She tied a black ribbon at the base of my neck and sprayed my perfume on me before she curtsied, and I took my leave.
I nearly bounced down the steps, the bath seeming to rejuvenate my spirits. I was walking toward the dining room when a green-clad figure pushed me into the music room, slammed the door shut, and quickly locked it.
I looked up to see Constanze before me, crossing her arms. “What are you doing?”
“A little birdie told me you are having a ball the first week of August and, lo and behold, I find myself without an invitation.” She scowled, her whole face turning red.
“What reason do I have to invite you to my birthday fête?” I asked, shocked and in utter disbelief. How on Earth did you even hear of it, you horrible little leech?
“It is proper etiquette. I get invited to every party!”
“Well, this will be a painful first for you,” I said as I tried to walk by her.
“You are the one who is going to be in a world of pain.” She pushed me back, and I fell to the sofa. She stood before me, her hands above her panniers. “I can guarantee your downfall in society if you overstep your bounds.”
I sat up, calming myself, though I was furious. “Ah. You forget, Constanze. I am not a part of your society. You can huff all you like. I am invisible. Immune, if you will.”
“That’s what you think.” She crossed her arms again, and a smile whipped across her lips. “What of your little secret? What if it were to get out?”
I rolled my eyes, sighing. “What secret is that?”
“You and the Comte. I know it is you, Madeleine.” She glared to me.
I shook my head. “You would be wrong. What happened to you thinking I was too unkempt to hold a Comte’s affection? The Comte, as I understand it? Doesn’t Yolande want to get her claws into him?”
“She will. You will be yesterday’s news,” she snapped.
“I wish her well on that endeavor,” I said as I stood up, “as I have no affiliation with the Comte other than being very good friends. If you want, I could put in a good word with Lucien for Yolande. Perhaps he will heed my advice.”
She scowled at me again, shaking her head. “You will come hurtling down, Madeleine. There will be no one to catch you. Not Colette, not anyone. You will fall and break into thousands of pieces. You will certainly be found wanting, and I will be there to relish in the moment.”
“What of you, Constanze? What of your downfall? Is it not common sense that what goes up must come down? You have reached your heights, and you will fall as well. You will quickly be found wanting.” With that, I turned from her and walked over to the door, unlocking it before turning back. “Oh, and as it stands, you are still uninvited to my birthday fête. My guest list has reached capacity.”
I turned from her and gracefully left the room, gliding my way back toward the empty salon. How did she get in if Colette was not entertaining her?
I walked toward the table, sitting down as the sudden ache in my back returned. My entirely calm mood was now ruined. My skin was hot and flushed, my hands were shaking, and I was quite sure that even though I was extremely hungry, I was also feeling rather sick. I turned as a female servant walked into the room, setting down a fresh teapot and pouring me a cup.
“Do you know where Mademoiselle Du Lorme is by chance?” I asked, pulling a croissant onto my little, porcelain plate.
She nodded. “She is in her bedchamber. She wished to take breakfast in bed.”
“Was she aware that the Vicomtesse was here?”
She shook her head. “I am not sure, Mademoiselle, but I believe not.”
I licked my lips nervously as I looked out at the overcast day and out on the terrace. “Has the Vicomtesse left?”
She nodded. “She took her leave as soon as she delivered her message to you.”
I looked up at the maid and nodded, dismissing her as I started to pick at my plate. What was Constanze’s plan? To threaten me into an invitation to my own party?
I was surprised she didn’t go straight to Colette, or perhaps she had. Colette promised me that Constanze, Yolande, and Christine would not be getting an invite to the soiree. I could only hope that she kept her promise and defended my decision.
My lower back continued to bother me, making me restless, and my legs bounced around under my gown. I stood up, made my way out onto the terrace, and down the stone steps. I walked along the path toward the hedge maze. The thought of sitting on one of the stone benches was comforting. Constanze would be unable to ambush me, again.
As I walked into the entrance of the maze, I felt the familiar feeling of someone grabbing hold of me, and turned to see Lucien’s smiling face.
I hit his shoulder. “Lucien! Don’t do that!”
“I scared you.” He laughed, kissing my cheek.
“What are you doing here?” I looked around, hoping that no one followed me.
He shrugged. “I just thought it would be fun to surprise you. Why are you so anxious?”
“I had a run-in with Constanze,” I said, holding my hand over my heart and trying to calm it.
“Oh? Was she visiting upon Colette?”
He pointed toward the direction of the center of the maze, leading me away from the entrance.
I shook my head. “No, she had her own agenda. She ambushed me and locked me in the music room. She confronted me about not inviting her to my birthday fête.”
“Oh, really?” He stopped, crossing his arms. “What gives her the right to bombard you as such?”
“I don’t know. I don’t want to know. I just want her to go away. I was scared that she was following me. Colette doesn’t even know that she was here at the house. Lucien, she has her suspicions about us. She knows there is something going on.”
He gently took my hand and led me through the maze and to the first stone bench that came into our sight, motioning for me to sit down. “Now, hold on. How could she know?”
“Constanze has eyes and ears everywhere,” I said as I sat down, folding my hands in my lap. “It would not surprise me if she paid someone in the house to spy on me.”
He sat down beside me, turning to me. “No one has come forward. Do you not think that if she had hired someone in the house for such a job, that person would have seized the moment and tried to blackmail us into giving them more money?”
I thought about it, pursing my lips together as I nodded. “I suppose that would be true.”
“All she has are assumptions.” He took my right hand and pulled it to his lap, holding onto it.
“Assumptions are dangerous, Lucien,” I pointed out, looking around.
He shook his head. His hand came up and rested on my cheek, “There is no need to worry about anything. If she was really sure about her assumptions she would spread about rumors and we would be having another discussion right now, wouldn’t we?”
I nodded, looking down at my hand in his and knowing it was true. I was doing what Colette said I always did, assuming—just as Constanze was. Working myself up into a frenzy over something that was not even common knowledge was Constanze’s way of trying to ruffle my feathers. “You are right.”
“Just think about it, my love. In two short weeks, we will be able to gallivant around, parading our love in front of everyone.” He smiled. “Just look forward to that, and don’t worry about Constanze.”
I felt a flutter of excitement and anticipation. I smiled along with him as I thought about doing as regular couples do. No more sneaking around! It was so close.
“Do you know why Constanze is working herself up like this?”
I looked at him, shaking my head. “I really do not see a reason for it.”
“Because,” he said, smiling as he stroking my jaw with his index finger. He sat back, his broad shoulders straight. “She knows that if her assumptions are true, you would have a great amount of power.”
My brow furrowed. “Power? How so?”
“As my lady, you will have flocks of courtier
s running about and inviting you to parties, throwing soirees for you, and wanting you to be their friend. Constanze will lose all power that she once had. She will be nothing but a meager, little Vicomtesse. They will be able to snub her and hand her invitation off to you.” He emphasized his statement by pointing at my shoulder.
“Why would they want to be my friend?” I asked, pointing to myself.
He shrugged. “Well, obviously, they will assume that if you are my lady, the title of Comtesse will follow soon after. The courtiers will want invites to your parties. Especially once I take you to Versailles.”
My whole body heaved. “Versailles?”
He nodded. “Of course. The King himself will want to give us his blessing. I would assume the Dauphine will also invite you to some of her little events, once they return from Compiégne, that is. She is a lovely, little girl. I think you will like her. Once you are presented at Court, that is.”
The fear of Court took away all my breath from my chest. Thinking about walking through the halls of Versailles made my whole body go numb.
“Is…that not something you would enjoy?” he asked, his voice low and unsure.
I looked at him and shook my head before I quickly noded. “I…I just never thought I would visit upon Versailles, never mind meet the King or the Dauphine. I suppose it is just a shock. Once we are forthcoming about our relationship, so much will be expected of me.”
“You think it is too much?” He looked down at our hands, fiddling with my fingers.
“Well, of course I do right now. You just told me about it.” I scooted toward him, raising his chin and looking into his eyes. “I just need to take some time to get used to it. It is a good thing you told me, now. I can prepare myself. I suppose I knew in the back of my mind that it would all be part and parcel. I just never really gave any thought to it.”
“It is too much,” he said, his eyes staying on mine.
I smiled, shaking my head. “No, it isn’t. I will get used to it, won’t I? You will be there with me, won’t you?”
He nodded. “Of course.”
“Well, there you are.” I rubbed his chin before kissing his cheek and resting my head on his shoulder. “The only thing that is too much right now is Constanze and her actions.”
He wrapped his arms around me, holding onto me tightly. “I know…but, a fortnight. That is all we have to wait.”
Chapter Twenty-Five
I awoke with a pain throughout my hips and down my thighs as I turned over in bed. The heat in the room made my forehead gather sweat, and my legs kicked at the linens.
I sat up, pulled the drapes back, and threw my legs over the side of the bed. Turning toward the little table, I lifted the pitcher up and poured myself a glass of water. I took a sip of the still water, which was surprising cool as it slipped down my throat, making me feel cool all over.
I stood up slowly from the bed, walked to the center of the room, and looked up at my looking glass on my vanity. I stopped as I saw a red stain on the front of my nightgown. My eyes grew wide with horror. I looked down at it, pulled the gown up, and examining it. I then turned toward the bed and saw the linens also stained with it, though not as much as my nightgown. I faced the looking glass again and turned around, looking over my shoulder. I saw that the back was stained just as much.
My cycle was upon me. I turned toward my bed and pulled on the rope to summon Brielle. She walked in moments later, stopping as she saw the stain on my nightgown. She nodded and smiled, found a few other maids to assist her, and readied a bath for me. She helped me into it, took my nightgown away, and changed my linens.
I had not had my cycle while visiting the Du Lorme home, yet. I was surprised to say the least, but my cycle was always irregular. It would strike at the worst possible time and sometimes last a full week.
After I had bathed, Brielle helped me with my body linens and a fresh nightgown. I was ushered back to bed, Brielle pulling the top linen over me. Pillows supported my back as Colette walked into the room, dressed for the day in a green and pink striped gown.
“I hear that you have had a visit from Mother Nature.” She leaned against the bottom post of my bed, almost amused.
I nodded. “Of course. Better now than next week. That would put our party plans off.”
She smiled. “Well, at least we have that. How are you feeling?”
I felt a pain in my lower abdomen and another cramp as I shifted my position. “I’m fine. Just a little uncomfortable.”
“Well,” she walked toward me, sitting down beside me, “I shall have breakfast brought up, and I will keep you company. Some macarons?”
I smiled, tears almost coming to my eyes as I nodded and looked down at the coverlet. I looked up as she stood. “Oh, could you bring your little lap secrétaire? I wish to write to…my father. Get it out while the courier is still in the house.”
She nodded, looking at one of the maids who curtsied and ran out of the room.
Maids returned with a plate of croissants, some cheese, fresh milk from the dairy, and a selection of fruit. Colette bustled back in. A comfortable armchair was brought in for her and placed beside the bed. She carried a little plate in her hands with pink, blue, and yellow macarons. We both ate some, laughing as she playfully told me I was bedridden and confined to my bed until the flow ceased—the Marquise insisted.
“What of you? Won’t you be lonely? Unless you plan to keep me company in here.” I bit into a pink macaron, the sweetness of it comforting me.
She nodded, biting into a blue one. “I will, if you wish it. Perhaps I haven’t really been spending a lot of time with you these days, and it is something I wish to rectify.”
“You have been busy with Étienne,” I said, eyeing her as I took a sip of the smooth, fresh milk.
She sighed. “Yes, him.”
“Have you heard from Armand? I miss him around here.”
She looked to me, shaking her head, almost taken aback from the question. “No, I haven’t. Good riddance.”
I frowned picking at the croissant on my plate.
“You know. You look rather pretty with your hair like that.” She pointed at my loose tresses, the curls torn apart into glossy waves.
I smiled lightly. “Thank you.”
She stayed with me until her father wished to speak to her, taking her leave. I asked one of the chambermaids to fetch me the little lap secrétaire, some fresh parchment, and a quill.
I sat up straight, dipped the nib into the ink, and shook it carefully before I started to scratch away at the page, thinking of how I could word my situation to Lucien.
Monday, 23 of July, 1770
Monsieur,
I regret to inform you that I am not well, today. There is no need to worry. It is just a normal, natural occurrence. Something that will cease in a few days.
I do not know if you still wish to make your usual visit, as I will be unable to entertain as I usually do and unable to meet you in our usual way.
Forever yours,
Mademoiselle B.
I folded the letter up and handed it to Brielle, who patiently waited beside the bed, her hands folded before her.
“Thank you, really. I hate to be a bother—”
“No bother at all, Mademoiselle.” She shook her head. “It is my privilege to serve you in any way.”
I sighed, nodding as she curtsied, turned, and quickly made her way out. Toulouse pranced into the room and hopped up onto the bed and on top of me.
I filled the day out with reading. Toulouse kept me company, and Colette stopped in and chatted with me while we had lunch. We played cards until I decided I was going to nap, taking advantage of sitting out the heat of the day in my bed. By the time I awoke, Brielle brought my supper to me. Colette joined me in my bedchamber, playing cards again afterward.
“Is it all right if I make away to an event at Rose’s?” she asked, standing from the armchair.
I nodded, looking over to the clock and seeing it c
lose to nine. “Is it not late though to be making the trek to town? It will be ten by the time you get there.”
She nodded. “I am going to stay until the wee hours. Is it all right?”
I nodded, again. “Yes, of course.”
She smiled, kissing me on the cheek before she turned and dashed out of the room. A maid rushed by the doorway as she followed Colette to help her dress.
I sighed as I brought my book up. I opened it and began reading. Brielle let me know that she would come to me periodically to help with my body linens, as she had during the day.
I read until I heard a knock on the door. I looked toward it, and my brow furrowed. “Yes?”
The door opened, and Lucien dashed in, closing it behind him.
“Lucien.” I sat up straight.
“Are you all right? I got your note.” He ran over to me, sitting beside me on the bed and grabbing my hand.
I nodded. “Yes, I am fine. I can walk around and do as I please. Really, this is the Marquise’s request. I have never seen people fuss over such a natural thing as being female.” I rolled my eyes before I put my hand on his face, stroking his cheek. “How was your day?”
“Worrisome.” He smiled, “Thankfully, I am here, now. No need to worry, right?”
I nodded, sitting forward. “Exactly.”
He looked back toward the boudoir. “Is Colette going to frequent you this evening?”
“No.” I shook my head. “She is at an event and plans to be out until the wee hours. Brielle may, just to help me with my body linens.”
“Ah,” he said as his eyes widened. “The wonders of being female.”
He stood, took off his dark green, informal justaucorps, and went to my wardrobe, where he put all his things safely away.
I sighed, turned, and crossed my legs under my nightgown, watching him. “Well, seems we will be nothing but bedfellows, tonight.”
He turned to me, loosening his cravat. “Are we not every night?”
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