by Yessi Smith
The pain my words caused flicker across his face, hardening his features as he masks the sorrow cast in his eyes.
I look back at the house, not wanting to meet his eyes. Poppa’s in there somewhere, and I’m wasting time in trying to push Travis away.
“Fine.” I look back at him. “But he has to believe I’m alone.”
Travis nods his head in agreement. “So, we’ll come back tonight.”
I shake my head at him, at him trying to take control, and anger seeps in for agreeing to let him help. “We go now.” I move away from him, ready to run toward the house without Travis.
“Think about it, Holly.” He grabs my hand, not letting me move. “If we come back when it’s dark, he won’t be able to see us.”
I want him to see me coming. I want him to know I’m there. But he wants me alone, so yeah, him not seeing Travis would be a good thing.
“Fine.”
Not meeting Travis’s eyes, I spin around and walk back through the woods. I don’t bother talking to him or coming up with a plan. My only plan is to get back to the house and give myself to the man of my nightmares, so he will let Poppa go. I don’t care about anything else to think beyond that.
Once we get back to the stream, Travis calls Leeloo so we can go back to the house, and she gives him the dog equivalent of the middle finger. This dog is meant to be in the water and hates being called away from it. Travis hoses Leeloo off when we get back to the house while I stand on the front steps of Poppa’s house.
My emotions teeter, on the brinks of an attack.
Derrick’s truck is parked a few feet from where I stand, so I know he’s still here. Knowing I’ll expose myself and my thoughts, I don’t want to go inside. He’ll ask too many questions, and I can’t risk him coming along, too.
Come alone.
That’s what his note said to me.
Come alone.
I can’t very well bring Travis and a cop with me.
Travis pats Leeloo dry before letting her inside. I follow her sad gaze into the woods and know she already misses the stream.
“Later.”
She wags her tail at me, unaware that there may never be a later for me.
Derrick walks out of the house as I’m about to go in, so I turn around and busy myself with the wet towel Travis left on the ground. Instead of going to his truck, Derrick follows me.
“How did it go with Ann?” he asks.
I shrug my shoulders.
Sensing Travis as soon as he’s close to me, my body instinctually leans toward him. He puts his arms around me, taking possession of me.
“Oh, you know, she wants me to be hypnotized,” I say and Derrick laughs.
Although Travis doesn’t seem to grasp the humor of the situation, I’m glad Derrick does.
“Think she’ll make ya cluck like a chicken?” Derrick asks.
“You mean, no-sense-of-humor Ann?” I ask and he grins. “Highly unlikely,” I say, mimicking her stern tone of voice.
“So, no ideas, other than turning you into a circus clown?”
“No.” I shake my head.
Derrick turns to his truck, ready to leave, but looks back at me before he leaves.
He runs his hands over his face once and says, “Call me if you need anything.”
“I will,” I say at the same time Travis tells him, “She won’t.”
I don’t bother stomping my foot on Travis’s toes or making excuses for him because I simply don’t care. It’s not like I’ll live past tonight anyway.
An endless sea of black spreads before us as we approach the house long after nightfall. I guide us through the woods and stand just outside the tree line when the shed comes to view. Thick leaves are strewn above us on the trees, casting a shadow over us. It’s quiet, making our steps more prominent as small branches crack beneath our feet.
As we get closer to the shed, Travis steps in front of me and stretches his arm out, and I run right into it. I look up at him in question and follow his gaze toward the shed. His eyes nervously dance around, so I squint my eyes to help me get a better view of my surroundings. My pulse hammers in my ears so loud that I can’t hear Travis when he speaks. I open my mouth to talk, but I scream instead when Travis suddenly stumbles to the ground, grunting in pain.
My eyes scan the area around us again, searching for something, someone, but I don’t see anything, so I kneel down beside Travis. He yells at me, but I can’t hear him. He reaches for his thigh, and I follow his hand that pulls out an arrow.
My eyes widen and I look back at Travis’s pale face. His lips continue to move rapidly, and I blink at him a few times until my brain registers what he’s saying.
“What’s wrong with you?” he shouts. “Get the hell out of here.”
“You’re shot,” I manage to stammer out, pointing at the arrow sticking out from his thigh.
His Adam’s apple bobs when he swallows hard and after a strong tug, he snaps the arrow in half and pulls himself to his feet, taking me with him. Travis puts his arm around me and limps quickly toward the woods, to safety. Fighting off a wave of dizziness, I get out of his grasp, shouting Poppa’s name, as I run away from Travis and toward Poppa.
Travis grunts from behind me while he tries to keep up with me when I suddenly hear the whoosh of another arrow flying past me. Travis swears loudly, but when I look back, I see he’s still running.
I don’t know if he’s been shot again, but I don’t let that thought deter me. I can’t. I have to get to Poppa.
With that thought taking root, I run faster into the demon’s lair.
When I’m a mere ten feet away from the shed, a figure appears from behind the shadows. His eyes seem to shine in the dark, and I can make out the outline of his mouth when he smiles back at me, baring his teeth. Finally, he turns on a light, and I see his face.
Immediately, I recognize him and choke as I inhale a breath. He’s not only the face of my nightmares, but he’s also the very man who consoled me at the hospital the night my parents died in a car accident.
After the accident, Poppa was called to the hospital. We didn’t know what had happened. We only knew that my parents had gotten hurt. What a surprise it was when Poppa was asked to identify their bodies instead.
Poppa stumbled at their words, and I gripped his hand with my own.
“There was an accident,” I calmly told the nurse. “But they’re okay.” I wanted my words to be true.
Compassion flickered behind the nurse’s eyes for a fleeting moment, only for it to be covered with a neutral stare.
“Please follow me,” she replied.
I stumble backward and collide into Travis, whose breath falls loudly behind me. He puts his hands out to steady me, and I feel moisture when his hand touches my arm. When I look at my arm where Travis is holding on to me, all I see is blood…Travis’s blood.
I look at him where a cold sheen of sweat glistens from his beautiful face. My eyes go down to another spot on his thigh where he was shot by another arrow.
“I’m okay,” he whispers into my hair.
My eyes well up with tears, suddenly understanding I’ve brought Travis along with me to suffer and die.
“Welcome home, Holly,” the man says. He walks to the shed without looking back to see if we follow him.
Mando. That’s his name. He and his wife were hit by my parents’ car when my dad had veered into their lane. His wife, Erica, was severely injured but survived. She survived. My parents died, not her.
Travis takes my hand in his and kisses my trembling fingers before he guides us into the shed. My feet move me forward but I suddenly stop. My heart thunders an irregular beat in my ears as hate spreads into my chest.
Distressed, the memories I kept hidden from myself escape, freeing themselves savagely as they blanket me with the black tendrils of reality.
The shed and its darkness are too familiar.
I remember. I remember all of it.
Rage combusts in a fier
y hell when I let go of Travis’s hand and lunge for Mando, quickly disarming him of his bow and arrow. When the arrows fall to the floor, I throw myself at them and only when I have one in my hands do I stand up again.
Clearing my mind of anything but Derrick’s training, I pace myself while Travis stands beside me, ready to fight as well. Clenching my jaw, I squeeze the arrow into a tight fist by my side. Travis attacks first, lunging forward and landing a punch to Mando’s jaw. Mando’s head snaps back while Travis grabs his right arm and pulls it behind his body. Twisting it further back as Mando pleas for his life.
Lifting my chin, I stalk forward, narrowing my eyes at the man who wanted to take everything away from me. With three quick jabs to Mando’s face, I give him the same smile he once gave me as blood trickles down his nose and splatters on the floor.
Our ragged breaths fill the air as we stare at each other, hatred spilling from our pores. When I step in once again, Mando squirms, sending a knife he’d hidden under his belt into the side Travis’s stomach.
Panic guts me as I watch Travis fall to the floor, holding his side when he makes contact. Mando’s eyes round in anticipation and when he hits my stomach my body bounces on the ground before I curl into myself. Gasping for air, Mando grabs the collar of my shirt and I hear the fabric tear. When our eyes meet, he backhands me and as I fall, I lose the grip on my weapon. My chance at our survival.
“Your boyfriend’s dying.” Mando sits on his knees and grips my chin, leaving an indent on my skin. “I can stitch him up and save him.” He presses his nose to mine, his saliva dripping on my mouth. “I’ll do it for you. A compromise of sorts. You follow my rules, Holly, or he dies. Do you understand?”
The memory of Mando lurked behind me, trailing me, mocking me, making me cower in fear. It grew bigger, scarier. Now that the shadow has cleared and revealed itself as a regular man, I cower in the safety of his words.
“I understand.” I nod. “You’ll save him.”
Piece by piece, my defenses shake and crumble. The fight that seconds ago spiked through me, shatters, crushing the hope of survival.
Truth clears and I’m her slave.
“Maybe.” Mando’s lips twitch.
I run my nails down my face as a scream escapes my throat. Poppa groans my name, and I immediately stop screaming as I focus my attention on finding him.
“Poppa,” I call to him, my voice rattled with fear. My eyes roam the dark room and I find him lying naked in the corner of the room.
He groans again, so I run to him. I go to him, to comfort him, to bring him warmth with my body heat, but Mando grabs me before I can, pulling me away from Poppa. With swift movements, Mando throws me against the wall, and I fall to the ground with a hard thud.
Blood—that’s the last thing I taste before the world goes black.
“Holly.” His voice is faint, almost gargled.
But even faint, I recognize Travis. I blink open my eyes but close them when the light attacks them.
“Holly, sweetie.” His voice—deeper and with the rumble I’m accustomed to—pulls at me, welcoming me home.
The chaos in my heart settles, knowing Travis is here. Life always smiles back at me when he’s here.
Curled into a tight ball, I open my eyes again, blinking several times, trying to orient myself as I adjust to the onslaught of light from the overhead fixtures hanging from the ceiling. I shield my eyes from the intrusive lights and gasp when I find Travis splayed out in front of me with his hands and feet spread apart, forming a shackled X on the floor. Realization of where we are quickly dawns on me as I take in his battered and bloody face.
“Travis,” his name spills from my lips.
Despite the pain in my head and the nausea churning inside me, I pick myself up from the dirty floor. Standing too quickly, I grip the wall for support before I run to him. Just as I reach him, the door to the shed opens.
With my heart pounding in my ears and the pain encompassing every limb in my body, I look up at him—Mando, the man who destroyed my life and ruined me. I don’t bother asking why because I finally remember. In his demented mind, he thinks he is avenging his wife.
“Erica,” I say his wife’s name, knowing he hates the sound of it coming from my lips.
Coming to grips with our reality, I know I should be scared. Hell, I am scared. But more than that, I just want this to be over, wherever that might lead.
“Erica.” His smile is slow and calculating, his voice far more relaxed than I expected. “You finally understand.”
I don’t though. Even now that I have Travis, I still don’t get Mando’s warped version of love.
Mando nods toward Travis, and fear settles in the pit of my stomach. He knows. Before I’ve even had the chance to utter the words to Travis, Mando has figured out that I’m in love with Travis.
“Love is cruel.” Mando’s smile draws to a sneer as he looks from Travis to me. “No one ever defines love as the cruel joke it actually is. From the minute you let love in, your heart starts to break until it is nothing but a shattered mess.”
“But what about the pieces left behind?” I take pride in the strength behind my voice, and I clasp my shaky hands together, hoping they’ll tremble less.
I don’t try to look for Poppa or make eye contact with Travis. They’ll just deter me from what I have to do to get us out of here.
“Can’t they be beautiful? Erica was your saving grace. That’s what you told me. She saved you from yourself. Yeah, Erica is broken, but she’s still here.” God, I hope she’s still here, and she didn’t die after I left. “What would she say, Mando? What would she think?” I try to use Erica against him, like I did the morning before I was able to escape. If I can put him in the same muddled state as before, maybe I can get Poppa and Travis out of here.
“The broken pieces don’t mean a thing when they can’t be pieced together.” His hands form a tight fist by his thighs. “My Erica is gone. What remains is simply a body, a festering body that destroys her as much as it does me.”
“No—”
I want to argue with him, but he puts one finger to his lips and then walks to Travis. I follow close behind him, examining Mando’s every move with my heart in his hands. I shake my head at him, but I lunge forward when he kicks Travis in the side of his stomach.
“It’s okay,” With his eyes crazed, still Travis tries to sooth me between gasps of breath.
I fall beside him and put a comforting hand on his cheek.
His pain is mine, and I’m staggering in it.
“I’m okay, Holly,” he whispers into the crevice of my neck when I lean down to hug him.
On a soft sob, I sit up, my eyes trailing over his body for injuries. Temporary satisfaction creeps in when I note Mando kept his promise and sutured Travis’s knife wound.
Travis’s eyes skate to mine and distressed tears spill down my cheek, each one falling on Travis. Fatigue takes over my broken spirit, but I look for hope so that I can find a way to save the men I love.
“I’m okay,” Travis repeats, but I drop my eyes, unable to meet his.
“Here’s how it’s going to go!” Mando shouts, making Travis and me jump. “Every time you do anything to displease me, like contradict what I say or become defiant, your boyfriend will get hurt. That’s your punishment for escaping.” He shrugs his shoulders, as if he didn’t have a care in the world. “You’ll watch your grandpa die slowly – his age and these circumstances are his worst enemies, and your boyfriend will suffer at your hands.” He claps his hands once, twice, three times before he turns around and leaves us in the shed.
At least he left the light on this time.
My hands and feet are untied, and my mouth is uncovered. It’s a calculated move because he knows I won’t leave.
The fight I’d trained for condenses into a small flame that’s easily extinguished when I think of the torture Mando would put Poppa and Travis through if I fought or left to seek help. I can’t protect them, but at l
east I can remain by their side.
Deliberately, I lock away the emotions swirling inside me and kiss Travis on his lips while my tears spill silently on his cheek. I got him in this mess. He’ll suffer and eventually die because he had the great misfortune of meeting me.
I scan the walls for something to pry off the chains holding him hostage, but I know it’s futile. Mando is thorough. He screwed up once, and I escaped. He won’t let that happen again.
“I’m sorry,” I whisper against Travis’s lips when I kiss him again.
“I’m the one who’s sorry,” Travis responds. “I knew we were walking into a trap, but I still didn’t see him. I wasn’t fast enough. I had him... He’s an old man, a fucking old man.” He laughs, but there’s no humor behind it. “I got my ass handed to me by an old man.”
“Yeah, seriously, Trav, what’s wrong with you?”
Despite our circumstances, we still manage to laugh. It isn’t a full belly laugh. Hell, it isn’t even that convincing of a laugh, but it’s a part of us that Mando can’t take away.
Travis is still bleeding from the earlier wounds on his thigh, so I lift his shorts up his leg and do my best to put pressure on them like I’ve seen in the movies. His face contorts in pain as his eyes darken.
“Trav,” I start to say, my face falling in sorrow.
“I’m okay, Holly. It’ll stop bleeding on its own.”
I’m not so sure. But what do I know about anything in this screwed up situation?
I nod my head and try to hide my sadness. “I have to check on Poppa.”
Travis nods slightly while his eyes watch me with all the intensity that is Travis as I walk to Poppa. When I reach him, I find a worn blanket a few feet away from him, and I drape it over his naked body. Still shivering in his sleep, I tuck the blanket under him in the hopes that it’ll bring him warmth. I’m torn between hugging him and just leaving him alone. If it weren’t for the ragged breaths shaking his body every time he inhaled and exhaled, I’d say that he almost looked peaceful. His eyes are closed, his dry lips parted, and his face is relaxed as he sleeps, diminishing the wrinkles around his face.