“Evening Mabel.” I smiled, reaching over to pick up one of the small shopping baskets. “How are you doing?”
“Woke up this morning, so you won’t hear me complaining.”
“Way to stay positive, Mabel,” I laughed as I started for the freezer section. I grabbed the churros from the dessert aisle then bee-lined for the cookies. I heard the bell over the door chime just as I was internally debating the perfect chip/dip combo, when the tiny hairs on my arm suddenly stood on end.
I stood frozen in place as I was hit with a scent I knew all too well. It was like clean cotton and outdoors, something distinctively male that I had no probably recognizing, even though it had been years since I smelled it. The fragrance, while very subtle, hit me in the chest like a ton of bricks, stealing all the air from my lungs.
His husky voice spoke from behind me, forcing me to squeeze my eyes shut against the onslaught of pain that lanced through my chest. “I’d tell you to go for the Fritos and bean dip, but you were always a tortilla chips and salsa kind of girl.”
I stood like that for several seconds until my body finally decided to cooperate and I was able to breathe again. I moved slowly, turning in place to see the boy who’d crushed my heart six years ago, standing directly behind me. And the sight of him was a complete shock to my system. There was no way of possibly confusing him for a boy any longer. He was definitely all man. Hell, even the times I’d been forced to watch him on TV during a game, or stumbled across his photo on the cover of a sports magazine while in a checkout line hadn’t prepared me for the full effect of Ethan Prewitt, Football God, all grown up and in the flesh.
He was taller than I remembered… by a lot. His chest was wider, shoulders broader. His once lean frame was packed with muscles that even his t-shirt and jeans weren’t able to hide. My eyes scanned down his massive frame of their own accord, catching briefly on the crutches resting under his arm and the brace covering the majority of his left leg.
His golden brown eyes were shaded by the brim of a worn out Denver Wildcats ball cap, making his prominent, square jawline and straight nose stand out. As if the chiseled features weren’t enough to make most women keel over with excitement, there was the brilliant white smile that slowly spread across his lips. All straight white teeth surrounded by full lips. My heart stuttered and that pain grew more intense the longer I stood there staring.
“Ethan.” Despite the riot of emotions I was overcome with, my voice was flat. And I knew he heard it too, because that smile of his began to slip from his handsome face.
“Kiddo,” he said in a low voice. “Christ, I’ve missed you.”
That nickname hit me right in the stomach, and my knees threatened to buckle underneath me. I was so overcome with the fear that I was about to hit the ground that I barely had time to register the sound of his crutches hitting the floor. Suddenly two strong arms wrapped around my body, holding me up while squeezing my lungs to the point of discomfort.
The sight of Ethan had caused a short in my brain so bad that it took me several seconds to realize what was happening. Was he…? His head turned and I felt his nose brush my neck as he inhaled deeply. Sniffing me.
Oh sweet mother of hell, Ethan was hugging me in the middle of Mabel’s Corner Market. After six years of radio silence. After having torn me in half with his hateful words.
“Damn, Eliza. It’s so fucking good to see you. You have no idea,” he whispered against my skin.
Once I realized exactly what was happening, the shock of the situation wore off quickly, and white-hot anger took its place.
My whole body went rigid. “Let. Go,” I ground out between clenched teeth.
His body went stiff against me. The steel band of his arms around me loosened as he lifted his head from the crook of my neck.
He was so close now that as he looked down at me, I could see those frowning golden eyes perfectly beneath the bill of his baseball cap. “Eliz—”
I held up my hand to stop him. “No. Just…” What the hell was I actually planning on saying? As each year passed and my anger at Ethan intensified, I’d done what any sane, rational girl did when hurt by one of her best friends who she just so happened to have had a crush on at a young age. I rehearsed exactly what I would say to him if I ever got the chance. I had the whole thing memorized… and it was freaking brilliant. Each sentence was carefully thought out to inflict the most damage. In my imagination, I was dressed to the nines, hair perfect, makeup flawless, and everything I had to say would absolutely destroy him.
But in reality? Well, I was wearing the same tank top I’d been cooking in all day, my hair was a ratty mess, thrown up on the top of my head, I sweated my makeup off hours ago, and I was pretty sure I smelled particularly ripe after a day spent in a hot-as-shit kitchen.
And the worst part — I couldn’t remember what I spent years planning on saying to him. Not a fucking word of it.
The best I could come up with was a whispered, “I have to go,” just before dropping my basket on the floor at my feet with a loud clatter.
I tried in vain to tune his voice out as I scurried down the aisle and out of the store with none of the items I intended to buy. Once my feet hit the wood planks of the sidewalk, I broke out into a run, not slowing down until I hit the staircase in the alley behind Sinful Sweets that led up to my apartment.
My hands were so shaky by the time I reached the landing that I dropped them three times before finally getting the door unlocked. Once I stepped inside, I slammed it behind me and hunched over, hands to knees, completely out of breath.
“What the hell?” Lilly said, coming around the corner from the living room. “You look like you just saw a ghost. What’s going on? And where’s the junk food and wine?”
“E-Ethan,” I panted, sucking in as much air as possible.
Her face twisted in confusion. “Ethan? Ethan what?”
“He… the store… hugged me… ran away…” Dear God, I was really out of shape. I gulped in more air. “Bastard… made me… do cardio… I hate him.”
“Was anything you just said supposed to make actual sense? Are you drunk right now? Is that what’s going on?”
Once I could finally breathe again, I straightened and leaned back against the door, shooting her a dead glare for good measure. “No, I’m not drunk. Ethan’s here. I ran into him at the corner store.”
Her eyes grew so big I worried they might just pop out. “He’s here? Like here, here? As in Pembrooke here?”
Okay, so I might have failed to mention to my best friend that my other best friend — the one I currently hated with the fire of a thousand suns —had moved back indefinitely, but in my defense… well, she probably would have tracked him down and broken his other knee for hurting me. Lilly was kind of fierce like that.
“He’s back at Harlow and Noah’s place.”
“What?!” she shrieked. “Are you kidding me? And you just found out?”
I managed a guilty grimace as I shrugged noncommittally. “Well…”
“Oh hell no! You’ve known about this and didn’t tell me?!”
I threw my arms out at my sides, ready to beg forgiveness. “I’m sorry! But if you think about it, I did you a favor by keeping it a secret.”
Lilly crossed her arms over her chest and scowled. “Oh really? And how do you figure that?”
I pushed off the door and started for the kitchen, hoping against hope that the secret bottle of wine I kept stashed for emergency purposes was still in its hiding spot. “You’re not currently locked up for attempted murder, are you? You’re welcome.” Standing on my tiptoes, I reached for the cabinet high above the fridge. I had to strain to reach, but once the cool glass of the bottle hit my fingers, I sighed in relief.
“And you hide wine from me, too?!” Lilley shouted in outrage. “What kind of friendship is this? I feel like I don’t even know you anymore.”
“Stop pouting,” I scolded as I rummaged in the drawer for our corkscrew. “I totally inten
d on sharing. I just need about a glass of this before I do.” The popping sound of the cork was like music to my ears. I brought the bottle to my lips and took a huge gulp, not bothering with something as tedious as a glass.
Lilly grabbed the bottle from my hand once I’d downed a quarter of it. “Okay, wino. Now that you’ve had your liquid courage, tell me what’s going on.”
Deciding the best course of action was to just rip the Band-Aid right off, I dove in, telling her everything Chloe told me the week before, and how I had every intention of just staying away from Ethan until he inevitably headed back to Denver and disappeared off the map for another six years. By the time I reached the part where I ran out of Mabel’s like my ass was on fire, she had wisely reached over head and pulled two of our largest wineglasses from the cabinet, filling mine to the very top like the amazing friend she was.
“So, let me get this straight.” She paused long enough to take a sip of the red wine. “That prick actually had the balls to tell you he missed you and hug you like it was nothing?”
“Pretty much.” Tipping my head back, I drained the contents of my glass and held it out for a refill.
“And instead of laying into his ass like you’ve been planning to do for the past six years, you ran out of there like a marathoner.”
“Yep.” I chugged more wine.
“Well,” she sighed before draining her own glass, “I’d say you’re the winner of Shittiest Day Ever.”
Moving from the kitchen into the living room, I plopped down on the couch in a dramatic fashion. “And you know I’m allergic to all things exercise. Running like that could have killed me! And it’s all his fault.”
Taking a seat at the other end of the couch, Lilly shot me her signature “Bitch, please” look. “There’s no such thing as being allergic to exercise, Eliza. You’re just really out of shape.”
“You don’t know science!” I argued irrationally — and pathetically, might I add. But after seeing Ethan, I was feeling anything but rational.
“Fine,” she said sarcastically. “Ethan’s totally to blame for the terrifying brush with death you just had.”
“Whatever,” I huffed. “Then it’s his fault we aren’t stuffing our faces with Oreos and Tostitos.”
We fell into a thoughtful silence as I laid back on the couch, resting my head on one arm and my feet in Lilly’s lap. I’d just about finished off my second — or was it third — glass of wine when she spoke again. “So what are you going to do now?”
And that was the real question, wasn’t it? “Aside from becoming a hermit for the foreseeable future, I don’t have a clue.”
She gave my foot a squeeze. “Well, if you need anything I’m here. And I’m 96.2 percent sure I know how to dispose of a body without being caught.”
While that number didn’t inspire my utmost faith in her skills, Lilly’s offer did solidify one thing.
Ethan Prewitt could suck it. Lilly was the best friend ever.
Past
Ethan
“HEY.”
At the sound of Eliza’s voice carrying on the soft breeze, I tilted my head away from the darkening sky.
“I’ve been looking for you.”
“How’d you find me?” I asked, ignoring her initial question.
The grass and dried leaves crunched under her shoes as she made her way toward me. “Well, if I were anyone else, I would have probably assumed you were either parked somewhere on Gaslow Lane with a random girl in your back seat or at Patrick Bewler’s bonfire party. But seeing as I’m your best friend, it was easy to read your mood when you got home yesterday. Something’s upset you, and this is your private place.”
“You know,” I started, turning back around to face the sunset, “it’s not normal for a fifteen year old to be as observant as you are. Shouldn’t you be busy thinking about things like makeup and purses or some materialistic shit like that? Sometimes you sound like you’re older than me.”
She snorted as she lowered herself to the ground beside me, crossing her legs Indian-style and facing the small cliff we’d stumbled upon a few years ago while hiking the mountain trails around her father’s house. It was a small, secluded spot that most people in town didn’t know existed, but with what seemed like a never ending view of the tree covered mountains, it was the ideal spot to escape and think. “Not too hard to do, considering you still manage to act like a toddler more times than not.” She let out a small laugh. “And according to the state, you’ll be old enough to legally drink starting next month. How’s that for unfair?”
“Watch it, kiddo. I’d hate for you to ‘accidentally’ take a tumble over the side there,” I say in mock warning, causing her to grin at me. “And what the hell are you doing out here by yourself anyway?” I finally asked, that big brother instinct I had when it came to Eliza in full effect. I loved my sister and her daughter Lucy with all the breath in my body, but the protectiveness I felt for my best friend was unlike anything I’d experienced with anyone else. She might as well have been raised as my sister with the way I hovered over her the past few years, keeping dipshit boys away and making sure she was safe whenever her father wasn’t around to do it. “It’s almost dark, Eliza. It’s not safe. You know your dad would lose his fucking mind if he knew you were wandering the woods by yourself at sunset.”
She rolled her eyes before laying on her back and staring up at the darkening sky. “Would you relax, Over Protective? He knows where I am. I told him I figured you were out here, and he knows you’re just as likely to shoot someone in my defense as he is.”
“Damn straight,” I grumbled, making her laugh.
“I’m pretty sure if he could pay you for your bodyguard services, he would.”
I looked over at her and smiled my first genuine smile in what felt like days. “Wouldn’t need to. I’m all too happy to go big brother on anyone’s ass who needs it.”
“So,” she leaned over to bump my shoulder with hers, “you going to tell me what’s got you sitting out in the middle of nowhere all introspective when you should be enjoying your Spring Break, college boy?”
“Introspective,” I repeated with a laugh. “Someone’s been hitting her SAT books.”
“Well not all of us can get into college on a football scholarship. It’s academics or bust for me. And stop trying to change the subject. It’s not going to work. You know better.”
I let out a defeated sigh knowing there was no way she was going to give in. “It’s nothing. I’m just in a funk, I guess.” The look on her face told me she knew I was full of shit, so I sighed again and finally relented. “It’s just getting harder and harder to come back every time,” I admitted.
“What? Why? This is your home, everyone you love is here.”
I had to turn away from the frown marring her face. There was no way to say what I was feeling without offending her. She would take it personally, even though I didn’t mean it that way.
“I don’t know. This place just doesn’t really feel like home anymore. Hasn’t for a while if I’m being honest. Harlow has Noah, and they’ve got their own little family. You know I’ve felt out of place since my Gram died,” I said, bringing up a painful point I’d talked with her about more than once over the years. “I’ve felt like an outsider for a really long time. And now that I’m away at college, it’s just becoming more and more obvious.”
Sure enough, Eliza’s face looked like I just smacked her. It only added to the guilt already resting on my shoulders for feeling the way I did. “But… they’re your family. We’re your family. You know that. Maybe if you talked to Harlow and Noah—”
“And say what?” I interrupted with a sarcastic bark of laughter before taking on a mocking tone. “‘Hey guys, I know you’re all in love and shit, but when I look at you, it makes me realize that I’m the third-fucking-wheel in our family, so can you maybe tone down on the happiness for a while so I don’t feel so out of place’? Come on, Eliza. Be realistic. I’m selfish enough even feeling
this way. Saying it out loud just makes it a thousand times worse.”
“It’s not selfish,” she insisted, her voice trembling with vehemence. “You lost your parents before you were even old enough to really remember them, then your older sister just took off on you for years. The one stable person you had for any extended period of time died, and when Harlow finally came back, she automatically jumped into a relationship with Noah and they had a baby. It’s not selfish to feel like an outsider. I don’t blame you. I just think that if you talked to them—”
I cut her off again, even though everything she’d just said was spot-fucking-on. “I’m not going to do that, Eliza. Just stop pushing it, okay?”
We both remained quiet as the sun finally finished its descent, leaving us with nothing but millions of tiny little stars as the only light to see by. I wanted to tell her that she was the only person who made me feel like I belonged, that even though Harlow was my sister by blood, the bond I had with Eliza was stronger. I wanted to tell her how I dreamed of leaving and never coming back, of starting a life for myself somewhere else, and that she’s the only person in this town I’d be willing to stick around for, that she was the best friend I’ve ever had or probably ever would have.
But I didn’t. I didn’t say any of that.
Instead, I said, “It’s late. We should go.”
I didn’t need to see the disappointment on her face to know it was there… or to feel the full impact of it in the pit of my stomach.
I had just let down one of the most important people in my life, and that killed worse than anything else.
Ethan
I DON’T KNOW how long I stood staring at the basket lying on the ground where Eliza had abandoned it, but it was long enough for my knee to start protesting the slight weight I put on it after dropping my crutches in order to hug her.
“Shit,” I muttered to myself, leaning down to grab my discarded crutches. I put them under my arms and began to turn when something near my foot caught my eye. Reaching back over, I scooped up the contents Eliza had dropped to the floor and threw them back in the basket. Two packages of mega stuffed Oreo’s and a box of some churro things that looked pretty damned good if I did say so myself.
Coming Full Circle (the Pembrooke series Book 2) Page 4