"No!"
"No, what? Do you expect me to just say I'm leaving her, take the baby and walk out without giving her a reason? You're the reason, Georgiana. You are the only reason. Do you understand that?"
Georgiana looked up. "You wouldn't take Jane?"
"No. She is Elizabeth's. I wouldn't do this to her. Never," he explained.
"Oh."
"Georgiana, do you understand what I'm telling you? If you want Jane with us, Elizabeth has to stay too. Think about all that's happened. Aunt dying, a baby coming, you being home again - then think about whether Elizabeth is really the problem."
No response.
"Is it the baby? Is that what scares you? Do you look at Elizabeth and see Anne and worry? I'm scared to death too but upsetting Elizabeth will only make it worse."
Still no response.
"She likes you. She tries to be your friend. Do you realise how much this will hurt her? She cares about you and I want us to be a family."
He wanted to shake Georgiana and shout that Elizabeth cared for her a hundred times more than Anne ever had. Elizabeth always found time to listen to a song or look at a sketch, and so far, she hadn't tried to kill Jane!
"I do like her," the girl murmured.
"Then what is it," Darcy exploded. "What? Why are you doing this?"
Darcy got a response. Georgiana slid down the wall, wrapped her arms around her knees, dropped her head, and sobbed.
"Oh, Georgie. Forgive me." Darcy squatted beside her, trying to get her to look up. "Please talk to me. Please."
Elizabeth left the sitting room with Jane and appraised the situation in front of her unhappily. The little girl ran to her father who picked her up immediately and Elizabeth in a movement, that would have made a contortionist proud, lowered herself to the floor so she was sitting a few feet from the young girl.
"I am at your mercy now," she said softly. "If you or your brother do not help me up, I am down here for good."
That got a nod from Georgiana but not a laugh. She motioned for Darcy, who was looming over his sister, to move away.
"Take a few deep breaths, Georgiana. Calm down. No one is angry with you. You know it would not be a holiday without your brother making a scene."
She was teasing but Darcy furrowed his brow, silently taking objection to that. Again, she gestured for him to be quiet.
Georgiana's head moved an inch and between sobs, she choked, "Just. Gonna. Take. Jane. Nursery. She had - sleep."
"All right," she said easily, as Darcy's stomach tightened. "Your brother can take her to the nursery. Go ahead, Mr. Darcy. Right now."
"The hell I will," he mouthed at her and she clenched her teeth and pointed toward the stairs.
Ten minutes later, Darcy was leaning on the crib where his daughter was falling asleep with her thumb wrapped around her tiny lips.
*~~*~~*
It's been several minutes since he has been looking at the bundle of letters addressed to his wife or addressed by his wife to her family. The messenger came to their house today and left this to Mrs. Darcy. It was a package made by Mrs. Teresa Daniels who had found it hidden in the library of her late husband's estate. It seemed like Mr. Daniels couldn't quite keep Elizabeth under his thumb. So he lied to her. He probably made her feel like a bad wife. A bad daughter. A bad sister. He’s intercepted the whole correspondence with her family. That is why she hasn’t wanted to see her family. She has felt ashamed and betrayed, probably too prideful as well. Her own family hasn’t wanted to have anything to do with her. Or at least she has believed that.
Darcy put the package in his desk drawer and locked it, debating whether and when he should inform his wife about the letters. He couldn't stress and hurt Elizabeth. Not now before the baby coming. This had to wait. Her health and his son were the priority now.
He sighed. As the problems with Georgiana and Lillian weren't enough.
*~~*~~*
It was barely dark but he and Elizabeth went to bed because they had run out of anything else to do - except speaking to each other, of course. When they first married, they did that all the time but now Darcy was on the sofa, listening to Elizabeth toss and turn in the bed. He kept flipping the page of his book, realising he hadn't read it and having to go back and try again.
"Are you all right?" he asked, giving up on the author's ability to hold his interest and sat up. "Is Humfrey disturbs you?"
"We are just restless. I cannot get comfortable."
He put his book aside and stole to the bed and sat on the mattress beside her, fiddling with the blankets and trying to think of something neutral to say. The doctors warned not to upset women in the family way. There were accounts of pregnant ladies being frightened by monkeys or horses and then having a deformed child that resembled that animal. Or of them having a miscarriage or going into labour because they saw or heard something shocking. Wealthy women often spent their entire pregnancy in bed, isolated from the world, just to be cautious.
Elizabeth was different and instead of spending this time safety in bed she was still running the house, taking care of Jane, him and Georgiana. She soothed the girl today, ignored Darcy's remorseful brooding, and rescued Jane's new doll when the girl put it in behind the cabinet in her papa’s library for safe keeping. Sometimes it would be easier if she was a little less resilient. He knew how to deal with fragile women but he had little experience with one who was his equal.
"What about Phillip?" he asked, putting his hand on her belly. A tiny foot pressed back, disliking the disturbance. "That's a good, Biblical name."
"Biblical?" Elizabeth asked, rearranging the pillows to get comfortable.
"One of the 12 apostles."
"What if your Phillip is a girl?"
"Then Henrietta," he drawled, still trying to get her to smile. "Henrietta Eugenia Annabelle."
"Never mind. I will have a boy."
"If he or she would just appear in the next few days, it can be named anything you want."
She nodded in agreement, closing her eyes and letting him gently press on her abdomen, feeling. By the midwife's estimate this evening, she was already a week overdue. Given the size of the baby in relation to the size of Elizabeth, the midwife had offered to break her water, which she said would hurry the baby along and sounded like a brilliant idea to Darcy. But when Elizabeth mentioned that if the baby refused to hurry along she would die, it had stopped sounding so brilliant. So they just waited, nervously on his part, miserably on Elizabeth's.
"Come on out, little guy," he leaned down and told the belly. "It's a great big world out here."
He waited for a few seconds but the belly stayed firmly in place.
Darcy hesitated and said calmly, "Elizabeth, I'm going to take Georgiana to Kent with me. She's not doing well here and I think a change of scenery might be good for her, and she misses her cousin. It will give you one less thing to keep up with."
"How long are you going to do this?"
"Do what."
"With Georgiana."
"What do you mean? She is my sister, Elizabeth. And if there was any other solution of this I would happily do that."
He flopped down, jarring the bed and the belly, and stared at the ceiling.
"I will arrange for Jane's another nursemaid to be here and a wet nurse for the baby. The midwife will also stay with you for a few weeks."
"What about Lillian?"
"I don't know. I hadn't considered it."
"You hadn't considered it..."
He turned around and looked at her face. There were tears streaming down her cheeks and to the pillow.
"Elizabeth, what-"
She quickly dried off the wet face and hid her eyes in her palm.
"You want to leave me here, all alone, with too little babies, with strangers around me, with the woman who hates me and who should be fired a long time ago. You are leaving because your little sister is telling you to-"
"No-"
"Yes. Don't lie to me, Mr. Darcy
. I talked to her today, she told me everything. You could send her to Lady Eleonora or to an aboard school. But she is making you choose between her and me and your children instead and obviously, you already made this choice."
"It isn't how it looks like-"
"Oh Mr. Darcy, please! I am not Anne! I can think by my own and see where this is going!"
"Elizabeth-"
"Please Mr. Darcy. Let me sleep. Your son has stopped kicking me and I want to make use of it as much as I can. Just leave."
"Just leave", he thought. Leave bedroom or leave Pemberley and her life? Wasn't this thing he was just doing by agreeing with Georgiana's wants? He just got a second chance at life and threw it away?
*~~*~~*
"What do you mean Lillian's taking the day off? You mean she hasn't been here all day? Why didn't you say something? You're supposed to be resting."
Elizabeth finished talk with Mrs. Reynolds, pushing her fists into the small of her back and looking at him irritably. She exhaled and tilted her head from side to side, stretching her neck muscles. "What makes you think I am not resting?"
"Why isn't Lillian here?"
Elizabeth tilted her palms upward, showing she didn't know and turned back to the library.
"She took the day off. I assumed you had told her it was all right."
"Why would I tell her that?"
"Elizabeth!" Georgiana entered library troubled by something.
The woman turned, lost her balance and landed hard on her bottom on the sofa.
"Jesus, Elizabeth," Darcy gasped. "Are you all right?"
He knelt next to her saying he was taking her to bed but Elizabeth protested indignantly until he set her on her feet. She adjusted her dress and rubbed her hip as he hovered, not sure how to help. "Go say Mrs. Reynolds to get the midwife," he ordered Georgiana, who nodded and left.
"I am fine," Elizabeth said angrily. "I don't need the midwife!"
"You should have her or even better a doctor!" Darcy argued.
"She has been here today," she hissed in his ear. "She has seen more of me than you have."
"Will you at least lie down?" Elizabeth looked like she might relent. "I'll help you upstairs."
"Why? I cannot sleep."
"Then at least sit down."
"No, I am taking a bath," Elizabeth announced all of sudden. "A long, nice bath."
"A bath?" Darcy echoed.
"A bath," she repeated, smiling as though she could taste it on her lips.
Mrs. Reynolds entered the library.
"Lillian asked to speak to you, Mr. Darcy," the housekeeper announced.
"Is she here? Great. What about the midwife?"
"After visiting Mrs. Darcy today, she probably went to Lambton. I already sent men after her."
"Thank you. Mrs. Reynolds. Please guide Mrs. Darcy to our rooms and order the water for her bath." Darcy asked. "And please send Lillian to my study. Oh, wait. No. Sent her to the back parlour and come back there when you helped Mrs. Darcy." He wasn't going to take the chance being all alone with that woman ever again!
*~~*~~*
"Where have you been?"
"I come to tell you I'm leaving, Fitzwilliam," Lillian announced. "We're leaving."
"You're what?" he said in disbelief. Lillian was minding her manners but slurring her words a little, and he wondered if she hadn't been drinking.
"I met a man. He is going up to the north and wants to take me with him."
He blinked.
"We'd start over. A new place. No one would know," she said, and Darcy knew her well enough to detect the hint of desperation in her voice.
"That's a bad idea, Lillian. You aren't thinking this through."
She bent to fasten Francis' coat and didn't answer him. Her fingers wouldn't cooperate and she struggled to get the buttons through the holes. She had been drinking, he decided. Gin probably, since he hadn't smelled alcohol.
"I don't know what's gotten into you," he said eventually. "But you're playing a dangerous game, Lillian. I think you're overestimating your hand. And I won't play. Whatever happened in Derby, if it ever happened, had nothing to do with me wanting or loving you. I thought you were Anne, or I was just acting on instinct. There's no way I forced or seduced you. If it happened… you can't imagine how used that makes me feel."
"Oh yes, I can," she responded, looking up and suddenly staring daggers through him.
"It doesn't change my responsibility, though. Whether Francis is my son," And Anne's nephew, he thought in silence. "I'll take care of him. And you. All I want is the truth."
She didn't even seem to hear him. She stood up and took boy's hand.
"Goodbye, Fitzwilliam. Take care of my Georgie. Take care of yourself."
He moved quickly, placing himself between her and the door of the parlour.
"You're not taking him. Not with some stranger."
"What are you going to do?" she countered coolly. "Keep him here? Have him shared a nursemaid with Jane? How would you explain suddenly having a bastard to your precious Elizabeth?"
"Don't underestimate me, Lillian. Don't underestimate Elizabeth. How do you know I haven't already told her?"
She recoiled and found another unprotected place to strike. "He's not yours," she said evenly, her eyes narrowing. "He could be but he's not yours any more than Ed was."
It was a blessing he was a gentleman because he would have hurt her. Instead, he demanded, "Did you say that to Georgiana? Did you? Is that what's wrong with her?"
"No, of course, I didn't tell her," she said but he couldn't tell if she was lying or not, or if he was supposed to think she was lying or not. This woman wasn't the Lillian he knew. It wasn't just the alcohol. It was as if she'd somehow become a different person but in that moment, it didn't make him hate her any less.
"Did you put Anne up to it? You had to know what was happening and she would have done whatever you told her to. Did you?" he demanded. "Did you suspect she was with child and put her up to seducing me?"
"Of course not, Fitzwilliam," she responded in the same vaguely condescending tone. "She must have just wanted you."
"Get out!" he ordered. "Get the hell out." She picked up her son and stepped into the hall, leaving without a backward glance. He remembered to close the front door after, then realised she'd gotten exactly the reaction she'd wanted.
"Let her go, Mr. Darcy," Mrs. Reynolds advised. "There's nothing about that woman that's worth a second thought."
"How much did you hear?"
"More than I intended and nothing I hadn't heard before. Please go to your wife, her bath should be ready by now."
"Thank you, Mr. Reynolds. And midwife?"
"We are still waiting for her."
*~~*~~*
He helped her pull her dress over her head. The loose chemise followed and he steadied her as she stepped over the side of the bathtub and sank into the warm water. She leaned back, closing her eyes, and an almost orgasmic sigh of pleasure rumbled from deep in her throat. Darcy pulled a stool beside the bathtub and sat, propping his hands on the edge and his chin on his hands.
There were French-milled soaps and salts and fancy oils but she seemed content to soak. The clear water reached her chest, lapping against her swollen breasts and glistening on her shoulders. Below the surface, her belly and legs were distorted and patterned with orange and yellow as the candles refracted through the water.
"I can do this part without supervision," she murmured, not opening her eyes.
"I'll stay just in case."
"Are you staring at me?"
"Probably," he admitted.
"Do not make jokes about my navel," Elizabeth requested.
"I wouldn't think of it," he heard himself answer automatically.
"So, what about Lillian?"
"Nothing."
"Did you fire her?"
"This wasn't necessary. She left." Darcy trailed his fingertips across the surface, watching the delicate ripples they left behind.
He shrugged one shoulder, unwilling to answer, ready to change the subject.
"What if I help you up and I'd like to get you to bed and I think desperate times call for desperate measures?"
She half-opened her eyes as if she thought he might be joking. "I am not sure we should…" she said softly, though the idea seemed to appeal to her. A man could talk a woman into almost anything as long as she was soaking in a bath.
"I didn't say we were going to. I just want you to relax and rest. Let me use my imagination. Or hands. Or mouth," he whispered, and she bit her lower lip. Until Georgiana returned that had been a favourite game promising in the morning what they'd do in bed at night. They hadn't done half of it but he'd spend many pleasant afternoons anticipating.
He helped her up, then carefully out of the bathtub when water cold, wrapping the warm blanket around her before she shivered. Elizabeth responded softly, looking up at him. She licked her lips and kissed the underside of his jaw and slowly down his neck to his open shirt collar.
"Elizabeth, I- I can't. Not right now. I don't think this is a good idea," he mumbled, stepping back.
His skin was warm and damp from hers, and he rubbed his throat nervously. She nodded, reaching for her wrapper, pulling the fabric around her.
"It probably seemed like a better idea before I stood up," she said, looking uncomfortable. She curved her arm around her belly, stroking.
"I do love you," he assured her.
She smiled sadly and nodded that she knew that. He tried to think of some way to explaining that he didn't find her repulsive. He just wanted to climb into the bath and scrub off his top three layers of skin before he touched her again.
He helped her to bed, tucked the covers around her and sat beside her.
"Thank you for trying, though."
"I am trying, Elizabeth. Please don't give up on me. I'm not as hopeless as I seem. And I am not going to choose Georgiana over you. This will never happen."
"I will speak to Saint Thomas about you," she teased. "He is the patron saint of doubters."
"Doubting Thomas," he responded, considering. "Patron of the blind, stonemasons, philosophers and sceptics."
Mr Darcy's Second Chance Page 17