Affaire de Coeur

by Stephanie O’Hanlon

  I imagined such a sight if we were married—my husband getting ready to join me in our bed. “We are usually lovers. Sleep is seldom a subject we entertain.” I smiled at him.

  He stood before me, wearing only his breeches and stockings. His clean chest gleamed in the light as he pulled his bow from his hair, removed the bag from it, and his hair fell loose around him.

  “Can we not still be lovers while also being bedfellows? I would think that the act of making love doesn’t necessarily make us lovers. We can still find love in other forms, can we not? In each other’s arms, for instance?”

  He walked over to me, kissed me on the forehead, and motioned for me to scoot over. I did so, just as he pulled the light linens back. He slipped in beside me and laid back on the pillows, opening his arms for me to lie into them. I did so, happily. I rested my head on his chest as his arms wrapped around me, holding me tightly.

  “You know,” he started, “this is actually a very good thing for us. It means we have done well to protect ourselves and our relationship.”

  “Our little secret?” I smiled.

  He nodded. “Yes.”

  “You know,” I sat up, looking at him. “Rose spoke about that. Being obvious and such.”

  “And?”

  I shook my head. “I just find it interesting that you both were thinking of such things.”

  “Hmm., It is something that is forefront in my mind. I don’t want anything compromised, including our plans.” He kissed the top of my head as I leaned forward. Lying against him, I closed my eyes.

  “I like this,” I said slowly, extremely comfortable.

  “What’s that, my love?” he asked softly.

  “Just laying here with you, and not worrying about Colette storming in.” I turned my face into his chest, his skin brushing against my nose and cheek.

  “Well, just think about it when we will be at my manor.” He stroked my hair and down my arm.

  “Hmmm,” I nodded as I started to drift off into sleep.

  “Oh, my God!”

  Lucien and I sat up. I leapt to my feet, motioning for Brielle to quiet down. Her poor shocked, stuttering form backed up and covered her eyes with her hand. “Please! Brielle!”

  She lowered her voice, her hand to her chest. “I’m-I’m sorry, Mademoiselle. I was just going to inquire to your body linens.” She kept her eyes toward the wardrobe, her hand on her chest.

  “I…please, Brielle. I just…Please, do not tell anyone!”

  She looked to Lucien, who sat on the bed. His knee was propped up and his arm resting on it, seemingly not daring to move. “Mademoiselle, I…I have known for some time about the Monsieur.”

  My whole body froze. “What?”

  “I…I saw him on the grounds almost a fortnight ago. Also, while I was helping you with your couchér, I noticed he was behind the drapes of your bed, and his breeches were on the floor.” She looked down in shame, pointing to the floor.

  “Oh…” I said, trailing off. “But…why did you not tell anyone?”

  She shook her head. “It is not my place, Mademoiselle.”

  “One would think it would indeed be your place,” Lucien said, both of us turning to him sitting on the edge of the bed. “A strange man in the Mademoiselle’s bed every night.”

  “No. Oh, no,” she said, looking at me. “You have been nothing but kind to me, Mademoiselle. Much kinder than…I would have expected. I thought it was not my place to out you and get you in trouble. Besides, I have seen how happy you are with the Monsieur, when he visits upon you during the day and from your notes. I assumed you were more than just common friends.”

  I looked to my hands. “Oh.”

  Brielle leaned forward a bit to me, her voice low. “May I help you with your body linens, Mademoiselle?”

  I nodded, and she led me around to the changing screen, helping me. Then, as she straightened out my nightgown and turned, I said quite low, “Thank you.”

  She smiled lightly, curtsied, turned, and dashed out.

  I returned to the bed, taking a deep breath and letting it out harshly. “I think my heart had a start that will keep it beating this fast well into the night.”

  Lucien nodded, running his hands through his hair. He pushed it out of his face and off his shoulders. “I quite agree. At least you know you can trust her.”

  I looked down at my hands, my jaw tensing. “What if other people have seen you? Seen us?”

  He shook his head. “I don’t know. I would assume not. Perhaps you should ask Brielle in the morning.”

  I nodded, smearing my lips together as I thought.

  He frowned, pulling the linens back, and opening his arms. “Come back to bed, please?”

  I looked to him, nodding as I walked forward. I got back into the bed and pulled the linens back over us. The breeze from outside was nice and cool. I turned to him as he brushed my hair off my shoulder, “How is Armand? Have you spoken to him?”

  He nodded. “I have, but I believe the word ‘briefly’ sums it up. He is not himself, quite angry. When I tried to question him on his sudden exit as the Marquis’s employee, he told me to leave it alone. With further prying, I was able to find out that he is unsettled by the rumors floating around Colette.”

  “Well, who wouldn’t be?” I said, looking toward the door. “I wonder if she is home, yet.”

  He pulled me into him, kissing my cheek. “Does it matter? You should get some sleep.”

  I nodded, resting my head on his shoulder as I closed my eyes and found myself easily falling into slumber.

  A few hours later, I felt Brielle shaking my shoulder. My eyes fluttered open as I sat up, looking to see Lucien beside me still before I looked back to her.

  “How are your body linens, Mademoiselle?” she whispered.

  I shook my head. “I don’t know. We should probably tend to them, though.”

  She nodded, helping me out of bed and taking me behind the changing screen. She tended to my needs before straightening out my nightgown, just as before.

  I hesitated for a moment. “Does anyone else know? Has anyone else seen Lucien coming up here?”

  She shook her head, “No one else is aware. I noticed, because I am to tend to you. Just as I know nothing of Mademoiselle Du Lorme and her business. Her own maids are the ones who do.”

  “Brielle, what did you do in the household before I came to visit?” I asked, noticing for the first time I was taller than her, and older—how old was Brielle? Sixteen, seventeen?

  “I worked in the dairy and kitchen, Mademoiselle. I was taken up to the household and trained to be Mademoiselle Du Lorme’s new chambermaid, but had been told I was to tend to you, prepare that way.”

  “Oh. I cannot thank you enough for how good you have been to me and for keeping my secret. You do not know how much it means to me.”

  She smiled lightly, curtseying to me. “It is my pleasure, Mademoiselle. Let me help you back to bed.”

  The whole time, Lucien did not rouse from his slumber. His masculine figure in my bed on his stomach, and the linens strewn over him as he grasped hold of a pillow. She curtsied before me, turning and taking her leave with the dirty linens, which she would wash and perhaps reuse later in the day.

  I looked over at the clock. The time was just past four. My thoughts assumed that Colette was in her bed, sleeping off whatever champagne she had enjoyed. While I wasn’t present, Rose would indulge and probably drink just as much as Colette. Both of them likely giggling at the money they lost or gained in their games. Now that Armand was no longer around, Colette did not care if Rose was associated with him. In fact, as long as Armand’s name was not brought up, she was completely happy…in the best of moods.

  I couldn’t get back to sleep. The combination of such a start earlier and napping in the day threw off my sleep. I pulled up my legs under the linen as I watched the sun slowly begin to rise. The warm, orange glow filled the room. I looked as Lucien turned toward me, on his stomach once again
with his face pressed into the pillow. I smiled as his eyes opened, looking up to me tiredly.

  “Is it that time?” he asked, his eyes closing, again.

  I nodded. “Yes, time for you to wake and dress and make to your own manor.”

  He sighed. Opening his eyes again, he sat up and looked at me. “How long have you been awake?”

  “Just a little while. Does it matter? I am always awake when you rise.” I pushed his hair off his shoulder, looking toward the clock.

  He nodded. “That is true. At least I will not have to sleep during the day before I come here. I seem to have caught up on some sleep, since I didn’t have you tiring me out.” He smiled.

  I frowned. “I do like this, but I also like our other nocturnal activities as well.”

  He leaned into me, kissing me softly, and making my whole body shake. It felt like it had been days since Lucien had kissed me like that. My whole body wanted to crawl on top of him, but I turned from him, shaking my head.

  “We can’t.”

  He nodded. “I know.”

  I watched as he turned, got out of the bed, and stretched as the rising sun glowed off his chest and made his hair set alight. He then walked over to the wardrobe, got his clothes out, and began to dress.

  I pulled my legs over the bed, stopping as he shook his head. “No, no. You stay in bed.”

  My face twisted in confusion. “I’m fine, Lucien. I do not—”

  “You do not,” he walked toward me, pulling his boots on, “but you will. Just rest, you deserve that much. Let them pamper you for a bit. Meals in bed, long baths, napping. Do as you would if you were the Dauphine, herself.”

  I smiled lightly. His lips pressed against my forehead before he turned and took his waistcoat, pulling it on.

  “I would stay in bed all day if you were here with me.”

  He turned as he grabbed his justaucorps, putting it on. The collar sat stiffly and encased his neck, and his cravat stuck out of the opening. “I wish I could stay with you in bed. Just wait another—”

  “I know, I know.” I raised my chin, looking up to the ceiling.

  He walked over to me, sitting down beside me. “I know you know. I just like reminding you, because life will be easier in the long run. It will not be easy at first. You will certainly need your strength for it, but if I want to see you, I just simply need to come to you. I will be able to hold you, kiss you, look at you the way I want to. I cannot wait for that moment when we aren’t burdened with such a secret.”

  I stroked his cheek and down his neck to his justaucorps, smoothing it out. All the little, jeweled embellishments ran against my fingers and palm.

  “Good night, Madeleine,” he cooed to me, his voice simmering around that tone that was almost unbearable, impossible to resist.

  “Good night,” I said, leaning forward and kissing him. I took a few moments to enjoy him before he was off for the day, and I was confined to my bed.

  Chapter Twenty-Six

  By Wednesday, I was nearly going mad—being waited on and having people come into my room and visit upon me, instead of enjoying the nice weather outside. Who knew how long the nice, cool breeze would last? That solid, light blue sky, not a cloud in sight. How long until that was gone, and it was covered in clouds, the heat rising and making life miserable? It was the last week of July; August would bring forth the hotter, more extreme temperatures.

  I ate my breakfast and asked Brielle if she could at least dress me in a gown, so I could sit in the boudoir or the parlor. It was something she finally agreed to when I said I would go mad, otherwise. I felt like I won a small battle. The rosebud-patterned white silk gown made me smile, though my hair was not dressed or pinned up. I was not expected to leave the second floor.

  I sat in the boudoir, as I listened closely. None of the servants were around, and Colette was probably in the parlor, entertaining Constanze and her little friends. I rolled my eyes at the thought of Constanze, wondering what she was going on about and if she was going to mention how she had bombarded me in the music room. I hadn’t mentioned it to anyone other than Lucien, and I hadn’t planned to tell Colette or anyone else. Well, perhaps Rose, but as I heard, she was off with the Russian or Italian that she was romancing—a little getaway in the country.

  I sat up on the chaise longue, placing my book down on the little table. I got up and tiptoed my way back into my bedchamber, looking to see if anyone was still tending to anything. Seeing no one, I ran over to the doorway and looked out into the hall, listening intently as Colette’s laugh filled the whole second floor from the open door of the parlor. No one was in the hallway, so I ran out, heading toward the staircase and almost laughing as my hair bounced against me. I took no chances—I didn’t slow at all as I ran into the empty dining room and salon, out onto the stone terrace, and down the steps.

  I felt the cool breeze push past me. The sunlight was hard on my eyes, but still comforting as I ran toward the hedge maze. I kept my eyes over my shoulder until my body stopped as it collided into another. I looked up to see Cleante standing before me, his face still clean-shaven and his eyes pressed upon me, stunned to see me.

  “Oh! I’m sorry, Mademoiselle,” he said nervously.

  “No, no. It was my fault. I was not looking where I was going. How careless of me. I am actually not supposed to be up and about. I hope you will keep my secret.”

  He nodded, looking me over, and paying particular attention to my free-flowing tresses, “Is the Mademoiselle not well?”

  I looked behind me, my hand resting on my bodice before I turned back to him. “Hmmm? Oh, I’m fine. Really. Everyone is just fussing. I am obviously all right, as I can run into you.”

  He smiled, not quite laughing, and looked down at his dirty boots.

  “Is the construction going well?” I asked, walking around him.

  “Yes.” He looked back toward the path, pointing. “I was just on my way to give an inspection, before the Marquis does later on this afternoon. Were you on your way somewhere?”

  My eyes widened as I shook my head. “No, no. Just escaping, and hoping to enjoy a little bit of the tame weather. The project will be complete by next Saturday?”

  He nodded, “Yes, even a day early, as I said before.”

  I nodded. “Right, well.” I looked back to the manor. Brielle walked out on the terrace, finally spotting me.

  Cleante looked over his shoulder, smiling. “I am sorry. It seems I have distracted you and let you get found.”

  “I knew it was useless to hide.”

  “Ummm…before your maid comes to fetch you, I was wondering, Madeleine. If you…the Comte. I have heard he has a lady, and I was wondering since you had no gentleman, what his purpose was here? If you do not mind me asking.”

  My brow furrowed, taken aback by the question. “He is my friend. I enjoy his company.”

  “So,” he licked his lips, looking to his feet, “it is nothing more than that? I only ask because, well…I do not know if it would interest you, if I was to inquire if you would like to enter a courtship with…me…”

  My whole body froze as I tried to think of a proper way to decline. “Cleante, that—that is very…I’m flattered, but…I think you are a nice person, and you are quite talented, but—”

  “Your feelings are elsewhere.” He nodded.

  “I’m sorry,” I started.

  He shook his head. “No, it is all right. I should…get to my inspection. Have a good day.”

  He turned and walked away, and Brielle ran up to me. “There you are. I thought the Mademoiselle agreed to stay on the second floor?”

  I sighed, nodding. “I know. Off to bed, I suppose.”

  I let her lead me off back to the house. The small amount of sunshine and fresh air only pleased me slightly, as I felt horrible for what happened between Cleante and myself. Brielle confined me to my bed, again. She helped me change and offered to tie my hair in a ribbon, up off my neck. I let her do so, sitting at the vanity befor
e I was led back toward the bed. I tried working on my embroidery once again—something I was terrible at, but it consumed my time nonetheless.

  Colette walked into the room, sauntering over to me in her orange cream gown. “I heard you tried to escape, today.”

  I smirked. “Yes. I failed, though.”

  “Obviously, or else you would not be chained to your bed, again.” She almost laughed, smiling brightly.

  “How were things with Constanze?” I put the embroidery down beside me to my left as she sat down on the side of the bed.

  “Oh, she was complaining that you have not invited her to your party.” She looked down at the embroidery. The little bit of pink rose I was trying caught her eye. “This is pretty.”

  “It is terrible,” I said. “What did you say to Constanze in response?”

  “I told her that it is your guest list, not mine. That I would talk to you and see if I could get you to change your mind.” She looked at me, smiling.

  “Do you really want me to change my mind?”

  She shrugged. “It doesn’t bother me. I completely understand, Maddy. They are my friends, not yours. Lucien shall be here, our new friends from Rose’s parties, and Rose herself. My father wants to invite some of his business associates, which you gave permission for, and my mother is going to have a few of her little hens over as well, which again, you gave permission for. It shall be a full ball. Constanze, Yolande, and Christine would just make it crowded.”

  I rolled my eyes. “I suppose she was furious, though. Hoping you would step up over me and invite her.”

  “Oh, probably.” She turned and stood up. “I would not doubt it in the least, but, oh well. Shall I have supper brought up to you? Shall I dine with you up here?”

  “Unless you wish to dine with everyone else,” I shrugged.

  She looked at me, her brow creasing as she tried to stop from laughing sarcastically, “Oh please, Maddy. Like I enjoy dining with Pa-pa or Maman. I actually like dining up here. I think I will follow suit with my mother and have a private dining room whenever I have a home of my own.”

  “Who will be your husband?” I asked.