Forever More

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Forever More Page 22

by Rachel De Lune


  “Carry me to the bedroom,” I mumble between kisses. He lifts me and I wrap my legs around his waist. He sits me down on the bed, but waits for what I instruct. “Undress, Seb. I want you, I don’t want…”

  “Shh. Not going to happen.” He sheds his shirt and jeans as I slip out of my dress. He’s pulling me back on top of him before I know it. Now there is nothing between us, and his thick erection is waiting for me to sink down onto it. I lean over him to re-capture his lips, and at the same time, I wrap my hand around his cock and slide his head to my entrance before sitting back down on him. I lower myself slowly, taking him inside me. My hands press against his pecs as I rock back and forth, seeking that delicious friction against my clit. My eyes drift to his stomach, his muscles taut with tension as I speed my pace. I spread my legs wider and lean back, making sure that I take every inch of him.

  I groan out at the pleasure sparking through my body. His hands have stayed away from me, but I miss them. I want to reach the places that Seb takes us when we’re together—the abundance of pleasure and passion that can’t be contained by either one of us.

  “Touch me, Seb. Please. Touch my clit. Make me come.”

  “Fuck, yes.” Seb’s curse makes me smile in triumph. His thumb moves to my clit and he runs the pad over the swollen nub. A wave of heat rolls through me and my head goes slack. I want what we had back. As good as this is, there is something missing between us.

  Seb’s thumb presses harder against my flesh and spikes my pulse, his gaze insistent upon me. My hips work in time with his thumb and I’m racing towards my orgasm. My body tenses as I reach the edge. All I need is a few more stokes, a few more thrusts, and I’ll come apart. “Please, Seb. Just a little bit more…” He flicks at my clit and that’s all I need. My body contracts around him, making me shudder and arch my back, grinding down harder onto his cock. As I come, Seb follows, his jaw tensing and straining as his body releases.

  I slump down against him and match my deep breaths to the rise and fall of his chest. “Mmm, thank you.”

  “You’re more than welcome, Izzy.”

  I take advantage of the evening light and meet Jess for a drink after work. Spring is arriving, slowly. The hope of a warm summer isn’t far off.

  “Hey, you. I’ve ordered gin and tonics.” Jess has an outside table at one of the bistros in town.

  “Thanks.” I sit and sip my favourite drink.

  “Izzy, are you alright? You look… tired.” Her eyes hold the concern that’s in her voice. She’s been like this since I stayed with her—always checking, always asking. She’s avoided telling me I don’t look great until today.

  “It’s alright. I’m not sleeping particularly well at the moment. I’ll try and catch up at the weekend.”

  “Still bad? How are things with Seb?” She reaches for my hand and I appreciate the comfort.

  “I’m just… I’m frustrated and confused. I wanted us to have a break. To live and be in a relationship without the Dominance and submission stuff. I thought that was what I wanted. But now…” I reach for my drink and take a long sip.

  “You’re not sure anymore?”

  “I miss it. I miss the connection that it gives us. It’s like we’re stronger, more together when we play.”

  “So just tell Seb, or give it time, but don’t shut Seb out. Perhaps you should speak to someone?”

  “What, like a counsellor?”

  “Yes, did you ever speak to anyone about what happened to you? I know that he didn’t actually… you know, but he physically assaulted you.” I finish my drink, thinking over her advice. I haven’t talked to anyone. Maybe it would be good for me.

  “I’ll think about it. I’ll call you later in the week.” I get up and rummage in my bag for my wallet.

  “No, don’t worry. These are on me.”

  “You sure?”

  “Yes, you buy next time.”

  “Okay, thanks, hun.” I give Jess a quick hug and make my way back to the office to pick up my car.

  It’s past eight before I slide my key into the door to Seb’s apartment.

  “I’m home,” I call, already knowing that he’ll be in the kitchen. I walk through and find him sitting at the breakfast bar with his iPad in front of him. He turns as I come into the room and gives me his sexy smile as my welcome.

  “Good day?”

  “Not bad. You?”

  “Better now you’re home. I want us to spend some time together. First, I want you relaxed.”

  “Relaxed?”

  “Yes. I’ll run you a bath. You relax.”

  “Deal.”

  Tonight is the fourth night in a row that I’ve been home late, so spending some time with Seb sounds great.

  “I’ll even rub your shoulders, take some of that stress away.”

  “I don’t deserve you.”

  “Yes, you do. Go and get undressed and I’ll set it running.” I do as I’m told and head off to the bedroom.

  I feel like a shell of the woman I was only a few weeks ago. I’ve fallen into a routine and I don’t want it to continue. The divorce is all but finalised, Seb’s shown me that we are more than just a couple in a D/s relationship. I want to feel that special tie between us, where I was so caught up in him that nothing else mattered. I wrap my robe around me, trying to pull myself together with its tie, and walk over to the bathroom.

  Steam and citrus mist the air and I breathe in the comforting aroma.

  “Tie your hair up.” Seb perches on the edge of the bath, shirt sleeves rolled to the elbow, making for a very sexy sight. I slip the robe from my shoulders and step into the bubbles. It’s exactly what I need. The warmth seeps into my muscles, unknotting the tension as it travels through my body. I sink back and sigh with pleasure.

  “Good?” Seb’s velvet voice is at my ear, his lips a hair’s breadth away from my ear.

  “Wonderful, thank you.”

  “Sit up and let me rub your shoulders.” I lean forward and wrap my arms around my knees, finding a comfortable position that will allow Seb the access he needs.

  “Just relax.” He starts by simply placing his hands on my shoulders, making sure I’m expecting his touch. He strokes down my shoulders before running a firmer touch from the base of my skull down between my shoulder blades. The pressure melts through my tension and sends tranquillity through my body. It’s bliss. Seb continues working his magical fingers across my skin for another few minutes until I’m so relaxed I can barely hold my head up. “Ready to get out?”

  “Hmm,” I respond, content with drifting in this hazy state.

  “Out you get. I’d like us to talk, just spend some time together.”

  “That would be nice.” Seb holds up a bath towel for me to step into. I pull it around myself before Seb pulls me to him.

  “Go and get your hair brush and join me in the front room.” I smile into his chest. I love it when he plays with my hair. I obediently head into our room to retrieve my brush. He’s sitting in his chair with a cushion by his feet. He knows I like this, that I feel content being close to him and sitting with him. It feels like a lifetime since I was last seated at his feet. Here, I have the space and the reassurance to speak to him.

  Seb’s positioned the cushion so that I can lean against his leg. I hand him the brush and lower myself to the floor. He shifts, moving his body forward so he can continue to pamper me. Seb’s fingers work the tie from my hair, spilling my brunette tresses down my back. He places the brush at the crown of my head and gently tugs it through, carefully un-knotting the strands.

  “How are you feeling?”

  “Good. You know I love you playing with my hair.”

  “I know. Comfortable?”

  “Yes, I could fall asleep if you’re not careful.” I absolutely would. My eyelids grow lazy with every brush stroke.

  “Before you fall asleep, I want you to talk to me. Tell me how you are feeling about us, about what’s happened over the last few weeks. You wanted to leave the D
/s out of the relationship. How do you feel now?”

  Sitting here like this, I feel I can open up to him.

  “I was pleased that you did that for me—gave up something so important to you—or rather a part of you, for me. For me, I needed things to slow down. I needed time.”

  “And now?”

  “I miss it. It’s fun being with you, you know, in a vanilla way. We play, like the other night. But…”

  “Something is missing.”

  “Yes.” Seb echoes my own feelings. “I gave you my submission freely. I love everything that you do to me, but Phil made me feel vulnerable and afraid and I hate him. I don’t want to feel like that. I only want to feel you and your touch. Your command. But there is a shadow of him in my memory and I can’t shake it.” Seb’s rhythmic strokes keep me focused on the now, sitting at his feet.

  “The sub always has the control, Izzy. You say no, or black, that’s it. Your submission is a gift, but I can only hold it for as long as you allow it. You have the power. I miss you and I know you miss us as well.” He stops brushing my hair and pulls me onto his lap. I open my eyes and look at him. He holds my gaze and waits.

  “I love you, Seb.”

  “I love you, sweetheart.”

  “Can we take it slowly? I want to get back to what we had before. I don’t want to be afraid.”

  “We’ll take it at your pace. Remember, you’re in control.” His eyes roam over my face and I can see them dropping to my lips. I part them in invitation and he takes it. As his mouth plunders mine, his hands lock my wrists in place behind me. His lips grow more urgent, more forceful, and I moan into our kiss. With his free hand he holds my neck keeping me hostage to his desires.

  I miss being able to lose myself in his hands, to feel what he wants me to feel—the bite of his teeth, the smack of the flogger or the sting of his palm. Safe in his arms, I relax and feel my body melt into his hold.

  “Don’t move,” he whispers across my lips. He lifts me from his lap and sits me on the sofa. Firm hands press my legs wide, spreading myself for him. His hands continue to trail down my legs and clasp my ankles. My body flinches, automatically fighting his grasp. His hold remains firm and adrenaline spikes, setting my heart pounding in my chest.

  “Seb,” I cry out, fear already drowning my desire. “Not my ankles. He…” Seb releases his hold and picks me back up.

  “Shh, shh. We’ll work up through the parts you have a bad response. You want to try, though?”

  “Yes, I’m sorry.” I bury myself against his chest. “Everything before the ankles was good.”

  “Okay. We’ll get there, sweetheart.”

  After my mini freak-out, the sexual strain has started to show between us. I’ve been working longer hours and Seb has several trips away coming up. He’s avoided spending any time away over the last few weeks, but he can’t keep putting them off.

  He leaves for London on Monday morning, and I don’t want him to leave with questions over us. I want him to know that I am his submissive as well as his lover. He’s in the bathroom and I know just what I want to do for him. I take off my pyjamas and kneel at the end of the bed, facing the bathroom. I let my body relax and try to clear my mind, thinking only of what I want to show Seb.

  I listen for the water to stop and hold my breath for Seb to walk back into the bedroom. My head is bowed, so I listen for his movement. After what feels like hours, I hear movement, followed by nothing. My entire body vibrates with the apprehension of what Seb will say. What he will do. I refuse my desperate need to look up to him and keep looking at the carpet.

  “Isabel, you’re a very pretty sight like that.”

  “Thank you, Sir.”

  “Was there something you wanted to say to me?” His voice rumbles low and deep and ignites my desire for him.

  “No, Sir.”

  “Is there something you want to do?”

  “Yes, Sir.” I hold my breath.

  “Tell me what you want to do. Now.” My skin flushes at the thought of what I could say.

  “I… I want to suck you. I want to make you come like I did the first night I came here.”

  “Good girl. Do it.” He’s telling me what to do and giving me the freedom to get lost in him. I eagerly pull the towel from his body, freeing his cock. He’s already thick and hard, and I shift my legs further apart as my own need blossoms.

  I lean forward and lick the underside of his head before swirling my tongue around and wrapping my lips over his shaft. My lips press down and I take him to the back of my throat. The low vibration from Seb’s chest spurs me on and I grip the base of his shaft with my hand, squeezing tightly as I work my head up and down. I pump fast and hard, spearing my own throat with his cock. There is nothing pretty about this, it’s raw and sexy. It’s all about me showing Seb how much I still want to please him.

  My lips grow hot and saliva seeps down around my hand that still has hold of his cock.

  “God, Izzy… Yes. Yes…” I look up through my lashes to see Seb’s expression as he hardens. Salty come pumps down my throat and I suck my lips up and off his shaft.

  I sit back on my heels and feel… proud. Warmth radiates from my chest.

  “Well done, Izzy.” His sexy smile is the perfect praise.

  Seb’s alarm clock jolts me awake. He switches it off before rolling over to me. “Morning, sweetheart.” He kisses me and then makes his way to the bathroom. I slip from the covers and go down to make coffee. Making coffee in the morning used to be a sign of my submission, that I’d be giving everything over to Seb. Now, it’s just part of our routine. I make coffee, we get dressed for work and go our separate ways. We both return at varying times, with a few texts over the course of those hours. We eat and go back to bed. I can see it before my own eyes. The life I was so desperate to leave is starting to play out in front of me again.

  The welcome aroma of coffee gives me the kick I need to take the drinks back up to our room. Seb is still wet from his shower, dressed only in a towel. I fight my mind to stay focused, especially since yesterday morning.

  I place the cups down and sit back on the bed.

  “Will your feelings for me change if we can’t be get back to what we were before?” I blurt it out before I can stop myself.

  Seb stops packing and gives me a look that has me lowering my gaze on instinct. I hear him chuckle before the bed dips beside me.

  “No, of course not. I want to be with you. I want to marry you, for God’s sake. Don’t you remember that?”

  “Even after… everything?”

  “Of course. That will never change. You still submit to me, there are just a few things you don’t like anymore, and that’s understandable. Lots of people have triggers. We will work on them and in time they will probably disappear.” His words are just what I need to hear.

  “I haven’t forgotten that you proposed. I know I’m not quite divorced yet, but things haven’t changed. I’m not sure I see marriage as something I want. I don’t want you to think this will change overnight for me. You said you wanted someone with the same desires to share in your relationship and match your dominance with submission. I’m not sure I can do all of that right now.”

  “We’re working on that. You are submissive, Izzy. It doesn’t just go away. You offered me your submission yesterday. You let me take control. You wanted to take it slowly and we are. Don’t worry yourself into something that isn’t a problem.” He pauses and tilts my head up so I’m looking at him. “Don’t let him win. You listen to me. Understand?”

  “Yes, Sir.” I smile at him and he kisses it right off my lips.

  Seb’s words from earlier play over and over in my mind. Am I letting Phil win? With the divorce all but finalised, I should be free. I should be celebrating my life and moving on with Seb. Phil did a horrible thing to me, but it could have been worse. Am I giving too much power to one horrible incident?

  I force my worries aside and pick open the Everlyn account. I’ve been working on
several new campaign options for them and will be presenting my concepts to the direct marketing department of White Cube. If we get them on board, we can pitch the integrated campaign to the client.

  For the rest of the day, I focus on work and hold on to the belief in Seb’s words this morning. We are moving forward. We love each other. That is enough.

  “Hey, Luke, how’s business?”

  “Good, I can’t complain. I don’t usually hear from you outside of Solace, Sebastian. What can I do for you?” He’s right. Although we’ve known each other for several years now, our dealings are usually confined to Solace. However, I know that Luke can help, and right now, I need it.

  “I could do with your advice. Izzy’s bastard ex-husband attacked her. He tied her up and all but raped her. She’s doing really well but he’s left her with some triggers. We dropped the D/s to start with and have been reintroducing it slowly over the last week or so.”

  “Is he still breathing? The ex, I mean?”

  “Only just. I swear, Luke, I would have smashed his skull in if Izzy didn’t stop me.”

  “Well, I can understand that, mate, but it wouldn’t have helped you.”

  “I know, but it didn’t help me leaving him.”

  “Has she talked to anyone? Professionally, I mean?”

  “No. And that’s what I was phoning about. Can you recommend someone?”

  “That’s the first thing I’d get her to do. I have a female counsellor at the practice. I’ll set it up if you want?”

  “Let me talk to her first, but that would be great.”

  “Anything else I can help with?”

  “Well, I might need your advice on how to work through some of her triggers, but we’re not there yet.”

  “You know she’s going to need time, support and patience.”

  “And I’m giving all of that to her.”

 

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