by Allie Kay
“Are you full now, sweetie?” I swiped at the chocolate with a napkin.
“Yeah, I am stuffed like Donkey.” He rubbed his little belly. “Look at my big fat belly.”
“That’s some belly you got, kid.” Jack tossed another napkin across the table. “You still have sprinkles on your nose.”
15
Jack
I followed Joy inside. She’d been silent the entire ride home. I watched for the silver rental but had seen no sign that her ex was currently lurking around. Seeing that asshat had done a real number on Joy though.
Mateo skipped off to his room to play and Joy started emptying a cabinet. I started to ask what she was doing when it hit me—she was packing up to leave Garden Falls. To leave me.
“You’re just going to run?” Pain lent a harsh note to my words. I tried to squash that, to change tactics, when she flinched.
“I can’t let him get to me. Get to Mateo.” She looked up at me, tears in her eyes. “Jack, I just can’t.”
“I won’t let him get to you.”
She smiled softly. “You have a job. A life. You have to sleep. As sweet as you are, you are just one man.”
I paced the length of the kitchen. “Go to the cops.”
“And what? Get a restraining order? A piece of paper that says he better not come here?”
I stopped. “It’s something.”
“It’s not enough. I tried to go through legal channels before we even had Mateo. He beat me. With bruises on my face and a busted lip, the county judge dismissed the charges against him. My own father stood as a character witness for Ricky, and my mother scolded me behind closed doors for making Ricky that mad. I couldn’t get out of bed for a week after he got home that night.”
“He hurt you that bad?” I choked out, emotion clogging my throat.
“That was the night I conceived Mateo. He’ll never hear the circumstances behind his birth. Not from me.”
I squeezed the bridge of my nose. “He raped you?”
“Yes.”
Dear God. I’d known Ricky was a sonofabitch, but I never expected that. “And the cops did nothing?”
She grabbed another empty box from the pantry and started packing another cabinet. She stuffed Mateo’s pop-tarts in the box next to some cereal and a few boxes of pasta. When it was full, she grabbed another box. “I didn’t tell them.”
“But—”
She interrupted me. “Do you know what it’s like to be afraid to sleep?”
“Joy—”
“Do you know what it’s like to wake up to a pillow pressed over your face? To fight a threat you can’t see when you have no access to air and someone twice your weight is sitting on your chest?” A wildness filled her eyes as she questioned me.
“No,” I whispered, not trusting my voice to not break.
“Do you know what it’s like to watch someone hold a gun to the head of your child while they sleep, threatening to pull the trigger unless you suck his cock? To have your child’s life, his very life, hang in the balance over your behavior?”
I shook my head when words failed me.
“I do.” She slammed her hand down on the granite.
“Joy—”
“I do. And I can’t live through that again. I won’t.” The ferocious protectiveness hardening her expression gave way to a sob. Tears poured down her face. “I can’t lose my son. He’s all I have.”
I stepped around the island and wrapped her in my arms. “Shhh...”
She sobbed against my shoulder. Scalding hot tears soaked through the cotton t-shirt I wore. I rubbed her back, but that seemed to make her cry harder. I patted and she wailed. Finally, I settled on just holding her tight until she regained control.
“I’m sorry. You shouldn’t have to see my weakness. I should never have gotten you involved in the mess I’m in.”
“Hush.” I tilted her face up. Using the pads of my thumbs, I wiped the last of the tears from her cheeks. “You are not weak. It took a hell of a lot of courage to walk away from Ricky. That’s a strength not many would have. I’m proud of you.”
“I’m sorry you are tangled up in this. I wouldn’t put it past Ricky to show up here and pick a fight with you.” She sniffled.
Even after all that she’d been through, she worried about me. I hugged her close again. That told me I meant something to her. That I wasn’t alone in the emotions swirling up around us. Well, if I could keep her from skipping town…
“Do I look scared?” I waited for her to shake her head before I said anything else. “I am right where I want to be. Please, at least think about staying here. I’ll take some time off. Or you and Mateo could hang out in the office at Garden, or I can introduce you to Sean’s wife, Talia. She’s very pregnant and would probably love to have another mom around to talk to.”
“I can’t ask that of you.” She gave me a sad little smile. “And I don’t want to risk anyone else getting hurt.”
“Shit, Garden’s probably the safest place in town.” I grinned down at her. “You haven’t met Sean. He’s a big son of a bitch. Makes me look like I barely hit puberty.”
She laughed a little at that. “Surely not.”
“Not really joking on that.” I chuckled. “Will you at least consider it? I’ll stay here tonight. On the couch.”
She looked up at me and, for the first time since Ricky had appeared, a little hope brightened in her eyes. “I’ll think about it. I need to check on Mateo.”
I cupped her cheek. “Mateo’s playing with his cars in his room. He’s just fine. You’re the one in need of some TLC right now.”
She clung to my shirt. “Ricky knows where we live though. He could come in—”
“Not without us hearing. The windows in this place creak like a mother fucker when they open. We have sight lines to both doors. He’s okay.” I kissed her forehead. “And you’re okay.” I kissed the tip of her nose. “I’m right here.” My lips covered hers.
I kept the kiss light. She was so stressed already and I didn’t want to make it worse. But I needed to kiss her. Needed to feel her touch. To know she was safe in my arms.
If you’d asked me a decade ago, “Do you believe in soulmates?”, my answer would have been a hearty laugh. Hell no, I didn’t believe in some magical sort of love that hit out of nowhere and filled cracks in a seemingly whole heart.
My answer might have changed after the day I met Joy and Mateo. Once I’d laid eyes on her, I’d have answered with a solid “maybe”.
Once I’d had her in my arms?
No question.
16
Joy
I stared at the ceiling. The house was quiet, only the soft hum of the heat unit kicking on disrupted the silence. Rolling over, I stared at the open doorway into the hall.
I didn’t know what to do. Part of me wanted to run. To go grab Mateo and get the hell out of the beautiful lakeside town that could all too quickly become home. But then would I spend the rest of my life constantly looking over my shoulder?
Jack wanted me to stay. He insisted that he could keep us protected. Staying would mean Mateo would have a stable home. And Mateo did love it here. I’d never seen my little boy so happy. And having a support system, if only a single man, someone to share some of the fear, some of the burden, helped more than I’d ever imagined. Leaving Jack would break my heart.
I wasn’t sure which option gave me, and Mateo, the best chance of survival though. Ricky wouldn’t give up. His mental instability wouldn’t let him. And for that, it didn’t matter if I were behind a motel door, in a car on the interstate, or wrapped in Jack’s arms.
Taking a deep breath, I weighed the options. Pros and cons of each choice sat like weights on my conscience. If I ran, it was only a matter of time before Ricky found me again anyway. He now knew what sort of car I drove. Where I lived. Everything.
And if he found me this fast, either his network was bigger than I’d ever imagined, or I was less adept at evasion than I’d p
redicted. My body shook as I released a deep, wrenching sigh that bordered on a sob.
Reaching out, I flipped on the lamp on the nightstand. I sat up on the side of the bed and hung my head between my knees. I couldn’t keep crying about this. No. The time had come to be strong. For Mateo’s sake as well as my own. Focusing on the grain pattern in the hardwood at my feet, I tried my best to find the right answer, but the swirls and knots in the oak held nothing but more questions.
“Hey,” Jack’s voice called softly. I still jerked at the suddenness of his appearance. He had insisted on sleeping on the couch and I’d been in no condition to argue. I must have woken him, but I’d been so lost in my thoughts, I hadn’t heard him coming.
“Hey,” I answered back.
“You okay?”
“I don’t know if I’ll ever really be okay again.”
“You will. It may not seem like it at the moment. But you will.” He moved closer and squatted down in front of me. The soft lamplight glinted off his bare chest. “Have you slept at all?”
“Not really, no.”
“Would it help if I held you?”
“I don’t know.” My heart raced at the thought of being cuddled up to his shirtless torso. It might not help with my worry over Ricky, but it would be far from unpleasant.
“Try it and see?” He grinned at me. “I’m a great cuddler.”
“Says who?”
He rolled his eyes. “Says me, of course. Admittedly, it’s been a while, so I might be a bit rusty. I’m game though if you are.”
I put my legs back under the quilt. Cold seeped through the oversized t-shirt I wore when I slid over to the far side of the bed. I patted the empty spot next to me.
Jack eased into the bed and flicked off the light. Under the cover of darkness, I moved into his waiting arms. When his arms tightened around me, I released a ragged exhale.
“Wanna talk about it?” His rough hand moved up and down my arm, slowly, sensuously.
“Mmm. I’d rather you kissed me.” I pressed my lips against his shoulder. It had been a very long time since I’d been in bed with a man I wanted to be in bed with. I’d thought my sex drive gone forever, but touching Jack’s bare skin started a fire that wouldn’t be doused by a cold shower.
“I thought you wanted to take things slow.” He groaned when my fingers slipped into the waist band of his flannel pajama pants.
“I’m living on borrowed time and I don’t want my last sexual experience to have been with Ricky. I want you to remind me that sex can be amazing. How good it can feel. Show me that there can be more than pain when a man and a woman join.” I dipped my fingers lower, tracing the curves on his lower abdomen. I nibbled his collarbone, smiling when his hand clutched my hip tightly.
When I boldly wrapped my hand around his hard length, he groaned out my name. He tangled his hand in my hair and pulled my lips to his. He arched into my hand, his hips thrusting, slowly.
I pulled away. He reached for me again. I shed the oversized shirt and pressed my bare chest to his. His moan carried an intense longing. Or maybe that was my moan. The heat from our bodies approached nuclear.
Jack hooked his thumbs under the band of my panties and pushed them down just below the curve of my ass. His big hands cupped my ass cheeks and pulled me closer. His cock jutted between us and I shifted until it rubbed just right against my clit.
“I don’t have any condoms,” Jack murmured, nibbling at my throat. With his grip on my hips, he guided me to rub against his cock, pajama pants still between us.
I whimpered, the sound a mixture of frustration and longing. My movements slowed for a second, but his hardness felt amazing. I continued to grind against him, his hands tight on my hips.
Jack threw his head back. He began to thrust in time with my movements. Oh God.
When he brought a hand up and grazed my nipple, I shattered. My first orgasm in years crashed over me, waves of pleasure flooding my body. Calling his name, I collapsed on his chest. He rolled me to my back and tugged my panties off. He tossed them over his shoulder and reached for the waistband of his pajama pants.
Crash.
He jerked away from me and was to the doorway before I could even react to the sound. Jumping up, I grabbed my robe and followed after him. He stood in the doorway to the kitchen cursing.
“What was that?” I whispered as I came up behind him.
“Fucker threw a brick through the glass on the door.” He stopped me from entering the kitchen. “Wait. There’s glass everywhere. We need to call the cops before we clean it up. Make sure they don’t need to get pictures or something.”
“I’ve gotta check on Mateo.” My feet slapped noisily on the hardwood as I ran down the hall to Mateo’s room. My sweet baby lay sleeping, Donkey held close to his face. Safe and sound.
I sank down in the doorway and watched him sleep. I couldn’t stop staring at his little eyelashes. I remembered the day he was born, how fascinated I’d been with his little fingers and toes, those perfect tiny eyelashes. I’d given away my heart in that moment.
Tears filled my eyes as I thought about how I could have lost him. What if that brick had hit him? What would Ricky do to us when he finally got drunk enough to do more than drive by or throw bricks?
It sounded so distant, but Jack’s voice drifted back from where he spoke to someone on the phone in the living room.
When he lay a hand on my shoulder, a scream nearly escaped me. “Shh… I just wanted to tell you, cops are on the way. You might want to get dressed?”
I turned to see that Jack had slipped back into the clothes he’d worn the day before, jeans and a long-sleeved t-shirt. Nodding, I let him help me off the floor and guide me to my room where I dressed while Jack went out to wait for the cops to arrive.
17
Jack
I waited on the porch when the cops pulled onto the gravel.
“Hear you had a disturbance?” one of the officers said, walking over.
I squinted against the brightness of the light suddenly pointed my way. “Yes, sir. Had someone throw a brick through the door glass in the back unit. The door’s around the side here.” I pointed toward the back of the house. “We can go around through the other entrance inside the fence though if you would rather not go through the broken door.”
“Yeah.” Their flashlights shone across the yard, scanning the grass, the trees, the bushes. The lights lingered on the gaping opening, sparkling around the edge with the sheen of broken glass in the light.
“We didn’t touch anything. Not the door. The glass on the floor. Nothing. Didn’t even walk into the kitchen,” I told them as I led them through the gate into the backyard. I opened the door into Joy’s living room and stepped inside.
Joy stood in the doorway to the kitchen staring at the mess. Her blank expression scared me. She didn’t react to the officers entering the house. Or to when I called her name. When I touched her arm, she jumped a foot.
“Oh. I didn’t hear you guys come in.” She wrapped her arms around herself tight. She nodded toward the kitchen. “There’s a note wrapped around it. I can’t read it from here, but I can imagine what it says.”
After a quick check, one of the officers brought in a camera and started documenting everything. He took pictures of the door, the glass spray across the floor, and the note-wrapped brick itself.
“Do either of you know who might have done this? Any enemies we need to know about?”
“Only my ex—I mean, my husband. We aren’t officially even separated. I left him just over a month ago.” Joy walked to the window, facing the glass. Her pained expression reflected back. “I saw him in town earlier. I never thought he’d find us this fast.”
“Us?” The officer waved a hand between Jack and Joy.
I shook my head. “Not me. This house has been split to a duplex. Joy and her son, Mateo, moved into this unit recently. I live in the front unit.”
“Right. Where’s the child?”
�
�Asleep in his room.” I tilted my head toward the hallway. “Seems like he slept through it all.”
“Mateo has always been a sound sleeper, luckily.” Tears ran down Joy’s face. She didn’t impede their progression down her cheeks. I doubt if she’d even noticed that they’d fallen. “He slept through a lot of things I’m glad he didn’t see.”
I wanted to comfort her. To try anything I could to ease the pain in her eyes. But when I stepped toward her, she stepped away. Shields in her eyes went up. And she shut me out. She shut us all out.
“Okay, so anyone but your ex?”
Joy shook her head. “I know no one else. Ricky made sure of that.”
The officer’s face showed his distaste. But his words stayed professional. “Any clue where we could find him? Do you happen to have a picture of him?”
“No. But he’s here in Garden Falls and we lived in Ohio.”
“Ohio?” I couldn’t help but ask. “But… Never mind.” I couldn’t finish that thought without drawing attention to my prison record and this wasn’t the best time to do that.
“The car has KY plates on it, I know. But a friend of mine bought it for me and she lives in KY. I had it stashed and ready the night Mateo and I ran away.”
“And what about you?” The officer looked at me. “Any chance someone meant to hit your unit and tagged her by accident?”
“I don’t think so.” I shook my head as I thought about it. “Any enemies I had would have been from a decade ago and nowhere close by. I’ve been in Garden Falls just over a year myself, and I can’t think of anyone I’ve gotten on the wrong side of.”
“Either of you know a Ricky? Or is that a Robby?” The cop who’d been taking the pictures stepped into the living room. The brick that had done so much damage now rested in an evidence bag. He held it up closer to the light. “Looks like he might have actually signed off on his handiwork.”