by Raven Dark
“Are you finished now, V’ir?” I ground out quietly. “Can I move now?”
“Am I finished punishing you? Yes. Owning you? Fucking your sweet ass? Never.”
I lifted my head sharply, ready with a retort, only to shut it down. No amount of cursing at him would change a thing. He’d still be an ass, I’d still belong to him, and he’d still make me want whatever next twisted game he played. I settled for glaring at him, following his smooth movements as he dressed and yanked the knife from the headboard.
“You can move now.” He slid the knife into his waist of his pants. “Sleep here. Enjoy the bed. It’s comfortable. I will have some food sent up for you.”
Food. I didn’t want it, especially from him. “I’m not hungry.” I turned my face away from him.
“You will eat what I bring you. All of it. By the time I come back, I want to see the tray empty, or what I do to you next time will be worse.”
“You’re not staying here?” I lifted my head and looked at him.
He smiled at my relief. “No. I have a world to run. And apparently save.” One of his fingers swept my sweat-slicked hair away from face. He leaned over me, rasping in my ear. “The punishment is over, but I promise you…” His palm slid around my neck, threatening. “You ever pull a weapon on me again, whore—you ever touch a weapon again—and I will kill you.”
My eyes widened and I shot a look at him, disbelief and numbing horror shooting through me.
He kissed my shoulder. “Sweet dreams, Vahashatai.”
Then just like that, he crossed the room and left, the doors clicking shut behind him.
I lay there across his bed with his promise echoing through my mind for a long time. It whispered along my every thought and ate at my soul, like the promise of a demon. An oath from the Devil himself.
I believed every word.
26
Healer’s Touch
I woke the next morning with a groan. Or at least I assumed it was morning. There were no windows down here, so as with Vun Hyl Mine, there was no way to tell what time it was.
Morning or night, one thing I did know; I was in pain.
Lying across the bed on my stomach, I felt as if I’d been through a meat grinder. My body ached the same way it did when I overdid it at the gym, the muscles in my legs, hips, and back warning me that movement wasn’t an option. I forced myself to roll over on my back and moaned. Even that simple act caused a burning sting in my ass, and across my bruised butt cheeks.
Fuck, I’d been hoping last night had been only a dream, but it hadn’t. I put my arm over my face, my throat tightening. Despair tried to pull me in like an undertow. It worsened as that frightening urge to accept what had happened, that sense that Raul had done what was expected of him, settled in.
As with the spanking, the acceptance that dangled before me like an addictive drug was more than a victim’s reflex. It felt unnatural, like a pull deep inside my being. It was a Xandari male thing, something in them caused me to want this. I shut it down, along with the despair. If I let even the smallest part of me accept any of this, or if I broke down now, I’d never be whole again.
Raul had been right, the bed was insanely comfortable, especially after days of sleeping in caves with only a bed of leaves or a thin roll separating me from a hard dirt floor. That thought pissed me off, fanning the flame of my anger with him. How dare he take care of me this way after last night!
I turned my head, glaring at the empty food tray on the nightstand, with its empty plate and mug. He’d sent a light meal of meat and cheese with a calming tea for me. I’d eaten it all, and it wasn’t that I wanted to accept anything from him. He’d threatened to punish me even worse than last night if I didn’t, after all.
My eyes traveled up to the leash, the end of it clipped to a small metal loop on the headboard with some type of lock. A loop designed exactly for the clip on a leash.
What a world this was.
“Fuck.” I lay back on the bed with a huff. “Barbarians.” I nodded to myself. “Yup. They’re fucking barbarians.”
A snuffling sound reached my ears. Tarku. Where had he been? I hadn’t seen any sign of him since we’d arrived at the shelter.
The pink dog jumped up onto the bed and licked my face.
Raul’s fucking dog. “Great.” I shoved his face away and he flopped down on the bed, snuggled against my side.
“Really, dog? Are you always this annoying?”
I sat up and swung off the bed, wincing. Takru rolled over into the middle of the bed as if to prevent me from crawling back in and hiding from the day.
“Figures. You’re just as bad as your master.”
He gave a low, playful growl and put his paws in the air, showing his belly. Looking at me with those beautiful, all too human blue eyes.
“Nope.” I stood up, knuckling my back. “No belly rubs for you. I don’t like you right now.”
He wagged his tail. So damn cute. So annoying. I sighed and rubbed his soft, furry belly, hating how comforting it felt, like a warm security blanket.
“There. Happy?”
He rolled over and snuggled into the blankets.
“Asshole.”
The doors to the room clicked open. My head jerked up, my chest immediately tightening. I wasn’t ready to face Raul yet. I wasn’t sure if I’d ever be ready.
“Hello, ra alia.” Z’pheer stepped in and shut the door to the room with one hand, carrying a fresh tray of food in the other. The doors locked with a click.
I looked away, saying nothing.
“Breakfast time,” Z’pheer said. “Get down, Tarku.” He set the tray on the nightstand and moved the other one out of the way, setting it on a table in another part of the room. He unclasped my leash, and I wasted no time making my way to the bathroom across the room.
“I’m not hungry, Z’pheer,” I said over my shoulder. I really wasn’t. I’d never been big on breakfast, even though Xandar staff made it regulation to eat it.
I did my business and washed my hands and face. When I returned, Tarku was off the bed, Z’pheer sitting where the dog had been.
“Eat anyway.” He nodded to the tray and patted the mattress. “One of the slaves made it especially for you.”
I huffed and went to the nightstand, picking up a buttered roll. I froze, staring at the bowl there. It was filled with a delicious looking porridge, golden yellow with flecks that looked and smelled like cinnamon. A sprinkle of milk, or something like it, softened the top.
“That’s…my favorite breakfast.” Well, it was probably the closest equivalent here, and not actual oatmeal as I knew it. An unwilling smile tugged at my lips. “Z’pheer, how did you know?”
“I didn’t.” He scooted over a bit, making room for me to sit. He didn’t elaborate.
That was a hell of a coincidence then. Sighing, I sat down. The sting on my ass made me wince and I stood back up.
“Come here, alia.” He turned me around and lifted the bottom of my dress. “Oh, look at that.” He ran his palm gingerly over my ass cheeks with what felt like reverence. I swatted his hand away and rounded on him.
He was grinning. The fucker. I sat down slowly, snatched up the tray and set it across my lap. Z’pheer reached up and brushed away the hair from my cheek.
I ate a spoonful of porridge. It was delicious, sweet, but not too sweet. Soggy and mushy, with just a little hardness to it.
Z’pheer made a clucking sound. “What did you do, alia?” he whispered tenderly.
I let the spoon drop into the bowl with a clatter. Seriously? Wow. “And I thought you were the nice one.” I shook my head.
He rubbed my back. “What did you do?”
“I think I lost my appetite.” I put the tray on his lap and flounced toward the bathroom. I needed fucking space. “Help yourself.”
“Alia,” he drawled. “Come here.”
“What?” I snapped, suddenly furious at him.
“Come here, I said.” His tone was low an
d measured. Calm, compelling obedience rather than bludgeoning it.
I sighed and walked back to him, standing before him, arms crossed.
He set the tray on the nightstand and pulled my arms gently down to my sides. “What did you do?”
“I…” Guilt squirmed in me. “Why? So you can laugh and say I deserved it? So you can go out there and give your wise and caring leader a nice high five?”
“High five?”
I rolled my eyes. “It’s like…congratulations.”
“Ah. If he was in the wrong, I will speak to him.”
I made a long, pissed off noise. “Ohh, see, that’s the thing with this fucking world. On Earth, there is no if, Silverfox. Not for this.”
“Here, there is,” he said slowly.
“Yeah, I think I’m beginning to get that.”
“Are you?”
“Tell me,” I said. “Would you have done the same thing?”
“Tell me what you did.”
I flung up my hands. “Fine! I threatened him with a knife. Because he was coming at me with a sword,” I added tightly when he raised a brow in surprise. “I thought he was going to kill me.”
Z’pheer shook his head with a snort and locked his eyes on mine. “Do you have any idea what you did, alia?”
“Yeah, I know. Treason. The whole slave thing. I broke the law.”
“If you know, then what did you expect to happen?”
“Z’pheer, he was an animal. The things he said…he hurt me. You can’t know how much they hurt.”
“I know Raul did what was expected of him. I do not know how men of your world would handle it, but a man of this world cannot let what you did slide.”
“Would you have done the same thing? You wouldn’t have, I know it.”
“No. But all of us have different ways of dealing with loss, and with disobedience. Maybe not Raul’s way, but I might have done something that hurt as much.”
I stared. “What…? No, never mind, I don’t want to know.”
I did, though. Part of me longed to see what my older, experienced captor would do if I challenged him. Surely he had interesting ways of making a woman pay for defying him.
Jesus. I was twisted.
“Sit down, alia. Finish your meal, and then I’ll treat you for that pain. You’ll need it, you have a long day ahead.”
Of course I do.
I lowered myself gingerly down onto the bed, ate some more porridge and looked around the room. Raul’s room, I assumed. My thoughts swirled, my anger becoming strangely and alarmingly more blunted the longer I sat there with Z’pheer.
“What are you thinking?” He ran his fingers over my shoulder.
“Raul hates me,” I said suddenly. “He does.”
He chuckled. “No, he doesn’t. He’s grieving, little flower.”
“He blames me. He said he abandoned his people and his father because of me.”
He winced and lifted his eyes to the ceiling, rubbing my back. “Well, Raul may be king, but sometimes he isn’t all that bright.” He smiled, then the expression faded to one of concern as he looked at his knees. “But he is also in pain. He will come around.”
I hated the twinge of guilt and sympathy I felt for Raul. And I hated the feeling that I wanted to take his pain away. I knew too much about his loss not to care.
I sat beside Z’pheer in silence, finishing my breakfast. He said nothing, but his fingers lay on my arm, resting there warmly. The simple touch grounded me, like a tether that kept me from being swept up and devoured by the black hole that was Raul.
When I was done eating, he looked into the empty bowl and nodded with satisfaction, setting the tray aside. “Lie down on your stomach.”
I rolled onto the bed and turned onto my stomach. Burying my face in the pillow to hide the strange feeling of comfort I felt spreading through me at his taking care of me.
Z’pheer would always take care of me.
The older alien left the room and opened a squeaky cabinet in the bathroom, then returned. The pleasant smell of the soothing ointment he’d used on my ass before filled my nose and I heard the wet, sloshing sound of him lathering his palms with it.
The mattress dipped gently with his weight. “Where does it hurt?”
My throat tightened at his gentle tone. A tear leaked out of my eye. “Everywhere,” I lied, wanting his hands all over me, wanting to savor the massage I was about to receive.
He chuckled, a soft, soothing sound. His hands began to rub my shoulders, my back, my arms. They weren’t sore, but I wasn’t about to tell him that. He worked the muscles loose. The warmth, the care he took with me made my eyes water even more.
“What is it?” His hands had stilled on the middle of my back.
That was it. The concern, the warmth there, shattered my heart like glass. It flew apart in my chest, cutting and deep. I sobbed, my shoulders shaking. “Why are you always the nice one?” I sniffled.
“It’s the kassak in me. Healers are always nicer.” His knuckles worked out the muscles in my lower back, then his palms worked lower, over my butt. “Would you rather I was mean?”
I shook my head.
He lathered his hands again, working them down my legs. Focusing on just the right spots, the muscles Raul had used and stretched to the max.
I wiped my tears away. “Z’pheer?”
“Yes?”
“What would Malek have done? If I had threatened him?” Suddenly I needed to know, and I wasn’t sure why.
“Are you planning on pulling a knife on him?” he teased.
“No. Please tell me.”
He finished with every muscle except the one that hurt most, then gently spread my ass cheeks. I tensed until he smoothed the balm over the sensitive sore spots without going inside, being careful not to press too hard.
“He probably would have whipped you. Trussed you up somewhere and used every hole you had.”
I lifted my head. “Seriously?” Why was my pussy throbbing at that? I put my head back down. “What would you have done?”
“I don’t know. I’d have to think about it. No woman has ever tried anything like that with me. Maybe you should try it and see.” He snorted.
Absurdly, I giggled into the pillow. He gave my bottom a light, but firm swat that made me whimper.
“Stay there.” The mattress shifted as he stood up. Feet scuffed across the floor, water ran, and then a moment later, he climbed onto the bed and carefully pulled me into his arms. “Come here, little flower.”
I stiffened but he ignored it and laid my head on his chest, pulled my leg over his, and cradled my nape. The heat of his body seeped in, soothing me and making me sleepy. I relaxed into him before I realized what I’d done. He slid my arm around his waist and nuzzled my hair.
The sobs came again, and I buried my face in his chest, clutching at his shoulder.
“Shh. I’m right here.”
That made me cry harder.
He held me tighter. “I know, alia. Punishments are never easy.”
“It’s not just that. I…” I didn’t even know how to articulate what I was thinking. It felt as if there was just too much to process.
“I know. You’ve been through a lot.”
I thought I knew what he was referring to. Being on a whole new world I barely understood, taken from the only world I knew. The Rith nearly killing us twice. Seeing Raul’s father die right before my eyes. Feeling so much pain from a man I was supposed to hate… It was all much too much.
“You’ve been so brave.” Z’pheer pressed his warm lips to my forehead. “You’ve taken much more than most could handle in these past few days. I’m proud of you, my little flower.”
His words made me feel cared for and cherished beyond measure, tugging at my heart. But they also baffled me. How could a man from a world that seemed built on brutality and barbarism be so understanding? It made my heart feel like it was being squeezed in a tight fist.
“Why does it have to be thi
s way, though?” I whispered.
“It just does. It is who we are. And it’s also who you are now, too. You’ll see. Your body has already begun to accept it. The rest of you will soon catch up.”
“So there is something. Something in Xandari men that does this, makes a woman…need it.”
“Almost. It all comes down to biology. Your body is…wired for us. We are your perfect mates. I am sure you have sensed this already.”
Was that why they smelled so damn good? My body, everything I was, was their perfect match? Hell, just thinking about that made my head hurt. I closed my eyes and sighed. “I just don’t know how to accept any of this. On Earth… This is just wrong.”
“It feels that way now. One day, that will change.”
“I don’t want that day to come. I don’t.”
His fingers massaged my nape. “You cannot stop it any more than you can stop the night from coming.”
I sniffed as he wiped my tears away, too confused and ashamed of my own needs and longings to speak. I nodded and held him tighter.
In that moment, as he held me, something terrible happened. My heart broke open again, and something more frightening than pain spilled out. Something warm and soothing, something agonizingly real.
Something I’d never forgive myself for.
I was falling for one of my captors.
Fuck, I had feelings for Z’pheer. I felt too close to him and only wanted to be closer.
Shit, I was in a whole heap of trouble now.
After bathing and dressing, Malek came for me. Z’pheer had left earlier, giving me a long, probing kiss that immediately laid bare my feelings for him. I wasn’t ready to face those feelings any more than I was ready to leave this suite and face the day. The thought of falling for him was ridiculous and futile. Malek had told me Xandari men didn’t love slaves, and it hurt to know my feelings would never be returned, but the emotion also loomed larger than life, inescapable.
With my leash back on—but no muzzle this time, thank God—we walked for several minutes to a set of large metal doors at the end of a hall. Two uniformed guards stood by them and opened the doors when they saw us.