by Phil Cooke
having a strong marriage speed
love work accuracy
education financial accountability
compassion
generosity
confidence
There are plenty of others, and you’ll no doubt have some that aren’t on this list. I’m not as interested in your specific personal priorities as much as that you realize that the sooner you understand your priorities, the sooner you’ll be able to move forward with real change.
Now that you have your priority list, use that list to filter all the changes in your life. Every job, every project, and every task you want to accomplish should fit within the framework of your priorities. Think of it as the boundary of integrity that surrounds your life.
Why? Because it keeps you focused on your goal and eliminates the time wasters in your life.
MANAGING YOUR PRIORITIES MEANS MANAGING YOUR TIME
At the highest levels of American business, time is valued more highly than money. That’s why CEOs of major corporations have private jets standing by at the airport. With a private jet, they can leave at the last minute, bypass all the airport security checks and ticket counters, arrive at a meeting one thousand miles away, and be back home in their own beds that night, ready to be in the office first thing in the morning. If they took a commercial flight, they would have to leave the office much earlier, endure all the hardships of modern-day travel, possibly miss the last flight back, spend the night in a local hotel, and then miss half the next day flying back home.
It’s all about time. The more time an executive can spend leading his or her company instead of sitting on an airplane, the more valuable he or she is and the more profit the company can make.
The Bondage of E-mail
Remember when we used to actually be productive? Now most employees spend their day managing e-mails. In fact, recent studies indicate that 40 percent of a typical employee’s day is spent sending or receiving e-mail. I like writer Julie Morgenstern’s advice: never check your e-mail in the morning. Julie discovered the incredible time-suck of e-mail and learned that when you check e-mail first thing in the morning, the next thing you realize is that it’s lunchtime and you’re still managing e-mail messages. She realized it’s much better to focus first on the top priority of the day. You’ll see your productivity shoot up.
The technology that was supposed to free us up has simply created handcuffs, especially when it comes to smartphones, iPads, and other handheld devices. I recently met three very successful business leaders for dinner in San Diego. Great restaurant, fabulous meal, engaging conversation—except for one thing. One of the guests simply could not put down his BlackBerry. In spite of the atmosphere, excellent dinner companions, and fascinating discussion, he was chained to the device and could only put it down long enough to occasionally take a bite of his steak.
I wanted to smash it on the floor and ask what potential message could be so important that he was willing to sacrifice being in the moment with face-to-face friends?
Short Moments Matter
A few years ago, I started focusing my time on quick but positive goals. For instance, before, if I had fifteen minutes with nothing to do, I would assume it wasn’t enough time to accomplish anything, so I would just chat with someone or get a soft drink from the kitchen. But once I began managing my time, I was amazed to learn just how much can be done in fifteen minutes. I could clean my desk, organize my files, edit a magazine article, make a phone call, back up my computer, jot down some creative new ideas, and more. With just little snippets of time, I now can harvest enormous productivity.
All because I made time a priority.
Things which matter most must never be at the mercy of things which matter least.
—GOETHE
Priorities do not come second nature without our thinking about them. We have to constantly remind ourselves of priorities and keep them in the forefront of our minds. It’s not about losing our way—after all, most of us won’t suddenly wake up and lose our integrity, honesty, or desire for independence. In the rush and noise of modern living, however, it’s easy to let our priorities get pushed into the background of our lives. Even though I’ve experienced a rush of productivity and accomplishment after learning to manage my time, I still have a tendency to watch too much TV, hang out with the guys, and waste time at the computer. Good time management is a daily discipline, just like working out at the gym.
One important aspect of not managing your priorities well is that you don’t lose them all at once. Priorities are traded off a piece at a time. In the case of time management, you don’t suddenly become a slob. More likely, you show up late for an appointment or miss a meeting. Then you waste a little time in the afternoons and start to enjoy it. Little by little, the priority gets shoved farther and farther back into the pile.
Therefore everyone who hears these words of mine and puts them into practice is like a wise man who built his house on the rock. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock. But everyone who hears these words of mine and does not put them into practice is like a foolish man who built his house on sand. The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house, and it fell with a great crash. (Matthew 7:24–27 niv)
Jesus taught about the importance of a solid foundation for your life. In the same way, priorities are the ground you build your future on because they anchor the rest of your life. With your priorities in order, you can build any type of structure because integrity, honesty, physical health, good time management, and other positive priorities can withstand any change or challenge you face.
Don’t spend your life looking over your shoulder in fear because you lied on that report, cheated on your spouse, or transposed the final budget numbers to make the company look better. Don’t join the office gossip that could damage an employee’s future because it might help you move ahead. And don’t trade your reputation for stock options, a bonus, or a promotion.
Your priorities are your foundation. Make sure they are the kind that last, and make sure they reflect your values, your aspirations, and your life.
Too many people spend too many years working in jobs that don’t really reflect their personal priorities. As a result, every day their jobs are like sandpaper, rubbing against their spirits until they’re raw and painful. It’s like playing for the wrong team or helping the enemy.
The money may be great, your office window might have a gorgeous view, and your business card may have a fantastic title. But if you have to compromise your priorities, the price is too high. Priorities are something to value, develop, and cherish. Without them, you’re drifting without a compass, a map, or a guide.
We all have friends who have made poor choices. In most cases, they made those bad choices because they didn’t have the right priorities. Would you rather live your life with the pain of tough choices now or the pain of regret later?
» JOLT #7
BETTER CHOICES
The Keys to Strong Decision Making
It is our choices . . . that show what we truly are, far more than our abilities.
—J. K. ROWLING, HARY POTTER AND THE CHAMBER OF SECRETS
When you have to make a choice and don’t make it, that in itself is a choice.
—WILLIAM JAMES, NOVELIST
Everything that happens in our lives happens because of a choice. Do I get out of bed this morning? Do I go to work? Do I feed my family? Do I acquire the new company? Do I clean the house? Do I prepare for that big report? Do I read that new book on changing my life? Ever y day is an endless chain of decisions.
I’m a television producer and director, and from the moment I step onto the studio set, I’m faced with an unrelenting string of questions. Lighting, makeup, acting, staging, design, film, on and on. Actors asking about their performances, lighting options for the scene. What do we shoot first? What’s the camera
angle? The job of directing a television program or movie is an endless job of making choices.
Today, instead of choices and decisions, we live in a world where people are desperately looking for excuses. The “blame someone else” mentality has seeped into the very fabric of our culture to the point where frivolous lawsuits clog our courts and waste hundreds of millions of dollars each year. When we make a mistake, we want it to be anyone’s fault but our own. We refuse to take responsibility for our decisions, and as a result, we’ve created a culture of blame. We spill coffee in our lap, and it’s the restaurant’s fault because the coffee’s too hot. We murder our neighbor, and it’s because of our conflicted childhoods. We have sexual affairs because we’re under too much stress. We cheat on tests at school because everyone else is doing it. The list continues.
Embracing change means taking responsibility for our own decisions.
I believe that we are solely responsible for our choices, and we have to accept the consequences of every deed, word, and thought throughout our lifetime.
—ELISABETH KüBLER-ROSS, PSYCHIATRIST
You are at the point you are in life today because of a string of decisions you made yesterday. I call it the “waterfall effect” because every choice we make in life has consequences “downstream.” In his book Awaken the Giant Within, Anthony Robbins put it this way:
As you look back over the last ten years, were there times when a different decision would have made your life radically different from today, either for better or for worse? Maybe, for example, you made a career decision that changed your life. Or maybe you failed to make one. Maybe you decided during the last ten years to get married—or divorced. You might have purchased a tape, a book, or attended a seminar and, as a result, changed your beliefs and actions. Maybe you decided to start exercising, or to give it up. It could be that you decided to stop smoking. Maybe you decided to move to another part of the country, or to take a trip around the world. How have these decisions brought you to this point in your life? (33).
It’s not our environments, the people around us, or the conditions of our lives that determine our futures; it’s the personal choices we make or don’t make. Certainly, people who have grown up in abusive families, been surrounded by negative people, or been the victims of crime, extreme poverty, or physical handicaps have challenges most of us know little about and can hardly understand. But even within the context of a horrible upbringing, physical handicap, or negative situation, it’s the choices we make in the context of those situations that make the real difference in our lives.
Actor Christopher Reeve could have easily given up after his freak horseback riding accident left him a quadriplegic, tethered to a breathing machine. Everyone would have understood if, after a successful life as a movie star, he had shrunk back and faced the rest of his life in resignation and defeat.
But Christopher Reeve chose a different path. He chose to be a fighter, an activist, and a role model to millions of people with and without physical limitations. He made a choice. In spite of his conditions, circumstances, and limitations, he made a positive decision to move forward.
Your ability to change your life is directly connected to your ability to make choices and to take responsibility for those choices.
» YOUR DAILY DECISIONS DETERMINE YOUR DESTINY.
Working in Hollywood, I’ve met lots of people who want to produce movies. At parties or social gatherings, they’re quick to talk about their movie idea and how they’re going to write an award-winning screenplay. They have the greatest goals and aspirations but never seem to actually get anything down on paper.
They have the desire to do it, but they have never made the decision to do it. Decision is always the by-product of commitment. When you commit to reaching a goal, you make a decision—a choice—and things start happening.
Good plans shape good decisions. That’s why good planning helps to make elusive dreams come true.
—LESTER R. BITTEL, WRITER
The desire to make good choices is one thing; actually making those choices when the time comes is quite another. It’s one thing to decide you’re going to stop drinking, but it’s another thing to make that choice at the next party when the hostess hands you a martini. It’s one thing to decide to deal with pornography, but another thing to make the right choice when you’re in the office alone and realize how easy it is to find it on the Internet. It’s easy to think about one day going back to college but never quite get around to signing up for a class.
Intentions and actions. Two different things.
We’re not retreating, we’re just advancing in another direction.
—GENERAL GEORGE S. PATTON
Every great leader has wrestled with difficult decisions. The cornerstone of great leadership is the ability to see information and then make the correct decision—even if that information is incomplete or inaccurate. In the business world, top executives aren’t paid millions of dollars to carry briefcases, analyze data, or run meetings. They’re paid to make decisions. At the highest corporate levels, billions of dollars hang in the balance, and correct decisions are critical.
Making those types of choices sometimes takes great courage. In Fast Company magazine, Senator John McCain wrote:
Without courage, all virtue is fragile: admired, sought after, professed, but held cheaply and surrendered without a fight. Winston Churchill called courage “the first of human qualities . . . because it guarantees all the others.” That’s what we mean by the courage of our convictions . . .
Love makes courage necessary. And it’s love that makes courage possible for all of us to possess. You get courage by loving something more than your own well-being. When you love virtue, when you love freedom, when you love other people, you find the strength to demand courage of yourself and those who aspire to lead you. Only then will you find the courage, as Eleanor Roosevelt put it, “to do the thing you think you cannot do.” (emphasis added)
Writer E. M. Forster said, “Either life entails courage, or it ceases to be life.” The kind of courage you display doesn’t have to happen on the battlefield or in a corporate boardroom. Courage happens when a mom speaks up at a PTA meeting, a worker defends a fellow employee wrongly criticized at the office, or a person makes the decision to confront a friend about suspected drug abuse.
Courage is what takes you from intention to action and from debate to decision.
Begin today. Every time you procrastinate making a choice, you take a detour on the road of change. Success is simply the result of a lifetime of choices, and every day you delay puts your future success on hold.
Here are the secrets I’ve discovered for making better choices in life:
1. FIND THE BEST INFORMATION AVAILABLE.
Great decision makers are great learners. They know that making decisions is about balancing information and that often the person with the best information wins. What changes do you want to make in your life? Whatever the change, get the right information first.
Want to stop drinking? Find as much information as you can about treatment programs. Find the right program for you, and make a good decision.
Want to advance in your career? Read books, listen to podcasts or audio-books, scour trade magazines, go to the right seminars and conferences. Learn everything you can about the next level in your career so that you can make the best decisions possible.
Need to go back to school? There are lots of colleges out there, and amazing numbers of people fail because they simply can’t make a decision on which college to attend. Check schools out on the Internet, order catalogs and brochures, visit a few in person. Get the right information to be sure it’s the best choice and offers what you need, at the right location, and fits your budget.
No intelligent decision can be made without the right information, so to make the right choices, do your homework first.
One’s philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes . . . and the
choices we make are ultimately our responsibility.
—ELEANOR ROOSEVELT
2. FIND GOOD DECISION MAKERS AND LEARN FROM THEM.
Who are the people you know who make the best choices? They don’t have to be high-level business leaders. One might be a soccer mom who understands the power of good decisions. Perhaps it’s your pastor or a friend in the community. You are surrounded by people who make choices every day. Find the ones who make strong choices and spend time with them—especially those who wrestle with the same types of challenges you face.
Early in my life, I learned the power of associating with successful people. I heard a story about a successful businessman who was frustrated that he was only making five hundred thousand dollars a year. By most standards, he was rich, but he wanted to move to the next salary level. At a business conference, he met a highly motivated real estate agent who was making more than one million dollars a year and asked the agent his secret. The real estate agent replied, “It’s about association. I decided I wanted access to million-dollar ideas, so I associate with million-dollar people.”
That real estate agent was right. Whatever your salary or career level, if you want to get to the next step, stop spending so much time with people at your level and begin to stretch. Find people at the level you want to reach and begin associating with them. Is this snobbish? Absolutely not. There’s nothing snobbish about feeding a champion athlete expensive food because coaches know that what goes into an athlete dictates how well he or she will perform. If you want to perform better in your family, in your company, in your relationships, or in your personal life, start feeding yourself from the riches of successful people.
I believe it would be a safe assumption that the great majority of people work at jobs in which they find very little personal satisfaction. Without proper training on how to make wise choices in one’s life, the chances are very slim anyone will make them.
—SIDNEY MADWED, MOTIVATIONAL WRITER