Affaire de Coeur

by Stephanie O’Hanlon

  He turned me around to help me with my gown, getting me undressed and tossing the pieces of clothing onto the floor. He did the same with his own clothes. There was no need to worry about someone walking in and finding them.

  I pulled my hair out as best as I could on my own, took out my earrings carefully, and set them on the bedside table. As he closed the door, I got into bed and covered myself up with the linens, watching as he took his breeches off. He turned to pull one of the assurance caps out of the side drawer, secured it, and got into bed himself. He turned to me and kissed my neck and shoulder playfully, a laugh escaping me before my hand came up to cover my mouth to stop the loud sound.

  He shook his head, pulling my hand away from my mouth. “There is no need for that. Tonight, we can be as loud as we wish, do as wish. Just surrender to the moment.”

  I stretched up to him, my lips finding his easily and quickly. A warm, full body flush came over me as my leg went up to his hip. My arms wrapped around his neck once again and pulled him into me.

  He kissed my neck as he rocked against me, and I bit my lip for a moment to stop myself from calling out. Then, I realized there was no one in the apartments. Even the servants had retired. The only one who could hear us was Toulouse, and something told me he wouldn’t mind the noise. As I moaned out loud, Lucien’s breathing and moaning quickened as well, groaning as his lips feverishly pressed against the side of my throat. My whole body tingled and shuddered warmly beneath him.

  I lay in his arms, my eyes closing slowly as I smiled. I realized I was actually content. It was true that things had come out horribly, but at that moment, I was safely in his arms, without worries and the door unlocked.

  Chapter Thirty

  “Where are you going?” I asked, pulling the linen sheet up to cover me.

  Lucien turned to me, pulling his shoe on. “I have an appointment with Monsieur le Dauphin…a hunting excursion.” He turned on the bed. Lying beside me on his side, he grabbed hold of me tightly. “I wish I could stay here all day with you, but snubbing the future King of France is not a very wise decision.”

  I frowned, nodding. “I know. Will you be back this evening?”

  He sighed. “I am afraid not, my love. Grandma-ma is having a very important meeting with her business advisor and lawyer. She is making up a new will. I do want to talk to you about something, and it is quite important. It will have to wait until tomorrow, though.”

  “Something important?” I asked, slightly worried about such a conversation.

  He smiled. “Nothing to worry about, but it is of the utmost importance.”

  He kissed me lightly, trailing more kisses down my cheek and to my neck. I giggled as I sat up with him, pulling him into me and kissing him passionately.

  He shook his head, smiling as he pulled away. “You cannot start with that, now. I have an appointment to keep.”

  I pouted, pulling the linen up on me, again. “Did you ever get around to speaking to Armand?”

  He nodded as he stood. He grabbed his damask waistcoat and pulled it on. “I did, though he did not have much to say. What he did say was that he was fine, and he heard about us being outed. He wanted to know how you were in particular.”

  “Me?” I asked as I brought my knees up, wrapping my arms around them. “The one who scolded him?”

  He nodded. “Apparently, but the point is, he is still quite a broken man. Whether that is due to you and your words, or the fact that he doesn’t have Colette on any level, I am unsure. He is difficult when it comes to such things.”

  He put his justaucorps on, his hair pulled back neatly with his bow and bag holding it in place. He looked well put together and dashing, if not a little overdressed for such a time in the morning. He walked over to me, sitting on the bed next to me. He used the back of his hand to push my tangled curls off my shoulder.

  “I shall be back tomorrow as soon as the sun rises, and I shall climb into bed with you.”

  I smiled, scooting forward and looking his face over slowly. I stopped once I got to his eyes. “Have I told you that I love you?”

  He smirked, leaning toward me. “I think you just did, my love.” His lips pressed against mine sweetly, taking only a moment to pull me in before he broke away, standing up and straightening himself out. “I still have permission to write you?”

  I nodded. “You most certainly do.”

  He kissed me on the forehead before he turned and made his way out of the room.

  Rose had not awoken when I had. I took a warm, amazing bath that kept the smile on my face bright, despite Lucien being gone. Yvonne helped me to dress for the day, not as skillfully as Brielle had, but she got me together just as well. I wore a white, silk gown with red vines and leaves patterned all over it, no jewelry except for the earrings Lucien had given me, and a black ribbon tied at the base of my neck.

  The sacque back on the gown billowed out as I turned into the dining room and made my way into the salon. I sat at the table and picked away at my breakfast. I didn’t mind eating alone, finishing my meal and walking into the parlor. I grabbed one of the books Rose had lying out and sat down with it. I wasn’t shocked to find it was a libertine novel, and I even considered putting it down without reading another word, but it sucked me in.

  Yvonne walked into the room. “Mademoiselle, there is someone here to see you.”

  Colette walked into the room from the foyer. The breath was nearly knocked out of me as I stood from the table, my book pressed against my stomach. We stood for nearly five entire minutes in an awkward silence. Her light blue robe à l’Anglaise swayed noisily as she shifted about, her black cloak over her shoulders.

  “I tried to write you, to apologize…but words failed me,” she said, breaking the silence.

  I kept silent, not saying a word. I was not even sure if I wanted to say anything at all.

  She looked at my book, craning her neck uncomfortably. “I am not…inconveniencing you, am I?”

  I shook my head. “No. Forgive my manners. I am suddenly feeling unwell.”

  “I see…” She looked down to the floor before stepping forward, gathering her courage. “Maddy, I’m…I’m sorry. I really…I am really, very sorry. I was wrong, very wrong to say anything at all about you and Lucien. It was not my place to say. I have a very long list of excuses, but I will not bother with them. You do not deserve to be riddled with excuses.”

  My eyes fell to the floor.

  “I could say that it was because I was still upset about Armand, or that I was upset because Vachel sent me a note telling me he didn’t wish to see me, that basically all I was good for was sex. Or I could say that I was angry with you, because in the garden you mentioned that Rose had known all along about you and Lucien, but I think you will agree that it doesn’t matter at this point.”

  I pushed my shoulders back, my stomach feeling slightly sick. What was I to say to her?

  “You love him, don’t you?” she asked, looking me over.

  I nodded, tears filling my eyes. “I didn’t think it was possible to love a person this much.”

  She stepped toward me, holding her hands out to me. “I’m sorry, Maddy! I didn’t know!”

  I fell into her arms, sobbing like an idiot.

  She pulled me away from her, patting at my face as I wiped my tears. “If you had told me, you know I would not have said anything. I was just angry, Rose knew, and Armand wouldn’t speak to me. It was bad enough that you had not told me, but finding out that Rose knew sent me over the edge.”

  I nodded. “I am sorry I did not tell you. We did not want a big fuss. We didn’t want all the pressure from the public knowing. Look how that has gone. We should have just been forthcoming about it from the beginning. It did not stop Constanze and her threats.”

  She frowned, shaking her head. “It would have only been harder, Maddy. If anything, this gave you two the chance to really appreciate each other…to really love each other.”

  I nodded, my eyes filling w
ith tears, again.

  “Where is Rose?” she asked, looking about the room and taking off her black leather gloves.

  “She was in quite late after Lucien and I. I think around three or so. She slept most of the morning away. I think she wanted to be woken about now, so she could make her toilette to prepare for the evening out, again.”

  “Hmmm,” Colette hummed, smiling lightly. “Why don’t you come home with me? My parents left for their annual tour of Europe, and my cousin Leopold is my chaperone. I was planning on having a little party. Please, Maddy? Please come, and invite Lucien.”

  “Lucien has business this evening, so he will not be able to attend, but I am sure he would not want me to waste the night.”

  She smiled brightly. “It is only a little thing, nothing much. I…I’m sorry, Maddy. I cannot say it enough. I know things between us were getting strained, and after not speaking to you or seeing you for an entire week, it made me realize how foolish I have been.”

  I smiled at her, nodding. “Yes, you certainly have, but so have I. All is forgiven and forgotten. I would just like to look forward to a new day and move on.”

  She nodded. “Oh, yes! I completely agree.”

  “I hope it is all right if I continue to stay here with Rose, though. I rather like the freedom that Lucien and I have here,” I said, folding my hands before me.

  She nodded, disappointed. “Oh, well…yes, I understand that.”

  There was a bit of awkwardness as we chatted, but that slowly faded as we continued talking, catching up on the week that was missed.

  I explained meeting Lucien’s grandmother and showed her the earrings that were given to me. I listened intently when she told me about Vachel’s letters she had been receiving and his blunt and sudden ignorance of her letters until he was going to be in town.

  “I knew what he was up to,” she said as she took a sip of her tea. “I told him I did not want to play that game, anymore. He basically said what else was I good for, then? So, that was the end of it.”

  I looked down at the table, surprised Vachel said such a thing…on any level. Who knew he would compromise his on-and-off relationship with Colette? She was always there for him with open arms, her bed ready for him if he needed it. Now, with such harsh words, it seemed he was willing to take the consequences.

  Rose made her appearance sometime later, giddy over the prospect of going to a little event at the Du Lorme home. She readily accepted the invite, though she would be going to visit her newest love interest beforehand.

  As it was getting late, I decided to write to Lucien, letting him know where I would be in case he finished early with his grandmother’s business affairs and could attend the event.

  Arriving at the Du Lorme manor felt strange but all too familiar, as if it was really my home, as I had made it since May. It was strange to walk into the foyer and know that the Marquis and his wife were not in the house. Their harsh words would not be hitting off the walls, and their scornful faces would not be present.

  I stood in the middle of my old bedchamber. It was much the same as I left it, except everything was put away nicely. The pretty, pink jewel box filled me with a sense of comfort as I looked at the bed, smiling as I remember my nights with Lucien.

  “The boys are here,” Colette said from the doorway.

  I turned to her, “Oh, all right, I will be down in a moment.”

  She smiled and walked off, now dressed in a light orange and white striped robe à l’Anglaise, orange ruffles up the seams of the stomacher and around the neckline, and edging the open robe. She had a solid orange petticoat underneath, and white gauze edged with lace poked out of her sleeves, which had ruffles around them.

  I had changed into a light lavender and violet robe à l’Anglaise, a closed robe, and Lucien’s mother’s—or my earrings, rather—on my ears. I was ready to show everyone and hear the oohing and ahhing over them.

  I walked down the staircase, stopping at the landing as six gentlemen and three ladies stood in the foyer, speaking with Colette.

  “Oh, Maddy.” Colette signaled me to come over, which I did, and she introduced me to everyone. “This,” she said, pointing to a familiar face, “Is Monsieur le Comte Cognet.”

  The man who had been forward to me at Rose’s party and tried to keep my gaze at my own birthday party stood before me, smiling as he bowed to me.

  “Mademoiselle looks enchanting this evening,” he said, coming back up.

  I nodded, unsure. “Thank you.”

  “Let us all start a game of Faro in the salon!” Colette grabbed my hand, pulling me along with her. All the guests following behind.

  I sat on one of the armchairs. Colette and four gentlemen sat at the table, playing their card game. Two of the three ladies sat on the chaise longue, and the other lady and gentleman stood in front of them, all chatting away.

  Leopold was no doubt in the Marquis’s study. He was a tall, thin man and only a few years older than Colette and myself. He looked much like the Marquis, except with Colette’s striking, green eyes. He avoided Colette and her antics as much as possible. He was only watching her and the house because his uncle was paying him.

  I turned, as there was a tap on my shoulder, seeing Brielle, who smiled at me warmly and handed me a little note. “This is for you, Mademoiselle.”

  I smiled. “Thank you.”

  I opened it and read it over quickly.

  Mademoiselle,

  Meet me in the parlor for a word.

  I looked over the unfamiliar script, got up, and excused myself. I made my way up to the parlor. The Comte Cognet stood in the middle of the room with a glass of champagne, smiling as he turned to me.

  “Ah, so you received my note.”

  “I did. May I ask what it is you wish to speak to me about?”

  He placed his glass down on the table in front of the sofa, walking toward me. “I can understand how forward I was when we first met. I had misheard some things that were about our hostess. I wish to apologize formally for them.” He bowed to me, his hand extended before he stood up straight.

  “Well,” I looked around the room, “thank you? Your apology is accepted.”

  “I hoped I could offer you something to show you how sincerely I wish us to be the greatest of friends.” He stepped toward me, holding his hand out.

  I snubbed the gesture, swallowing hard as I walked past him and over toward the dining table, turning back to him. “An offer? I do not think that would interest me, unless you are keen on friendship. That is something I can readily provide.”

  He smiled wickedly. “Good. I wish you to provide said friendship at least three times a week.”

  I stepped back. “Excuse me, Monsieur?”

  “Well, you are to be Comtesse. Are you not? Are you not aware that with such a position comes certain expectancies, including a lover?”

  He stepped toward me, closing the distance I had just put between us.

  I backed up again, going around the table. “He is my lover, and I think we have a misunderstanding, I am indeed in a relationship with the Comte de Laurent, and that may lead to marriage, but that is not something that is forefront in my mind.”

  He continued to step forward, closing the distance between us with a simple stride—a distance that took me at least three or four steps to manage.

  “It is best to prepare, is it not? I am offering you a very pleasing option, on both our parts.”

  “I am sorry, my lord, but you misunderstand my intentions, both with you and with the Comte.” I circled around the table, picking up my pace. He matched my own and cut me off from running toward the door.

  “I am not misunderstanding anything. I just think you are unaware of how things work.” He walked toward me, causing me to back up into the wall. He put his arms on either side of me, caging me in front of him.

  I shook my head, quickly ducking under his arm and running around the table. I held my arms out to keep him a good length away from me. “I
am aware how things are done. I just wish not to conform. I do not wish to follow a path that is not my own.”

  He tossed a chair out of his way as his sights narrowed on me, walking over to me with a smile on his face. “I think I can change your mind.”

  I turned and ran toward the door, his feet catching up to me. His hands went to my waist and turned me toward him. I tried to push him away, but his large hands grabbed my wrists and held them tightly as he leaned into me, pushing his lips against my own.

  My whole body wanted to explode from shock, a shudder of disgust running over me as I whimpered. Using all of what little strength I had, I wrenched my wrists free and pushed on his chest, shoving him back slightly. I then slapped him across the face, holding my left hand to the side of my face. “How dare you!”

  He looked at me, stunned and unable to speak.

  “I think you had better leave. Your conduct here has been unacceptable, and…I do not wish to have you in my sight, or near me for that matter.”

  His eyes did not meet mine, and he did not bother to fix his posture as he walked out of the room. The door closed behind him, and his footsteps disappeared down the hall.

  I stood in the middle of the room, looking around it, confused. The shock of being chased around a room and violently touched made my whole face burn as tears pooled in my eyes. I swallowed what felt like vomit, and my hand rested on my bodice as I tried to steady myself.

  What will Lucien say? I need to tell him. Oh, Lucien…

  I put my hand to my forehead, trying to calm myself as I remembered I would see him in the morning. He would come to my bed. I could tell him and be safe in his arms.

  He’ll never allow me to be alone, again…

  How I longed for him to be there and offer me a source of protection. I certainly was a meek and feeble woman.

  A knock came to the door, and Colette walked in. “I saw the Comte Cognet—Maddy? What’s wrong?”

  I shook my head, tears finally spilling over as I turned away from her.