers down before opening the other.
I looked down to my own letters, instantly recognizing one from my father and the other from Lucien, Monsieur B. I decided to open the one from my father, reading it over and sighing, suddenly crushed, but at the same time delighted, as the turn of events were now not so burdened.
“What?” Colette’s voice broke through my thoughts.
I looked up to her, folding the letter. “My father.”
“Is he all right?” she asked, sitting forward.
“Yes, he just has to extend his trip further.”
She smiled. “Oh! For how long?”
“He doesn’t know, yet. He says it could be another month, so he will miss my birthday. Something he is not happy about.”
“Well, I suppose not,” she said, looking down at her hands. She looked up excitedly, “This means I can throw you a ball for your birthday!”
I smiled, shaking my head. “You do not have to do anything of the sort—”
“Oh, Maddy! I want to! Come now. You cannot deny me this. It gives me something to look forward to!”
“I don’t know anyone around here except you, Rose, Lucien, and Armand. That makes for a sorry guest list, Colette.” I looked up as thunder rolled in the distance, the sky becoming darker and thicker. Yes! A big storm was on its way! Hopefully, it didn’t make the field too muddy, or else Lucien would not be able to trek through to me.
She folded her arms on the tabletop. “We can invite more people. Rose will know some people, fun people! Please! Oh, Maddy. Please!”
I groaned, looking at her from the corner of my eye before I nodded. “Oh, all right.”
She clasped her hands together in delight, giggling at the thought of it.
“I do not want Constanze or her little friends there. In fact, as it will be for my birthday, they are banned from the doors of this house.” I pointed at her, making sure my point got across.
She nodded. “Yes, whatever you say. Tonight, we can talk to Rose about it. She has invited us to a little gambling party, and we can meet some new friends.”
Oh, indeed we did. Though, half of which I did not know their names. Apparently, it was another quality of the aristocracy to give quick introductions, as they always assumed everyone knew who they were.
I stood in the middle of the room, a glass of spring water in my hands, looking about as Rose laughed, sitting on a man’s lap who was wearing a bright orange suit and dark brown bagwig. Colette was off in a corner with Armand, no doubt whispering sweet nothings, while I stood alone in the center of the room by a large playing board.
There were another eight guests—all men who were scattered about. Three were with Rose, and four gathered around a card table, playing lansquenet. I was alone, and for the first time, I really felt it. Especially while surrounded by so many men.
Where is my gentleman?
Lucien’s note earlier said he was going to an event. Which one, I had no idea, but I had wis
hed that I was able to have a word with Rose. She would have surely invited him and made sure that he was there with me.
I looked up as thunder rolled over the roof, lightening flashing behind the heavy drapes. The rain pelted against the building and the streets. The storm finally rolled in during the late afternoon. The trees rattled, and lightning stretched menacingly across the sky. I was actually quite surprised that the Marquise didn’t put up a fuss over us leaving for the evening. Of course, I half expected her to send a note later in the evening, telling us to take up rooms with Rose. I hoped with everything in me that did not happen.
How would I see Lucien?
The evening hadn’t started lonely. I played Faro and actually won a game with the gentlemen who were still at the card table, and Rose was there as well. I even held a pleasant conversation with Armand about the hopeful turn of the weather after such a storm.
Now, there I was. Standing in the middle of the room, and watching everyone else have a good time. I suddenly noticed I was not so alone. An older man, perhaps in his thirties, stood beside me. He looked me over, and had apparently wandered over during my musings.
He wore a light blue justaucorps, golden breeches, and a matching waistcoat. His face was heart-shaped, his eyes a clear blue, and his cheeks slightly full. He had a dark brown powdered bagwig on his head and a glass of some sort of brown liquor in a brandy glass in his left hand.
By looking at him, he was not unfortunate looking, but he was probably more attractive in his youth. His body wasn’t fat, but he wasn’t incredibly thin—not as he probably used to be—and his clear, blue eyes were constantly on me!
I looked down to my light pink silk gown, darker magenta leaves scattered all over it, and white dandelion puffs. Much of it reminded me of fall, but so like summer that I adored it. I wondered if there was something on me, but I noticed nothing. The solid, light pink petticoat wasn’t wrinkled, the frothy white lace on the sleeves was in order, as was the golden designs on the stomacher.
I took to patting my hair and looking about, until I looked back to him, “I’m sorry…Is there something wrong, Monsieur?”
He looked me over, from head to toe, shaking his head. “No. No, Mademoiselle. Not at all.”
“Then…why do you stare?” I asked, my brow furrowing.
“How can I not?” he asked, standing close to me. He did not tower over me like Lucien, though he was still quite taller than I was. “Look at you, how radiant. I am surprised not all eyes are upon you.”
I swallowed hard, my face flushing scarlet. “Um, thank you. I—”
“No. No thanks required. It should be I who is thankful, such a beautiful woman before me. An angel obviously bestowed here by God. It is I who should be thankful.” He bowed to me, his hand touching my skirt and to my waist on his way up. “It would be a shame for such a body to not be properly worshipped.”
My mouth fell agape, and I stepped back from him. “I am sorry, Monsieur, but excuse me!”
“Oh, come now.” He almost laughed, holding out his glass of liquor. “You are friends with not only our hostess, the Duchesse, but you are also friends with the Marquis’s daughter, and if what I have heard about her is true, I would think it also capable of you.” He leaned toward me, holding my waist tightly, and looking down toward my breasts. “Oh, would it not be doubly as delicious to have you on all fours while I—”
“I will have you take your hands off me!” I pushed him away from me. My face burned not only from embarrassment, but also because of how angered I was! I covered my chest with my hand and turned away from him.
“Oh, come now. Don’t be coy!”
He tried to pull at my waist, again. Though, this time I was able to push him hard enough and turn away, walking over toward Colette and Armand in their hushed corner. As I approached, Colette looked up at me, bleary-eyed from Armand and his seductions, but she perked up, seeing that I was so distraught.
“Maddy, what’s wrong?”
I looked back toward the odious man, his glares biting into me from across the room as he stood, draining all the golden liquid from his glass. He turned toward the group sitting at the table, playing lansquenet, and joined them.
I shook my head. “Nothing. I just…I am distracted, that’s all. A bit lonely over in my corner.”
Armand looked behind me, examining the area and not seeing anything. “Ah! Well, then. We will keep you company—”
“Armand!” Rose called from across the room. “Armand, tell us about your travels, when you were in Rome! Come, now.” She turned to the men around her. “It is a riot, this story. You must hear it!”
Armand cocked his head but nodded, grabbing Colette’s hand and leading her over toward Rose and her little group, who laughed at some joke I did not hear.
I stood alone again, looking around for the man who could possibly harass me once more, when I felt a pair of strong hands on my hips, pulling me into the next empty room. Lucien’s dark blue eyes looked into my own.
“Lucien!” I gasped. I looked around the room for a pair of eyes. Everything in me burst for joy that it was his hands and not someone else’s.
He smiled wickedly, holding me tightly as he leaned into me and kissed me passionately.
I pressed at his shoulders, pushing him away from me, “Are you mad? We could get caught!”
“What else would you have me do? I haven’t seen you all day.” His eyes filled with love, not lust, but he still had that playful smirk on his face.
I frowned, though it quickly melted into a smile as he leaned into me, again. His lips pressed against mine slowly, driving me wild! I never felt safer. Every worry within me whisked away with a touch of his lips, his arms around me. If only we could run away, we would never have to leave each other’s arms.
His bottom lip slowly caressed mine as a laugh barreled out of the parlor. My mind slipped to an eerie recognition of the boorish man who made the rude comments to me. I pulled away reluctantly from Lucien’s lips. “Tell me. Do you know who the older man in there is?”
He panted lightly, looking past the open doorway inside, surveying them all. “Probably. Which one?”
I leaned over on his right arm, craning my neck to look over each of the men until my eyes fell on the odious man who had made those comments. “There, the one in the powdered wig.”
“They are all wearing powdered wigs, my love. More specifics.”
“The light blue justaucorps and gold breeches.” My mouth curled in disgust.
“Ah, that is the Comte Cognet. He is older. I believe five years my senior, but I have seen him at court. Why?”
His eyes went from the man to me, filled slightly with concern.
I wanted to tell him every word that the Comte had said but…the words died on my lips. I could only think of how angry it would make Lucien and how much I wanted him to be happy, playful, even sarcastic, but not angry.
I shook my head. “Nothing. I was just wondering, because he was not familiar to me.”
“Ah,” Lucien nodded as both of us righted ourselves, nicely shielded by the wall and out of sight. He smiled warmly, looking my face over. “I do not think there are words for how much I have missed you, today.”
I smiled back at him, my heart skipping. “I think you should try to articulate it.”
“Ah, Mademoiselle. If only I could. I wish I could sing sonnets to you, whisk you away, and…”
He stared at me, not finishing his sentence.
What were those next words going to be? I didn’t question him; I simply let my lips press against his—nice and slow—just as if I wanted to breathe him in. Which I did, with everything in me.
All the thoughts of the odious Comte in the opposite room were now gone.
What am I worried about, anyway? He is nearly ten years my senior. I am past the usual age to wed, and even then, I am but a commoner. He surely did not expect me to give myself freely to him, did he?
“I thought you were going to an event t
his evening, a fête of some sort?” I asked when our lips finally parted.
He smiled devilishly. “I am at said event, my love.”
My brow furrowed as I frowned. “Why did you not say it was Rose’s event?”
“I wanted to surprise you.” He beamed. “Rose specifically invited me to keep you company. She even said that if we wished, she could think of a distraction of some sort, and we could sneak off to one of the bedchambers. She also mentioned that if the weather is too rough, she is going to make sure that you and Colette stay the night.” He leaned down and kissed my neck, making my whole body shake.
Why is it that our minds always flutter off to worries and insecurities?
“Wouldn’t Colette room with me?”
He smiled slyly, again. “She is going to place you in the furthest bedchamber, her own bedchamber. She will sleep in the one in between but before the next, which is where Colette will be.”
I eyed him, pouting lightly. “How long have you two had this planned?”
“All of half an hour, my love. This is all Rose’s doing.” He smiled. “I only requested that she not inform you that I was going to be here, so that I could surprise you. She then informed me that she may not let you two venture so far home with the weather so rough, which I agree with.”
I ran my hands over his neck and up into his hair. His hips pressed into mine as his he let out a throaty groan. He leaned down and kissed my chest, and the large dip from my neckline being, for once, not a hindrance or something to be ashamed of. He kissed up my chest to my neck, concentrating all his kisses there while I writhed under him, trying my best to keep as quiet as I possibly could. There were over ten people in the next room!
He pulled away from me, and the whole room spun in a lusty cloud. The storm outside raged and pounded against the building, just as the pounding in my thighs. A flash of lightning felt like the flash of heat running through me from his touch.
“I shall await you in the bedchamber. I do not want anyone to know I am here.” He quickly kissed me, pulling away from me to walk across the room toward the line of three bedchambers, stopping as I wouldn’t let go of him. His lips eagerly pressed against mine before he tried to break away once again, but I wouldn’t let go of him. He finally was able to break from me, turning and disappearing into the hall beside the first bedchamber and making his way, so that he could hide in the third.
Affaire de Coeur Page 21