by Sharon Joss
Silver is an anathema to both of us. This collar prevents either of us from shifting form.
What about when we were caged that other time? In Queens?
Xenotchi hissed angrily with the memory. You were lost to us. We believed you to be dying. Tehuantl used his magic to infuse your life force with our combined spirits and you did not resist him. Our bodies blended into a new form. Something completely different. Your immunity to silver allowed Tehuantl to overpower and destroy our captor. The energy from our combined spirits as a triad revived you. We very nearly became trapped in the triad form.
It hadn’t been a dream after all. Mike’s stomach churned with the memory. He’d really been there; seen everything that happened to Hector Clemente. Not because of what had been in the papers, or what his partner had told him, but because for the first time since becoming the Nagual, he’d actually been present while Tehuantl was present. That had been his own fierce, savage joy he’d experienced when he’d torn their tormentor apart limb from limb, not the shaman’s. Oh god, he thought; I really am a beast.
Why couldn’t we do that again, Xenotchi?
You were near death, Mikebane. You offered no resistance when we invaded your spirit. Without that, a triad is impossible.
Hey, I give my permission. Let’s do it. Lets call Tehuantl and get out of here.
He felt the First Jaguar’s amusement. You are so very young, Mikebane. Until this very moment you have despised and feared my priest, and yet you are now so very willing to give up your mind, body, and soul to him?
He paused.
You fear that you will become a heartless killer, no? Tehuantl's methods of devotion are alien to you, but he only acts to save his God and clan.
He eats their hearts and brains.
He has dedicated his entire essence to the First Jaguar for eternity. And so he remains. His people are warriors. The eating of an enemy’s heart has always been an acceptable tribute. As for the brains, well, I find them quite tasty.
That practice is abhorrent to humans and punishable by true death. What will happen to me if I became part of this triad? Will I end up craving hearts and brains too?”
Xenotchi was silent for a while, as he considered his answer. I do not know for certain. Your spirit is not the first to have joined us, but Tehuantl never managed to forge a triad until we were in that basement in Queens. We were of one mind and body then, or nearly so.
If he could do it again, would I still be me?
A triad is formed only rarely. Always a Fae has been the third party. You are not pure Fae, and not immortal in your own skin, so I do not know whether it would even work. Your current form could weaken and die. Make no mistake. A triad is a being that is not priest, not human, and not Fae. But the new form, and the new consciousness would survive.
You didn’t mention First Jaguar.
First Jaguar is eternal. I am always here.
CHAPTER 37: BREAKING HELL
The lights came on and Ozzie banged his way into the Bestiary, reeling like a drunken sailor. He appeared highly agitated. He rattled around in the cupboards, as he appeared to search for something, then rifled through the packs for weapons. He found none. From the corner of his eye, Mike could see him standing in front of Sarah’s stall for a long time, as if trying to make up his mind before he went inside. Mike heard the sound of her shackles being unlocked.
“Come on, get up. We’re getting out of here.” He grabbed her and she stood dirty and naked, in the aisle in front of the jaguar’s prison.
Mike’s heart winced at the sight of her. Good lord, she’s nothing but bones. Her face was slack; her expression dull. The lump in his throat trembled until it became a silent growl. The cat laid back his ears.
“Felix is dead. Cobb has taken over the park and the estate. He’s in charge now. You’re my new bargaining chip. Here.” He handed her a white lab coat. “Put it on.”
It was far too big for her. She attempted to button it, but he slapped her hands down.
“Forget that.” He helped her into a Kevlar vest. “Now keep your mouth shut and follow me.”
It hit her then; Mike could see she finally understood. She turned to Tom’s cage and fumbled with the latch. Tom grunted and gnashed his teeth, and even the cat chuffed a low word of encouragement, but Ozzie had different ideas. He grabbed her by the vest and jerked her nearly off her feet. “I said, let’s go.”
“What about Tom? And the others. We have to take them with us.”
“Are you nuts? They’re animals. You open those cages and they’ll kill us all. You and I are the only humans here, sister. Let’s go.”
Sarah began to struggle but she had nothing left to fight with. Ozzie had her by a hundred pounds or more. “We can’t leave them,” she cried.
He slapped her so hard her teeth clacked together. “Listen, they’re planning to seal this place as soon as they finish up in the tombs. How long do you think we’d last down here? I’m putting my life on the line for you. Are you coming or not?”
Ozzie didn’t wait for her answer. He grabbed her by the straps of her Kevlar jacket and dragged the hysterical woman up the stairs. A moment later, they were gone.
With a gut-wrenching howl, Tom’s beast arrived. He began to shift.
CHAPTER 38: A NEW MAN
Tom’s bones cracked as he fought the change. He bellowed in agony as his face lengthened and his spine bowed. Mike watched helplessly as Tom’s hands clenched, his fingers melding together. Change pheromones flooded the cavern and grew to stifling proportion as the stress pheromones of the other wolves joined in. The cat began to pant. Across the aisle, the big wolf Tanner lay on his side, keening softly.
Farley trotted in, whining. He paced up and down the aisle, scratching and barking at each occupied stall, as if to say, ‘We’ve got to get out now!’
He had to make the First Jaguar understand what was happening. I see you, Xenotchi. The next person who comes down here is going to use explosives and seal this cavern. There is a time to be patient like the cat and wait for the right moment, but that time is past.
The First Jaguar didn’t answer, but Mike could feel his uncertainty. The First Jaguar had picked up on Farley and the wolves’ anxiety.
We are no longer the predator, Xenotchi. We are the prey.
You are only a frightened rabbit, Mikebane. You are afraid. Afraid of death. Afraid of Tehuantl. Afraid of what you might become.
Tell me what to do. How do we come together as one?
The cat refused to answer.
If Felix was dead, that meant Ambrose was out of the picture. He was either chained in his coffin or truly dead. What about Rafe? He didn’t think Rafe would stick around if Cobb was in charge, but what if something had happened to Rafe as well?
Taffy would die.
His uncle wouldn’t last long without Rafe. He had to do something.
Farley's panic and Tom’s agony was affecting all of them. Unlike the shifting of the other werewolves Mike had seen, Tom’s shift was agonizingly slow. The sound of Tom’s bones breaking was far worse than anything Ozzie had done to him. They were all squirming in sympathy.
I see you Tehuantl. We are together in this. I know Xenotchi is God spirit of the First Jaguar; he possesses the strength of the predator. I know you are the spirit of the shaman; you’ve got the magic and the knowing of the ancients. I’m the third piece, aren’t I? I possess the spirit of the Fae; I am the cunning warrior. I am immune to silver. I know the ways of men. You need me. That’s it, isn’t it? The triad is three, but it’s an equal three. Each of us brings our strengths to the one.
Xenotchi chuffed his amusement. Perhaps you are more clever than you seem.
Believe me, you’re not the first to tell me that. Now tell me what to do. Tell me how to come together.
It is not a thing for you to do. It is a thing for you to stop doing. You have clenched yourself against the flow of us. When you sleep, you release yourself naturally, and we are, to a lesser de
gree, united. What you must do is to release your grip on yourself intentionally. Only then will we flow together as one.
Mike remembered what Sarah had told him about retraining the unconscious mind to accept and embrace the change. Hell, he’d been listening to her coach Tom for the whole time they’d been down here. What will happen to me?
I cannot answer that; it is a leap of faith, Tehuantl answered. I was human once; more human than you. I left that life; I left that world behind. Once you take that path, you will never be able to go back. We will be the triad. We will be one.
Yeah, but which one of us will we be?
Tom’s howl reverberated off the walls of their prison. Mike’s throat thickened with guilt and grief for Tom’s misery; for all their misery. We can’t be left to rot down here. Win or lose, his own future didn’t matter anymore.
Promise me, Tehuantl. Promise me we’ll get every single living creature out of here, and destroy those responsible.
Tehuantl’s laughter echoed in his mind. We are more alike than you imagined, no?
So be it. He took a deep breath and let go.
The familiar melting sensation washed over him, and with it, pain. He grunted as he fought to regain consciousness; maintain control.
This will not work if you fight us, Mikebane. You must allow. Pressure built up inside him like a kettle about to boil. You must open yourself to all of us.
What do you mean, all of us?
The only answer was laugher. Allow the flow to come into you, my friend. As Sarah has said so many times, embrace your beasts. All of them. Flow with the current. That is the only way we will be one.
He opened himself to the pain. The force tore into him like water from a fire hose. He threw his hands up against the torrent. It felt as if his skin was being flayed from his bones. He screamed. He fought the onslaught with every fiber of his being.
It will not work, Mikebane. You fight us before it even begins.
You lied to me, he panted. How many spirits are in there? You said we would be a triad, but I could feel the presence of thousands and more thousands. I’ll drown. I’ll be lost.
Tehuantl is the guardian of souls for all who worship the First Jaguar. He is the warrior protector. His spirit is the vessel for all who worship the First Jaguar. Your spirit is strong, but you are one alone. One spirit is no match for Tehuantl. Your sacrifice will give him the physical form we require to gain our freedom.
Something Xenotchi said clicked into place. He reached out mentally to the First Jaguar with an open mind and curious inquiry, as Sarah had so often suggested. What he found astounded him.
The First Jaguar seemed to also be linked to the First Wolf. And the First Bear. And many others. As Mike reached out to the First Wolf, he found a spark of light that led him to Vince. And Dave. And Silas; the whole pack was there, right in the back of his head. And then, like a shiny new milk tooth, he found Tom.
The dam broke.
He was the pebble at the bottom of a great waterfall as the universe poured into him. He gasped for breath as every thought, emotion, and cell was ripped apart and blasted away.
He swirled in a vortex; a maelstrom of chaos, light, sound, and all the colors of darkness. He drifted, alone in the universe, moving slowly toward a cluster of tiny lights, glowing like a constellation in the vastness of a black hole. After a time, other patterns began to coalesce and he began to discern a sense of reassembled self. A self remembered, yet foreign. Something new. Something greater, broader, and deeper than anything he’d felt before. His muscles moved in novel configurations; his mind filled with memories and knowledge that hadn’t been there before.
He was one.
He was many.
As the tide ebbed, a coolness flooded through him. The pain dwindled, then disappeared; replaced by a new self-awareness. A rightness. A new equilibrium.
And it was done.
CHAPTER 39: LAST ONE OUT IS NOT A WEREWOLF
The sound of Farley’s whining woke me.
I’m still here. A surge of raw emotion flooded through me. I trembled like a newborn, overcome with relief and gratitude. Hot tears poured down my cheeks as I fumbled for the collar at my neck. Inch-long talons had replaced my fingernails, but I found I could retract them somewhat. I finally got the clasp and the hated collar fell harmlessly to the ground. I scrambled unsteadily to my feet in total darkness.
I gritted my teeth against the thirst; a craving for blood so strong, it was like gasping for air. As I panted in the silence, the realization that I was still me shook me too my core.
A quick check confirmed I still had all the rest of my basic equipment, and that I hadn’t grown a tail; a huge relief. My unshaved cheeks were as smooth as a boy’s, but my nose was broader, more flattened; but still human, from what I could tell. My old ears were gone; replaced by jaguar ears able to swivel back and forth toward sound. I stretched where I stood; the muscles of my new body cramped and protested. I felt as if I were an inch taller. Maybe two.
I ran my hands through my hair. My skull felt the same, but my mind was not. I knew things. New things. I had memories that didn’t belong to me, but it was okay; I knew what they were for. I was smarter now, and I knew what I had to do.
Farley woofed gently. I opened the door and heard him retreat a respectful distance. My new feet were thickly padded; my nails clicked against the stone floors with almost the same sound as the dog.
“It’s me, Farley.” My words were clumsy. Talking around canine teeth would take some getting used to. I was nearly mad with thirst. Blindly, I checked the pile of equipment left behind by the mercs and found a couple of flashlights and a box of matches, but they’d left no water or food. I found a pair gym shorts that fit and put them on. Everything else I useful I stuffed into one of the packs.
I grabbed one of the mag-lights and headed down the corridor toward the back of the cavern; sensing the life spirit in each wolf and Fae creature I passed. That was new. I searched my mind for Tehuantl, and stumbled, as I realized he was gone. Not as in hiding, but as in no longer present as a separate entity. He was me, but I had prevailed. The revelation gave me pause. Somehow, I had absorbed him. His memories and talents were mine now. I was me.
When I reached the back of the cavern, my new vision immediately detected Gordon’s ward. The portal wavered and shimmered, clear as day. When I touched it, it dissolved completely, leaving the exit in plain view. I gasped when I inhaled the sweet scent of the Tor. I hesitated as I considered what the Fae would think of my new form. Would they still consider me human? I flexed my fingers and my new claws popped out. Not likely.
I would never pass for human again. Or Fae either, for that matter. Too late to think about that now. There was work to be done here, and I was the only one for the job.
Somewhere, nearby, was the unmistakable scent of water. I scrambled forward and upward, through the tunnel, up to the light and the entrance. Blinded by the late afternoon sun, I followed the scent trail left by the mercenaries down through the rocks to a shaded clearing by a stream and threw myself face first into the cool water. I drank and drank until my belly hurt, then puked my guts out and drank some more.
I woke up nose to nose with a curious yearling buck who’d come down for a drink and decided to check me out. I sprang without thinking, and rode the deer to the ground. I broke his neck with a quick wrench, and bit deeply into the creature’s throat with a fierce joy I’d never experienced before. The blood held no revulsion to me. At that moment, it tasted better than a vanilla milkshake. Only the buck’s still-warm heart tasted better.
I flexed my bloody fingers experimentally. New talons emerged from where my fingernails used to be. It felt natural; like they’d always been there. With my fingers relaxed, the claws slid back into place and looked like thick, oddly pointed nails. It looked freaky. Not X-Men freaky, but definitely not human anymore. As long as I kept my fingers relaxed, the claws didn’t seem to affect my dexterity. Striking a match or flicking a leaf
was no problem. I wondered if my fingerprints had changed.
In the light of day, my skin was a few shades darker than I’d ever been; like a deep tan. A darker, coffee-colored pattern of jaguar spots marked my forearms and calves. My face felt unfamiliar. It didn’t belong to me anymore. My nose was broader than I remembered; my cheekbones heavier. I couldn’t tell what I looked like, but I hoped it wasn’t too bad. I’d never considered myself vain about my appearance, but hell, I’d been pretty used to the face in the mirror. I wasn’t looking forward to seeing the new me, but thinking about it didn’t make it any better. It was too late now, anyway.
The one thing I did appreciate was how clear my mind felt. It was as if I’d been living in a fog for ages, and now it was gone. My senses were sharper. On the inside, at least, I was all me again. Right down to the slow burning need for payback.
I didn’t have time to think about revenge just yet; there was more to be done. After cleaning the stink off me in the creek, I climbed back to the cave. I brought out the female Nagual first. She weighed next to nothing; her aura was so pale, there was no telling how long she’d been there. I took her snout into my mouth and breathed the healing breath of the First Jaguar into her lungs. Her eyelids fluttered, but she made no other response. There was nothing more to do for her; either she’d survive, or she wouldn’t. I lay her down next to the creek, near the carcass.
The snakelizard things went next; I shooed a dozen of them as far as the tunnel to the surface, then let them find their own way out. Next came the other creatures, most of which ignored me in their eagerness to escape, although a couple of the more grotesque forms made small flopping lunges at me on a false pretext of aggression. A couple of bright flashes with the flashlight had them turning tail and out the portal as fast as they could scurry.
The last one to go was the huge white double-tailed scorpion thing with blue eyes. A drop of poison gleamed at the tip of each of her twin stingers as she regarded me with intelligent blue eyes. She held her front hand-pinchers across her carnivorous maw like a professional boxer.