Yet, he knew that a woman as beautiful as she could never fall in love with a man who was as scarred as he. He was revolting to most but especially to himself. He knew in his heart that she was not a woman who could be bought or who would be influenced by title or position, for if she were, she would not have spurned the Earl’s advances. Many women were set up with apartments by their employers when they became more than servants, and she could easily have used that to get what she wanted. However, she had left instead, without a reference and without severance. She had not told him any of this, but he had ways of learning these things.
No, Jane was one who would marry only for love, and he found himself jealous for the man who would win her heart.
“Your Grace,” the driver said, startling Michael back to the present. The carriage had stopped in front of Wellesley Manor, and the door was already open.
With a nod, Michael exited the carriage and was shocked to see his brother Robert waiting at the top of the steps. “Robert. What brings you to my home today?” Michael said as he climbed the stairs.
Robert wore a sour look and grimaced at Samuel. “You should go to your room. Your father and I have some things to discuss.”
Samuel gave his uncle a puzzled look and then turned to Michael, who gave him an encouraging nod. The boy bounded through the front door but glanced back before disappearing up the stairs.
Once the boy was gone, Robert turned back to Michael. “We had a meeting scheduled at two,” he snapped. “I have other things I could be doing without wasting my time here waiting on you to return from who knows where.”
Michael searched his brain for any memory of a meeting for today with Robert, or anyone else for that matter, and found none. “There was no meeting scheduled for today,” he said. A feeling of frantic alarm poured over him, covering as thoroughly as any hot oil dumped over him from a murder hole could have. And it burned just as hot in his mind.
His brother took no note of his agitation, however. “I told you on my return from London that I would be here at two. Do you not remember?” It was then that he realized how he had spoken, for he reached out a hand and placed it on Michael’s shoulder. “Worry not, Brother. It is of no consequence.”
“But it is,” Michael whispered, the magic of the day now gone as the reality of his madness returned. When he looked into Robert’s eyes, he saw the pain reflected, all caused by the malady Michael carried.
“No, it matters not. We are here now.” He placed his hand on Michael’s back to guide him through the door. “Where were you, if I might ask? You have not left the house in five years, so I was surprised to learn you had gone out in the carriage. Was there something of such importance you had to leave?”
Michael sighed. His brother had always taken such great care of him. He was uncertain what he would do without his guidance and companionship. “Come to the study and I will explain there.”
***
Robert paced back and forth in front of the empty fireplace. “I must admit I do not like you leaving the house, Michael. It is far too risky.”
Michael had explained to his brother about the excursion and how much he had enjoyed it, but he had found his brother’s reaction surprising.
“Miss Harcourt thought it was something I needed,” Michael explained, “and I believe she was right.”
His brother gave a short laugh and stopped his pacing to lean against the desk. “My brother, I have always spoken to you kindly and in truth, have I not?”
The words tore at Michael’s heart. “Yes, and for that I am grateful.”
Robert pushed himself away from the desk and gave Michael a stern look. “Then heed my words and listen carefully. Your memory is slipping, your forgetfulness has increased tenfold over the last few months.” Michael nodded. What Robert said was true. He had been very forgetful as of late, and it worried him no end. “Then this woman, your new governess of all people, encourages you to leave. Why would she do that?”
Michael was filled with both anger and confusion at the tone his brother used with him. It was so unlike the man to speak to him like he was a child, and he was not about ready to allow him to begin to do so now. However, Robert gave him no chance to do so.
“She does not know the degree to which you suffer. Her actions, yes, they might have been out of kindness, as you have indicated, but she does not know the repercussions it would bring to you, or to Samuel.”
Michael stared at the man. Repercussions of an outing? “Speak plainly, for your words confuse me.”
Robert softened his tone. “What if you had had a lapse while away from the house? Do you believe that Miss Harcourt would have the skills to know how to handle such an incident? And what would that have done to Samuel? How would that have affected him?” He tapped a finger to his head. “Think, Michael. Do you wish to harm your son?”
“Of course not, but you do not honestly believe…”
Robert ignored his interruption. “What if you decide to leave again, this time with only Samuel, and you forget the boy? Or forget who you are? There will be no one there to help you, and I would want to kill anyone who tried to take advantage of your broken state. Not to mention the ridicule your son would be forced to face. You know that shame all too well, do you not? And the boy has enough to endure once he is at boarding school and his classmates learn who his father is.”
Michael sighed. Everything Robert said was true and it broke her heart to think he could have endangered his son. The thought of the boy being left alone or perhaps something worse happening due to a bout of lost memory terrified him. “I understand.” Fear gripped him and he fell rather than sat in a nearby chair.
Robert took the seat next to Michael. “There are times such as now when I worry I am going too far,” he said. “It is just that I worry for you, and of course Samuel.”
Michael stood and walked over to the window. Samuel was walking along the path, playing with two large rocks in his hand. His son, his only heir, was all that he had in this world, and the thought of ever forgetting the boy crushed him. Not only for the loss but what it would do to the boy himself.
“It seemed like a good idea at the time,” Michael said in a low voice. His thoughts went to Jane and he wished she was beside him now. He needed her strength and the peace that seemed to radiate from her smile.
When he turned back to his brother, the man had moved to the bookcase, a glass of brandy in his hand. Michael had not even heard him pour, which only concerned him more. Was he so unaware of what was happening around him that he did not hear even his brother pouring a glass of brandy?
“I have seen that look on your face before,” Robert said in that quiet, calm voice on which Michael had grown to depend. “You have become smitten with that woman.”
“That is nonsense,” Michael said. “She is a governess and nothing more.” However, was she nothing more? He was not certain.
He walked over to pour himself a measure of brandy. “I only had one love in my life, and she is gone. I have no time to win over another.” The liquid burned as it traveled down his throat, but it was not an unpleasant feeling. Somehow it made him feel more alive.
“Elizabeth was a fine Duchess, a testament to the title she held,” Robert said in almost reverence. “This woman, this Miss Harcourt, could never come close.” Why did the man sound angry? “Mark my words, be careful of those who seek to be kind to you only because of your title and wealth, for that combination will drive anyone to look past your scars and guilt, and more so a governess. She will use you as much as anyone with ulterior motives to swindle you for their own gain.”
Michael nodded. He had heard the stories about such people, women and men who had made their way into the good graces of a member of the nobility only to take what they could and run. People such as they were no better than a common thief.
Yet, could Jane be such a person? She had been so pleasant and understanding during their outing, but as he thought on it, he did find it odd how easily
the woman looked past his scars when anyone else would have been horrified by them. He did not want to believe she sought his wealth or his title, but there was no reason for her to look past his scars on his face. Nor the ones inside him for that matter.
No, Robert was right. Jane had to be watched closely, for if she did find a way to worm her way into his life, all she would have to do was wait for him to finally lose his mind. Then she would be able to rob him of everything he had and leave Samuel with nothing. He had to protect what was rightfully his, thus keeping safe what rightfully belonged to Samuel.
“Thank you, Brother. I will do as you suggest and do a better job of guarding myself. Now, let us discuss more pleasant things, like business.”
His brother smiled as he followed Michael to the desk and took the chair across from him. If Michael could keep his mind on business, then perhaps he would not think on Jane. Unfortunately, it was not as easy as he had hoped.
Chapter Ten
The slow current of the brook flowed over the rocks at a steady pace as Jane dipped the stocking in the cool water. As luck would have it, the sun had moved behind a bank of clouds, providing Jane with some much-needed shade. Having changed from her dress into one of burlap belonging to Anne, Jane found the fabric much more irritating than she remembered.
As Jane scratched at her arm, Anne let out a small laugh. “You’ve been away not even two months and already you’ve grown soft. Is your skin much too delicate for normal clothing now? Or should I give you back your lovely silk dress so you can finish the washing in that?”
Jane caught the playful tone of her cousin’s voice and laughed. “That is rubbish through and through,” she said with a sniff. “It is the heat from the sun that is causing my skin to itch.” She stood and placed the last of the washing in the basket.
“Well, aren’t you quick to defend yourself,” Anne said as she placed the basket on her hip. “Do you fancy yourself a Duchess now?”
“I am a governess and will never be anything more,” Jane replied, though the sing-song in Anne’s voice made Jane laugh again, and she gave her cousin a light push as they walked back to the house.
The two women headed to the line and Jane handed Anne a peg. She had shared some of her experience of her time at Wellesley Manor, but some she still kept to herself, just as she had promised she would.
“You still have told me little about the infamous Duke of Fire,” Anne said with a casualness Jane knew as not true. “Or do you hold some sort of affection for the man?”
“There is little more to say about him,” Jane replied as she attached a peg to one of David’s shirts. “My requirements include young Samuel; I have very little reason to interact with the Duke.”
Anne clicked her tongue. “Come now, cousin. Surely there is some tidbit you can share with me.”
Jane shook her head. “I’m sorry, cousin, but there is nothing to tell.”
Anne sighed. “Well, is there no handsome man to turn your head there? Maybe the Duke’s brother? I hear he is quite handsome.”
“Will you stop?” Jane said, doing her best to keep any heat from her words. “I have my responsibilities and that is where my energies are spent.”
Anne stopped and turned to Jane. “Does that mean you have decided against finding love? Surely you want to marry one day.”
Jane found herself biting at her lip. Although she still held reservations about the Duke, she had found his company quite enjoyable. Their outing earlier had brought about a peace inside her she had not felt in a long time. But love? Very unlikely.
“All right,” Anne said as she threw a stocking back into the basket, “enough with the secrets. I’ve always known when you’re keeping something from me, so who is he? The butler? No, men in that position are too stiff for you. Ah, I bet it’s a stable hand. They’re typically quite muscular and rather eye-catching.” She leaned down and picked up the stocking once again and pinned it to the line. “One way or another, I will learn the truth and you know it.”
Jane said nothing, unsure as to whether or not she should tell her about the outing she had taken with Michael. Granted, Samuel had been with them, but knowing Anne, the woman would have made a mountain out of a molehill.
Fortunately for her, she did not have to make a decision right then, for a rider appeared. The man dismounted, and though his clothes were well-made, she did not believe he was titled, although he did seem to have an arrogance about him as if he were.
“Oh, this should be interesting,” Anne said in a whisper. “What has David done this time?”
The man walked toward them. He had a handsome face and his blond hair moving in the wind might have appealed to most women. However, something about him set Jane on edge.
“Hello, Bernard,” Anne said as she picked up the now empty basket and rested it on her hip.
“Anne,” he replied with a slight nod. Then he turned to Jane and bowed. “Good day to you, Miss. My name is Bernard Chandly. And you are?”
“Miss Jane Harcourt,” she replied, unsure if she should curtsy. Anne certainly had not.
Bernard turned to Anne. “Has David returned yet?”
“No,” Anne replied curtly. “He isn’t due back until tomorrow. Is everything all right?”
He flicked a hand at her. “Oh, everything is fine,” he said with a heavy sigh that said that everything was not fine. “Will you let him know that I am needing to speak to him at once upon his return? It is a matter of business.”
“Of course,” Anne said. “Good day to you, Bernard.”
“Good day to you, Anne.” Then he turned and bowed to Jane. “I hope our paths cross again, Miss Harcourt,” he said. Then he took her hand in his and planted a wet kiss on her knuckles. It was difficult for Jane to not pull her hand away and wipe it on her skirts.
When the man was gone, Jane followed Anne back into the house. “What was that about?” she asked, her curiosity getting the better of her.
Anne snorted and shook her head. “Bernard fancies himself a businessman now. What those two are scheming about this time, I haven’t a clue, but if David gets us into debt, I’ll have his head.”
“I take it they have had more than one scheme that did not go well?”
“You could say that. Bernard was certainly taken with you, though. I’m sure that dress had much to do with it.”
Jane looked down and felt her cheeks burn. The dress was a size too small and emphasized her large bosom, showing more than she would have preferred, but Anne had always been smaller in stature and frame than she, so she was not surprised at the fit. It was not as if she thought anyone besides Anne would see her in it. Men tended to consider the outside of a woman to be much more important than what they had to offer on the inside, anyway.
“It matters not. I have no interest in the likes of him,” Jane said in reply.
Anne said nothing as she gazed at her, and then she took Jane’s hand in hers. “Follow me.”
Jane allowed her cousin to lead her back to the brook.
“Sit,” she commanded.
Jane did as she was told and sat beneath a large tree, watching the water’s flow. What words of wisdom could the woman be ready to deal out to her this time?
“I don’t understand you sometimes, Jane,” Anne admonished.
Jane gave her a hurtful look. “Excuse me? What do you mean?”
“You have been blessed in this world,” Anne explained. “You’re educated, able to read and write better than most. Your beauty drives men mad with passion and women with jealousy. Yet you throw away every opportunity at love that is thrown your way. Why is that?”
Jane let out a sigh. Did Anne truly believe that someone like Bernard would be a good catch? “The places where I have found employment, the men…” she started to say, but Anne spoke over her.
“I know of these men; you’ve told me of them often enough. But you don’t really believe that all men are like them, do you? Do you believe David is like them?”
“Of course not,” Jane replied with a sigh. “David is a kind and gentle soul.”
“Yet he cannot be the only one, can he? Surely there are more out in the world.”
Jane nodded as her mind went to the Duke. He was kind and gentle, despite what she had heard about him. There was still the issue of the death of his wife, and yet Jane refused to be confronted with that.
Anne narrowed her eyes. “Someone has caught your eye and somehow that bothers you. Am I correct in saying so?”
Jane sighed. “Yes,” she replied.
Anne took her hand. “You know you can tell me anything.”
“I do, but there are some things that cannot be told.”
“Trust me. I can keep your secrets; you know I can.”
Jane worried her lip with her teeth. Should she share with this woman who she had trusted her entire life? Anne had never revealed any of her secrets before, why did she struggle now? She had promised Michael that she would not share about him, but she did not promise she would not share about herself. If he became a central part of her life, could she still keep that from her closest friend? Maybe she could share the truth about the man without revealing who he was.
“He is a very nice man,” Jane said. “He is kind and gentle like David. But he also says things that I thought no man would ever say.”
Anne gasped “What is that? He had best not have been indecent or he will be forced to deal with me!”
Jane laughed. “Of course not. How can a man be kind and gentle and yet be indecent at the same time? No, he comments about my spirit or my kindness. I believe he sees beyond this,” she moved her hands to encompass her body. “We have connected beyond the outward, if that makes sense.” She sighed. “I hope I do not sound mad.”
Anne placed a hand on Jane’s arm. “It makes a lot of sense. It’s the first steps of a bond between two people, and it’s a beautiful thing.”
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