by Al K. Line
But he also knew magic, and although hardly astounding it was better than Nathan, and he didn't seem to have anything in the form of an aid. No amulet, no wand or staff I could see, but he could have had anything concealed beneath the suit that cost more than most families earned in months of hard, honest work.
Not in the mood, I kept my distance but walked past, neither of us saying a word. I got in my car—my stolen car—and expected him to give me grief, but even as I drove off and glanced in the rearview he was still standing there, smiling, then he nodded once and disappeared behind his veil.
"Freak," I muttered, then drove through the city, preoccupied and increasingly unnerved by the meeting.
I missed Nathan, at least I'd known where I stood with him. This guy genuinely gave me the creeps. Plus I knew I couldn't go straight to the portal, my paranoia was too high, so I spent an hour driving around, switched cars three times, changed the meeting time with Ivan yet again, then finally made it to the house and portal.
My stomach rumbled as I closed the door behind me and put the wards back up, so I called Vicky and asked her what she was up to and did she want to meet for lunch. She was sullen and uncommunicative, and said she couldn't, and it was only after I hung up that I realized she hadn't even asked when we were meeting Ivan and if she could come.
Things must have gone badly at home.
So I sat alone in my pretend living room, hungry, aching, knowing things would get a lot worse, and then I must have finally fallen asleep.
I woke with a start, and luckily didn't do that jumping thing you sometimes do, because pressed against my throat was a very sharp, very shiny knife.
"Hello, Arthur," said the intruder.
"Gah," I replied, frankly a little put out as I really needed the sleep.
Surprise
"Haha, gotcha."
The knife moved away from my throat and I focused on the owner of said knife, rather than the blade itself. "Hell, Vicky," I croaked, "you scared the life out of me."
"That's what you get for falling asleep on the job. You ready?"
"Ready? Ready for what?" I rubbed at my neck, miffed that she'd pulled a fast one on me, and tried to clear my befuddled head.
"For the exchange. Have you got the book? Where is it?"
"Um, no, not yet. I crashed out, couldn't keep my eyes open. What's the time?"
"Three. I've got until eight. The kids are at a party right after school and hubby is never home early on a Monday."
"Oh, er, right. Great," I said, not meaning it at all. "Exchange is at four, I just need to go get the book." I shouldn't have slept, but couldn't help it. The night had been wild, the workout intense, not to mention the helicopter and such like. Damn, what a busy time of it.
Vicky stared down at me, hands on hips, tight red sweater with weird little white pom-pom things on it making her look like a diminutive clown. The sleeves were rolled up, clearly too long, and the neck was strangling her. "Nice jumper."
Vicky beamed. "The girls made it for me. They learned in school. I helped a little, but they did most of it." Vicky twirled, like I actually cared, but I made all the right noises and only grunted when I got off the sofa.
"Very stylish. How are you so perky? Aren't you sore? Knackered?" My legs felt cramped and my upper body just ached in a nice way, but I was so exhausted I could have dropped back to sleep no problem. Even with the damn book making me more or less a sitting duck if the owner got a whiff of it. It was best where it was until the last minute as far as I was concerned.
"I had a nap. And I ate. I was starving. Beast was a good idea, I'm still famished."
"That's great. See, told you." My stomach rumbled angrily at the mention of food and it was then I noticed the paper-wrapped parcels on the table, grease seeping through. I sniffed and my hunch was right. "Fish and chips?" Vicky nodded with a wide-eyed grin. "Awesome. You're a lifesaver."
We sat and opened up the goodies to reveal crisp cod in batter, and tons of chips soaked in vinegar with enough salt to turn a pool into an ocean. The heat seeped through and warmed my legs and soon my stomach was feeling just as toasty.
"Hey, how'd you get in?" I asked between mouthfuls.
"Just knocked and the door opened."
I coughed and spluttered and tipped food everywhere but managed to grab hold of the paper and the beautiful battered cod as I leaped to my feet. "And you didn't think to tell me?" I scanned the room in a panic as I sent out feelers for my wards. They were down. Gone.
"Shit."
The room was plunged into darkness. Vicky screamed. I stuffed food into my mouth as fast as possible.
Time to Go
I swear, I was gonna give Ivan a piece of my mind for getting me involved in this shit. The one thing I'd learned over the years was that you don't mess with entities that get this worked up about a bloody book. And why now? Why was it picking on me? What about the dude I nicked the book from? Why hadn't he had this kind of grief? Why hadn't the book been taken from him by this most terrible of beings?
Hopefully, I'd find out, but to be honest I didn't care that much, just wanted to get out of this spot of bother alive, go get the artifact and deliver it, shout at Ivan, and then I was definitely—this had made my mind up—going to take a nice long break from any of this nonsense.
Maybe I'd get myself together, have a shave, even go to the barber's, and buy some new clothes. It's one thing having a certain look, but constantly wearing either jeans or combats and the same sweaters, shirts, and jackets every day did get tiresome after a decade or so.
Yeah, that's what I'd do, I'd have a makeover. Haha, maybe there was something that could be done about the wrinkles, some special cucumber or something that I'd put on my eyes while I relaxed in a spa so I'd emerge looking ten years younger, feeling completely rejuvenated.
"Arthur!"
Vicky's scream broke my untimely ruminations, so I snatched out for her and brushed against something soft and giving.
"Hey, you pervert," squealed Vicky.
"Sorry, grabbed the wrong bit." I moved my hand lower and felt along a bony arm for her hand. With fingers entwined, I whipped out old faithful, was about to say something smart and full of innuendo, but could think of nothing witty, so instead used my wand as a light source and dragged Vicky as fast as I could into the hall.
"I WANT IT," came a familiar voice. The sound had no source, was everywhere and nowhere, a favorite party trick for immortal, powerful beings when they come to play with frail humans.
"Don't we all," I shouted back as we ran. "I was thinking a haircut and some new clothes. Maybe that's what you need too."
"RETURN WHAT YOU STOLE. OFFER IT FREELY."
Space began to feel warped, like we were being dragged away from one plane of existence and into another. Not in a nice way, where you'd get to understand the power of the cosmos, maybe unlock the secrets of the universe, that kind of thing, but in a screwy way that I knew would send us loopy.
"What if I don't?" I asked, unable to help myself. This was odd, why not just take it? I guess it couldn't sense where it was, so it had its limits, wasn't all-seeing, but the offer it freely thing struck a chord. What could this being actually do? Oh yeah, crash helicopters. But wait, we hadn't crashed because of it, had we? No, it had merely scared us, but we didn't die.
"THEN I SHALL DESCEND."
"And that's bad, right?" I asked, hoping maybe it would mean we could settle it like men. Or like man and insanely powerful and scary thing.
"RIGHT."
Thinking now was a great time for a change of scene, I carried on dragging Vicky's slick hand and with a little yelp from my red-sweatered amigo, we plunged through the portal and emerged in the barn.
There was a whoosh of an unfamiliar kind and I shoved Vicky forward and away as I felt something like a thick rubber band around my entire body yank me back toward the portal. This was a first, and not in a good way. I fought with an inner strength mainly forged from stubbornness and tinged
with annoyance, and struggled to walk forward as I was pulled back.
The gate crackled and spat out white light, which couldn't be good for it, but I refused to be sucked back in. With a final setting of my teeth and a surge of magic, I broke free and smashed into the ground.
The portal was silent, nothing to see there as I turned, so I hauled myself up and ran into the main barn only to find Vicky there with her arms raised, looking up.
Black feathers drifted, silent and beautiful, calm and quiet like the first snow of winter. Everything was still and perfect and beautiful.
And deadly.
About Time
"Do not touch them," I warned as Vicky tried to grab the delicate feathers.
"Why not?" She lowered her hands though, and turned her attention to me rather than the impossible black cloud amassing above.
"Because I have no idea what it might do to a citizen. Heck, I'm not even sure what it will do to me, and I've already touched a few. Maybe it puts you on his radar or something. Dunno." I didn't, and it was annoying. This dude had been chasing me for a while now, but in a weird game of cat-and-mouse. I was missing something, couldn't understand why he didn't just come and make me return the book. Something was off.
"And who is he? What is that thing? Can it kill us?"
"Not sure who exactly. What it is is best not said right now, and as to if he can kill us, then I'm not too sure about that either. I thought he could, but maybe not. We didn't die when he attacked the helicopter, but maybe that was because he wanted the book back."
"This is all about the book?" Vicky turned and stared right at the place I'd hidden it.
"Bloody noob," I muttered. "I knew you'd peeked. What's wrong with you? You don't look where you've hidden something, it gives the game away."
"But he's not here," whined Vicky.
"How do you know?" I asked, looking up at the dark cloud and the falling feathers.
Vicky looked up too and then I snapped out of my stupor and ran to get the silver box before anything stupid happened.
Retrieved, I ditched the box and pocketed the book after sealing it tight. Always prudent to protect your stolen goods. "Right, now we just have to get back to the city, meet Ivan, and be done with this shit."
"I am not going back through that portal. That thing is on the other side."
"Well we can't drive, it will take too long."
Vicky thought for a moment, then frowned. "I have to get home for the girls later. Harry will go mental if I'm not there when he finishes work. He wasn't happy this morning, we had a huge argument."
"Not surprised. You were supposed to take the kids to school. You should keep better time."
"Arthur, you're supposed to be on my side," protested Vicky.
"I am, but you have to get your priorities right. You wanted in to this life, but you don't have to get involved in every damn thing I do."
Vicky smiled despite her concern, and said, "You'd be lost without me."
"Oh, yeah, sure. I didn't have a clue what I was doing until you came along."
"Still don't," she mumbled.
As we bickered, the air around us fizzled and shone as sparkly loveliness filled the barn. I half expected the sound of a harp or maybe soothing chamber music, but I made do with a smile.
"About time," I said as faery dust began to fall and everything felt that much better in the world.
"Hey, Dad. Hey, Vicky," said George, looking, well, looking beautiful beyond compare. Faery dust fell from her lustrous auburn hair like summer dew catching the rays of the sun on a perfect day. Her eyes glistened like infinite pools of clear water, revealing a purity of soul and mind no human could ever hope to achieve.
As she moved, her limbs shed tiny motes of magical dust that shone impossibly bright, and everything felt right in the world if only for a moment.
Then George frowned and her whole body shuddered and static broke up the image like the freeze-frame on an old VHS movie. Lines split her body and the space around her as she flashed in and out of existence.
Then the atmosphere became truly charged with otherworldly purity and faery dust fell in earnest. George's image flickered once more then was solid. Standing beside her was the most beautiful woman you could ever hope to set eyes on.
Sasha rested her perfect, utterly lickable fingers gently on George's shoulder and said sweetly, "What did I tell you about controlling the ether as you manifest?" She smiled lovingly at my daughter, less a chastisement than direction from one with infinite patience. When it suited her. I'd also seen Sasha do despicable things that would make the most hardened of war criminals squirm. That's the fae for you.
"Sorry, I thought I had it this time."
"Look, it's great to see you're bonding so well and that you're learning so much, George, but if you've come to save us then can we get on with that? Like, now?"
The dark clouds gathered again and the feathers fell, catching faery dust as they drifted.
Sasha frowned at the interference and said, "They're such a nuisance. Did you know that once I had to actually—"
"Later, all right? Let's go," I said, staying calm and not snapping at my faery godmother at all.
Sasha turned her full attention to me and said, "Arthur, what have you been up to now?"
"Er, nothing much. Blame the vampires. Blame Vicky's brother."
"And it has nothing to do with you? You didn't take something? Is that a book in your pocket or are you pleased to see me?"
I glanced down, and mumbled, "Yeah, it's a book." It was, honest. Sasha can have that effect on you, but my daughter was right in front of me, and ugh, gross.
"Very well, let's go. Vicky, Arthur, please hold a hand each."
Sasha and George held hands and I held Sasha's left, Vicky held George's right. Magic, true, pure, incredible magic surged through us all and we were connected in a way impossible to describe.
"Now, George," said Sasha sweetly. "Remember to focus, and as this is your first time bringing anyone to Faery I suggest you be very careful. We don't want any accidents."
"Um, wait," I stammered. "Maybe this isn't such a good idea."
Then my body got ripped apart by the universe itself. Which didn't feel nice in the slightest.
Things Get Freaky
"Everyone feeling okay?" asked George nervously as we let go of each other. For me and Vicky it was because the pressure was building in our heads and we were screaming, Vicky louder than me of course. I was an old hand at this, not that I ever liked it.
"Been better," I grumbled.
"Argh," said Vicky.
"Well done!" said Sasha, beaming with pride at my daughter, who, in return, grinned like the Cheshire cat.
"Ugh, what was that about being careful and this being your first time?" I asked, trying to keep my mind off where we were and instead focused on something I understood.
"She needs to learn," said Sasha. "And that was as good a time as any."
"And I did it!" George did a little slow dance shuffle type thing, faery dust sparkling in all the colors of the rainbow as the land of Faery shimmered and shone and generally freaked me out.
"Argh," said Vicky again.
Sasha went to her, whispered in her ear, then gently stroked her head. Vicky calmed in an instant and soon she was breathing normally and looking quite chipper. Nobody rubbed my head, or any other part of me.
"Now, Arthur," said Sasha as she turned to me with her hands on her wondrous hips, pressing tight against some figure-hugging spangly material that shone gold, catching the light from George's green dress in the same, way-too-tight and my-daughter-shouldn't-be-allowed-out-like-that cut. "What exactly was that all about? It's a good job we were there to rescue you. Don't you think it's about time you stopped annoying such entities?"
"I didn't know who it rightfully belonged to when I took it. How could I?"
"Maybe you should have done your research. I thought that was what Vicky was for, to help you with these things?"
"Yeah, Vicky, why didn't you know?"
"Know? Know what? I still don't know what's going on, who that was. What's with the feathers? Is it trying to kill us?"
I waved away her moans and asked Sasha a rather important question. "Can it kill us? Will it?"
"Depends," she said with a frown.
"On what?"
"If anyone is stupid enough to give it what it needs to actually return in physical form. You aren't that stupid, are you, Arthur?"
"No, of course not!" The nerve of this woman. "Um, and just out of interest, how would one go about giving it what it needs to manifest as a physical entity? Because, even without a body, it's almost killed us in a helicopter, and then I had to fly the bloody thing. And then we really did crash it."
"You flew a helicopter?" asked George, shocked and very impressed as it's a cool thing to do. Even for a dad.
"Yeah," I said glumly.
"I thought you hated flying?"
"I do. So we crashed. Don't worry, we didn't die." All three women stared at me funny. "What? We didn't."
"You'll have to tell us all about it, I'm sure," said Sasha.
"Maybe I will, maybe I won't." For some reason I was getting defensive, probably because I was losing track of things and could have sworn I'd already told George about it. When had it been? This morning? No, that couldn't be right, could it? Hell, it was. We came back to the city, Vicky got into trouble with Harry the humongous hubby, I had a sauna, and blah, blah, blah. No wonder I was bloody tired.
"Hello, anyone in there?" George waved a hand in front of me and I snapped back to reality. If you can call Faery reality. And that reminded me, this place was freaky and getting freakier.
We weren't meant to be here. Everyone was spasming. Speeding blurs of shapes that I assumed were fae moved in all directions, the landscape sparkled and was beautiful, I'm sure, but as with all these places the fae called home, I couldn't actually see it properly. It was ephemeral, just out of reach, hidden behind a veil that left mortals out in the cold.