by Lucy Auburn
Talia made a face at that. “It’s weird to hear you talk about things like that. Feeding off people.”
It was weird to me too, but the look on Talia’s face was new. She almost seemed disgusted at the thought—and I knew it wasn’t because Naomi was a woman. It was because I was fae.
She was just getting used to the news, I told myself. It was a lot to take in; she’d only just found out I was a succubus. I towed it to her to give her time. We’d both been through a lot this week.
To distract myself from my best friend’s disappointing reaction to my new powers, I buried myself in packing. Before I knew it almost an hour had passed, and I was ready to go. Talia sprawled across the living room couch, having turned on the TV to binge watch a few programs. Like me she’d pulled out of classes—but unlike me she was getting to redo her finals, because of her extenuating circumstances.
“I guess this is it,” I said, taking out my phone to text Maggie and let her know I was on my way. “Can you help me carry these boxes out to the car?”
“Sure thing.”
Talia smiled at me as she helped me take my things out, but I could sense that there was something off still. A little part of her was missing—a part that, maybe, had been left behind her in the prison.
But she would come back, I reasoned to myself. As we shared a somehow disappointing hug, I closed my eyes and imagined what our lives would be like a year from now: close to graduation, the best of friends. Me a fae, and somehow in control of my powers, with an engagement to a hot fae soldier. Her right beside me, her parents beaming with pride as she walked across that stage to get her degree, Maggie right beside them.
The only thing missing from my dream were my birth parents.
“I’ll see you soon,” I told Talia as I stepped back from our hug. “Don’t get arrested again while I’m gone, okay?”
Talia laughed, but it rang hollow. “If I do, you’ll help get me out, won’t you?”
“You can count on it. I’d seduce every person on this planet if I had to.”
She smiled a fake smile. “Those powers of yours sure do come in handy.”
I watched her in my rear view mirror as I drove away, heart in my stomach.
If I’d known then what I was driving towards I would’ve turned my car around and driven it far, far away.
Chapter Twenty-Three
That night, back in Maggie’s house, I spread the letters from my parents out on my bed and read them one by one. My fingers trembled as I picked each letter up and read their last words to me, written every year on my birthday.
As I hold you in my hands, I realize that I’ve never fallen this deeply in love with a girl before—except, of course, the day I met your mother. There’s nothing quite like that look in your eyes when you stare up at me and smile. What I want more than anything in this world is to keep that smile on your face for as long as possible. It’s a mean world out there, Selena, but we’re going to try to give you the best life possible. I hope that you…
...couldn’t possibly have predicted that you would grow so fast. Your father and I can’t even keep up with you! You’re eating us out of house and home. And it’s not just your outsides that are growing. Your powers are growing too. I can tell every time I lay the spell down on your that they’re outpacing our ability to keep them inside—and keep you safe from their overwhelming strength.
...growing up so fast. Today I taught you how to catch a ball…
...just the other day you were caught red-handed with my lipstick! I scolded you, but later I laughed. The woman you’ll become by the time you read this letter will no doubt appreciate how funny it was to see you with that red lipstick smear across half your chin, fiercely insisting you didn’t put your little fingers in my makeup box…
Some days, I think we made the wrong choice. When you were put into our arms, we were just so happy to have you that it didn’t even occur to us to question things. But the older you become the more I think we made a mistake. Maybe we should have raised you with the knowledge of what you are.
...it was frightening, Jelly Bean. I think they wanted to take you from us. That’s why we moved, even though it broke your heart. You’ll understand when you’re older that there are people out there who want to use someone like you. We met up with a protection witch here in Baton Rouge from our old coven. She was able to show us new spells to keep you safe. She agreed to take you if anything should ever happen to us, which is a balm to my soul. The last thing I want is for you to be alone in this world.
I swear on all the gods I’ve ever believed in that I won’t let anyone take you away, even if it means giving up my life. I hope that your father and I get to see you graduate from high school, then college, then get married. But know even if we don’t, it was worth every sacrifice we made just to have you for all these years. You’re my everything.
I don’t know who your birth parents are, but whoever they are, they lost out on one of the greatest little girls in the world. I’m so thankful to them for giving you up—but I also wonder every day how they could’ve looked down on that sweet face and walked away. The other day you…
Your powers are incredible, Sweet Pea. There’s nothing like them in this world. I can tell already that you’re going to grow up into something great. I’m no fae, so I don’t know how much my advice is worth. But I do know one thing: as long as you use your abilities for good, you’ll be on the right path.
By the time I was done with all the letters there were tears streaming down my face. It was late, and I was due to head out for the Collective with Maggie early the next morning. They’d written so many loving words to me, describing my childhood antics as if they were precious gold. Seeing what they’d written, I was soothed by the knowledge that they were never afraid of me, even when they laid the spells to bind my powers up. Both of them knew exactly what they’d gotten into the day that they took me home, and they accepted that responsibility gratefully.
And maybe even died for it.
Because my mother had written more and more in her letters that she was afraid. Apparently the reason why we’d moved from San Antonio to Baton Rouge had been because of the men who arrived at my school one day and tried to take me. I remembered the incident only as something strange and almost surreal; my teacher had found them cornering me in the restroom when I screamed.
But they weren’t just random men. It was me that they were after, because they knew that I was fae. And it frightened my mother more than anything I could’ve imagined ever frightening her. As an adult looking back on it, I realized just exactly how close I’d come to never seeing my parents again.
Slowly, I folded the letters away, put them in a box under my bed, and tried to go to sleep. But I was kept up the whole night with dreams of them—and of the kidnapping.
For the first time since I lost them, it occurred to me that the car accident that killed them might not have been an accident at all.
Maggie woke me up early. No doubt she had known the moment I had taken the letters from her the night before that I was going to stay up all night reading them.
“I made you an extra cup of coffee,” she said, her voice disgustingly cheery given how early it was. “Petyr told me that Leon is an early riser, so if you’re going to apprentice under him you should set more than one alarm.”
I had, of course, snoozed to death the one I’d set.
The night before, as I moved in, I’d had a burning question for her. “How exactly am I going to get to work in the police precinct? I’m not a cop, after all.”
“The police commissioner is a fae.” That, apparently, explained everything sufficiently. “Just don’t change your major again. You’re officially studying Criminology until you graduate.”
Apparently that choice was no longer in my fickle hands.
Maggie drove me to the Collective. I was supposed to shadow with Leon all day, which meant he would drive me in his squad car. She didn’t seem to mind giving me a ride; appa
rently she was looking forward to checking out the books in Petyr’s office. I listened to her talk about the spells she was going to research while I drank my coffee in the passenger seat of her car, staring out the window.
An apprentice. That’s what I was going to be—a medieval intern, basically. It was hard to imagine the hardass detective I’d met teaching me anything, but it had become abundantly clear that I had no other choice.
Besides, getting to use my power on people with Naomi had been thrilling. Maybe this would be more of the same. Idly, I wondered where the dark hunter was. We’d traded cell phone numbers, but she’d warned me to only use hers if I saw a demon possession in progress, or something else supernatural.
“Text me about the last show you saw on Netflix and I’ll flip,” she’d warned, that steely look in her brown and gold eyes. “Having my number is a privilege, not a right.”
She worked with the police from time to time, bringing in leads and working cases as a consultant. Maybe I would see her at the precinct while I was shadowing Leon.
We pulled up to the Collective, and I downed the rest of my coffee. The caffeine hit my veins with a jolt. Maggie turned the car engine off and looked over at me. “Ready?”
“Not really. But I have to do it anyway, don’t I?”
“Welcome to being an adult.”
She left the car and headed up the steps without waiting for me. I grabbed my I.D. and quickly followed, knowing that I would get lost in the labyrinth of hallways inside if not for her. As we walked down a familiar turn, I remembered something. “I’m supposed to see Tae Min for an appointment soon. Is that still on?”
“As far as I know. Have you been doing what he asked, and taking your temperature every morning?”
“Mostly,” I admitted guiltily. “I’ve been a little distracted.”
“Well, try to do better. Dr. Lee knows what he’s doing when it comes to fae. He’s studied your biology.” She stopped in front of one of the doors to a private office. “Here’s where you’re going for today. Leon will drive you home. See you tonight, Silly!”
“See you.”
After she left I stared at the door for a long moment, putting off going inside for as long as possible. Finally, I’d been standing there long enough that it was getting weird.
So I knocked. And waited. Then knocked louder—and realized I was going to be standing here a long time if I waited for the door to open. Hesitantly, I tried the knob and found the door unlocked.
“Hello?” Cautiously, I stepped into the office, my ears greeted by the low thrum of peaceful music. “Detective?”
“I’m meditating.”
As I opened the door all the way I saw him sitting there, legs crossed, in the middle of the room with his shirt off. His chest was a ripple of glorious muscles. Heat went to my cheeks immediately. Cutting my eyes away, I stepped to the side and let the door swing shut behind me.
“Sorry,” I mumbled. “Didn’t mean to interrupt your meditation.”
He peeked open one of those intense blue eyes, staring up at me with something like irritation on his face. “I was almost done anyway. We might as well get a start on your lessons.”
To my relief—and disappointment—he stood up and put on a shirt that he’d casually tossed on his desk. Then he reached over and paused the music, which had been playing out of the set of speakers on his desk.
I took the moment to study him, seeing a new side of a man I’d only ever seen in uniform. Without the authority of his station behind him—and outside of an interrogation room—he looked much younger and more relaxed. His dirty blond hair was casually tossed in a messy style, and his plain cotton T-shirt stretched over taught muscles.
The office he had here in the Collective was large, neat, and sparsely decorated. The tinkling fountain on his bookshelf sat next to a bonsai tree, both suggesting he appreciated serenity and peace.
“Put your things down over there.” Leon motioned towards a chair pushed to the corner of his office. “We’re going to work on your self-control today.”
Not even a hello. I supposed that was what I should come to expect from my new teacher. I peeled my coat off and put it on the indicated chair next to my purse, then grabbed my hair and twisted it up into a short bun on top of my head. Then I waited, watching as Leon rummaged through his desk for a manila folder.
“Are we going to go out into the field today?” I asked, glancing at his desk. “The other day I used my powers to help Naomi. I think if I could do that more often—”
“Self-control first,” he interrupted me. “Then, when I’m reasonably certain you can keep your baser instincts in check, we’ll move on to field work. When is the last time you fed?”
I stared at him. “What?”
“Have you had sex lately?”
The matter-of-fact tone in his voice did nothing to keep me from feeling immensely embarrassed. “I went to the Realm of Light with Petyr yesterday, and they gave me some concoction made out of tree sap that’s supposed to keep me from feeling hungry for a week.”
He raised his brows at that. “An Eckada tree sacrificed some of its energy for you? The Elders must be invested in your success.”
I wasn’t sure exactly what he meant by those words, so I didn’t respond. “They also found someone for me to get engaged to.”
“The blackfyre knight. Petyr told me as much. Hopefully he’ll be able to keep up with your sexual appetite.”
He strode around his desk to stand in front of me, squaring off to face me from just a foot away. His words about my supposed “sexual appetite” rang in my head as he reached out to put his hands on my shoulders.
“Shoulders level,” he instructed me. “Feet at shoulders’ width. Take a deep breath, and count to three before letting it out.” I did so, uncomfortably aware of the heat of his body. The hunger inside me was gone, but that didn’t mean I was dead to the attractive man reaching out to adjust the angle of my head. “Head straight. Neck relaxed. We’ll start in a standing position.”
Leon reached over to play the music again, and led me through a series of breathing exercises. He also had me stretch my arms and neck slowly, bringing me through a range of motions until my blood was flowing and I could practically feel the caffeine travelling through my veins. All the while his confident and deep voice led me, his hands reaching out every once and a while to correct my posture with a light but insistent touch.
He was soothing, surprisingly. Unlike the time we met in the interrogation room, this was a completely different side of Detective Leon Hardwick. I understood now what Petyr meant about him being a good teacher. No doubt his single-minded focus came in handy when he was hunting down murderers in his job at the precinct.
An hour had passed before he was done teaching me how to warm up, breath slowly, stretch, and finally meditate. He coached me with his voice through a series of concentration exercises, having me imagine a black dot in the middle of a vast sea of white and focus on it while he tried to distract me by snapping his fingers near my ear.
“You have to be able to concentrate well if you’re going to use your powers without harming someone,” he told me, when I’d lost my concentration for the third time and opened my eyes at his aggravating snap. “It’s not just a matter of keeping yourself fed by becoming engaged to a fae. If you’re going to apprentice under me, you’ll need to be able to use your powers on cases.”
“Do you use your powers often?” I asked him, in a lull between exercises.
“It’s part of my job to hunt down fae murderers and other supernatural bad guys. I have to use my powers pretty often. If I didn’t have self-control I wouldn’t be able to do my job.”
Biting my lip, I hesitantly asked him, “Could I see them? Your powers, I mean.”
“All in due time.” Leon Hardwick was a tease. He must have sensed my frustration, because he added, “After this, I’ll have you sit in on an interrogation. You’ve done well so far—especially for someone just starting
out. If you’re lucky I’ll let you use your powers on a dragon fae I have in custody.”
That brightened my up considerably. “Really?”
“Really. Just prove to me that you can concentrate. Close your eyes and focus on the black dot. This time, don’t open your eyes when I snap.”
Now that I had something to look forward to, it was much easier to focus on the task at hand. I was determined to prove to Leon I could do this—and to prove it to myself, too.
Chapter Twenty-Four
“And so you just happened to find these jewels?” Leon leaned forward and narrowed his eyes at the dragon fae man, Yrdra. “What a coincidence.”
The dragon fae, for his part, just spread his hands in a what-can-you-do gesture. He looked totally relaxed—and not at all as nervous as I’d felt when I was being interrogated by Leon.
“Look man,” he said, “we both know that according to fae law, you can only hold me without charges or a confession for twelve hours. I can afford to run that clock down.”
“You sure do know a lot about the law for an innocent man.”
“It pays to be educated.”
Leon glanced up at me, and I could see the gears turning in his head. “Fine, so you won’t confess that you stole those jewels from your brother’s safety deposit box. But I’m willing to bet that my associate over here can get you to talk.”
At first I wasn’t sure he was serious. Despite my position in the corner of the interrogation room, I found myself looking around for someone else he could’ve been talking about. “Really? You’re sure?”
“Don’t make me change my mind,” Leon growled, his patience clearly wearing thin.
“No, no, don’t! I’ve got it.” I practically bounced over to the table in the middle of the room, I was so excited to get to use my powers for something useful again. “I can do this.”
Yrdra raised a doubtful eyebrow at me, a cocky smile curling his lips. “You sure about that, little fae?”