“Why do you even care?” I finally asked on a whisper, breaking the charged, palpable silence encompassing the room. “You made it clear what you thought of me with that last phone call.” I hated that the emotion clogging my throat could be heard with every word I pushed out. “Then you made it even clearer when you disappeared and never came back.”
Any space that had been between us disappeared in an instant when he moved on me, cupping my cheeks in both of his warm, calloused palms. It was when his thumb grazed my cheekbone that I realized I had started to cry. The only thing I couldn’t stand more than showing my sorrow at losing him was the fact I found myself worried over the fact he was standing there, embracing me, without the support of his crutch.
“That was the biggest mistake I’ve made in my entire life. I’ve regretted hurting you every single day, and if you’ll let me, I’ll do everything in my power to make it up to you. You were my best friend, Eliza. The best friend I’ve ever had. I’d give my right arm to have that back.”
His voice trembled with such reverence it was almost impossible not to believe him. Almost. I pulled in a deep breath as I stared straight into his eyes and asked the question that had been plaguing me for the past six years. “Then why’d you do it? You knew how everything you said would affect me. It was like you intentionally hit that button my mom created hoping to inflict the most damage. What did I ever do to deserve that?”
“Nothing.” His ravaged voice cracked at the same time his fingers on my face twitched, pressing tighter against my skin. “You didn’t do anything to deserve it, and I’ll hate myself for the rest of my life for what I said to you.”
“Then why?” I demanded on a shout.
“Because of my own stupid insecurities, sweetheart. You were the most important person in my life, and the closer the draft came, the more I found myself questioning if I really wanted to leave here… to leave you.” My eyes widened, still swimming with tears as he continued. “And that scared the shit out of me, Eliza. You knew. You fucking knew that all I ever wanted was to get out of here, start my life, to create something that was just mine that I didn’t have to worry could be ripped from under me in the blink of an eye. I wanted the security I hadn’t had since my grandmother died. But the closer that day got, I started second guessing myself. I knew what your mom did to you and how that fucked with your head and made it hard for you to let people in, and I knew I was fucking lucky I was one of those people. I was scared of what would happen to you if I left.
“I actually began considering what my life would be like if I stayed for you so you wouldn’t have to feel another loss, and the more I considered it the more fucking terrified I got. I didn’t want to give up my dream, and I thought if I didn’t make a clean break I was at risk of doing just that, and I worried I’d eventually resent you for it. So I fucked up. I made a huge mistake and I’m. So. Goddamned. Sorry.”
I’d always imagined what having Ethan apologize would have felt like, I just never expected it to leave me feeling so… hollow. And in spite of everything he just said, I couldn’t shake the sense that he wasn’t telling me the full truth. But that was no longer my problem. Reaching up to wrap my hands around his wrists, I pulled my face free and took a step away, ignoring the hope shining in his golden eyes.
“That’s the most selfish, inconsiderate thing I’ve ever heard in my life,” I managed to grind out. The tears immediately dried up, leaving me feeling cold and empty. “See, the difference between me and you is that I would never, ever have let you give up what you loved for me. I would have missed you… of course I would have, you were my best friend. But I was happy for you. Fucking thrilled! I would have never asked or expected you to give up your dream for me.”
“Eliza—”
I smacked his hand away when he reached for me again. “Everything you put me through, everything you said… it was all because you were a coward,” I spat, my lip curling in disgust. “I would have been happy with phone calls and texts, with getting to watch every goddamned game you played and telling everyone ‘Hey look! That’s my best friend.’ I would have been happy because I had my best friend. But because you were weak, you took that away from me in the most painful way you could think of. And now you come back and expect me to actually forgive you?”
I let out a bewildered laugh as I looked up at the ceiling, as if asking for divine assistance before meeting his crushed gaze once more. “I’ll be civil. When we’re forced to be in the same room because of our families, I’ll put on a happy face and play nice. And when you leave, I’ll go back to living my life the same way I’ve been since you purposely disappeared from it. But don’t ask me for anything else. I’m not the little, insecure girl I was when you left. I know what I’m worth now. I know what I deserve, and it’s more than the bullshit you gave me.” Once I finished my tirade, my chest swelled with pride that I hadn’t caved, that I stood my ground and demanded more for myself. “Now, if you’ll be so kind as to let yourself out, I’ve got a life to live. And you’re no longer a part of that.”
When I moved around him that time he didn’t stop me. I’d just made it to my bedroom door and pulled it open, fully intending on leaving him without so much as a backward glance when his voice, suddenly so full of determination, stopped me on the spot.
“Eliza.” I didn’t turn. But I did look back at him over my shoulder, only to feel a tremor shoot up my spine at the smile that graced his gorgeous face. “I’m glad to know you’re not that little girl anymore. And just so you know, I’ve changed too.” I opened my mouth to ask, spitefully, if he wanted a pat on the back, but he wasn’t finished. “And a word of warning, before I leave this town, I will get my best friend back. Even if I have to bend over backward and break every fucking bone in my body to do it. I’ll get your trust again. No matter fucking what.”
Suddenly peeved that I hadn’t ended our conversation with the upper hand, I threw the door the rest of the way open and stomped into the bathroom across the hallway, slamming that door behind me. All the while, telling myself that the low sound of his chuckle didn’t make my insides feel all tingly…
Even though it really did.
Ethan
THERE WAS A strong possibility that I was pushing my luck, but I had reached the point where I no longer gave a fuck. It had been two weeks since the blow up with Eliza in her bedroom, and every day since then, I’d come up with some excuse to be in her presence. Yes, I was aware that what I was doing could have been considered stalking to some, but I preferred to think of it as being fiercely determined. On the plus side, because of my “determination,” I’d gotten to eat at least one meal a day at the café, and damn, that girl could cook her ass off.
But I knew my constant attention was starting to wear on Eliza when, not even an hour ago, she came storming out of the kitchen demanding to know if I intended to “bug the shit out of her” for the remainder of my time in Pembrooke at a volume loud enough for everyone in the café to hear.
Needless to say, she didn’t find me endearing when I announced — just as loudly — that I planned on “bugging the shit out of her” for as long as it took to get her to forgive me and give me my friend back. She let out an adorable huff, followed by a myriad of curses that seemed out of character for her, before storming back into the kitchen.
That was why I currently found myself sitting at one of the comfortable booths that made up Sinful Sweets Café eating my third — or was it my fourth? — bowl of white bean chili when a blast from my past slid into the seat across from me, stating in a voice laced with humor, “Well look who’s decided to grace our town with his presence.”
My head came up from where it had been hovering over my bowl as I shoveled food in. “Holy shit,” I muttered, a grin spreading across my face at the sight of the man sitting in front of me. “Quinn fucking Mallick.” The guy I’d spent three years playing high school football with smiled in return and reached across the table to shake my extended hand. “How the hell ha
ve you been, man? I’m surprised to see you back here. Didn’t you move away shortly after graduation? Seattle or something like that?”
“Yeah.” He shrugged casually and leaned back and rested his arms against the back of the booth. “Life changes, man. What can I say? Moved back here when my little girl was four. Remembered what it was like growing up here and wanted to give her that same thing.”
“Wow, man. You’ve got a little girl? That’s awesome.”
Pride shone in Quinn’s expression as he shifted to pull his cell from his back pocket. He hit a couple buttons on the screen before sliding it across the table. Staring back from the screen was a little blonde-haired, blue-eyed girl with a huge smile on her face, complete with missing front teeth and everything. “She’s a cutie,” I told him, handing the phone back. “You’re gonna have a problem on your hands when she gets old enough to date.”
He made a noise in the back of his throat that indicated he already knew that. “Believe me, she’s only in kindergarten this year, and I’m already dreading her teenage years. And she’ll never be old enough to date if I have a say in it.”
With a chuckle, I stated, “Well she’s definitely got her mom’s good looks. If she was as ugly as you, you’d never have to worry about the boys beating her door down.”
Quinn’s smile seemed a little darker as he looked back at the photo on his phone before shutting it down and sliding it back into his pocket. “Yeah, she’s her mom’s girl, that’s for damn sure.” I wasn’t sure what was going on in his head, but whatever it was, the look on his face made it clear not to push. I opened my mouth to move us to a new topic when Eliza’s presence hit me before she’d even made it to the table. With all the delicious smells floating around the restaurant, I could still make out her almond and vanilla scent from feet away.
She stopped at the edge, set two large plastic bags full of Styrofoam containers on the table, and sent Quinn a friendly smile, all the while pretending I wasn’t even there. “Hey, Quinn. I got your order. Hope you haven’t been waiting too long.”
At the sight of her happy, smiling face pointed in the direction of my one-time friend, a completely irrational sense of jealousy washed over me.
“Nah,” Quinn grinned back, standing from his side of the booth and stepping out, “had just enough time to catch up with this asshole before having to get back to the station.” He threw his thumb in my direction, and it wasn’t lost on me that Eliza’s head didn’t turn my way.
“Well, stay safe,” Eliza frowned playfully, setting my teeth on edge.
“Safe?” I questioned, inserting myself in their conversation since they hadn’t been polite enough to include me.
“Yeah.” Quinn pointed to the Pembrooke Fire Department insignia on the right side of his jacket that I hadn’t noticed until just then. “Working over at Station Two. Just stopped in to pick up lunch for me and the guys.” He leaned in for another handshake, which I returned, while stating, “Good catching up, man. If you’re back for a while, we should go out for beers or something. It’s been too long.”
“Yeah, we’ll do that,” I replied. With a tilt of his chin my way, and a kiss to Eliza’s cheek, Quinn headed out the door. Eliza turned to retreat, but I grabbed hold of her wrist before she could escape.
“You know he’s married with a kid, right?” I said on a low growl. “You really think you should be flirting with him?”
With a sharp yank, she pulled her wrist from my grasp, but instead of leaving, she leaned in, speaking in a furious hiss only loud enough for me to hear. “That wasn’t flirting, asshole. That was me being nice to someone who’s always been nice to me. It’s called common courtesy. Maybe you should try it some time.”
“Eliza—”
“And for the record, his wife passed away. But you’d know that if your inconsiderate ass came home or followed up with your friends every once in a while.”
Shit. Just when I thought I couldn’t have felt more like an asshole in the weeks I’d been back in Pembrooke, I stuck my foot in my mouth and did something to prove there were even more layers to my asshole-ness than I originally thought.
“If you’re done with your meal, please feel free to pay your tab, tip the waitress, and leave.” Her tone might have sounded polite, but the way she said it meant it wasn’t so much a suggestion as a demand.
“Shit, Eliza. I’m sorry,” I breathed, running a hand through my hair.
“You know, you’ve been saying that a lot lately.”
“Because I mean it!” I bit back.
“Then stop saying it and start showing it, Ethan. What have you actually done to prove to me or anybody in this town that you’re sorry for being a shitty friend or a shitty brother for the past six years?”
Jesus Christ, she hadn’t been kidding when she said she’d changed. The Eliza I knew was always headstrong, but she’d never been one to make a scene or give someone a verbal ass kicking, even when they deserved it. Clearly, with age came a sharp tongue where Eliza Anderson was concerned. And fuck if it wasn’t sexy as hell to see her reacting with so much passion.
Before I had a chance to apologize again, or maybe do something stupid like tell her just how gorgeous I found her in that very moment. Another presence interrupted our standoff. And, unlike Quinn’s appearance, that particular blast from the past was unwanted, and very unwelcomed.
“Hi, Ethan. I thought that was you.”
Even if the feminine voice wasn’t familiar to me — in that nails-on-a-chalkboard kind of way — the way Eliza’s entire body went rigid and her face blanked would have told me exactly who was standing behind her.
I knew good and well that Eliza couldn’t stand my on-again-off-again ex-girlfriend Shannon, and she had every right. I’d started dating her my freshman year of high school. She was a year ahead of me in school, sixteen years old, and more than willing to put out with one of the guys from the varsity football team. And seeing as I was a dumbass kid who was only thinking with his dick, I thought she’d walked on water, and throughout the next four years, we broke up and got back together more times than I could count on either hand. She cheated, had a nasty jealous streak, was a spoiled, entitled little brat, and my sister never liked her. Those red flags should have been enough for me to realize that not only wasn’t she a good girlfriend, but she pretty much sucked as a human being all together.
Over the years, one of Shannon’s hot buttons was my relationship with Eliza. Because she didn’t understand what our friendship was like back then, and she felt that she was the only person without a dick I should have been allowed to talk to, she took a distinct dislike to Eliza. And let it show.
She treated Eliza like shit whenever she thought I wouldn’t find out about it, bullying her and being as cruel and nasty as a bitch like her could possibly be, thinking her pussy was enough to keep me on a leash while she secretly treated my best friend like shit. We fought about it constantly, because if I wasn’t there to see it myself, someone else always managed to tell me what evil Shannon was up to when I wasn’t around. Because Eliza was so young and quiet, she most certainly wouldn’t have told me herself.
It wasn’t until I pulled my head out of my ass and finally noticed just how closed off Eliza became whenever Shannon was around that I finally pulled the cord, ending things for good.
But Shannon, being the worst kind of bitch, didn’t use our breakup as a reason to stop her torment of Eliza. She’d never been one to apply herself to much of anything, so while I was in college, she was still in Pembrooke, trying to hold on to her old glory days from high school. I could remember multiple occasions where I’d have to drive my ass all the way from Laramie just so I could hold Eliza while she cried after Shannon had done something particularly mean. I hated not being in the same town to stop my jealous ex, but Eliza swore up and down she didn’t need my protection.
That didn’t stop me from hauling my ass over to Shannon’s house on multiple occasions and ripping the woman a new asshole. Unf
ortunately it never helped.
Suddenly discovering that venomous woman was still living in the same town as my sweet, mild-mannered (or at least she used to be) best friend made every muscle in my body lock, ready to battle.
“Shannon,” I spoke through clenched teeth, refusing to take my eyes off Eliza as the other woman bumped against her shoulder in an effort to get closer to me.
“I heard you were back,” she said in a low voice that I was sure men who didn’t realize what a blood-sucking shrew she was would find seductive. I wasn’t one of them. Reaching across the table, she ran a painted nail along the back of my hands as she continued with that ridiculous fucking voice. “It’s been a long time. I was hoping we could catch up.”
“Hasn’t been long enough, and as far as I’m concerned there’s nothing to catch up on. I’m just here, catching up with an old friend and trying to enjoy my meal. So…” Anyone else would have taken the hint and taken off before they did something to embarrass themselves. But not her. Because heartless skanks had no shame.
“Well I’ll join you,” she said cheerfully, shoving Eliza out of the way in order to claim the bench across from me.
My mouth opened to object, but my girl got there first, shocking the hell out of me while filling my chest with pride all at the same time. “Sorry, but I’m going to have to ask you to leave,” she said in a syrupy sweet voice.
Shannon looked at her with a hateful glare. “What? Why?”
“There’s a sign clearly posted outside that states ‘no shoes, no shirt, no service’ and seeing as half your shirt looks like it was ripped off by a mountain lion or something before you walked in here, your clothing choices aren’t meeting the standards of this particular establishment.” And just to add insult to injury, she added, sweetly, “Maybe try the Denny’s on the other side of town? I just hope their no dogs allowed policy won’t count for you.”
Coming Full Circle (the Pembrooke series Book 2) Page 8