Affaire de Coeur

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Affaire de Coeur Page 36

by Stephanie O’Hanlon


  We made love like we hadn’t been able to for months or even years, though we had made love the night before and every night previous after my cycle had finished. Perhaps it was the anticipation of in two or so days coming out with everything and being honest. We would be able to be a real couple.

  My moans grew louder and closer together. My whole body shook until I bit my lip. Everything within me rocked as Lucien kissed me, his lips still against mine as he let out a groan. His whole body slowed and shook beneath me before he quickly pulled out. He turned away from me, pushing my legs and gown out of the way as he nearly collapsed onto the empty space on the secrétaire, panting heavily.

  “I forgot how much I dislike doing that.” He breathed heavily, standing up straight and swallowing hard.

  I laughed lightly. “We probably should have gone up to my bedchamber.”

  He looked to me, catching his breath as he fixed his breeches and straightened out his clothes. “That probably would have been a better idea, yes.”

  I stood up off the secrétaire, rearranging my chemise underneath and then my petticoat, straightening myself out. I turned and opened one of the drawers, pulled out a handful of white handkerchiefs, giving one to Lucien and using one to dab the sweat and carefully wipe my face.

  “How did you know those were there?” he asked.

  “I put them there,” I said, dabbing at my chest. “The Marquise bought them then could not figure out where to put them. She asked me to put them away.”

  His brow furrowed. “Is that not something the help should do?”

  I shrugged. “I didn’t mind doing it. It was when I first arrived, and I figured it was the least I could do.”

  He nodded, wiping his forehead before he cleaned his own mess up off the tabletop, throwing the handkerchief amongst some other dirty linen that was left in the room in a wicker basket. Once satisfied, he grabbed his mask, and we left the room, sneaking our way back into the party. Barely anyone noticed that we were gone.

  As we walked in, my eyes went to a familiar face. Armand walked up to us in his usual formality, though it was befitting for my grand event—his usual black justaucorps with gold trim and cashmere breeches.

  “Armand!” I smiled, obviously aware that there was a glow about me for no other reason than Lucien, but I was happy to see him.

  “Happy birthday,” he said as he handed me a pink lily. “I hope you have been having a pleasant evening.”

  I looked to Lucien and back to Armand, “Oh, yes. I would show you the lovely gift Lucien got me, but—”

  “Who is that?” Armand stopped, pointing across the room to Colette, who was smiling and laughing with the blue-clad gentleman toward the far end of the room by my table of gifts.

  “Ummm.” I swallowed, my high dropping off considerably. “That is Étienne Galland.”

  Colette flirtatiously pushed at Étienne, laughing before she leaned forward and whispered in his ear or kissed his cheek. Armand was not only devastated, but also furious. His piercing eyes turned into daggers as he stared at them.

  Colette suddenly looked at us. Seeing Armand obviously startling her, and she put down her champagne glass as her eyes met with his. He shook his head as he turned and stormed off toward the terrace doors. Colette quickly dropped her mask as she picked up the skirt of her gown and ran after him.

  “Oh no,” I said as she ran past us. Rose ran up to us.

  “What the hell is going on? Where is Armand off to?”

  I shook my head, looking to Lucien as he nodded, knowing that we should follow. We all ran after them.

  “Wait! Armand! Please!” Colette sobbed, nearly tripping down the steps on the terrace.

  “Tell me why I should,” Armand spat, continuing to walk down the path. Guests who enjoyed the summer starlight had stopped and stared.

  “Please, you don’t understand. I was—”

  He turned to her. “You were what? Stringing me along? Doing as you normally do? Taking what you normally take?”

  “No,” she started, trying to defend herself. “I was—”

  “Sneaking about with him, giving him more than he probably asked for, gone for hours on end, and nowhere to be found? I know exactly what went on, Colette. I am not stupid.”

  “You…Rose! You had Rose spy on me!” she shouted, her face turning red with anger.

  “No, you stupid little girl. I paid one of your chambermaids to give information to my valet, who in turn gave it to me!” His blue eyes burned into her, his jaw clenched in anger. “I know everything! So, why don’t you fill me in. What is it that you wish to be perceived as truth, and what do you want to cover up?”

  She stood there, her breath getting caught in her chest, and her eyes welling up with tears.

  “Do you want to tell me how everything you ever said to me was a lie?”

  “It was not a lie.” She shook her head, her sobs starting to break through.

  “Oh? Well, why then? Why did you make love to him? Why did you kiss him? Why were you on your knees before him?”

  “That was a lie! It never happened!” She sobbed, bringing her hands up to her face.

  He stepped toward her, ripping her hands away, “Oh? Well, I will sleep better knowing that. Won’t I, Mademoiselle! What of everything else? I know it to be true, so why don’t you just come clean, hmmm? What of your little trysts with him about the grounds?”

  “Stop, please stop!” She sobbed, tears pouring down her face. “What about you? You left, you brushed me off like I was nothing!”

  “Armand.” I stepped forward, and Lucien grabbed my hand.

  “And you, Madeleine,” he turned to me.

  “Leave her out of this.” Lucien stepped forward, in front of me, and between Armand and myself. “She had nothing to do with it, and you know that.”

  “Yes,” Armand snarled. “None the wiser, as usual.” He turned back to Colette, shaking his head. “I had hoped that I would come here tonight and win over your affection. I actually believed that there was enough good in you that you wouldn’t treat me like that. That you wouldn’t treat me like I was some commonplace man who you could toy with. Then, I saw him in your arms, and worse—you flirting like a whore in a corner. Well, I hope you have achieved the greatness you so wished for. You are one of the most skilled libertine’s, Mademoiselle. I bid you adieu.”

  With that, he turned from her, his feet kicking dirt up in her direction as he stomped off. His carriage waited for him in front of the house.

  Colette stood in the silence of the outdoors. Only her uneven breathing filling the air eerily as her body shook.

  I walked up behind her, putting my hand gently on her shoulder. “Colette?”

  “I’m sorry, Maddy. I have ruined your night.”

  I looked down to the ground, shaking my head. “No. No, you haven’t—”

  She turned slowly to me, tears streaking down her face quickly and almost evenly. “I am going to excuse myself. I hope you all will continue to have a good time.”

  She started to walk past us, but I grabbed her hand, trying to stop her. Though she stopped before I could complete the motion, turning to me.

  “Don’t come after me, Madeleine. I mean it. Leave me alone.”

  My hand dropped to my side, watching as she turned and walked off.

  Lucien walked up behind me, his hand on my elbow. “Madeleine, we should get inside.”

  “Are you all right?” Rose asked, looking me over.

  Tears filled my eyes as I turned from them, running after Armand. I caught up with him just as he was about to get into his carriage.

  “Are you happy?” I yelled.

  He stopped and turned. “Madeleine, don’t.”

  “Are you happy? You have broken her heart. Is that what you wanted?” I yelled, tears filling my eyes.

  He walked up to me, the light from all the windows and rooms in the house casting on him. “I am sorry that I ruined your party, but this has nothing to do with you.”


  “She loves you. Do you know that?” I said, a tear escaping my eye, which I quickly wiped away.

  “She has a very odd way of showing it,” he spat.

  “You have an odd way of showing your affection Monsieur, my lord. After all, you paid people to spy on her! If you wanted to know those things, perhaps you should have been a man about it and actually asked her!”

  Lucien grabbed at my elbow, again. “Madeleine, please—”

  “No,” I turned back to Armand, “I thank you. I really should. You have helped us in more ways than you could possibly know, and I thank you for that. Though, what you have done to Colette is inexcusable. She is not perfect. No one is perfect. She is bound to make mistakes, but when you love someone, you accept them for those mistakes. If you really cared, you would have been forthright with her.”

  He stood there, stunned, not able to even speak.

  I finally realized what I was doing, shaking my head. “I’m sorry. I just…good night.”

  I nodded as I turned with Lucien and Rose, making our way back around toward the terrace and into the party.

  Chapter Twenty-Seven

  It was close to three in the morning when all the guests finally left. Rose and I took turns during the duration of the evening to check on Colette, who had locked her door and refused to speak to anyone. Lucien and I agreed that he should stay at his own manor for the night, leaving Colette in my care.

  I was exhausted but knew I needed to check on her, or I wouldn’t get any sleep at all. She locked her door, but I hoped that she hadn’t remembered to lock the door to the boudoir. I turned the handle, and the door opening easily.

  “Colette?”

  I walked inside her bedchamber and looked around the darkened room until I saw her standing at the window. She was still in her gown, as I was, and tears streaked her face.

  “Are you all right?”

  “I asked you not to follow,” she said, sniffing.

  “I didn’t. I made my own way. I assumed, because you locked the front door, you entered through there. I came in through the boudoir.” I pointed behind me to the door I came in through, walking up to her.

  She looked to me for a moment before she turned back toward the window, staring out. “I made a horrible mistake, didn’t I?”

  I shook my head. “Not a horrible one. Just a mistake. Everyone makes mistakes. We are only human, Colette.”

  “It is true, you know. It is all true. All except me being on my knees, that is. I was sneaking Étienne around, and we were intimate,” she said, her voice low.

  “What of your feelings for Armand?” I asked, looking to my hands.

  “You know what they are. Everyone could see how much I loved that stupid man from the start. I just thought that no one other than Vachel would make me feel this way, and it came so easily. I was so angry at myself.” She stomped her foot as she sobbed again, clenching her fist. “On top of it all, I ruined your party!”

  I frowned. “You didn’t. Armand did, but I do not really blame either of you. I had a lot of fun, my gifts were wonderful, my friends, and the dancing. Didn’t you have fun?”

  She looked at me, laughing lightly. “Oh, yes. Amazing amounts.”

  I smiled. “Nothing was ruined, and Armand is just angry, jealous even. Disappointed in himself, angry with himself. If he didn’t blow hot and cold so much, this would have been avoided.”

  She nodded. “If I had just agreed to be with him, this wouldn’t have happened.”

  My brow raised. “He wanted to be with you? He was forthright about it?”

  “Yes,” she nodded, bringing a handkerchief up and wiping her face. “He asked me about a month or so ago. The last day he had given me a lesson, the day before that party that Duc threw. That is why he was not there. He made up a stupid excuse about not being invited and that he had to play for someone else.”

  I nodded. “I remember.”

  “He was really angry with me. I just…I fumbled and got scared. I didn’t know what to do when he said he wanted us to be together. I know what that means. It inevitably leads to marriage. Why should I? I don’t want to. I just don’t know what I was doing!” She stomped, again. “It made sense at the time! Then, he wasn’t here to give me my lesson, again. I didn’t know what to do, so I called upon Étienne, and we…it just happened. Then, Armand sent that note saying he was not going to be teaching me at all, anymore. So, I called Étienne, and it just…happened again and again.”

  I walked over to her bed and rang for her servants. “I think you should go to bed. Perhaps you will feel better in the morning, when you have had time to really process it all.”

  She turned to me, wiping her face. Not agreeing or disagreeing, she unlocked the door. Her maids entered and helped her get ready and put her to bed. Once she was in bed, I turned and walked back over to my bedroom, just as Brielle entered. Toulouse was sitting on my bed, waiting for me.

  Brielle looked tired, shuffling forward to me. “Do you wish to bathe before you go to sleep, Mademoiselle?”

  I shook my head. “No, no. Just getting to bed is on my mind right now.”

  She seemed relieved as she starting to undress me and put my nightgown on me. She pulled my hair out gently and combed her fingers through it to separate all the curls. She helped me into bed. The August heat made even the thought of the coverlet and linens to cause me to shudder uncomfortably. I lay back, Toulouse climbing his way up onto me and lying in the crook between my arm and body, purring away and relaxing me to sleep.

  I yawned as I stirred my lemonade. The sun blazed, making the very air stifling and uncomfortable. Even Toulouse was stretched out in the shade from the table. His tail beat the ground anxiously.

  I waved my fan, trying to get a cool breeze. My eyes went up to Colette, who walked out from the salon. No rouge was applied to her cheeks, but her hair was pinned up, and she wore a dark blue pet-en-l’air over top of a lavender petticoat.

  “Colette.” I sat up straight, my fan dropping to my lap. “Are you…how are you? How did you sleep?”

  She walked forward, sitting down beside me. “Very little. I feel terrible, today.”

  “Well, you were quite emotional last night. It is completely understandable,” I said, picking up my fan, again. I continued waving it about, trying to get a cool breeze.

  “It is not just that, Maddy.” She sat back as a maid poured her a cup of tea and added milk to her cup.

  “I am sure Armand will come around.”

  She looked to me, shaking her head tiredly. “I know he will not, but I have learned from my mistake. I am not going to entertain any gentlemen from now on.”

  “Not even Étienne?” I asked, surprised.

  “Especially not him. Thankfully, Vachel has not spoken to me in a while. I have that small blessing.” She smoothed out her bodice as she took her cup with her other hand, bringing it up to her lips.

  I didn’t know how she was going to stand drinking the hot liquid, as the weather was almost unbearable for me. I sipped away at my lemonade, trying to think elsewhere. I knew if I focused on it would be more prominent, and I would suffer more.

  I licked my lips as I looked to her, noticing that she had large, dark circles under her eyes, and her face looked somewhat drawn out.

  How much sleep had she had? How long did she cry? Did she cry herself to sleep?

  “Shall we invite Rose over to keep us company?” I asked, trying to think of something of interest to say to keep her mind off her troubles.

  She shook her head. “I really do not want to see anyone today. Last night was extremely humiliating. I think it will be months before I can show my face in town again. I suppose they are all happy, now. I have had two outbursts at two separate events—both having to do with a gentleman.”

  I frowned, not knowing what to say to her. Nothing I could possibly say would comfort her.

  The Marquis walked out onto the terrace. His face was stern as he stood before us, commanding our atte
ntion. “Now, I do not want to know what happened last night, but that is not what concerns me,” he began, his hands going behind his back. “I am going to ask you once more, both of you. Have you seen anything of interest around the grounds, lately?”

  We both shook our heads. He had asked us that question before, but something about it made my skin crawl under the heat.

  “Why, Pa-pa?” Colette asked, looking to him tiredly.

  “There is now a curfew for you, both of you. Even you, Madeleine. As long as you are living under this roof, you will also be my responsibility. So, you will also fall under these new rules I am implementing.”

  Colette’s eyebrow raised. “A curfew?”

  He paced. “All doors will be locked. You girls will need to be in the house by eight for our supper, and you will not be leaving the grounds after that. Your own rooms should be locked, as well, after your maids search them. Windows are to be secured, unless the heat is too unbearable. Then, they will only be opened a small amount. I will have the only key. It will be put somewhere safe until the morning, when the doors will be unlocked, again. Is that clear?”

  “Why?” I asked, looking at Colette and back to the old man.

  “There has been a man sighted on our land. He has returned several nights, coming from the stables. I do not know what he is up to, but in hearing from most of the servants, he has frequented my land. I am convinced that it is not just servant blabber, and I plan to rectify it.”

  My whole body froze, and my heart was incased in ice. They saw Lucien! Obviously, not clearly enough to know it was him or even seeing him come to the servant’s entrance and meet me, but they saw him on the grounds.

  What are we going to do, now? I thought, my heart picking up.

  That was the end of Lucien visiting me in my bedchamber, but it was not all-bad. We were planning on letting everyone know that I was his lady within the next day or so.

 

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