by Allie Kay
“I’m Jack.” I stuck a hand out for her to shake and she hesitated before taking my hand. She’d changed her hair since that long ago day too, but the shadows in her eyes weren’t quite as dark. I let the touch linger a moment longer than proper, teasing a bit, testing to see how she reacted to my touch. “I live in the front and upper unit. The yard work will be all my responsibility. Even the fenced backyard too.”
“She hasn’t rented it yet,” the realtor snapped.
Joy snatched her hand back at the woman’s harsh words, and I watched as she flexed her hand before laying a hand on her son’s shoulder. I wondered if her skin still tingled like mine did.
“If, then,” I said to pacify the older woman. I brought my gaze back to Joy, enjoying the tiny twinkle of amusement reflected in her eyes. “Go check it out and see if it fits your needs. I’ll just be here raking leaves if y’all need anything. Or if you have any questions about the house or what each unit is responsible for.”
“Can I jumps in the leaves?” Mateo asked, bouncing next to his mama. “I never got to jumps in leaves before.”
Joy shook her head and shut the kid down, hard. “No! It took Mr. Jack way too long to rake those up for you to mess up his piles by jumping in them. Absolutely not.”
“Okay.” Mateo seemed to shrink, his energy now subdued. He looked at the ground, grinding a stray leaf under the tiny toe of his blue sneaker.
The disappointment filling his little face made something deep in my chest hurt. I rubbed a hand over my eyes before crouching down in front of the kid. Something about this somber little boy and his secretive mama got to me. And got to me bad.
I found myself speaking, trying to put a smile back on the kid’s face, without really thinking things out first. “Hey. How ‘bout this? I’ll let you jump in that pile near the fence if”— I paused until Mateo met my eyes— “you help me rake it back up afterward. You know, if your mama’s okay with it.” I should have probably lead with that, or asked her first, but the words spilled out of me, the desire to make the kid smile overtaking my common sense.
I met Joy’s eyes in question. I’d waited for a glimpse of recognition, but so far there’d been nothing to indicate she remembered our brief meeting last year. Probably best that she didn’t. I hadn’t made the best of impressions with my shaved head, bright orange jumpsuit, and shackles. She’d hardly given me much notice, her attention focused on her son. She’d clearly made more of an impression on me than I had on her.
“Are you really okay with it?” she asked softly. Surprise filled her eyes. How long had it been since someone had done something nice for her? For her child?
I grinned at her. “Wouldn’t have offered if I minded.”
“Okay.” She looked down at Mateo. “But we look inside first. That way you don’t track dirt in.”
“Deal!” Mateo hugged my leg tight. The strength in those scrawny little arms was amazing. “Thank you, Mr. Jack,” Mateo squealed.
I patted the soft hair that reached only midway up my thigh. My throat tightened with an emotion I couldn’t name. Something about this little guy had got to me last year, and it only entrenched itself further with every interaction. “You’re welcome, kiddo. Now, you guys better get in there to look at the house.”
4
Joy
My heart lurched at the sweet trust my baby showed a man he’d barely met. All from such a simple act of kindness as jumping in a pile of leaves. Maybe I’d gotten him away from Ricky in time to keep him from having permanent issues with trust.
The Lord only knew how many issues I’d have trying to get involved with someone again. To be able to trust someone enough to allow him to touch me, to share my past and how it shaped my present and ultimately my future. I gave myself a mental shake at that thought. No men, no involvement. Nope.
Even if my potential new neighbor was the type of man that a woman could spend hours fantasizing about—strong, handsome, good with kids. The sunshine hit his hair, making the brown locks shimmer golden in the light, and his squared jaw had just enough scruff to make me want to nibble on it. Did I mention strong? He’d worked up a sweat raking all those leaves, and that perfectly fitted blue t-shirt clung to a broad, well-muscled chest. Yet, despite that strength, his hands gently brushed Mateo’s hair. My heartbeat fluttered and settled into an odd, but comforting, new rhythm.
“Come on, buddy, let’s look inside. Let Mr. Jack get back to his raking.” I finally found my voice and was proud of myself when it didn’t shake. My knees were another story. What the heck was happening to me?
Jack grinned at me and I damn near melted. Damn. Who’d have thought early November would be so damn hot? Surely it was the weather that had me feeling so heated and not that slightly crooked smile Jack aimed my way. I swallowed hard. No men, no involvement. I couldn’t let a lopsided grin and a pair of whiskey-colored eyes sidetrack me from my goal. I needed a safe place for Mateo, not a pair of strong arms wrapped around me. I looked at Jack’s arms, the sleeves of his t-shirt tight around his biceps. Definitely strong, too strong maybe.
Mateo pried himself off Jack slowly and moved toward me. “Mama, can’t you just pick this house? I like it better already. We don’t have to go up eleventy billion trillion million stairs. But, maybe we can try the other one for one night like the motel room? Donkey wants to see if he can fly as high as a big ol’ bird can if he flies off of that porch thingy.” He stopped in his tracks, pure panic in his eyes. “Oh no! Donkey! Mama! I lefted him at the other house!”
“Shh! I got him. He’s in the front seat of the car.” I watched out almost as carefully for that one-eyed stuffed donkey as I did for my son. Its well-loved fur was worn and flat, one eye eaten years ago by Ricky’s asshole dog. But Donkey was Mateo’s best friend, his security blanket. I wasn’t going to leave him behind. That donkey had seen more blood and tears, and had more scars, than most people. He was family and you couldn’t leave behind family. “You wanna go grab him? You need his opinion on this place.”
The realtor huffed as Mateo ran to the car.
“Do you have a problem with how I raise my son?” I asked, a touch of iron in my voice. I’d reached my limit with critical assholes for a lifetime already and this realtor did not want to push me. I stared at the realtor, hard, waiting for a response.
“No, no, of course not. Just something stuck in my throat. All these leaves,” the realtor covered her gaffe quickly. She turned her attention back to Mateo who was running over from the car, his beloved donkey in hand. “Mattie-poo, you ready to see this place?”
Mateo rolled his eyes and stomped a foot at her. “I am not that name. Don’t call me that name.”
“He only likes being called Mateo, no nicknames.” Normally, I’d fuss at my son for being disrespectful, but this realtor rather deserved his impertinence.
“I can see that,” she murmured. “Sorry, sweetheart. Come on. I have the key right here.” She hurried over the door to the unit with Mateo skipping along with her, more eager to see this place than he had been the last.
I waved slightly at Jack. When I glanced back, his dark eyes were still following me. My lips curled, and knowing I still had his attention, I put a little extra sway in my hips as I walked. Something about that man made me want to be someone else. To be more brazen than I’d ever been, more bold than a woman with my history should have had the confidence to be. But walking inside the kitchen of the rental unit, I fairly strutted, my head held high after just a glimmer of attention from a man I shouldn’t even give a second glance.
My eyes took a moment to adjust to the dimness of the room after the bright sunshine of the yard. A tiny window next to the door let in some natural light, but the blinds were closed tight at the moment. The large eat-in kitchen had less counter space than I’d have ideally liked, with a majority of the space devoted to the eating area, but overall it looked newer and modern. White cabinets helped to brighten the room, although the plain design added little architectural d
etail. Fresh clean paint covered the walls, unfortunately a rather bland beige in color. With some pops of color, it could be lovely though. Easy enough to add. I ran a finger down the rounded edge of the dark granite countertop on the island. It had the perfect little overhang for a couple stools. I could see myself cooking in this kitchen with Mateo perched on a stool chattering away about his day.
Mateo ran back into the kitchen—damn, I hadn’t even noticed that he’d gone—and squealed. “Mama, there’s a big slippy hallway.” He ran back out as fast as he’d come in, calling over his shoulder, “Come see what I can do!”
Six words that strike fear into the hearts of mothers of boys everywhere. Whatever the subject, the words implied something super fun to a boy, which meant super dangerous to a mom. “I’m coming, sweetie. Please be careful!”
The kitchen opened into a much larger living room than I’d expected. The hardwood flooring had a dull shine, with scratches and a few gouges that should have left it looking worn and dated, but instead added a depth of character that matched the feel of the house. The room was brightened by a huge window overlooking a massive backyard full of trees and leaves, surrounded by a bright white fence. It looked perfect for a little boy to run around in.
Mateo had his little nose pressed firmly against the glass, the slippy hallway momentarily forgotten it seemed. “Mama, is this yard for this house too? Or is it somebody else’s?”
“Yes, that’s the fenced yard I mentioned,” the realtor answered before I could. “It is nice. But this place is not nearly as high end, nor as convenient to businesses in downtown. Do you want to see the rest? It’s so plain that you won’t miss much if you chose not to.”
I spun around to face the older woman. With each and every word that came out of the realtor’s mouth, I liked her less. “Why are you so dead-set on me taking the other place when this one clearly fits my needs better? Do you get an extra fee for each apartment there that you lease or what?”
“Of course not!” The realtor huffed, running a manicured nail over the window sill and wrinkling her nose at the slight trail left in the dust. “I don’t see that this place does better suit your needs.”
“Really.” I held up a hand, counting off as I spoke. “I had three requirements. One, I wanted room for Mateo to play. This place has a huge fenced yard in what seems to be a quiet neighborhood. Not to mention at least double the square footage inside. Two, good schools for next year. You said the schools were good both places. And three, within my admittedly limited budget. This place costs significantly less than the apartment, so tell me, please, which of my criteria doesn’t this place meet?”
The realtor seemed to have trouble making eye contact. She shifted nervously from one foot to the other before stuttering out a reply. “Well, I... Don’t you worry about safety out here, with the houses so far apart? And while your son seems to like him, I don’t trust that neighbor.”
Who did this judgmental cow think she was?
I crossed my arms over my chest, narrowing my eyes at the realtor. “I don’t judge people based on their initial appearance, but rather wait to make a decision based on their attitude and actions. Perhaps you should do the same. I’ve rather found that appearance can be deceiving. Sometimes you see what appears to be a nice professional person who turns out to be a bigot. Sometimes you find a heart of gold in a rough wrapper. I’ll keep to myself which of those seems to be the case in my life today. I want this place. What do you need me to sign and when can I get the keys?”
The realtor harrumphed her displeasure. “I have a copy of the lease in the car. Excuse me.” Her heels clicked loudly on the worn hardwood.
“Mama, you wants to see the bedrooms now?”
I probably should have checked out the bedroom situation before asking to sign a lease, but I’d let my temper get the best of me. And clearly this place was a better overall choice, even if the bedrooms turned out to be closets with windows. And I’d committed to this place it seemed, so hopefully the rest of the place held as much promise as the living room and kitchen. “We better look at the bedrooms, huh?”
“Yup. And guess what else?” Mateo giggled and whispered, “There’s a washing machine in the bathroom. Isn’t that funny? You think whoever made this house didn’t know that washing machines go in laundry rooms and not bathrooms?”
Laughter bubbled out of me. Mateo never failed to surprise me with his random observations. “Show me. Which room will be mine, do you think?”
“Hmmm. The one at the end of the hall better be mine. You can have the one across from the bathroom.” He tugged me down the hall to show me his discoveries.
I peeked into the bathroom. Serviceable. Plain, but clean with newer fixtures. And I whispered a soft, “Thank you” to the person who’d remodeled and put a laundry closet in there. I hadn’t thought to ask about laundry since the realtor had upset me so much. Having to take it to a laundromat should have been my karma for the rash decision to lease this place and the spiteful way I had spoken to the realtor. Even if the woman had deserved it, I shouldn’t have been rude.
“This room’s yours.” Mateo pointed to the doorway across the hall. “It’s gots a bigger closet. But it’s got a door that don’t go nowhere.”
That caught my attention. Walking over to the door, I tried to turn the handle. Nothing happened. There was indeed a door that didn’t seem to open. I looked carefully at it, noticing the keyed deadbolt lock on it. Stepping back into the hallway, I estimated the dimensions based on the interior and figured that door must go to what was now the other unit. “We really have to work on your grammar, buddy. But this room does have a door that doesn’t open, doesn’t it?”
“I don’t like doors that don’t go nowhere.” Mateo dropped his voice to a whisper, “What if mean daddies come through it in the dark time and hurt little boys?”
“Oh, baby, come here. Don’t you worry about mean daddies any more. We got away and we are not going back. Ever. Okay?” I hugged him tight, blinking back the tears threatening to fall. Slipping away from Ricky in the middle of the night was proving to be the best decision I’d ever made.
A small part of me once thought perhaps karma had pushed Ricky into my life as punishment for that wild rebellious year when I was sixteen. I had experimented with drugs, alcohol, and sex thanks to the wannabe rock star I’d met by chance. Ricky had come along just after that heartbreak had healed, saying all the right things, and even making my once disappointed parents smile at me again. Perhaps Ricky was the penance I owed for my transgressions. But Mateo hadn’t darkened karma’s path with any misdeeds. A four-year-old child should not be afraid to sleep in their own bed. I hated that it had taken me this long to do it.
When I could speak again, I told him, “I’m pretty sure this place used to be one big, old house. I think that door goes into the apartment where Mr. Jack lives. And you like Mr. Jack, right? Nothing to worry about, huh? Now, show me this super awesome room you’ve picked for yourself.”
5
Jack
The door to the back unit slammed shut and caught my attention. I looked up, hoping for another glimpse of the beautiful Joy. I sighed in disappointment and turned my focus back to the leaves. Drawing more of the leaves into the next pile, I ignored the realtor as she stomped across the grass to her car.
Her unintelligible mumbles barely reached my ears. She clearly was unhappy about something. As I snuck a glance at her, she dug through an oversized bag and pulled out a folder. She stomped back into the house with the folder in hand. The door slammed once again as she entered the house.
My lips turned up in a smile. Joy must want to sign a lease. I couldn’t think of why else the realtor would be taking paperwork inside the rental unit during a showing. Suddenly much lighter, I began to whistle. The sun was bright and warm on my face. The last remaining leaves rustled down from the branches and harmonized with my tune. A new hope seemed to carry on the light breeze, filling me with positivity.
My life was certainly looking up.
With renewed vigor, I attacked the leaves cluttering the lawn. When I’d raked up two more large piles, I stopped to wipe the sweat from my brow. Looking around the large yard, I nodded, satisfied with the progress so far.
The morning’s physical activity, combined with renting the back unit to the most intriguing woman I’d ever met, had killed the urge to drink. My resolve to stay clean had been replenished.
“Mr. Jack. Mr. Jack!” Mateo called out. The little boy ran over to where I stood. “We’re moving in with you!”
I laughed. “Oh yeah? Well, my place is a bit small for three people, but I guess we can make it work if you don’t mind sleeping on the couch.” Unless I opened the upstairs. I’d kept the upstairs with two large rooms as part of my unit, but they sat unused. The small bedroom downstairs met my needs, even on the extremely rare occasion that I’d brought someone home. It would be a tight fit for two long-term, but for an occasional overnighter, it had been just fine. Joy would fit nicely in there with me though, if even for a single night.
“Oh God.” Mateo’s mama hurried over and stuck a hand over the boy’s mouth before he could respond to my comment.
Probably for the best, really. This conversation was leading to thoughts of Joy in my bed and the jeans I wore were already feeling tighter than they had just a few minutes ago. I stuck a hand in my pocket and tried to pull the jeans down enough to give my cock a bit more room, without being too obvious.