My tongue slid over my bottom lip as I thought of Chris. He was so much a part of the change in me, but it wasn’t only him. It was admitting what happened to me, saying it out loud. I no longer felt like a victim, but a survivor. My dad wouldn’t want me to be hardened and detached because of his death either. While I’d never be who I was before—I’d always be protective and cautious with people—I could let in those closest to me, and trust they would love me no matter what.
“If I didn’t know better, I’d say you look like you’re in love.” Tristen wiggled his eyebrows jokingly.
My lips pinned together, and I looked over my shoulder away from him.
“Oh. Holy. Shit.” His shock made me bob on my legs, not meeting his gaze. “Are you kidding me?”
“Stop.” I continued to dance on my legs.
“The infamous Stevie Colvin, who no man or woman could tie down, though many and I mean many, have tried, has fallen in love?”
“Tris.” I rehooked my messenger bag filled with my designs on my shoulder.
“No. This is a monumental moment. A day that should be put on the calendar. I’m gonna bathe in this revelation, girl.” He sat back on his heels, his eyes wide on me. “Who is it?”
“No one you know.” I jerked straight at a deep laugh behind the conference door room. My entire future lay in four men’s hands on the other side of the door. “He’s from my hometown.”
“He?” Tristen grinned. “So, a man caught you after all. What’s his name?”
“Chris,” I said softly, feeling my cheeks heat up at just his name.
“Look at you. I don’t think I’ve ever seen you blush.” He shook his head. “You’ve got it bad.”
I couldn’t argue with that.
“Chris what?”
“Chris Singer.”
Tristen blinked, taking a step back.
“Chris Singer,” he repeated. “You don’t mean the supercross star Chris Singer, do you? Tall, sexy-as-fuck Aussie with hair I want to run my fingers through and a body I want to lick all over?”
“How do you know him?” It was my turn to be surprised. Tristen was not a man interested in sports, especially supercross. It wasn’t like football or baseball where you knew who the big players were even if you didn’t watch. “How do you know about supercross?”
“Holy. Shit. It’s him? Are you kidding me?” Tristen fanned himself. “I can’t believe you are seriously with him. He’s one of my freebies!”
Most couples had a joke list that if they ran into a certain celebrity or star they could have sex with them without hurting their relationship.
“Wait… Chris is on your list?” I blinked. “How do you even know who Chris is?”
“You know Andy’s sister does advertising for Monster energy drinks.”
I didn’t know if I knew that. She lived with them, but I never saw her. She was always busy at work. This was New York, the biggest city in the country, but it didn’t take you long before you realized everyone had some connection to each other.
“She has to keep up on all the Monster events. They are huge in all those X Games and motocross stuff. She forced us to watch it, and we got hooked. Only because those guys are all so freaking hot. I don’t really care about the sport, but I have become a big fan because of a few of those riders. What’s even happened to him? He simply disappeared off the circuit. So did that other rider, Hunter. Oh damn, he is hot as hell too. Hunter Harris is on Andy’s list.”
“My best friend is dating Hunter Harris. He’s a good friend of mine.”
“Whaaattt? Andy is going to freak!” Tristen patted his head. “How did I not know this about you? That you were friends with gorgeous supercross riders? And you are dating one of them!”
Because I didn’t let people in. I had kept those two worlds separate, as though the other didn’t exist. I needed to change that. Tristen, Andy, and Maxine were part of my family as much as Jayme, Chris, Hunter, and the rest. I needed to bring them all into the circle. Let my guard down to them.
“I’ll have to introduce you guys.”
“Oh, yes. I’m holding you to that. Meeting your sexy boyfriend. He’s open-minded, right? You’d be okay to share?”
I chuckled. I’d never before had a problem with threesomes or sharing “my date,” but even the hint of someone else touching Chris and I felt claws tingle at my fingertips. He was mine. Only mine. And even scarier, I didn’t want to be with anyone else. I had faked and lied my way through the time after we split up, pretending I had been fulfilled by meaningless sex. Now I had him back, and I was never letting go.
“Stevie?” someone called, startling both Tristen and me. Aiden stood in the doorway, motioning for me to join him. “The band would like to meet you now.”
A small hiss whistled through my teeth, my stomach knotting up.
“Good luck, girl,” Tristen whispered. “Just be this girl.” His eyes rolled down me. “You will have them putty in your hand.”
“Thank you.” I exhaled, giving him one last look before I moved forward. I didn’t have the job yet. I had to prove myself.
“Fear has fucked shit up enough between us. Don’t be scared to go after this.” Chris’s words filled my chest, rolling my shoulders back. I strolled in showing confidence I didn’t quite feel. I was good at acting. Making everyone believe I didn’t have a doubt in the world. That this was mine.
Whether I walked out with a job or not, I was going to give it all I had.
Fear would not take this from me.
Chapter Twenty-Eight
“A toast to The Devil Inside’s newest cover artist!” Tristen held up his cocktail. “To our girl, Stevie, for turning those four cocky men into little boys waiting in line to see Santa Claus.”
“Cheers!” Maxine exclaimed, Andy and Tristen joining her as our glasses clinked together.
“I’m not kidding. You should have seen them.” Tristen laughed, his head wagging. “They started off so cool and tough on her. In like a minute and a half, she had them wrapped around her finger, and they were fawning all over her.”
I grinned at the memory. When I walked in, the band sat back in their chairs, looking as if they owned the world, and nothing would impress them. They were dressed in torn jeans, T-shirts, and sunglasses as if they were still hungover. Right away, I knew my appearance was not what they were expecting. I looked like a member of their band instead of an executive they were used to meeting. I made some quip about them dressing up for me, getting them to laugh. Then I laid out some designs I came up with, going off the song list I was given.
They were floored. The lead singer and songwriter, Mason, teased I had snuck into his mind. They loved them. Of course, they had some changes, but I knew I had the job the moment they started to tweak my designs.
The ink from the contract still stained my fingers. The high I was riding was ridiculous. The only thing that would have made it better was to hear Chris’s voice. The nurse said he was in with a neurologist, and she’d let him know I called.
“We are so unbelievably proud of you.” Andy lifted his glass again.
“Thank you. I couldn’t have done it without you all. Your support and love. Seriously.” I put a hand on my chest. “I know I don’t tell you enough, if at all, but I love you guys.”
Maxine’s mouth twisted like she was trying not to cry. We were all a bit tipsy, but every word I spoke was the truth.
“I’m going to try harder to be a better friend. I know I’m flighty and superficial, and everyone thinks they’re friends with me. But you guys are different. You’ve always been there for me. You are my family.”
“Awww,” Maxine cried, pulling us into a group hug. “We love you too, Stevie. You have so much love. The reason so many are drawn to you is you have that thing. It’s like magic. Why so many want to claim a piece of you. And you are anything but superficial. There is so much going on in there, you have to shut down to protect yourself.”
Don’t cry. Don’t cry.
Dammit. Ever since I let my tears out, they came to the surface so easily now.
“They can claim whatever they want; you guys are the ones who know me.”
“Not true.” Tristen swallowed a gulp of his drink. “You’ve been keeping secrets from us. Like being in love with one of the sexiest motorcycle riders alive.”
“Oh! Oh!” Andy chirped jumping up and down. “Tristen told me. How could you not tell us you were friends with Chris and Hunter? I can’t believe it! I’m seriously dying right now. Dy-ing!”
“Who?” Maxine looked between us with puzzlement.
“Hunter Harris and Christopher Singer!” Andy exclaimed, almost spitting out his drink in excitement.
“I have no idea who they are.” She shrugged, still taken aback by the boys’ enthusiasm.
“Oh girl. Let us educate you in the world of supercross.” Tristen bobbed his hand at Maxine. “Actually, we don’t give a flying fuck about the races. But the riders’ asses are all you need to know.”
“And lickable bodies, sexy faces, and dreamy eyes. Hunter’s dimples are to die for. I mean… To. Die. For,” Andy trilled, his expression turning dreamy.
Maxine’s eyes went wide, giggling at their fervor. “Okay. I must be missing out.”
The cell in my pocket buzzed, and I quickly grabbed for it. The hospital number I knew by heart now lit up across the screen. A wistful grin arched my mouth, my stomach fluttering as heat sprinted up to my cheeks.
“Speaking of the devil.” I held up my cell at my friends.
“Oh my god, look at her blush.” Andy patted his chest, his mouth dropping open.
“I told you she had it bad.” Tristen winked at me.
I rolled my eyes, stepping back a little as I clicked talk.
“Hey.”
“Hey.” His deep voice vibrated through the phone and down my body. Crap, this guy made me giddy, and I wasn’t a “giddy” person.
“Hi, Chris!” Andy cupped his hand by his mouth, hollering at my cell. “We miss you.”
“We miss seeing your ass on a motorcycle.” Tristen yelled out, his voice matching Andy’s teasing tone. “We love you!”
“Who is that?” Chris asked.
I shook my head at my friends, pretending to be annoyed. “Just some assholes I picked up in the bar.”
“You seem to like those.” His voice went husky, making my thighs tingle.
“I seem to, don’t I?” I said pointedly, waving off my friends as they continued to shout at Chris, teasing me. I turned away, moving to a quiet corner, my timbre matching his. “I miss you.” The sentiment popped out of my mouth before my brain even thought. Cringing, I tried to fight my reflex response to guard myself.
“Fuck, I miss you too.” He exhaled. “To the point the doctors are going to make me a lab rat. Research and study me to help develop their latest extra-strength Viagra pill.”
I snorted, rubbing my forehead.
“Not kidding. It’s gotten so bad the nurses have made me their coatrack,” he grumbled in my ear. “Just hearing your voice…”
“Yeah.” I nodded. “I know.”
“So?” He probed. “How did today go?”
“Well.” The disbelief still rattled around in my head. “You are talking to The Devil Inside’s next cover artist.”
Chris let out a loud hoot. “I fuckin’ knew my girl would get it. I am so proud of you.”
I leaned against the wall, emotion swirling through my body at his words, my throat clogged.
“What?” He sensed the change. “You’ve gone quiet. What’s going on?”
I exhaled. “I don’t know. This is strange for me.”
“What is?”
“Sharing stuff with someone. Being open. I’m not used to it.”
“You think I am?”
“No.”
“Hey,” he said softly. “We’ll freak out together, okay? Just don’t shut down on me, no matter what. You tell me all, even if you are feeling the urge to run or have a Stevie-style freak-out.”
“A Stevie-style freak-out?” I rubbed my lips together, my eyebrow coiling up.
“Yes. You know what I’m talking about.”
“Please explain.”
“All right, you want to go there. Fine. Like where you get blindingly drunk and hook up with someone else to hurt me.”
My gaze went to the ground, shuffling uncomfortable. Yeah. I did that. I did it when he didn’t even know, when we weren’t together. The time apart was one long Stevie-style freak-out.
“Neither of us are people who use labels. I don’t want to place any demands on each other or anything that makes us feel tied down. Let’s just take this day by day. The only thing I refuse to do is share you now. Girl or guy, it doesn’t matter. No one else. It’s just me until you want to end it. Agree?”
“Me?” I scoffed. “You’ll tire of me a lot faster. I think you’ll be running for the door first.”
“Want to make a bet?”
“Sure.”
“You’re gonna lose, Gyps. I’ve stopped running since the day I met you.”
“Oh Tarzan, you haven’t even experienced me in full yet.” I hummed with sexual meaning.
“Really? You’ll have to show me,” he taunted in my ear, his voice raspy.
“I’ll warn you. I’ve heard I’m a lot to handle.”
“Don’t I know it.” He chuckled. “Think I can take it.”
“I guess you would know. I mean, since I’m your wife and all,” I teased, expecting the title to send me in a full-blown panic. It was unorthodox for me to say, but it didn’t scare me as I thought it would.
Chris went silent. Shit, why did I say that? He was worried about me darting for the hills, when it might be him.
“I was kidding.” I shuffled my feet. “You can breathe now. Your turn to not freak out.”
“That wasn’t why I was quiet,” he said evenly.
“O-kay. Then why is it weird now?”
He sucked in a deep inhale. “Because I don’t want you flipping out on me.”
“Why would I?”
“Because…” He seemed reluctant to continue. “I never wanted to get married. Ever. The idea of a wife was my worst nightmare. I never wanted to be tied down or have kids.”
“Wow,” I said dryly. For some reason his declaration made something catch and twist inside me.
“But…” He paused. “Shit…this is really hard for me to say.”
“Just say it,” I demanded.
“The idea of being married to you… I like it.”
“What?” My mouth dropped open.
“Not now or anything. We have a lot of shit to still work out. But maybe someday.”
“You want to marry me?”
“Not right this moment, but in general? I don’t hate the idea.”
A throaty laugh burst from my lungs, a tremor of exhilaration fizzing through my body. “You know just the right things to say to charm a girl, don’t you, Tarzan?” I quipped, releasing another bubble of laughter.
“Never had to do it for the right girl before.”
Warmth flooded me and my cheeks ached from my wide smile. “It was perfect for this girl.” I tugged on the end of my strands. “And I feel the same.”
“About?”
“The idea of being married to you. Someday,” I stressed. “I don’t hate the idea.”
He let out a booming laugh, which made me overflow with happiness and energy. “That was probably the hottest thing I’ve heard.”
“Then you will be a very easy husband to please.”
“Fuck.” He groaned. “Why did you saying that make me so fucking horny?”
“My charm, I guess.” I shrugged.
“When are you coming back?”
“I don’t know.” I shook my head. “I have a lot of work to do now. They want the cover soon.”
“Would you be opposed to a visitor the end of next week?”
“Are they releasing you?”
�
�I got the okay tonight. They want me to take it easy, but going another nine days without you is not going to happen. Thought I’d take the train up and check New York out.”
“Really?” Butterflies walloped against each other in my belly. “Can’t imagine you in the big city.”
“Normally not my thing, but for you? I’ll go anywhere.”
My grin widened. “I know several people who will be more than excited to hear you’re coming.” I glanced over at my friends. They all held up their cocktails to me, and I waved back. “Turns out you have a little fan club with my friends here.”
“Always love my fans.”
“I’ll warn you, if you and Hunter show up together, you’re gonna have two screaming boys trying to tear your clothes off.”
“As long as it’s you who’s actually ripping them off later.”
“I’ll even wear a groupie T-shirt with your supercross number on it.”
“Dammit, Stevie.” He moaned. “Now I have that image in my head. At least I can shower by myself now.”
“Damn. I loved the idea of you and Carl showering together.”
He laughed, but it quickly died away, and I felt the change in the atmosphere.
“The doctors pretty much told me I won’t ride again.”
“Oh no. Did they say why?”
“Yeah, well, my equilibrium will be a little off for a while, which might cause dizzy spells sometimes. In life they said it’s not something to really worry about, manageable. But on a bike, that’s a totally different thing. It’s too dangerous for me or other riders.”
“Shit. I’m sorry.”
“It’s not as though I had this huge career in it. I wasn’t Hunter.”
“You were still good, Chris. I have friends here who don’t watch sports, and they still know who you are.”
“I loved it. But let’s be honest, it’s not a long-term job. It would have ended in the next couple of years anyway.” He huffed. “All I’m saying is I don’t know what my plans are or where I’m going in life… I’ve never been someone who thought about stuff like that. But sitting here, thinking about you going after your dreams, I want to find the thing that makes me happy.”
Twisted Love (Blinded Love Series Book 3) Page 25