by La Jill Hunt
“Wait, I need to go to my house to get my own car first,” Sylvia said, adjusting her Gucci frames. “I have another appointment I can’t be late to.”
“Sounds like we need to hurry and get over to Gene’s place then. Drive.”
Instead of arguing, Sylvia followed the instructions the GPS gave her, and they arrived at Gene’s small lot. Sylvia took her time getting out of the SUV, not wanting to relinquish the key just yet. Gene walked out of the building and to them.
“Whatcha think?” he asked.
“I think it’s pure perfection,” Sylvia told him.
“The moment I saw it, I thought about you, so I went ahead and got it even before I called Kenny to tell him,” Gene said. Sylvia handed the key fob out to him, but he didn’t take it. “Why you giving that to me?”
“Kenny said he was picking his car up. I’ll ride with him,” Sylvia said.
“You don’t like the Range?”
“I love the Range. But I can’t get it right now.” Sylvia sighed. “My child is headed to college, and I have some other major stuff going on, Gene. I appreciate you trying to look out for me, though.”
“Sylvia, just take it for a couple of days and check it out. We are family, and I know how long you been wanting this thing. I got it for a helluva deal, so you know I’m gonna look out. Just keep it ’til the weekend, and then let me know.” Gene shrugged.
“I’ll just be torturing myself.” Sylvia tried to hand him the key again, but he refused.
“Sylvia, didn’t you say you had somewhere to be?” Kenny walked over and opened the door for her. “I’ll hit you up later about the York web design I came up with.”
Sylvia looked at her watch and saw that she was now pressed for time and needed to get to her appointment. “I don’t know why I’m doing this. I’ll see you guys later.”
“I like them shades, too, Syl.” Gene laughed. “They look as good on you as this truck does.”
Sylvia enjoyed her luxury ride and smiled all the way to the church. There were a few empty spots available near the front door, but she didn’t want to chance anyone parking too close and dinging the Range Rover with their carelessness, so she parked in a space where the entire row was empty. She stepped out and admired the truck once more before walking away.
“Syl?”
She turned to see Garry a few feet away from her. “Garry, what are you doing here?”
“I came to, uh... Well, you said you were meeting with Amanda, and I was gonna see if we could meet with her together.”
“I thought you were in Phoenix this week,” Sylvia said, not only surprised to see her husband, who was supposed to be out of town until the weekend, but also because he’d shown up for the counseling appointment she’d mentioned the weekend before.
“I was, well, I am. I fly back out on the red-eye tonight and go back.”
“You flew in today just for this? And you’re flying right back out?”
“Yeah, I did.”
“Wow,” Sylvia said, impressed by his effort but still cautious.
“It’s not as if I don’t have plenty of frequent flyer miles to use,” he said with a faint smile.
“You do have a point.”
Garry’s eyes went past her. “Syl, whose truck is that?”
She’d been so shocked to see Garry that she nearly forgot about the Range Rover. She turned around and said, “It’s a loaner. Well, not exactly a loaner, but more like a test drive. Kenny’s cousin Gene, he told me to check it out for a couple of days.”
“Check it out for what?” Garry asked.
“Check it out to see if I wanna buy it. I need to get in there. I’m almost late.”
They went inside the doors of the church that led to the administrative wing, where Amanda’s office was located. Even though the door was open and Amanda was sitting at her desk, Sylvia still knocked.
“Right on time.” Amanda looked up and smiled. “Come on in.”
“Um, Amanda, I’m not alone.” Sylvia moved to the side so that Garry, who was standing behind her, could be seen. “I didn’t know he was coming. He didn’t tell me anything.”
“Well, what a welcome surprise. Come on in, you two.” Amanda waved them inside her office and then rose from behind the desk and hugged the two of them. Sylvia took her usual seat on the end of the sofa, and Garry sat beside her. After closing the office door, Amanda said, “It’s so good to see you, Garry.”
“Good to be here, Amanda.” Garry nodded.
“Let’s start with prayer.” Amanda reached out for their hands. Garry and Sylvia stood up, and they formed a mini circle and bowed their heads.
“Amen,” they all said when she finished and took their seats.
“Well, since you’re here, Garry, for the first time, why don’t you start by sharing a little bit of what made you attend this session. And please know this is a safe space,” Amanda said.
Garry shifted uncomfortably, then cleared his throat. “Oh, uh, I ain’t think I’d be going first.”
“It’s okay.” Amanda gave him a nod of encouragement.
“I wanted to come to show my wife that I’m willing to work on our marriage and our family. It was my actions that got us to this point of brokenness, and now I have to take action and fix us,” Garry said. “I love her, and I’ll do whatever I need to do, even if that means flying home every Wednesday and coming here with her.”
Sylvia stared at the carpeted floor, listening to what Garry said. She knew that he meant well, and she was appreciative of his effort.
“Sylvia,” Amanda said.
“I’m surprised to see him, and glad.” Sylvia nodded. “It’s a step in the right direction?”
Amanda titled her head to the side. “Is that a question or a statement?”
“Both, I think. Does that sound crazy?” Sylvia asked.
“There’s no such thing when it comes to your feelings. So to answer your question, no, it doesn’t sound crazy,” Amanda said, which made Sylvia feel a little better about her statement.
“I believe our biggest problem is communication,” Garry volunteered. “We’ve always worked great as a team, and we talk our way through the tough moments. But we’ve hit a wall that we can’t seem to get past. And it’s frustrating both of us.”
“Okay.” Amanda looked over at Sylvia, but before she could say anything, Garry continued.
“Prime example, she says that I make decisions without discussing them, but today, she pulls up in a new Range Rover that she hasn’t mentioned. That’s a major decision, isn’t it? So I’m just trying to figure this all out and get us back on track.” Garry sat back and crossed his leg at the knee. “She said she wanted me out of the house. I find another place to move, and she’s upset. We have a breakdown in communication that’s tearing us apart.”
“Sylvia, how do you feel about what he’s saying?” Amanda quickly asked.
Sylvia took a slow, deep breath before she responded and took a moment to reflect on everything she’d discovered about their marriage over the past few months. Her first instinct was to agree with everything Garry was saying, because in some ways, he was right. Then she thought about the journey of self-discovery that she’d recently started and was glad that they were in what she’d come to feel was a safe space to release and talk about her feelings. It wasn’t the time to back down and accept what he said. It was time to speak up.
“We most definitely have a communication issue. Right now, we’re both juggling a lot both in our separate lives and as a family, and it’s just a lot to discuss most of the time. So as much as we talk, we usually end up arguing,” Sylvia said. “So, to avoid arguing, we just don’t talk.”
“And that’s where the problem comes in—” Garry started.
“But that’s not our biggest issue or what’s tearing us apart. It’s not,” Sylvia interrupted him, and he turned with a look of surprise.
“Continue, Sylvia,” Amanda said softly. “What do you think is the cause of th
e marital breakdown?”
Sylvia looked up at Amanda. “Trust issues.”
“Syl, I’ve told you over and over again that what happened with Randi only happened once. It was a mistake, and I regret that it took place. And God knows I’m sorry, but I’ve never been with anyone else. You are my everything, and I promise I’ll do anything to make it up to you and protect you and our family. You can trust me,” Garry pleaded. “I’ve apologized, and I’ll say sorry however many times I need to. You said you forgave me.”
“I do forgive you, Garry. But you still don’t get it. You still can’t see it,” Sylvia told him.
“See what? What don’t I see? That no matter what I do these days, it’s wrong? That even though I’ve been trying to fix it, you’re not satisfied? You said you were fine with Jordan coming to live with us. But—”
“Stop it, Garry. Please stop.” Sylvia shook her head. “This has nothing to do with Jordan or Randi or even the one-night stand you had. It’s not about me trusting you.”
“Then what do you mean?” Garry asked.
“Sylvia, explain it,” Amanda told her.
Sylvia turned and looked at Garry. “You don’t trust me.”
“That’s ridiculous. I know you would never cheat on me, Syl.” Garry reached for her hand that was lying on the sofa, but she pulled away.
“I’m not talking about infidelity, Garry. I’m talking about that you don’t have enough faith in who I am or what I am to trust me.” The words came tumbling out all at once. She kept talking for fear that if she stopped, she wouldn’t have the courage to start again. “Whenever there’s a problem, an issue, or a concern, you expect us to bring it to you, and you step in and fix it. You handle it. You make the decision.”
“I’m your husband, Syl. That’s what I’m supposed to do.” Garry frowned.
“But when it comes to your problems, hurts, and traumas, you don’t bring them to me, but I’m your wife.” Tears welled in Sylvia’s eyes. “I’m wondering when I became some weak woman you can’t even confide in when you’re hurting, or angry, or afraid. You’ve protected me since the day we fell in love, and I let you because I thought it was because you loved me. But it’s not. It’s a control mechanism that you do not out of love, but out of fear. And that’s what I’ve come to realize and what is tearing us apart: you are married to a woman who you don’t trust.”
Sylvia looked over at Garry. He sat, staring at the floor in front of him, not saying a word.
“Garry?” Amanda said.
“I’m okay,” he answered. “I’m just listening and processing right now.”
“Garry, do you feel like it’s your sole responsibility to handle all of the problems and challenges you guys face?” Amanda asked.
“I thought that was my role as a husband and a father. I make sure everyone and everything is good. I work hard. I am a great provider. I am supportive and loving.” Garry nodded. “I guess I didn’t realize it was a problem, so forgive me if I’m a little confused.”
“You are all of those and more,” Sylvia agreed. “But you’re not perfect. You’ve never come to me with anything you’re dealing with. We’ve been together almost twenty years, and I can’t recall a time when you’ve ever come to me because you’ve been worried, or sad, or stressed out. You never complain about anything. The only time I’ve heard you admit to being afraid of anything was the other day when you admitted being scared that Sherrod would fight for custody of Jordan. And that was only because of what happened at the game. You are the king of hiding things, and then you wonder why your children don’t share anything with us. It’s learned behavior. It’s a trust factor.”
“But, Garry, why don’t you feel comfortable sharing your fears or concerns with Sylvia?” Amanda offered.
“Because he believes I’m weak,” Sylvia answered for him.
“Sylvia.” Amanda warned, “Allow him to speak.”
Sylvia relaxed in her seat, wondering how she’d allowed them to get to this point. If Randi’s death hadn’t happened and Garry’s biggest secret revealed, would this be happening? Until that point, their marriage was fine? Would she have even realized that Garry considered her somewhat of a trophy wife: a pretty woman he had at home to raise their daughter and have sex with?
“Because I love my wife, and she has enough on her plate, raising our daughter and taking care of the home while I’m gone most of the time working. I don’t know where this whole trust thing is coming from, because I’ve trusted her enough for years, long enough to handle our household while I’m not there,” Garry said. “I trusted and believed in her enough to tell her to quit a job she hated and start her own business.”
Sylvia flinched, pinched by his words. “No, you told me to quit my job to, yet again, fix a problem. I wanted to report the issues I was having with my boss to HR, and you said, ‘No, just quit. I make enough to support our family anyway. You don’t have to even deal with those people. Quit.’ And so I did. In the end, it worked out and ended up being the right decision, but it was your way of fixing it so you wouldn’t have to hear me complaining. You fixed it. Quit, end of discussion. Same way you’re sitting here fuming about that Range Rover in the parking lot.”
“Because number one, buying a new car, especially an expensive one, makes no sense right now. Peyton is going off to school, and that’s gonna have additional expenses for me to take care of. The budget can’t handle it right now. I might have to hire a lawyer for this custody thing with Sherrod.” Garry tossed his hands up in frustration.
Sylvia looked up. Amanda’s eyes met hers, and they exchanged a look of understanding.
“What?” Garry asked, seeing the exchange.
“Garry, I want you to just take a moment and think about what you just said,” Amanda told him.
Garry looked down and then closed his eyes. “Oh, I was speaking so fast, I said I, but I meant we.”
“But that’s not what you said,” Amanda told him. “Although you may not realize it, your need to be the ‘fixer’ in your household has somehow overshadowed that you do have a partner to help you handle problems. You don’t have to do it alone.”
“I just want to do what’s best for my—I mean, our—family. I want Syl to be happy.”
“You’re her husband, Garry, not her father. And you’re not responsible for her happiness, she is. And right now, she’s not happy because she’s your helpmate, but she feels like you don’t trust her enough to ask for or depend on her for help. That’s not right, and that’s not Biblical. Sylvia’s right. You all have a trust issue.”
Sylvia felt as if a load that she didn’t even realize she’d been carrying had been lifted. Time and time again, she’d second-guessed her thoughts and feelings. Now they were finally out in the open, and they could begin working on them together. “Garry, listen, I don’t want you to think this is a ‘point out all of Gary’s faults’ session, because that’s not what this is. I definitely have some deficits of my own.”
Garry seemed surprised by her statement.
“You’re not the only one who bears some fault in all of this. I’ve been so caught up in the freedom of not having to make decisions or avoiding difficult conversations when I didn’t agree with one that you made, that I ignored a lot of stuff that bothered me. I was so glad that I didn’t have the big problems in our marriage that other people had, like money issues, out-of-control kids, abusive situations, that I didn’t want to bother you with the small issues. I should be able to recognize when something is bothering you. We should’ve both been more aware.”
“You’re right,” Garry said.
“Well, I think this has been good, really good. How about the two of you?” Amanda asked.
“I agree.” Sylvia nodded.
“Definitely,” Garry said.
Amanda closed the session out in prayer and hugged them. Sylvia reassured her that she would be back for her appointment next week, while Garry just thanked Amanda for her time. They walked out of the buildin
g in silence.
“Thank you for coming, Garry,” Sylvia told him.
“It was very, uh, enlightening.”
“You coming back to the house? Aunt Connie cooked pot roast,” Sylvia said. “I have to pick Peyton up from track practice.”
“How about I pick her up instead?” Garry asked. “I mean, if it’s okay with you.”
Sylvia squinted at him. “Are you trying to be funny?”
“No, not at all.”
“I think your picking her up would be a great idea. Thank you. I’ll see you back at the house.” Sylvia stepped closer and gave him a hug.
“Yeah.”
Later, Sylvia was in the den, watching television with Aunt Connie when she heard the front door open.
“Mom, I’m home,” Peyton yelled.
“Awesome. You and your dad can go ahead and get washed up for dinner so we can go ahead and eat,” Sylvia yelled back.
“Uh, Dad’s not here,” Peyton appeared in the doorway and said. “He left.”
“What do you mean, he left?” Sylvia stood.
“He said he had a flight to catch and he would see us this weekend. Is everything okay? Because he was acting kind of weird.”
“Weird how?”
“I’m not sure, but it kinda looked like he’d been crying.”
Chapter 18
Janelle
“Wow, that’s deep. This whole situation is deep.” Dexter sat back and stared at Janelle. They were finally on their sushi lunch date that she’d been postponing, and she caught him up on everything that had transpired in her life, including the basketball game drama and Tricia showing up at Sylvia’s. She also explained who Sherrod was and the dilemma of dating him.
“Very deep.” Janelle nodded.
“So, you’re sure you wanna get involved with this guy, Janelle, especially considering the circumstances?” Dex asked, using his chopsticks to pick up a roll. “It sounds like it can get kinda complicated and messy.”
“I know. Right now it is. But I have a plan.”
“And what’s that?”