by Lucy Auburn
Her words sent a strange thrill through me. “Uh, thank you. I’m Selena by the way.”
“Selena. Such a pretty name.” She smiled, her mouth curved with knowing charm. “I’m Naomi. It’s a pleasure to meet you, Selena.”
“Uh, likewise.”
I knew that I sounded empty and hesitant, but I couldn’t help myself. There was something about this dark-haired, confident woman that made me feel like a teen girl again, trying to impress the most popular girl in school. Maybe some part of it was attraction; Naomi seemed like the sort of woman who could charm anyone with her smoky voice. But I didn’t have the confidence—or certainty about my sexual orientation—to flirt. So I just grabbed the glass in my clammy hand and took a delicate sip.
It was thick and bitter, strange with something that tasted like... herbs? Almost like a tea, if tea kicked you in the neck the whole way down. At first I wasn’t sure that I would like it, but as the chill liquid slid down my throat I felt a jolt of something strange, almost like satisfaction.
“Drink more,” Naomi encouraged, those dark eyes on me. “It’s just what you need. You’ll see.”
Unable to resist her voice, I knocked back a larger mouthful. As I did so, it occurred to me that I had no idea what I was drinking or who Naomi was—plus we were all alone in this room together. There could be anything in this drink and I wouldn’t know it, because I hadn’t watched her make it.
It hadn’t even crossed my mind to worry that another woman might drug me or worse. But as the drink hit my stomach and started to metabolize, I felt a warmth infuse me.
I couldn’t identify the feeling at first. So I took another sip. Naomi watched me, walking along the bookshelves with her fingers on their spines, murmuring the titles to herself as if she knew them all, even though so many were completely unfamiliar to me. As I drank more and more, until half the drink was gone, I realized what the feeling was that it gave me.
It filled the hole that had been inside me for years, the one that yearned and fucked and never felt fully satisfied. More than even the best sex I’d ever had, more than love or friendship or the stiffest drink I’d sipped, this strange and herb-y brew went to that dark spot and patched it over. The feeling of desire inside me was replaced with a peaceful kind of satisfaction. It was such an unfamiliar feeling that I only realized after I’d had a taste of it that I’d been wanting and hungry for a long, long time.
I hadn’t even known that the emptiness inside me could be filled; I’d thought it was there because of my parents’ death, and that it was why I couldn’t seem to settle down, stick to a major, and graduate. But as I drank the strange infusion of liquor, herbs, and something I couldn’t quite identify, it occurred to me that maybe there was another reason for the empty space. Maybe it was something that was just a part of me, and always would be.
“Well?” Cocking her head at me, Naomi watched as I finished off her drink. “Was I right—is that what you needed?”
“How did you know?”
Setting down her own drink on the pool table, she reached out and took my empty glass from my hand, putting it beside hers. “I saw it the moment I looked at you. You’re hungry—famished, even. You haven’t been taking care of yourself, have you? What a dangerous thing for a Suck to do.”
Puzzled, I tried to figure out her words. Suck? Was that some strange new slang term for student? Or did she think I was a lesbian, and I was going to suck... a white-hot blush climbed up my cheeks, even as she leaned in close and put her fingers on the spot where my neck met my collarbone.
“What are you doing?” I asked, even though I knew. Even though it was the first thing I’d thought of when I saw her standing in this room, shrouded in mystery.
“I’m kissing you,” she said, her voice tinged with lust. “We wouldn’t want you starving yourself to the point of madness, after all.”
Again, I didn’t understand her words, but when she put her other hand on my hip and brought us close together I didn’t care. Suddenly I felt under-dressed, wondering if she’d notice and judge the athleisure wear of my top, which had never been a problem with the frat boys. Did women care about these things? Would they kiss you even if you were less pretty in them? Was I stuck so far up my head that I was panicking?
Naomi said, “Breathe,” and I relaxed, my eyes fluttering closed, my muscles no longer clenching. As I did so, she ate up the distance between up and pressed her lips against mine.
At first I wasn’t sure what to do, so I froze. But then I tasted a hint of that strange brew she’d made me and found myself searching for more of it, my mouth opening up against hers. I tilted my head and brought my hand up to caress the side of her neck.
Her lips were so soft; there was no stubble or even a hint of it around her mouth, unlike kissing a man. I felt like I could sink into her for hours without even noticing that time had passed. When she deepened and roughed the kiss, pressing me back towards the pool table with her hips, I moaned into her open mouth.
So, yeah. Maybe I wasn’t as straight as I’d expected.
Just when things were getting hot and heavy—and I was starting to panic a little, because I didn’t know what came next—a sound pulled me out of our kiss, my head whipping towards the door.
It was a scream.
“I heard it too,” Naomi said, frowning and stepping back from me. She sounded a little winded, which only deepened the embarrassed blush going from my cheeks to my neck.
Just when I was wondering what the hell to say to her about this—like hey, that kiss was great but it was my first from a woman—the scream sounded out again, and this time it was so familiar that panic pierced me.
I knew that voice.
“Talia!”
Chapter Two
I ran towards the sound of the screams, which had gone suddenly quiet in a way that chilled me. Out in the main room where most of the party-goers congregated, an awkward fear had settled over the drunk and tipsy. Many were now making their way out the back door, speculating in frightened voices about what was going on. “Did you hear a gunshot?” “No, just screaming.” “Someone should go look, right?” “Todd went. He’ll take care of it.”
Their cowardice enraged me, but I pushed through them and towards the source of the scream. It wasn’t hard to figure out; most of the crowd was headed away from the danger, with only a few going towards it, all hesitant. I rushed through them easily, pushing open the swinging doors into the kitchen.
“Talia!” She was standing in the corner with her back to me, a kitchen island covered in empty beers cans between me and her. “Talia, what’s wrong?”
I rushed over towards her, startled to realize she was standing over someone. It was Todd, one of the more prominent members of the frat and a football player. He curled up on the ground in front of her, eyes wide with fear, clutching his arm.
I looked at Talia again, and something about her sent shivers down my back. When she turned to me her eyes were black and alien. Backing away, I swallowed a scream. “Talia? What happened?”
Todd was the one who answered, in a frightened and affronted voice. “She stabbed me!”
Startled, I took a closer look at Talia and saw the knife in her left hand. Reaching out, I gently took her arm and murmured, “Talia, babe, whatever happened it’s okay now. I’m here. You can drop the knife.”
Instead of responding in my Talia’s voice, she bared her teeth at me and growled. I stepped back, startled and afraid at this new thing that was inside my friend, maybe the whole time I knew her. She advanced on me with the bloody knife in her hand, and I had no idea what she was going to do with it. The kitchen door opened and closed as several people started to come in and help—then just as abruptly left when they saw what they were up against.
“Talia, please.” I felt like I was talking around a lump in my throat from heartbreak. “Don’t do this.”
I didn’t have any other ideas, so with a courage I hadn’t known I possessed I reached out and grabbed
Talia arm with one hand. With the other hand I extracted the dagger from her grip, prying it loose from her surprisingly strong fingers.
She screeched, the sound so unnatural and violent that it froze my blood in my veins. Just when I was sure she was about to pounce on me and beat me to death, the doors to the kitchen swung open and someone vaulted past me, right into Talia’s path.
Dark hair. A sultry dress. Lithe, muscular shoulders. Naomi.
Screeching again, Talia ran past me out the back door, straight into the night. Naomi followed her, a fierce look on her face that was entirely new. The knife was still in my hand, covered in Todd’s blood. Disgusted, I dropped it and looked over at Todd, who was still crouched on the floor. “Sorry,” I said, not knowing if I was apologizing for my best friend or just—everything.
I didn’t know what to do but I knew one thing: I wasn’t going to abandon my best friend. So I followed them, my legs shaking as I stumbled out into the darkness, leaving Todd behind me in the kitchen clutching his wounded arm.
As I chased after Naomi, who chased after Talia, it occurred to me that I’d never been more glad in my life that I wasn’t the heel-wearing kind of girl. Despite their tight dresses and slinky shoes, my best friend and the first woman I’d ever kissed were fast runners—almost too fast. I couldn’t keep up with them, but I saw where they were going as they vanished into the trees, and made it my mission to get there no matter what. My chest burned as I pushed myself to run as fast as possible, and I made an inward promise to start doing real cardio and not just yoga from now on. A girl had to be prepared, apparently.
I heard voices in the trees and followed them. Talia was screeching and hissing, the sounds so disturbing they sent shivers down my spine. Naomi was muttering in a language I didn’t understand but that sounded vaguely like Russian or Polish to my uncultured ears. Eyes adjusting to the dark, I saw where they were standing, circling each other in a tense and strange standoff.
It occurred to me that I had no idea what I was doing here and was probably about to get stabbed just like poor Todd. But I couldn’t keep myself away; walking slowly through the forest, trying not to get their attention, I got close enough to see them both and tried to figure out what the hell I was going to do next.
“You’re a greasy thing,” Naomi muttered, “and that body isn’t yours. Get the hell out of it before I make you.”
In a creepy voice that sounded nothing like Talia, my best friend said, “No.”
“Have it your way then.”
Lifting her right arm, Naomi whipped her hand back and revealed what she was holding: a black dagger. Talia retreated until her back hit a tree as Naomi advanced on her. Eyes widening, I surged forward—to do what, I didn’t know—as she grasped the dagger at its hilt and pounced on Talia. With a scream, Talia held up hands that looked more like talons and tried to fight the black-haired woman, but it was no use. The dagger sunk into her skin like she was made from butter.
“No!” I screamed and ran towards them, tripping and falling on a tree root in the dark. The dirt was rough and cool beneath my hands as I pushed myself up onto my hands and knees, staring up transfixed at the scene before me. “Please, Talia, no.”
Whipping her head back towards me, Naomi frowned and pulled her arm—and the dagger—back. Talia’s body slumped and she slid down the tree, her back to it. “You shouldn’t be here if you’re going to make a fuss about a little exorcism.”
“What?”
“Do they teach you sucks nothing these days?” Irritated, Naomi lifted the skirt of her dress and shoved the dagger into a sheath strapped around her pale white thigh. “Your friend is fine. As fine as a demon-possessed mortal can be. Go look for yourself.”
Heart thundering, I hurried forward and knelt in front of Talia’s prone form. My hands found her chest, where she’d been stabbed, and—no, it wasn’t possible. Searching for blood, I found none, and wondered if I was hallucinating. Maybe Naomi did drug me after all.
Behind us, there was a scream from the house, but I was too preoccupied to even think about that yet. Talia was rousing, her eyes fluttering open, groaning as she sat up. This time, she spoke in a normal voice, her irises their usual brown instead of nightmare black. “Selena? What happened?”
Glancing up at Naomi, I said, “I have no idea.”
Just then a girl ran out of the kitchen into the grass and vomited noisily. Sobbing, she screamed, “He’s dead! Oh my god, Todd is dead!”
Naomi rushed towards the house at her words, not even glancing back towards me and my best friend. Talia reached up and grabbed my shoulders, and even in the dark I could see the fear in her eyes.
“What’s going on? Selena, I’m so afraid.” Tears spilled down her face, and my heart broke for her. She didn’t even seem to know what she’d done.
“C’mon, let’s get you out of here.” Grabbing her, I hauled my best friend up to her feet and supported her weight—then paused. Did we go back to the house yet, where people were apparently stabbing each other to death? Or home to the apartment, never to see Naomi and her mysterious black dagger again?
Before I could decide, a police car swerved to a stop right in front of the house. Officers streamed out of their cars, and a bright light shone down on me as they pointed their flood lights right at this. Freezing, I raised my free hand and tried to look as harmless as possible.
“Freeze!” Rushing towards us, two of the officers separated me from Talia, who cried out in protest. One of the officers grabbed Talia and roughly cuffed her. “You’re under arrest. You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can be held against you in a court of law. Let’s go.”
The same words apparently applied to me, because the second officer grabbed my arms. My arms screamed with pain as the officer pulled my hands behind my back and cuffed me, but I didn’t resist. It all felt like the perfect ending for the worst night of my life.
“Selena!” I watched as my best friend was carted away, tears streaming down her face.
“Don’t worry Talia,” I called out after her. “We’ll figure this out.”
“Move.” Grabbing me, the officer pulled me towards the open doors of a squad car, and put me in the back. I wanted to ask why I was being arrested, but was too scared—until the question was answered for me. “You’re being brought in for questioning in connection to the murder of Theodore Smith II.”
That was Todd, of course. As the squad car door was slammed shut behind me, I stared out the window at all the tipsy party-goers who were quickly sobering up. More than one of them was being questioned by the police, and I wondered: how many of them saw Talia’s black eyes, and the bloody knife in her hand? And if we were outside in the woods, who was inside killing Todd? The slash on his arm hadn’t been enough to kill him.
It all felt too impossible to even contemplate—and my shoulders burned from the pain of having my arms pulled behind me. So I closed my eyes and sent up a little prayer that somewhere out there, my foster mother was ready to fix this latest mess I’d somehow gotten myself involved in.
Little did I know this was all just the beginning of everything I’d ever known about myself—and the world—crashing down around me in a blaze of destruction.
Chapter Three
The apartment Talia and I shared felt empty without her. The police had released me without too much fuss; it turned out my best friend was the one they wanted, which became clear after they questioned me. And boy, what a questioning it had been.
While we’d been arrested by regular uniformed officers, the detective who questioned me was anything but ordinary. He had a chiseled, handsome face and just a light dusting of stubble that was barely visible in the stark overhead lighting of the interrogation room they’d put me in. His dirty blond hair was thick and lightly tousled, complimenting the bright blue eyes that stared at me intently. Though a uniformed officer stood in the corner in the room, it was clear that the detective who walked in and met my eyes didn’t need any real backup
at all. He took over the questioning with a single-minded focus.
He’d introduced himself as Detective Leon Hardwick in a gruff voice before taking the seat opposite me and staring deep into my eyes in a way that was breathtakingly intimidating. His badge was on a thin chain lanyard around his neck, hanging against his chest. He wore a light blue button up shirt that set off his eyes, and a dark leather jacket that only served to make him that much more alluring—at least, if he hadn’t been intently questioning me about a murder like he thought I was the one who did it, or was covering for someone who did.
“Your fingerprints were on the knife,” the cop told me, his face hard. “Why was that?”
“When I came into the kitchen, she was out of it. She was holding the knife. I took it from her.”
His expression intensified. “Was there blood on the knife?”
It felt like a betrayal to admit it, but I didn’t know how to lie to the cops. “There was. Something had happened before I came in. I only showed up because I heard her scream.” Telling him about Talia’s dark eyes or the way she screeched and hissed at me didn’t seem like a good idea. “She was holding the knife when I got there. I didn’t see what happened before.”
“So you didn’t see Talia Freeman stab the victim?” the officer asked me, leaning across the table with a dark glint of suspicion in his eyes. “Are you sure about that?”
“Yes, I am.” My throat felt dry, but I’d already finished off the first bottle of water they gave me. “All I saw was that she was holding a knife. And Todd seemed fine. By the time anything happened we were out in the woods.”
“Doing what?”
Tongue stuck to the top of my mouth, I clammed up. “We were, uh, getting some fresh air.”
The cop hadn’t believed this. “You were getting fresh air? And here I thought college kids went to parties to drink and hookup.”