by Olivia Howe
Now, we're on our way to a secret location to spend our weekend in Utopia to try to relieve some stress.
Love, Nina
* * * *
Andrew refuses to tell me where he's taking me. All I know is Andrew wants to have a weekend away with me. He thought of this grand idea because I've been having extremely horrible and vivid nightmares about Gavin.
"Can I at least have one hint?" I whine to Andrew for information. I hate surprises. I always have. I'm going to find out sooner or later, so why not surprise me with telling me sooner rather than later.
"Why can't you just let it be a surprise?" Andrew whines back.
"You know I hate surprises," I inform him.
"One hint," Andrew smiles. My eyes go wide and I start to get antsy. "We're going to a place my mother used to talk about all the time. She called it her utopia."
"Where?" I ask.
"Nina, I gave you your one hint. Now, be patient," Andrew demands with a smile.
"That's impossible," I announce as I stare out the car window and watch the trees fly past me at a fast speed.
* * * *
Andrew turns down a dirt road and flashes me a smile. "We're almost there," he announces. I look around at my surroundings. All I see is trees and more trees. Where is he taking me? Is this his mom's place of happiness?
We arrive at a small log cabin, out in the middle of nowhere. The cabin overlooks a huge lake with a dock.
I step out of the car and a sweet wilderness smell hits me right in the face. It smells like the Madsen house. The scents I'm smelling gives me goosebumps and the evening sky is beautiful.
"It's so," I pause in shock, "peaceful."
"It's nice, isn't it?" Andrew asks with a glorious smile plastered on his handsome face. I nod my head in agreement. “It's my parent's cabin. It's been here for like a hundred years. Every time my mom was sad or felt like giving up on life, she came here and suddenly all of her stress just disappeared.”
I watch Andrew as he speaks about his mother. He misses her. I can tell by the way he says her name. Even though Eva abanded him and his siblings, nothing will ever stand in the way of the love of a son for his mother. No matter what mistakes she has made, she will always be his mother and nothing can change that. Not even the distance between them.
“I'll grab our bags,” Andrew announces. “I'll meet you inside.” I look at him and nod.
I make my way up the squeaky wooden stairs. My hand glides against the rough, splintering railing. The porch has two rocking chairs on it, facing the road. They must have been Eva and Samuel's chairs.
I reach for the door and open it softly. The door begins to creak its way open. You can definitely tell that this cabin is old. I can't believe it has been here for over a hundred years. It's like I'm walking into Andrew's past.
As I peak my head inside, it looks like another home away from home for the Madsen family. I walk through the door and enter the living room. There is a brown couch with a rainbow colored quilt folded neatly over the cushions. In front of the couch is a fire place. That doesn't surprise me. The Madsen's are known for their fire addictions.
Off from the living room is the kitchen. I walk farther through the cabin and find three bedrooms. The first one I stop at must be Eva and Samuel's room, as it's the largest. The next one I peek into I devise is the one that Andrew and William shared. I went farther down the hall and see what must be Alex's room
I feel like I'm in Andrew's parent's house and I'm about to stay over for the first time, just without his parents present. I wonder where they are at this exact moment. I wonder if they're thinking about Andrew, William, and Alex. I wonder if they're ever going to make their way back to their kids.
“You like it?” Andrew asks as he startles me away from my thoughts.
“I love it. It's perfect,” I smile at him as I make my way back to the living room.
“I come here sometimes. When I feel sad or stressed out, I come here and it helps me just like it helped my mother,” Andrew speaks quietly.
“Thank you for bringing me here,” I tilt my head and flash him a smile.
He walks over to me and takes my face into his hands. His eyes meet mine and then, before I know it, my lips are touching his and I'm up in his arms. This is going to be a remarkable weekend.
* * * *
Andrew and I lay on the brown couch in front of the roaring fire. Our naked bodies are curled up next to each other, with only a sheet covering us. This feels perfect. I don't want to move. I want to press pause and stay here for a lifetime, maybe longer.
After a while, Andrew gets up and begins to put his pants back on. I lick my lips and can't help but stare at his sexy, muscular body. “Caught you,” Andrew says with a laugh. “You like what you see?”
“Mmm, I sure do,” I murmur.
He walks over to me, shirtless, and leans down to press his soft lips against mine. “Get up. I want to show you something.”
I stand up and begin to wrap the sheet around my body to cover myself up. I look up at Andrew and smile. “You like what you see?” I joke.
“Is that even a question, baby? I love what I see.” Andrew pulls me close to him and kisses my lips.
He takes my hand and leads me out onto the back porch that overlooks the lake. The moon is shining brighter than I've seen it in a while, and the light from it is reflecting onto the flat surface of the lake. Millions of stars twinkle in the midnight sky. The cool wind is blowing, making me shiver. I tilt my head and breathe in the scent of the fresh lake water. “This is,” I break off into silence for a second. “This is so beautiful.”
"Just like you." Andrews winks. "Would you like to lay under the stars and talk?"
I give him a big smile, "I would love that."
He takes my hand and raises it to his mouth, kissing the black heart ring he gave me. "I'll be right back."
Andrew returns with a blanket, takes my hand, and leads me toward the lake. Arriving on the bank, he spreads the blanket out, lays down, and pulls me down with him. My head rests on his chest and I gaze up at the midnight sky.
“What are your parents like?” I ask. I've been wondering that question for a while now. It seems like the right time to ask.
“My mom is a beautiful woman. She was so understanding and loyal. Family always came first to her. We were her life. I know she would love you, Nina. She would absolutely adore you,” Andrew explains.
“Tell me a story about her,” I ask curiously. “Anything at all.”
Andrew stares up at the stars. “I remember one time I was helping her scrub the dishes. It was a little after dark. William and Alex were asleep. My dad was off doing something. We were sitting there, and she looked at me and smiled. I asked her why she was smiling, and she kept looking at me while her smile grew wider. She then said, 'Andrew, my darling, one day you will make a woman very happy. You will love her unconditionally and shower her with happiness. One day, my son. One day you will make someone very happy.' I remember it so clearly. She always told me I was a very unique person,” Andrew says. I see tears start to form in his dark eyes.
“She seems wonderful. My dad always told me I was a very unique person, as well,” I tell him.
“I guess we're two unique beings that belong together,” he laughs at his own words. I love his laugh. It's contagious.
I watch Andrew's face as he studies the night sky and ask him, "What was your dad like?"
Andrew inhales deeply at my question. “I wasn't close to my father. He was always distant toward me, and I don't know why. Don't get me wrong, he could be nice, but I just never really got along with him. The same goes for William, but Alex was his little baby, his little girl. He spoiled her. I just never really talked with my father, even though we lived in the same house. The only time I would hear him say my name is if my mother wanted me, I did something wrong, or a chore needed to be finished.” His voice grows quiet, and he clears his throat. “He loved my mother very much. She was his l
ife.”
“Well, I think she sounds like an amazing woman,” I admit with complete honesty.
Andrew looks at me with glossy, dark eyes. He smiles and kisses me softly. “She is an amazing woman. One day we will meet again, either on this side or the other,” Andrew admits as his hand holds mine tightly. I hope he gets to see her on this side.
Chapter 4
Prom
Dear Diary,
Every once in a while, I believe everyone has to get away from their normal surroundings. Stress is overwhelming and too much to handle at times. Sometimes it's just healthy to get away from society and have a peaceful weekend. Everyone deserves it once in a while.
Getting away with Andrew helped me clear my head from the awful nightmares of Gavin. I didn't have a nightmare the whole weekend I spent with Andrew. I really hope the horrible dreams stay away forever! Time will tell.
Love, Nina
* * * *
The sun is shining brightly through my window this morning. I can feel the cool breeze filling my room. Right at this moment, I know today is going to be a good day.
My schedule today consists of school and work. That's usually what my day is like. It's like my weekdays are on constant repeat, but I'm not complaining. Getting an education and having a job keeps me busy. I would like to be out of the house doing something, rather than sitting at home, bored out of my mind, being lazy and sitting on the couch.
I walk out of my room and go into the bathroom. I decide against taking a shower. Instead, I brush my teeth and throw my hair up in a pony tail.
I return to my room and throw on my usual ensemble, a pair of jeans and a v-neck shirt.
I make my way down the stairs and into the kitchen. I find Ali there, cooking breakfast. She looks like she's having a really good day already. She is wearing a bright shirt to match her bright smile. "It's beautiful outside," Ali informs me as she's buttering the toast.
"I know," I agree, "There's a nice breeze coming through my window."
"I'm thinking about getting outside today to paint," Ali explains with excitement and then starts humming a song.
"I think that's a great idea, mom," I say in encouragement.
I sit here at the kitchen table, waiting for Andrew. We're going to be late. I keep looking up at the clock and catch myself tapping my fingernails on the hard surface of the wooden table.
Ali walks up to me and puts her hand over mine to end the obnoxious noise. "Why is Andrew late? Maybe I should drive you to school today."
"No, it's fine." I hear a knock at the door. "Finally."
I open the front door. "You're late."
"I'm sorry, love. I got caught up in some things."
We get into the car and I play some music. "Wish You Were Here" by Pink Floyd starts playing out of the speakers.
"Wish you were here," the song says. Thinking about the lyrics, thoughts of my dad pops into my head. I wish he was here with me right now. I wish he could meet Andrew, I really think they would get along. My dad would approve of him because Andrew is polite and respectful, but no one would be perfect for his little girl. Perfect guys don't truly exist. Everyone has their imperfections.
My dad always said that no guy could amount to what I deserve. My dad was always protective of his little girls. He truly did love us, I know that for a fact.
The thought of my father won't leave my mind. I can't think of him right now, but I also can't fight the thought of him away. I want to start crying. I want to just let it all out, but I can't. I won't let Andrew see me like that again. I don't want anyone to know how vulnerable I still am. Weakness is not an option to show right now. I don't want to continue to live up to my title as, "the girl that is emotionally broken."
The car comes to a stop in a parking spot at the school. I sit here staring aimlessly out of my front window. The sun is shining brightly outside. It's beautiful.
I take a deep breath and open my door.
As I begin to daydream about a world that my father still exists in, the first bell rings. Reality sinks in, and I have about five minutes to make it to my class or I get marked down as late for school.
I start walking in the school with Andrew and head for my first class.
* * * *
I get to Psychology with a couple minutes to spare. I sit in my usual seat next to Kali and she looks like she's about to burst with excitement. I think she has been sitting there waiting for me to arrive so she could share her happiness with me. "Troy Mathers asked me to the prom tonight," Kali blurts out.
"Who? What prom?" I ask.
"Troy," she says in a surprised voice, "The quarterback of the football team!"
"Yay!" I say with no expression printed on my face.
"We're going to prom" Kali informs me. Kali looks at me and is still overjoyed with her date. I don't think she notices that I have no idea who he is. I didn't even know that prom was tonight. "Are you going with Mr. Madsen?" Kali inquires.
"I didn't even know that prom was tonight," I say as I situate my belongings.
"He didn't ask you, did he?" The excitement disappears from her face.
"No." I'm actually surprised he didn't ask me. I wouldn't mind going to prom with him. It would actually be quite romantic.
"I'm sure he will!" Kali says with pure optimism.
"I doubt he even knows.”
"Well, there you go. He doesn't even know yet," Kali states. I can tell she's starting to feel bad. She was so happy about her date and now my news of being dateless is ruining it for her.
I look at her and nod my head. I'm upset now. I wish I didn't even get the memo about prom.
"I can try to get you a date. Then, we can all go together!" Kali says in attempt to stay optimistic.
"I can't do that to Andrew. I have tons of homework, anyway,"I lie. I actually have absolutely no homework.
"Homework? That's the best excuse you could come up with?" she asks with a sassy face and tone.
I take a deep breath, "I panicked. That's the first thing that crossed my mind."
I'm saved by the bell. When it goes off, Mrs. Gamage begins her lecture and I begin to daydream again.
* * * *
I'm sitting at my desk, staring at the clock, waiting for the last bell to ring. Watching the clock is making time go by slowly, so, instead, I open up my notebook and start doodling. All my work is finished, so my attention isn't really needed. Instead, I start drawing stars and hearts everywhere. I look up from the paper and glance at the clock. I have thirty seconds until it's time to go home, so I start gathering my things together.
The last bell rings. I find Andrew and we walk to his car together.
Walking out of school is a relief, I was really starting to get tired and bored.
"How was your day?" Andrew asks to break the silence and opens the passenger side door for me.
I look up at him, "It was awesome. I just can't get enough of this place," I say sarcastically.
He laughs as I throw my things into his car. I'm about to get in and Andrew grabs my arm. "Will you give me the great pleasure to be my date for prom tonight?" he asks.
I'm at a loss for words for a moment. I've been waiting all day to hear those words slip out of his mouth and fill my ears. "Of course," I say with a timid voice.
Andrew pulls me into him and hugs me. I feel his breath on the back of my neck.
He pulls away to face me, his eyes staring into mine. Before Andrew could lean in and kiss me, I decide to make the first move. I lean my lips in to touch his soft lips.
Then, his forehead meets mine and our lips stop touching. "I'll pick you up at eight," he says in a whisper.
"I'll be waiting," I whisper back.
Andrew walks to the driver's side door and I stand here feeling unable to move. I'm going to prom for the first time with Andrew. I have absolutely nothing to wear. I don't even know what I should wear. I need Kali's help!
* * * *
Kali insists I drive to her house and get r
eady there. I'm not about to argue with her, I desperately need her help.
Kali's house is spectacular. Two stairways on each side of the entrance are lit up by a marvelous chandelier in the middle. I'm extremely jealous, and I haven't even stepped all the way in the house yet.
Kali shouts to me from the top of the stairs, "Come up here, Nini!"
I make my way up the stairs. The floors are shining and I instantly regret not taking my shoes off at the front door.
I walk into Kali's room and I feel myself wanting to faint. Her room looks like it's something you see on TV. She has a pink canopy, king sized bed, a couple zebra cushion chairs, a pink, fuzzy rug, a mirror that is big enough for at least three people to look at themselves in at the same time, and last but not least, she has dresses, shoes, and accessories laid out everywhere I look. She must feel like a princess. "Pick any one you want," Kali says as she points to all of the dresses and shoes.
"Any one?" I feel like I just went to heaven.
"My mom went to cosmetology school, so she'll be doing our hair and makeup," Kali confirms.
"This is amazing, Kali!"
"I know, right?" Kali exclaims.
I walk around her room, looking at every dress. She must have at least twenty dresses in here. I see one over on the corner of the bed. I pick it up and take a closer look. It's stunning. The dress is long and black with gorgeous beading. It's the type of dress that's supposed to show off the curves on your body without showing too much skin.
"That's perfect for you," Kali says in admiration. "Try it on."
I put on the dress and I immediately know it's the one. I feel the silk touching my naked body underneath. It feels right.
I'm admiring the beading on the dress. The beads shine endlessly in the bright light above my head. The straps consists of radiant beads, and under my chest is a line of beads that connects in the back.
When Andrew sees me in this dress, I will be surprised if he doesn't faint.
The rest of the afternoon and evening is filled with makeovers. I'm actually enjoying myself. We laugh and gossip. It's totally stress free and I love it!