by Mia Moore
She nodded.
"I want to know what's your favorite color? And why it is?
"I want to know, does your heart clench with pain when you see a Christmas tree? Just a little bit, because there's no Santa, and you wish you didn't know that? And how did Christmas lose that part of innocent joy, but more importantly, Jessica, what did you replace that joy with to make Christmas better?
"I want to, I have to know… he took in a lungful of air, This was so fucking scary and he was so fucking heroic because…because he was so goddamn afraid… "Everything, Jessica. I have to know everything about you, every God damn thing, see?"
He could barely control himself- Oh fuck, she was just lying there, and he was speed-rapping like a meth head!
"I have to know all there is to know about you, all that there ever was about you, don't you see? Don't you see?"
He gasped. This was the hardest thing he had ever done in his life. He had never felt as bare as he did in that moment. Ever.
"You see-" he gasped again, "you see… I have to get all of you in me. I have to get you in me. Because then, because then, if you're in me, we'd be US. We'd begin to be us, see? And then, and then, we'd be able to go on."
His hands dropped to his side. He stood before her, his eyes wide.
"Then, we'd be able to go on as us, Jessica. We'd be able to go on… together. I hope you'll take me," he finished, holding out his arms.
There. He was done. It wasn't nearly as good as what he had rehearsed driving back from Kingston, not by a long shot. He wasn't naked then. He wasn't in front of her then. He hoped it was enough.
"Well…" She replied when the silence felt just long enough, "I was kind of hoping YOU'D take me, y'know." She held her arms up to him.
He lowered himself back into the bed, and scooped her into his arms. They lay quietly holding each other. His hand slid under her neck and held her as her hand caressed his shoulders. Silently, they appraised one another, enraptured in this moment, savoring each breath.
Lowering his head, he kissed her. Tongues tentative at first, gently met like the soft breeze of summer. They were timid- the pain, the hurt, the fear, still fresh. A grasp too hard, a stroke too strong, could threaten this delicate beginning.
Cautiously, they caressed. They tasted each other's mouth with the delicacy of a gourmet. Each touch was accepted and returned. A grazing hand was rewarded with a sigh. A soft caress was returned with increased firmness. The delicacy gave way to hunger, and they began to deeply kiss, mouths open, taking and accepting.
Encouraged now, his hands tugged at her clothing. Eager as well, she shrugged the straps of her top, and kicked her heels off. As she had done with him moments earlier; he peeled her clothing away. They watched each other as bustier, panties and hosiery became fabric on the floor beside the bed, ending with both of them naked in each others' arms.
Reverently, he kissed her body; his mouth nibbled her neck and shoulder. She kissed his ear, his head, as her hands stroked his back. With his fingers, he caressed her breast before kissing the roundness, taking her hardened nipple between his lips. She responded with a shudder and as he gently bit down, harder, he was rewarded with her moan, craving more.
Craig’s loving veneration of her body gave way to urgency as he pressed his hips into her thighs. Her hand reached to stroke him. He gasped at her touch.
"Craig! Pleeasseee…"
Trailing kisses and nibbles down the length of her body, he stopped at her tummy. With one hand, he stroked her belly; his tongue brushed her navel and deepened her arousal. Her abdomen undulated with yearning. His fingers slipped down and gently caressed the slippery folds of her desire.
"Craig, now… love me, Craig. Now!"
Caught in her urgency, he raised himself along the length of her body, outstretched now above her. "Jessica.." he whispered.
She grasped him and guided him into her, thrusting her hips upward to possess all of him, her Craig, in love and lust. The exquisite fullness for her, feeling him push inside, deeper and deeper. With a final thrust, she was claimed; she gasped aloud.
He eased back; her hands reached up and grasped his waist, fingernails digging in and pulling him into her once more.
"No, no, nooo…" she sighed, urging his fullness to return.
He pushed inside again, deeper. Jessica gasped, that became a groan, which became a sigh as he surged and swelled within her.
Craig's dark melded into Jessica's light. The pain of his yesterdays flowed into her joy, her wounded heart now shielded by his strength.
Clutching each other, they made love. Their bodies glistening now they slid onto and into one another. Rolling over, she gazed at him from above, pressing herself down on top of him, impaling herself. A sheen of sweat from her tummy glistened across his waist. Her hips pulsated up and down onto his. His hands kneaded her breasts, roughly now. He raised his chest, his hands clutched onto her flesh with a hunger he had never known before.
Their bodies buffeted each other, trying to achieve what their hearts, their souls had already done, union.
Craig felt himself swelling, felt urgency. He rolled her onto her back with a tender fury.
"My Jessica! MY RRAACHELL!" he growled.
Craig was stripped to his essence- no, he was flayed to his core. When he entered her body, all of his being connected with hers. He was lost inside his Jessica. Pain and sorrow and loneliness fell away from him in heavy blocks and exploded into oblivion. His being was free now. Free to love without boundaries - this woman, his Jessica. Silken tenderness, savage lust, was but point and counterpoint of the same melody. His walls, no longer needed, faded as mist. His heart and soul, Jessica's heart and soul, filled the void.
Each of them had been as two separate stars- all alone in the night. Their stars collided, begetting brilliance as they cherished each other as one. Thrusting and yearning, giving generously and taking greedily, they fell into and within each other. Jessica took Craig's face in her hands.
"Craig!" she groaned, "look at me!"
His eyes opened; his deep brown melded with her olive green.
Crying to one another. From far and away they cried to each other, and joined. Across forever they flew to each other. Their collision blinded them.
Together, they entered a new place, one of music, warmth, and of light.
Tumbling together, they did not fall.
They flew. Bursting through time and space, through sorrow and solitude, joined as one, they flew to the music, the light.
They flew home. Home to each other. Finally, finally home, they welcomed each other to their new world.
Geronimo.
Chapter 22
The smell of coffee brewing woke Craig the next morning. Sitting up, his first conscious thought was how peaceful he felt. A small voice inside niggled that this sense of well being would pass soon enough. He shoo'ed it away like an annoying gnat. Not even a mosquito- a gnat.
Draped over the foot of the bed was an extra large terry robe. Pinned on it was a note which read
Please put me on. I've been waiting for you for over a week.
He smiled as he slipped it on, and padded out of the bedroom, drawn to the sound of her soft voice singing softly and the aroma of brewed coffee.
Jessica looked up from the stove, and they smiled at each other.
"Hey…" they said in unison.
"Hey back…" they laughed.
He approached her and kissed the tip of her nose. She slid her hands behind his neck, pulling his face down to hers and gave him a loud kiss.
"Now that's a proper good morning kiss, Professor.”
He poured his coffee, and together they casually completed the typical morning ritual developed by couples everywhere- 'how did you sleep?', 'what's for breakfast?', 'looks like a nice day?'
"Y'wanna know something?" he asked, after taking his first sip.
"What's that?"
"I'm not feeling it."
"Feeling what?"
&nb
sp; "You know, the ‘on edge’ feeling the morning after a sleep over."
"Hmmm…" She was stirring a pot, watching it to ensure it didn't overheat. "Well, it's not the first night and morning together, y'know…"
"Yeah, you're right about that, I guess- but in a way, it is."
She glanced at him. "No holding back, you mean. Last night was the first time you didn't hold back."
He nodded.
"And you're not scared right now? You're okay?"
He smiled and nodded again.
She removed the pot from the burner and set it aside, giving it a few more stirs to cool it. Stepping close to him, she raised her hand and gently stroked his face. "I don't know all the details about you, Craig, but I do understand this past week a little better."
He covered her hand with his own- her touch on his face felt so good this morning; if he was a cat, he'd be purring right now.
"This past week, I was so hurt and angry." Her brow furrowed.
"Yes, I know. And I'm -"
"Hush now. And last week you were afraid. Terribly, terribly afraid, Craig."
He nodded.
"Last night, we both did something wonderful. Last night, you decided to allow your heart the freedom to love, without fear. And I decided to allow that love to heal my anger and hurt."
He nodded again.
"Craig, we were both very brave last night." The unblinking gaze into each others' eyes underscored her truth.
"Not to mention very, very horny!" She smirked.
She released his face and turned back to the stovetop. The eggs were ready, and the toaster oven pinged, announcing the English Muffins were also done.
"Okay, not scared or brave now. But still horny."
"Glad to hear that, mister- me too. Breakfast is ready."
"Great- I'm starving." They sat down to eat.
"Eggs Benedict?" He asked.
"Yes, you made it for me, and now it's my turn to make it for you."
Craig grinned. "Oh, a competition, huh?"
"No, it's no contest- mine are better."
"Oh really! I'm pretty good around a kitchen, you know."
She laughed. "I know you are! It's just that… well, try them and see for yourself."
Craig took a bite. He looked at her questioningly. "How?"
"I honestly don't know. Well, in a sense I do. My sauce was fresh made, and yours came out of an envelope. I added a few drops of lime juice too. The rest… I don't know."
He nodded. Judy was right about Jessica. Breakfast was wonderful.
Together they finished breakfast quickly.
Leaving their empty plates on the table, they went into the bathroom and showered together.
A long shower.
As she was towel drying her hair, She asked him. "So, how did it go for you in New York?"
Finally he got to brag.
He told her how the meeting at Doubleday went- they were going to get behind his newest book in a big way. Their marketing department was gearing up for interviews, magazine articles and reviews.
"The Book of The Month Club is looking at it too," he concluded. They were sitting next to each other on the bed.
"Aaand?" She urged.
"And what?" His eyes were innocent.
She cuffed him on the side of his head. Just like her mother had done the day before. Just like Hamish used to. He smiled. "I don't know what you're driving at!"
"Grrr. The Times?"
"Oh. That." He stretched over to his pants on the floor and fished something out of the pocket.
"Well, when I went into the meeting, I was hoping that maybe they'd ask me to do an Op-Ed piece a couple times a year."
"So?"
"Well, they didn't."
"Oh Craig, I'm sorry. Well, why did they bring you down there?"
"They offered me a job."
"What!"
"Yup. Steady gig, twice a month, 1200-2500 words discussing whatever I want. And they're paying really, really well- when they say 'go big or go home' in New York, they're not kidding, Jessica!"
"Oh Craig, that's wonderful! Congratulations sweetheart!" She threw her arms around him and hugged him hard.
"Yeah, as a journalist, I knew that you'd see how big a deal this was for me."
"So how did you negotiate?" she asked.
"Pretty simple. I said yes! I signed a letter of agreement, and they're mailing me a contract for my lawyer to go over."
He shook his head. "They knew they had me from the start." He opened his hand; a gold business card holder glinted, full of cards with his name and the Times' logo. "They had this ready for me when I walked in."
He eased out one of the cards out and handed it to her. She oooh'ed and ahhh'ed appropriately.
"I thought of you as soon as I saw those cards."
She looked at him, "That's sweet, Craig, but come on, we weren’t even speaking.”
"I figured you'd say that. Turn that card over."
She flipped it over. On the back he had written her name, the date and time. It was the date he was in New York. She looked silently at him.
"I didn't know where we were going to be that week, Jessica. I really didn’t. But I was thinking of you. And I wanted to share that moment with you. So in a kind of stupid way," he said, pointing at the card, "I did."
She kissed him again.
Breaking off the kiss, he said, "We need to make some phone calls, you know."
"Huh?"
"We gotta call your mother, and Annik."
"What about your buddy- what kind of name is Sleaze anyway?"
"Fuck him." He smiled. He'd fill his buddy in when it was just the two of them.
He reached for his cell phone and started to dial. "You know, this is kind of weird for me Jessica, calling your mom and all."
"YOU think it's weird? You think it's weird for you? Listen, buster- a guy takes me to a sex club, we don't have sex there. We come back to my place. We have great, awesome stunning sex! Then, he walks out the door, and tries to walk out of my life." She ran her hand through her hair.
"Now it gets beyond weird- it goes Twilight Zone! He visits MY mother! And what does SHE do? Why cook him dinner of course! Then he comes back to MY place and we have sex again! A bunch of times! And now he wants to give my mother an update! AND YOU THINK IT'S WEIRD FOR YOU?"
"I see. You'll call her tomorrow?"
"You bet!"
"Okay." He turned back to his cell phone.
"Now what are you doing!"
"Just sending her a text?"
She grabbed the phone out of his hand. "STOP IT!"
He started to laugh.
They compromised- Jessica sent both her mother and Annik a text telling them she'd call them later in the week.
As they were tidying up the kitchen from breakfast, he asked, "So, when do you think we should move in together?"
She stopped dead. "You mean it?"
"Well, yeah. I love you, you love me, so when should we move in together? You rent here, right? So maybe we move in to my house? Or should we buy a place together? I don't know, that's why I'm asking."
"I think that's a good idea."
"You do? Good. So-"
"So we can talk about it in a year."
"A year! Are you kidding?"
She closed the dishwasher. "Look, Craig, we're just starting. Let's not put the cart before the horse, okay? We both have our own lives already- it's not like we're a couple of kids. You're thirty-two. You have an established way of living your life right now; so let's ease into each other's lives, okay?"
A twinge of pain passed over his eyes. She crossed the room and put her arms around his neck. "Hey, Craig, I'm not saying I don't want to."
"Sounds like that to me…"
She kissed him lightly. "No, I DO want to! I just want to do this right. And by taking our time, when we do move in, it'll be great!"
"Well maybe in a year I won't want to shack up with you. Maybe in a year I'd want to marry you
."
"And maybe in a year, I'd want to marry you, too! Let's find out!" She smiled.
"Sounds like a plan. Next thing we'll be talking about kids!"
Jessica turned her head, her face bright. "Maybe."
"I never thought I'd ever be talking about kids, Jessica. And here I am doing that with you."
"We'll see about kids… okay?" She looked back in his eyes. "One step at a time, what do you say?"
"I say you're right."
"Good. Maybe we can start with a dog, anyway."
"Funny, I was thinking about a dog this past week."
"Hmmm… that IS funny."
They made simple plans for the evening. Together they would cook dinner, rent a movie, and he'd spend the night again. Having begged off work that day, she needed to be at the office the next.
They walked to the nearest grocery store for some items for dinner. On the way back, holding his hand, she asked if he was serious about a dog.
"Yeah, I was."
"Any particular breed?"
"No, not really. Why?"
She guided him into the pet store she had visited the previous afternoon. Jack was again behind the counter. Seeing Jessica, he called his boss over to chat with her for a few minutes. Craig was somewhat mystified, until the owner nodded and Jack brought Pearl out to Jessica. The cuddly black pup wore a rhinestone studded harness with a name tag and Jessica's phone number on it.
"Well, Craig? Meet our dog!" Jessica said, handing the puppy to him. "Look, she has your eyes!"
He held the puppy up to his face.
Pearl snorted and licked the tip of his nose. It was her A-game.
Craig fell in love.
Later that evening, as they watched a romantic comedy on TV. Jessica was stretched across Craig's lap, and Pearl was asleep on her tummy. As the movie ended, they collected themselves to head to bed, Pearl on the floor in her doggie bed beside them.
Snuggling into his body, Jessica whispered, "You know, it's pretty wonderful being in love with you."
"It's pretty wonderful being in love with you too."
"I'm so happy."
"Me too."
"Now, I hope that you're not going to take this the wrong way…"
"Uh oh. What?"