Josh and I exchanged astonished looks. ‘You’d really do all of that?’ he asked.
She grinned. ‘You want to ask why, don’t you?’
He looked sheepish. ‘Yes, but it sounds rude. The thing is, we’ve only just met you and you don’t even know my dad. It’s a big undertaking and so generous.’
‘When I was little, I was that kid. You know the weird, quirky one who talks to themselves and approaches life a little differently? I never really fit in. I wasn’t bullied but I didn’t have friends either. I didn’t mind because my grandparents had this amazing farm so I spent loads of time there. My grandma would often ask whether I wanted to invite friends to the farm, particularly when it was lambing season because they could help feed them. I’d make excuses but then I admitted that I didn’t have any friends I could ask. She said to me, “You know how to get lots of friends, don’t you? Always be kind.” It went way over my head at first but I watched the other kids and started to work out what she meant. They often said nasty things and fell out with each other and I could see how much hurt it caused so I looked for things I could do that would be kind instead. If somebody fell over and scraped their knee, I’d be the one to clean them up. If somebody didn’t have a snack, I shared mine. I didn’t make a big deal out of it. I didn’t expect anything back but, by the time I finished primary school, I had more friends than I knew what to do with. I think it helped that I was nice to everyone, even the class bully. I was never in a gang and never had a best friend and I’ve stuck to that throughout life. Kindness and friendship attracts kindness and friendship and makes everyone happy, including me.’
I smiled at her. ‘That’s so lovely.’
Josh looked from me to Fizz and back again. ‘The pair of you are like kindred spirits.’ He turned to Fizz. ‘Sammie’s the kindest person I’ve ever met. What was that saying your Gramps had, Sam? Something about giving roses and keeping the fragrance.’
‘The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose. It was apparently something Nanna used to say.’
‘No way!’ Fizz cried. ‘That’s what my grandma always says and I’ve never come across anyone who’s heard it before.’
Josh laughed. ‘Definitely kindred spirits.’
‘That is so weird,’ Fizz said. ‘Wouldn’t it be strange if our grandparents knew each other and that’s why they both knew that phrase?’
‘It’s certainly possible. Mine aren’t with us anymore but they were both Wolds born and bred. They lived in Little Tilbury for most of their married life.’
‘I’ll have to ask Grandma. What were their names?’
‘Elizabeth and William Danby. They’d have both been coming up to seventy-seven.’
‘About the same age as mine. I’m seeing them at the weekend so I’ll check.’
We continued chatting about Fizz’s childhood as we fed the hoglets then moved onto the adults. It turned out that she and Josh knew a lot of the same people although that was hardly surprising because Fizz seemed to know everyone.
Josh went over to the farmhouse to prepare a meal and invited Fizz to stay. Over dinner, she wanted to know how the setting up of the rescue centre had come about so I told her the full story including my uncertainty as to whether I was the right person to fulfil Thomas and Gwendoline’s dreams.
Fizz widened her eyes in surprise. ‘You really had doubts?’
I nodded. ‘It was huge. I knew very little about hedgehogs at the time and I knew nothing about running a charity. It’s been one heck of a learning curve.’
‘After seeing you with Neo earlier, you are absolutely the perfect person, and you seemed as though you’d been handling hedgehogs for years rather than months.’
‘Thank you, Fizz. That means a lot.’
Fizz had to leave to meet a friend after dinner so I walked her to her car. ‘I’ve just realised that we haven’t discussed what volunteering here on a more regular basis might involve.’
‘It’s fine. I decided it could wait.’ She smiled. ‘As soon as you said about Josh’s dad, I knew you’d have had too much on your plate to think about it and, actually, you probably need more time to settle into the full-time role before you decide how you could best use me. So how about we leave it that I’ll come and help with the hoglets a couple of nights a week but I’m at your disposal whenever you’re ready to have something more structured?’
‘That would be great. I’ve got so many ideas about what we could do but, you’re right, there is so much else going on up here at the moment.’ I tapped my forehead.
Fizz gave me a quick hug. ‘Thanks for letting me be part of something so special.’
‘Thank you for wanting to be part of it.’
As I waved her goodbye, I couldn’t stop smiling. I went round to the back of the house. The security light lit the garden but the meadow beyond it was in darkness.
‘Did you send her to us?’ I asked. ‘I think you did. Thank you so much.’ I pressed my fingers to my lips and blew my kiss in the direction of the meadow. ‘Goodnight, both of you.’ The gentle breeze kissed my cheek and I knew they were there, looking out for me as always, doing what they could to help the centre thrive.
It had been a month of ups and downs but, as we moved into June next week, things were looking very promising. Fizz had sparkled into our life, Josh was rebuilding his relationship with his dad, Connie had found her ‘moment-man’ and there’d be no more visits from the Grimes family. All we needed now was to find a donor for Paul and for Mum to find a way to start to heal. The odds of finding a stem cell donor match for Paul were not good but I favoured them over the odds of Mum addressing the past. If only there was something I could say or do.
54
Josh
I opened my eyes on Saturday morning and gazed down at Sammie asleep beside me, her dark hair fanned round her on the pillow. Her left cheek held little reminder of the assault a week ago. The bruising had faded to beige and yellow and, with the stitches now out, there was a faint red line which would be barely visible over time.
‘Mmm, that was a good sleep.’ Without opening her eyes, she reached out towards me and I clasped her hand in mine. ‘My dad’s a saint for doing the full nightshift.’
‘He certainly is, especially as this weekend is going to be manic.’
Beth had been discharged on Wednesday afternoon. She’d be on strong painkillers for some time and needed to avoid heavy lifting – not that she could do much with a broken arm and collar bone – but was making good progress otherwise. She’d been staying in a room at the hospital since then for easy access to Lottie who would hopefully be discharged tomorrow or on Monday at which point they’d officially move in.
I’d always thought Beth rented her flat but it turned out that Dad actually owned it, having bought it for Beth to live in about a year after they met. He’d managed to let it out to a work colleague with immediate effect so Dave had stepped in yet again and offered his van today for moving their personal belongings out. Rich had swapped a shift so he could help too. Three pairs of hands should make speedy work of it.
‘What time is it?’ Sammie asked.
‘Half seven.’
She opened her eyes and gave me a sleepy smile. ‘You realise that this could be one of the last times we’re alone in the house for a long time?’ She shimmied closer and lightly kissed me. ‘Better make the most of it.’
‘Dave will be here in fifteen minutes.’ My objection wasn’t very convincing as I surrendered to her touch.
‘We’ve had our test results back,’ Dave said as we headed down the farm track a little later. I knew from his regretful tone that it was a no before he even said it. ‘Sorry, mate.’
I sighed. ‘Not to worry. It was a long shot but worth trying.’
‘Hang in there,’ Rich said. ‘I’m sure somebody will be a match. Or the chemo will work.’
‘Yeah, hopefully.’ There were no matches from work so far although not all the results had come back yet. Hannah h
ad phoned last night to say neither she nor Toby were matches. Each negative result filled me with panic that I could lose Dad, followed by guilt that my stubbornness had kept us apart for so long. Sammie had been such a tower of strength, trying to keep me focused on the time I had with Dad now – however long or short that might be – instead of regretting the wasted months.
‘What have you both been up to this week?’ I asked, keen to change the subject.
‘Good week for me. Lots of saves and no fatalities.’ Rich was an ambulance paramedic. It was how he’d met Sammie after she found Thomas collapsed.
‘Big barn conversion over at the coast near Roxborough Cliffs for me,’ Dave said. ‘It’s a bloke I do quite a bit of work for. He buys up old buildings like barns, churches and schools and gets us to sympathetically convert them into holiday cottages.’
As Dave chatted about his current project, I pictured the outbuildings at Hedgehog Hollow. It seemed such a waste not to use them. They needed a lot of work but the structures themselves were solid. Was there potential to convert them into holiday cottages? Hedgehog Hollow was a stunning setting and not too far from the coast so would be an attractive place to stay. Could there be a way to connect it to the charity and offer hedgehog handling experiences? I quickly dismissed the thought. It would be too stressful for the hogs but there would be nothing stopping visitors finding out about the work Sammie did.
‘Is there much money left from what Thomas set aside for the renovations?’ I asked Dave.
‘Quite a bit. I was hoping to find a quiet moment with Sam to ask what she wants me to do with it but there’s not been a quiet moment since she moved in.’
‘Is there enough to turn one of the barns into a holiday cottage?’
‘Definitely. Maybe two. Why? Is that what you’re thinking of?’
I shrugged. ‘We’ve not really discussed what to do with the outbuildings but hearing you talk about holiday cottages has got me thinking.’
‘I bet he’d love to be let loose on that cow shed,’ Rich said.
Dave laughed. ‘And the stables. The more unusual and quirkier the property, the better.’
The cogs were whirring. ‘Don’t say anything to Sammie. She’s got enough on her mind with my dad’s family about to descend on us but I’ll talk to her about it when everyone’s settled in and, who knows, we might have a future project for you at the farm.’
55
Samantha
I was on my way over to the barn to relieve Dad when I spotted a car driving extremely slowly along the farm track. My heart started racing. Why were they going so slowly? Please don’t say it’s more of the Grimes family trying to creep in unnoticed. Surely they wouldn’t be so stupid after the police warning.
I opened the barn door. Dad was at the treatment table with the hoglets. ‘Morning, Dad. There’s a car approaching so I’ll be in shortly.’
‘Okay. Shout if you need me.’
I hoped I wouldn’t but it was good to know he was there, just in case.
When Dave picked up Josh, he’d handed over a bag full of wooden hedgehog platforms to help hogs escape from water that his joiner friend had made from off-cuts. I placed the bag on the floor then waited in the doorway as the car pulled into the yard, my heartrate steadying as I spotted wedding ribbons tied across the bonnet.
I’d placed a pair of thick gloves and a crate near the door in case anyone needed to make a speedy drop-off so I grabbed them and walked over to the car as a middle-aged woman wearing a beautiful pale lemon dress and matching fascinator exited the driver’s side.
‘Good morning. Can I help you?’
She smiled. ‘We’re on our way to a wedding as you can probably tell by the outfit but we’ve found a hedgehog.’ She opened the back passenger door to reveal a suited man with a red tartan picnic blanket on his knee and a hedgehog laid across it.
‘It was in the middle of the road about a mile back.’ He gently lifted the blanket towards me. ‘We thought it had been hit by a car but there’s no blood and I can’t see any obvious injuries.’
I pulled on my gloves, bent down and placed the crate beside me. The poor thing didn’t look good. Hedgehogs should look nice and round but this one was clearly very emaciated, giving it more of a wedge-shaped appearance.
‘I’m afraid we didn’t have anything to put it in,’ the man said, ‘but it’s just laid here as good as gold. Will it be alright?’
I lifted the hog off the rug and turned it over in my hands. It didn’t even attempt to curl into a protective ball suggesting it was completely devoid of energy. They were right about the lack of obvious injuries. ‘I can’t promise that but I’ll do my best. It’s a girl, by the way.’ I gently placed her in the crate. ‘Hopefully she’s just hungry and thirsty but I’ll give her a thorough check-over inside. Thanks for bringing her in.’
‘You’re a charity, aren’t you?’ the woman asked nodding towards her husband who was clambering out of the car.
‘Yes, so there’s no charge.’
The man pressed a twenty-pound note into my hand. ‘Hopefully this will cover some food and medicine.’
‘That’s very generous of you. Much appreciated.’
The woman handed the car keys to him and pointed to her strappy sandals as she caught my eye. ‘I can barely drive in these but I was scared of messing up my dress if the hedgehog rolled off the blanket.’
So that’s why the car was crawling along the track. Nothing sinister at all. I hated that the Grimes family had done this to me, making me suspicious of all visitors. I said goodbye and made my way into the barn to examine our latest patient. Thursday’s new arrival had been christened Neo so it made sense to stick with The Matrix and call her Trinity.
‘More hoglets?’ Dad looked up from feeding.
‘No. Adult female – Trinity – extremely dehydrated.’ I put the crate down. The heat pads were set up on the table but there weren’t any hoglets on them. ‘Where’re the others?’
‘They’re really feisty this morning. I decided it was easier to keep them in their crates and only feed one at a time or it would have been like lemmings in here. Ariel’s my last one then I’m done.’
‘Thanks, Dad. I really appreciate the night off. Best sleep in ages.’
I cleared a couple of the heat pads away, wiped down the table and weighed Trinity. As expected, she was underweight. Her skin felt loose and she’d lost a few spines but a closer inspection didn’t reveal any cuts or any sign of flystrike. It was likely that she’d struggled to find food and water in the warm weather and it had taken its toll on her. We’d had a few hours of torrential rain the day Beth fell down the stairs but nothing in the week since then.
‘We’ll get some fluids into you, little one, and fatten you up a bit.’
I placed her on the heat pad I’d left out as I prepared a dish of food and another of water. I positioned them close to the pad and felt reassured when her nose started twitching. Moments later, she slowly shuffled towards the food. Another sniff of the air and she dived in, eagerly slurping and smacking her lips together. Hedgehogs are phenomenally noisy eaters but I love the sound knowing that each mouthful is helping them to recover.
‘There’s certainly nothing wrong with Trinity’s appetite,’ Dad said as he returned Ariel to her siblings.
‘That’s a relief. Do you think she could have had a litter and abandoned them somewhere?’
‘Possibly. But if she has, they’re not likely to have survived. If she’s been struggling to feed herself, she’s not going to have managed to feed babies.’
‘That makes me sad.’
‘I know, poppet, but we…’
‘Can’t save them all,’ we chorused together.
I gave him a weak smile. ‘I wish we could.’
After she’d finished her food, I settled Trinity in her crate and cleared the table. Dad put the kettle on while he tidied the bedding and folded away the sofa bed.
‘Speaking of saving people,’ I said a
s we sat down on the sofa bed with mugs of tea five minutes later, ‘how are you feeling now after what you told me about Mum?’
Dad pondered for a moment. ‘Conflicted. I think it’s right that you know and I can imagine it’s explained a few things. But, for me, the guilt is worse than ever.’
‘It wasn’t your fault, Dad. Or Mum’s or your friend’s. The only person to blame is the man who raped her. Him and him only. You do know that?’ I took in his hunched shoulders and downcast eyes. ‘Unless… did Mum blame you?’
He didn’t meet my eyes but I could tell from the way his shoulders tensed that I’d hit the nail on the head.
‘She was hurting, Dad. People lash out at the ones they love the most when they’re in pain.’ As I said the words, it struck me that she’d lashed out at me all my life. I knew now it was because of how hurt she was but did that meant that, deep down she loved me? It certainly didn’t feel like it. But she had loved Dad and he had to hold onto that.
He finally looked up. ‘What have you got planned for today?’
‘Busy day. Connie’s coming for a cuppa at some point, I have a handful of hedgehog releases and a stack of emails to go through.’
Dad stood up. ‘I’d better let you crack on. Don’t worry about me. Lots of thoughts and memories swirling round at the moment but I’m fine and, believe it or not, your mum’s doing okay. I spoke to her last night.’
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