by Rashid Razaq
PW PRODUCTIONS
PW Productions is one of the West End’s most prolific and significant theatre producers, responsible for some of the most successful theatre productions in British theatre over the past 30 years, including The Woman In Black and An Inspector Calls. We specialise in high-quality production, management and bookkeeping/accountancy services for first-class plays and musicals in the West End, on tour throughout the UK and (given enough notice) throughout the world. We have acted as General Managers, Bookkeepers and Accountants to more than 250 productions in London and throughout the UK. www.pwprods.co.uk | @PWProds
YOUNG PEOPLE’S CREATIVE WRITING WORKSHOPS
around this production co-ordinated and run by
GILLIAN CHRISTIE (Workshop coordinator)
Gillian worked with Nicolas Kent as Education Director at the Tricycle Theatre for over 12 years delivering a variety of creative projects and workshops for children and young people. In addition to facilitating creative writing workshops, she is project leader for a local inter-generational community event leading to Black History Month, and co-ordinating a personal history project for Age UK, both based in Islington.
LUCY POPESCU (Workshop Artistic Director)
Lucy Popescu is a writer, arts critic and creative writing teacher with a background in literature, theatre, and human rights. She is a volunteer mentor with Freedom from Torture’s writing group, Write to Life. She runs regular writing workshops in north London and is experienced in inspiring, developing and shaping others’ creative work. Lucy is the author of The Good Tourist and has edited various books including refugee writer Jade Amoli-Jackson’s Moving a Country, Write to Life’s collection of refugee writing, Body Maps, and the PEN anthology Another Sky.
THE NIGHTMARES OF CARLOS FUENTES
Rashid Razaq
THE NIGHTMARES
OF CARLOS FUENTES
Based on the short story by Hassan Blasim
OBERON BOOKS
LONDON
WWW.OBERONBOOKS.COM
First published in 2014 by Oberon Books Ltd
521 Caledonian Road, London N7 9RH
Tel: +44 (0) 20 7607 3637 / Fax: +44 (0) 20 7607 3629
e-mail: [email protected]
www.oberonbooks.com
Copyright © Rashid Razaq, 2014
Based on the short story © Hassan Blasim, 2014
Rashid Razaq is hereby identified as author of this play in accordance with section 77 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988. The author has asserted his moral rights.
All rights whatsoever in this play are strictly reserved and application for performance etc. should be made before commencement of rehearsal to the author c/o Oberon Books. No performance may be given unless a licence has been obtained, and no alterations may be made in the title or the text of the play without the author’s prior written consent.
You may not copy, store, distribute, transmit, reproduce or otherwise make available this publication (or any part of it) in any form, or binding or by any means (print, electronic, digital, optical, mechanical, photocopying, recording or otherwise), without the prior written permission of the publisher. Any person who does any unauthorized act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.
A catalogue record for this book is available from the British Library.
PB ISBN: 978-1-78319-153-6
EPUB ISBN: 978-1-78319-652-4
Cover design by James Illman
Printed, bound and converted
by CPI Group (UK) Ltd, Croydon, CR0 4YY.
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Characters
CARLOS FUENTES (30s)
LYDIA KING (50s)
CASE WORKER/SAHAR HUSAIN
KEVIN/KHALED AL HAMRANI
Contents
Characters
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
Interlude 1
Chapter Four
Interlude 2
Chapter Five
Interlude 3
Chapter Six
Chapter Seven
ONE
August 2007.
A hotel room. A double bed. A chair towards the foot of it. On a bedside table there is a bottle of champagne in an ice bucket.
CARLOS, wearing a hotel dressing gown, is in bed, handcuffed to a bedpost. LYDIA, wearing a slip, is on her hands and knees looking for the key to the handcuffs. Her dress is draped over the chair. A pair of stilettos lie on the floor along with CARLOS’ discarded clothes and shoes.
CARLOS is pointing to a spot on the floor with his foot. He has a strong Iraqi accent.
CARLOS: Over there.
LYDIA: Where?
CARLOS: (Pointing.) There.
She looks to where he is pointing.
LYDIA: Here?
CARLOS: No. (His foot can’t reach so he indicates with his eyes.) Look.
LYDIA: (Looking on the floor.) I can’t see anything.
CARLOS: Look eyes!
LYDIA: What do you think I’m looking with!?
CARLOS: No. Look in my eyes.
LYDIA: In?
CARLOS: My eyes.
LYDIA: (Confused.) Your eyes? You want me to look with your eyes?
CARLOS: No!
CARLOS indicates with his head and eyes.
LYDIA: Oh! You want me to look at your eyes.
CARLOS: Yes!
LYDIA: You’re going to try hypnosis?
CARLOS: Hypno…what? I want key. What is hip-nose?
LYDIA: It’s…never mind. Where am I looking? Show me again.
CARLOS indicates again. LYDIA looks to where he is pointing.
CARLOS: See?
LYDIA: Oh.
CARLOS: Something?
LYDIA: Yes.
LYDIA picks up something from the floor and looks at it.
CARLOS: Is key? (He pulls at his handcuffs.) Lydia?
LYDIA: Afraid not. It’s your ring.
She gives him the ring. It is a large silver ring with a bright red stone.
CARLOS: Why is this on floor?
LYDIA sits down in the armchair with a sigh. She picks up a glass of champagne and takes a drink.
CARLOS: Who put this here?
LYDIA: Don’t look at me.
CARLOS: I put in pocket.
LYDIA: It must have fallen out. Do you want me to keep looking for the key?
CARLOS: Yes, yes. I need to go toilet.
LYDIA: Oh you do, do you?
LYDIA smiles.
CARLOS: Why are you smiling?
LYDIA walks over to CARLOS.
CARLOS: Why are you looking at me like this?
LYDIA jumps on CARLOS and tickles him under the armpits. He lets out a girlish scream. LYDIA tickles him again mercilessly. CARLOS bursts into uncontrollable giggles. LYDIA laughs with glee as she continues to torment her helpless prisoner.
CARLOS: STOP IT PLEASE! I’M GOING TO MAKE WATER! I’M GOING TO… PLEASE LYDIA!
LYDIA relents and gets off the bed. She takes a swig of champagne.
CARLOS: You are terrible, terrible woman!
LYDIA: Only playing darling.
CARLOS: Playing!? I…(Checks if he pissed himself.) I almost. What if I make piss in bed? Would you like this?
LYDIA: Well, some people are into that kind of thing.
CARLOS: Uckhh!
LYDIA: They call it watersports.
CARLOS: I don’t like to play this sport I think.
LYDIA: Well we could finish the champers and you could go in the bottle.
LYDIA offers the bottle to CARLOS.
CARLOS: I’m not a monkey.
LYDIA: Well, what do you want me to do? I’ve looked everywhere.
CARLOS: Lydia, please.
I don’t want to play this game.
LYDIA: OK.
LYDIA finishes her glass and makes to leave.
CARLOS: Where are you going?
LYDIA: To reception. See if they’ve got something to get you out. Failing that we’ll have to call the fire brigade.
CARLOS: I don’t want anyone to see me like this.
LYDIA shrugs. She picks up her stilettos and puts on her left shoe. She goes to put on her right shoe. The key falls out. She picks it up and turns around slowly to show CARLOS.
CARLOS: Thank God!
LYDIA releases CARLOS. He leaps out of bed and runs to the bathroom off-stage. The sound of CARLOS relieving himself.
CARLOS returns beaming.
LYDIA: Better?
CARLOS: Much better.
LYDIA pours CARLOS a glass and hands it to him. She refills her glass.
LYDIA: A toast.
CARLOS: To our one month anniversary?
LYDIA: It can’t be an anniversary if it’s less than a year. To a… work in progress.
LYDIA touches glasses with CARLOS.
CARLOS: Work?
LYDIA: Yes.
CARLOS: I am working?
LYDIA: No. You’re the work. Do you understand?
Beat.
CARLOS: Yes. Yes. Of course I understand.
LYDIA takes a drink and sits down on the bed. She pats the bed for CARLOS to join her, but he is busy looking inside his rucksack.
LYDIA: What are you doing?
CARLOS takes out a book – The History of The British Isles.
CARLOS: Working.
LYDIA: That’s not what I meant.
CARLOS: I must study for test.
CARLOS opens the book and starts reading. LYDIA snatches the book.
CARLOS: Oy!
LYDIA: You can’t sit the citizenship test for another four years.
CARLOS: Four years? But I am ready now! Ask me question. I will show. I am Britishman best as you.
LYDIA: Carlos?
CARLOS: Yes.
LYDIA: This is a dirty weekend, yes?
CARLOS: Yes.
LYDIA: I paid good money for this hotel room, yes?
CARLOS: Yes.
LYDIA: So get in the fucking bed.
CARLOS: But darling, I want to make progress.
LYDIA: Bed.
Pause.
CARLOS tries to grab the book. LYDIA pulls it away.
CARLOS: Hah! Sssh! Lydia! You promise you help me. How can I be Britishman if I do not pass test?
Pause.
LYDIA: OK. Five minutes. That’s it. (Reading from the book.) An inspirational leader to the British people during the Second World War?
CARLOS: Winston Church-hill.
LYDIA: Correct. Name the British queen who fought against the Romans.
CARLOS: (Uncertain.) Bod-ica?
LYDIA: Boudica. Or Boudicea. But correct. (Reading.) Who is the eleventh-century English king who…
CARLOS: I know this. I know this. (Beat.) King Cunt.
LYDIA: Can-oot. King Canute. Cunt means…something else.
CARLOS: Oh. I see. What is next? Come. Test me.
LYDIA: Feeling confident are we?
CARLOS: Maybe.
LYDIA: You’ve clearly been doing your homework. How about we make it more interesting? How about for every question you get wrong, you have to remove an item of clothing.
CARLOS: But I’m not wearing anything under this dressing gown.
LYDIA: Well, you better not get any wrong then.
LYDIA smiles. CARLOS smiles. She looks at the book.
LYDIA: Let’s see. When was the Magna Carta?
CARLOS: 1215.
LYDIA: When was the Battle of Agincourt?
CARLOS: 1415.
LYDIA: Who was the English king who defeated the French?
CARLOS: Henry Vee?
LYDIA: Fifth. It’s Henry the Fifth.
CARLOS: Oh. Come Lydia. This is too easy. Ask me something only a British would know.
LYDIA: You are feeling confident. OK. (Flicking through the book.) Henry the Eighth. That’s Henry with a V and three ones. Who are his six wives?
CARLOS: All of them?
LYDIA: Yes.
CARLOS: They do not ask this on the test.
LYDIA: Well, I’m asking you. Don’t you know?
Beat.
CARLOS: Catherine Aragon.
LYDIA: Correct.
CARLOS: Anne Bol-een.
LYDIA: Boleyn.
CARLOS: Catherine Aragon. Anne Boleyn. Jane Seymours?
LYDIA: Three down.
CARLOS: Anne…Anne Cleeves?
LYDIA: Very good. Two more to go.
CARLOS: Catherine… (Beat.) Howard!
LYDIA: Last one.
CARLOS: It is another Catherine.
LYDIA: Yes. But who?
CARLOS: Um…
LYDIA: Don’t know?
CARLOS: No. I know.
Beat.
LYDIA: Take it off.
CARLOS: I know this.
LYDIA: Take it off Carlos.
CARLOS: Wait. Wait… (Beat.) OK. I will take it off.
LYDIA smiles.
CARLOS puts his hand on his dressing gown cord to undo it. He comes in close to LYDIA.
CARLOS: Parr. Catherine Parr. Is Henry the Eighth’s six wife.
LYDIA: You bastard.
They laugh. They kiss. LYDIA takes the bottle of champagne from the ice bucket and takes a swig. She comes over and hands it to CARLOS. He takes the bottle from her and tries to pull her close, but she coquettishly pulls away and walks over to the opposite side of the stage.
They look at each other.
CARLOS takes a swig from the bottle without breaking eye contact with LYDIA.
CARLOS: Darling?
LYDIA: Yes.
CARLOS: This is dirty weekend yes?
LYDIA: Bit clean so far if you ask me.
CARLOS: Yes. What if we do something different?
LYDIA: How do you mean?
CARLOS: What if. (Beat.) I was boss?
CARLOS picks up the handcuffs and a blindfold and dangles them in front of LYDIA.
LYDIA: Something different?
CARLOS: What do you think?
Beat.
LYDIA: Why not?
LYDIA moves over to the bed.
LYDIA: How do you want me?
CARLOS: On your knees. Please.
CARLOS starts handcuffing her.
LYDIA: Ow!
CARLOS: Sorry. It is too tight?
LYDIA: No. It’s my knee. Could you pass me a pillow please?
CARLOS places a pillow under LYDIA’s right knee. He picks up the blindfold and goes to put it on her.
LYDIA: What do you want me to do when you put it on?
CARLOS: To do what I say. (Beat.) If that is OK with you?
LYDIA: Yes, yes. Put it on then.
CARLOS starts to put the blindfold on LYDIA.
LYDIA: Oh! What’s the code word?
CARLOS: Code word?
LYDIA: If I want you to stop. (Beat.) Agincourt. If I say Agincourt you stop.
CARLOS: OK.
CARLOS puts the blindfold on LYDIA. He stands back and watches her. He takes a sip of champagne.
Pause.
LYDIA: Carlos? (Beat.) Hello? (Pause.) Car-los? Are you there?
CARLOS comes in close to her ear.
CARLOS: I am not Carlos.
LYDIA: Oh. Who are…
CARLOS: Be quiet. You only talk when I say you talk.
LYDIA: Oh. OK. I understand. Sorry.
CARLOS: Stop talking.
LYDIA: OK!
CARLOS runs his hand up her leg.
LYDIA: Oh. Oh! Mmmm.
CARLOS: You like that? Answer me. Do you like that?
LYDIA: Yes. I like it.
CARLOS: Good.
CARLOS rubs up and down both her legs.
LYDIA: It’s very nice.
CARLOS: Did I say you could talk?
CARLOS lightly spanks LYDIA’s bottom
LYDIA: (Excited squeal.) Oh!
CARLOS: That’s for being a bad girl.
LYDIA: Oh I deserve it. I’m a bad girl. I’m a very, very bad girl.
CARLOS spanks her bottom twice more. Each spank is met with an excited squeal.
LYDIA: Oh yes. Yes! Punish me. Spank me. I deserve to be punished. Spank me…what’s your name?
CARLOS: I am going to do whatever I want to you. And you will never find out who I am.
LYDIA: Oh. That sounds. (Beat.) Hot!
CARLOS: You have been a bad girl Lydia.
LYDIA: Yes. I’ve been very bad.
He spanks her bottom. She moans in pleasure.
CARLOS: And now you must be punished.
LYDIA: Punish me.
He spanks her bottom. She moans.
CARLOS: You’re a sexy bitch.
LYDIA: What?
He spanks her bottom.
CARLOS: A dirty bitch.
LYDIA: (Unsure.) Dirty?
He spanks her bottom.
CARLOS: A dirty, fucking, white bitch.
LYDIA: Hold on a second.
CARLOS: You’re a dirty, fucking, old, white bitch.
CARLOS lifts up his hand to spank her.
LYDIA: WHAT!? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY!?
CARLOS: What?
LYDIA: What did you just call me?
CARLOS: Nothing.
LYDIA: Agincourt. AGINCOURT! Take this off. Let me see.