by Lauren Dane
“Don’t you trust me?”
She cocked her head and looked him over. “Depends on the issue.”
He frowned. He wanted to argue, but he couldn’t. He had no ground to stand on because he had failed her. He’d have to prove himself.
“Fair enough.”
* * *
“WELL, LOOKS LIKE I’ve missed some stuff,” Ross said as he came into the kitchen. His tone had a lot of anger and tension in it, which meant what? That he was mad about Vaughan in general or that he’d eavesdropped?
“Good morning to you, too. What stuff?”
“You have a new lodger, I see.” Ross gave a jerk of his head, indicating Vaughan.
This was a sort of angry she hadn’t seen in Ross before. Terse. Clearly agitated. It wasn’t as if he’d walked in on them doing anything untoward at all.
“We do. Vaughan is going to stay in the guest room while Maddie recovers.” Kelly decided to just ignore his snit and move on.
Everyone shifted, uncomfortable, and Kelly stood there, staring at them both. Her life used to be a lot more simple.
“Is there a problem?” Vaughan asked Ross.
Kelly hit her enough point. “Why are you asking him? This is my house.”
Both men looked to her, surprised. As if they were shocked she had an opinion about something happening in her own damned kitchen.
Kensey and Stacey came downstairs before anything else broke out.
Kelly dried her hands. “I’m going upstairs to finish getting ready. We can ride to the hospital together, Vaughan.” She bent to kiss Kensey, who had already caught sight of her dad and headed his way.
Ross followed her up the stairs and into her room. Ross was nearly perfect, but his anger tended to be passive-aggressive and she realized she had no energy to play along. This was extra annoying and she wasn’t interested. If he wanted to say something he needed to do it without some big pouty game.
He sighed dramatically a few times but she pretended he was one of the girls and ignored it while she changed into a nicer shirt.
Ruthlessly, she only allowed herself enough time at the mirror to make sure the ponytail she’d redone was neat.
Finally, Ross met her as she came back into the bedroom from her closet. “He’s here too much.”
“Vaughan? The guy whose kid is in the hospital?”
“He doesn’t give a shit about them. He wants to use them to get close to you. They’re tools to him.” It was such a hateful, wrong thing to say she physically took a step back. Ross noted her reaction and sighed, agitation in the sound.
“That sort of thing demeans you, me and Vaughan, too. Whatever his faults, he absolutely does care about them. He’s supposed to be here when they need him, and the things you just said really piss me off.”
“You didn’t even ask me if he could stay here.”
“Uh. No, I didn’t. Mainly because I didn’t know about it until this morning. He told me he was going to stay in Portland while Maddie was healing up and that he wanted to be helpful with the girls. Am I supposed to say no? That’s a haul for him. I have a big house. His children live here. It made sense to offer.” And she didn’t need to run it by him! He hung out with his ex and her family all the time.
“I’m uncomfortable with him being here.”
Kelly didn’t want him uncomfortable. Or upset or sad or any of that. “Why?” She sat on the edge of the bed.
“He’s your ex-husband.”
“You sleep at your ex-wife’s house at least four times a year. You hang out with her and her family every weekend.”
“That’s different.”
“Why is that?” She hated to keep asking why, but she just wasn’t getting his deal when he did the same thing.
“My kids are there!”
“And mine are here.”
“I don’t want him staying here. And you do.” He said it like he’d never imagined such a thing.
“Well, we aren’t going to agree on everything.” She needed to break the engagement. She should say it right then. It wasn’t fair to either of them. But she had enough drama right then. She just wanted to get her kid home from the hospital. And as annoyed as she was, there was no call to be hurtful. When she broke it off it didn’t need to happen in a house where Vaughan was.
“If you let him stay here we can’t be together. It’s me or him.” Ross couldn’t have known it, but he’d tossed the ultimatum out in a way nearly identical to Vaughan, when he’d tossed out his go ahead and divorce me then if you’re so unhappy eight years ago.
Well, that just made her mad all over again. “You had your ex-wife stay at your house for three weeks when she got a nose job. And she has family in town. I never said a single thing about that.” Though, boy, she’d wanted to a few times. His ex-wife was one of those superhelpless types. He was constantly fixing things at her house. If her internet went down she called him about it. For three weeks she’d camped in Ross’s bedroom while Ross slept in the guest room and paid for daytime help when for heaven’s sake she’d had a nose job, not a liver transplant.
But this was the mother of his children, and Kelly had trusted him to make the choices he thought were best for his kids. And he wasn’t doing that for her.
“That was different. She needed me. He doesn’t need you. You don’t need him. You and the girls are better off without him and his influence anyway.”
“What the hell are you talking about? Influence?” Kelly asked.
“He’s not good for the girls. They need to spend less time with him, not more. Inviting him into your home doesn’t fit those goals.”
“Whose goals are those?”
“Naturally, when we marry, I’ll adopt the girls. Once he can’t have you anymore he’ll lose interest anyway.”
Kelly went very cold. “You know my story and you’d actually suggest I hold my children away from their dad? Are you kidding me?”
“I’ll be their father. That’s for the best. Can’t you see that? I’ll take Kensey for the day and you can tell him he can’t stay here when he goes to the hospital with you. I’m not like your father. I’ll take care of them. I’ll protect them from harm. He will only bring pain.”
She tried to find words but ended up looking like a goldfish as she kept opening and closing her mouth. “You can’t possibly be serious. Where is all this coming from?” It was absurd.
“Don’t you think I can see how he watches you? He lives the kind of life that’s wrong for you. He cheated on you. He doesn’t value you.”
She blew out a breath, trying to find patience but she was nearing the end of her rope. “Ross, I didn’t know you felt this way.”
“Well, you do now. I’m sorry I have to insist, but that’s how it is. I’ll tell him if you feel uncomfortable doing it.” He crossed his arms over his chest as if the matter was settled.
“That’s not going to happen. You’re going to get hold of yourself and realize you’re being ridiculous and saying things you don’t mean. Saying things you can’t take back,” she added. “I invited him to stay and I’m not rescinding that invitation. It would be rude. It’d give the girls a bad message. I want him to be an involved father. The girls love him. He loves them. End of story. Imagine yourself in his place. If one of your children had been in the hospital. You’d never leave their side. Which is how it’s supposed to work. Show some empathy.”
“I don’t want him here. He’s trying to take my place. If I can’t be around during this time, he’ll get all the time with Maddie. Building trust with her. I could be doing that. Experiences like that are important in creating long-term bonds in blended families.”
“I don’t think I can marry you.” In her head, it had sounded like a panicked blurted wail. Surprisingly, her voice remained calm. Once she said the words she
had to fight the overwhelming urge to fall face-first on the bed with relief.
“What?” Ross paused, surprise on his handsome features.
“You’ll make someone a good husband, but I’m not for you. You’re not for me. Not in a let’s-get-married-and-merge-our-lives way.”
“I don’t understand,” he said.
“You demanded that I choose you or Vaughan. This doesn’t have anything to do with him. I’m choosing me and my children.”
“You don’t mean that. We’re good together.” Ross still didn’t get it.
Honestly, she wanted to go to the hospital, pick Maddie up and grab Kensey, running away from everyone who wanted to make all her choices.
It wasn’t that they’d been bad together. Just two days before he’d been lovely to her by showing up at the hospital. Only now she realized it was some sort of territory marking with Vaughan.
“I think we were good together, too. But not in a forever way. I’m not going to make you happy. This is going to come up over and over in our marriage. You’re not going to adopt them! They have parents and neither of us would sign away our rights to Maddie and Kensey like that. I’m frankly really disgusted that you’d ever think I’d want such a thing. Or that you’d want it. What would it do to my children to have their father sign them away as if they were property?”
She pulled off the beautiful engagement ring he’d given her three months before and put it in his palm.
“I’d have treated you like a queen. He’s going to hurt you again. That’s what men like him do. And then what will happen to your children? I hope to God they don’t take after their mother when it comes to picking losers to love.”
She knew he was hurt and striking out, but she’d had enough.
“You need to leave now before either of us says anything more. I’ll go through everything over the next two days and whatever is here I’ll bring to your house. I wish you the best and I hope after a while that we can remain friends.”
She led the way to the door, opening it and heading downstairs. She wanted him out of her house before he came out of his stupor and decided to make a scene.
Laughter came from the family room where Stacey and Kensey were playing Go Fish for probably the nineteenth time. Kelly unlocked the door to the garage and then opened the bay, letting the door to the house close behind them.
“Here.” Kelly pulled the keys to his house—for emergencies as she still always knocked when she came over to visit him—from her key ring and handed them his way. “It’s easier for you to give mine back, too. Since we’re already here and all.”
She stared at him until he handed her keys over. Near the open door to the driveway, Kelly spotted the air pump she’d borrowed for the basketball and handed it over, stepping into the open of the driveway. “This is yours.”
“You can’t just dump me like this.” He kept his voice low and Kelly wanted to keep it that way.
“I’m not dumping you. I’m ending our engagement. You clearly have some major issues with things that I’m not willing to change. You and me, that’s one thing. But this is way more than that. This is something we can’t get past and so we’ll only keep hurting one another, and that’s not what marriage should be.” It was as if someone else had taken control of her speech center. As angry and upset as she was, her daughter was inside and she couldn’t allow it to spill over into their lives.
“When you come to your senses you know where to find me. I’m sorry if I was overzealous. But I feel quite strongly. We’re all better off without Vaughan Hurley in our lives.”
“Please. Leave. I can’t believe I have to tell you this, but I won’t ever choose anyone over Madeline and Kensey. You’d expect me to put their needs and emotional well-being behind your feelings? That’s not how it works.”
Ross started to speak again but shook his head, turned and stalked to his car. She went back into the garage once he’d driven away and headed into the house.
CHAPTER FIVE
ALL DAY VAUGHAN had managed not to comment on the way Ross had come and gone that morning. They hadn’t had much time alone anyway. His parents had arrived and had stayed at the house with Kensey and Stacey while Vaughan and Kelly had gone to pick Maddie up.
And then his mom and dad had stayed for several hours. Kelly had been friendly enough, though reserved, but everyone was tired and it was time for guests to go.
Yesterday Vaughan would have been considered a guest like that, too. But now he could step in and start showing Kelly he was serious about being around.
Finally, he got his dad alone and asked nicely for them to go. “I’ll bring Maddie by to see you guys when she’s better. Or you can come back later in the week. She needs it to be quiet now.”
His father smiled and clapped his shoulder. “I’ve been waiting a long time for you to step up for them. Before we go, take a walk with me.”
Vaughan and his father headed outside. “You have a tool kit here, or know where one is? I noticed this step is a little loose.” His dad pointed to the wooden swing set and climbing wall.
“Garage probably.”
Kelly, as it turned out, did have a pretty adequate set of tools so he and his dad were able to fix the step relatively easily.
“What are you doing here, son?” his father asked as they put the tools back.
“I want this.” Vaughan indicated the land, the house, all it represented. “I want it with them. With Kelly and our daughters.”
“How does she feel about that?”
“I haven’t said anything to her about the wanting-her-back part. Not yet. But I said I wanted to be around as Maddie recovered. I have felt like a visitor in my daughter’s life. It was Kelly who handled this whole thing. She made the decisions. She kept herself together the whole time. I had all of you. She had no one and she did it and pretty much took care of me, too. I should have been there for her to lean on. For the girls to lean on. But I wasn’t.”
The shame of it crawled over his skin.
“You were, but not in the way you could have been. Or should have been. You love them, they love you. So what did Kelly say when you told her you wanted to be around for Maddie as she recovered?”
His dad was clearly going to be blunt.
“She offered to let me stay in her guest room for a few weeks. She didn’t seem to take it seriously when I said I wanted to pitch in and help with the girls. But I’m going to prove her wrong.”
“That’s a good sign. What’s going to happen with the fiancé? I notice he wasn’t here today.”
“He came into the room right after she’d invited me to stay. He wasn’t pleased. They went upstairs for several minutes and then she led him outside to the garage. I heard her tell him to leave. I heard a bunch of stuff. She broke the engagement but hasn’t told me yet.” He didn’t need to tell his dad exactly what Ross had said about him. It was enough that Kelly had reacted the way she had.
“This is your second chance. It’s going to require every last bit of your attention, commitment and concentration and then three hundred percent more than that for you to be worthy of that. Don’t give up. I know you can do this,” his father said.
“I made mistakes. A lot of them.”
“You did. She did, too, I imagine.”
Vaughan shrugged. “We probably could have gotten through her mistakes. I crashed us into a ditch and walked away.”
Michael leaned back against the wall after they’d put the tools back. “I’ve learned a thing or two over my life. You can’t undo what you did. You can’t go back and erase it. That damage is done, boy. You made it. It hurts and it should. You fucked up.”
A bubble of inappropriate laughter snuck from Vaughan’s belly. Their dad was the calm one in the family. Fuck wasn’t a word he used very often.
�
��I did. God help me, I did.” Vaughan scrubbed his hands over his face. “I didn’t know what I had. I didn’t... I thought it would be easy to find it again someday. When I was ready. But it wasn’t easy because what I had was special and I don’t think I was ready to truly understand how special until now. And it might be too late, which sounds like some messed-up curse or something.”
“Being a man means standing up when you’ve done wrong. It’s not easy, but it’s what you do. For your children and the woman you’re trying to win back. We raised you right. All four of you boys have had your challenges, but your mother and I expect nothing less from you than success.”
“Thanks for the advice and for the ear.”
“I’m your dad. It’s my job and my privilege to help when I can. You know where I am the next time you need me.”
They went back inside where his mother had gathered their things and was ready to get back on the road to Hood River. His mom had been pretty cordial to Kelly, who continued to keep Sharon Hurley at arm’s length.
She didn’t come out with him when his parents left, but his mom thanked Kelly for letting them be around, and Kelly thanked them for coming over.
It was a small start. Something he could work with.
Stacey and Kensey came downstairs, Kensey’s hand tucked in Stacey’s before she dashed over to Vaughan. “I like it that you’re here!”
“Hey, darlin’, I like it, too.”
“I’m going to head home.” Stacey hugged Kelly. “Call me later to check in. If you need anything and I find out you didn’t ask me for it we’re going to rumble.”
Kensey giggled madly at that.
“I promise. Thank you for coming back.” Kelly hugged her friend one last time before she headed out and then it was just the four of them. Vaughan and his women.
“What’s next?” Vaughan asked.
“Kensey needs to finish her book report and I need to do laundry.”
“I have to go to school tomorrow? Maddie will be home and she’ll have Daddy all to herself and that’s not fair. I won’t miss anything important. Let me stay home, too.”