by M. K. Eidem
"Nikhil...” she slowly moved and sat down beside him. "You haven't failed me. How could you even think that? From the first moment I laid eyes on you, you have been my one constant, the only one I've totally trusted, the only one whose only concern was for me. Me." She started to reach out and touch him but pulled her hand back. "I know I'm not what you were looking for when you woke up yesterday. All you wanted to do was your duty, not get saddled with a mess like me."
"Saddled?"
"Burdened with...”
"Burdened?" Nikhil's eyes began to burn more than glow, and he gripped her upper arms lifting her off the couch, pulling her in front of him so they were eye to eye. "You think you are a burden to me?!! That I regret having you come into my life?"
She let out a little squeak when Nikhil pulled her onto his lap, her hands gripping the thick muscles of his arms, that were now vibrating with rage, for balance. She should have been terrified at being manhandled like this, especially after how the Zaludians had treated her, but she wasn't. This was Nikhil, and he'd never harm her.
"I think." She carefully licked her lips before continuing. "That I have complicated your life. I'm a mess, Nikhil. My emotions are all over the place. I'm happy I'm alive, and scared out of my mind at the same time. I want to be with my friends. They are the only ones that really understand what I've gone through, and yet...”
"And yet?"
"And yet I don't want to leave you," she whispered. "That’s not fair to you, not when you are only doing what you feel you must because of this." She reached up and touched his True Mate bead in her hair.
"Mackenzie...” The anger that had filled him quickly faded, He had failed her because he hadn't adequately explained the connection between True Mates. She was feeling it, and it was confusing her. Especially after all that had happened to her. He would not fail her again. Taking a deep breath, he spoke to her from his heart.
"You truly don't understand what a gift... a blessing from the Goddess herself, it is to have a True Mate. You complete me in a way I cannot adequately express. I am no longer alone, there is now more to my life than just duty and battle. There is you." His gaze traveled over her, and he still couldn't believe she was here. "I know this is all new and confusing to you. Your people seem to practice different traditions and don't have True Mates, but...”
"We have something similar," she whispered. "We call them Soul Mates."
"Soul Mates," Nikhil tried the words on his lips.
"Yes. They are said to be a person's other half. The one that makes them whole."
"As you have made me." Nikhil's knuckle gently caressed her cheek.
"Have I?" she asked looking up at him uncertainly.
Nikhil frowned at the doubt he saw in her eyes. "Yes! What is making you question it? I already feel you, here." He thumped a fist against his chest. "You are a part of me. The most precious part."
"Then why...” she bit her bottom lip and looked away.
"Then why what?" Nikhil cupped her chin, tipping it up then waited for her to look at him. "Mackenzie... tell me."
"Why do you not want me to touch you or kiss you? Is it something Kaliszians don't do?"
"No! I mean, yes! Yes, we do touch and kiss."
"But you don't want to with me."
"Of course, I do!"
"Then why did you stop me from touching you. Why didn't you like it when I kissed you?"
"I did!" he instantly denied. He couldn't believe it; this was what was causing all her doubt and confusion. Him, trying to restrain himself so he wouldn't overwhelm her? Well if that were the case, he would show her exactly how much he wanted her. Sinking his fingers into her lush dark hair, he pulled her lips to his.
Chapter Seven
Mac was shocked when Nikhil's fingers suddenly sank into her hair and pulled her forward, capturing her lips in a hard kiss. She hadn't expected it, but before she could respond, he pulled away.
"You think that I do not want you?" he growled, ripping his lips away from hers. "That I wouldn't welcome your touch, your lips, anywhere on me?"
Before she could answer, he captured her lips again and gave her a longer, harder kiss that had her heart pounding, and her hands gripping his braids.
"You are my True Mate," he said breaking off the kiss again to glare down at her, "and I will never be able to live without you now that I have found you."
"Nikhil!" It was Mac's turn to growl, and she tugged on his braids. "Stop teasing and kiss me!"
Nikhil's eyes widened slightly at her demand, and then obeyed, covering her mouth with his, his tongue demanded entry and she gave it.
She let out a little cry of joy as her tongue touched Nikhil's and she tasted him for the first time. He tasted like that first crisp hint of winter on a cold mountain morning. Fresh, clean, and welcoming, at least to her.
Nikhil's hands moved, one cupping the back of her head, tilting it so he could attack her mouth from a different angle. It all felt amazing, and she let herself sink deeper into the kiss as her tongue curled around his returning the caress. She'd kissed a man before, had been kissed back by one, but it had never been like this. Nikhil was strength and gentleness, demand and retreat, his tongue first caressing then sparring with hers. All the while his other hand slid down along her back until he reached bare skin where his shirt ended along her thigh and the calloused tips of his fingers began caressing her skin.
Mac broke off the kiss gasping for breath and gazed up into Nikhil's glowing eyes. "Damn, you're a good kisser," she whispered.
"So are you," Nikhil growled, pulling her lips back to his and she couldn't wait for the next assault on her senses. Instead, Nikhil stilled and pulled back to gaze down at her sharply, the glow in his eyes changing. "You've kissed a male on the lips before."
"Of course." She tried to close the distance between their lips, but was held firmly in place, and she looked up at him in confusion. "Nikhil?"
"Many males?" he questioned.
"A couple. I don't see what...”
"Only Pleasure Workers kiss males on the lips," he told her shortly.
"Pleasure workers?" Mac jerked her mouth away from his. She knew what a pleasure worker was. The Zaludians had meant to sell her to a Pleasure House. The one wearing the red beads had gone into great detail about how with her many 'openings', a wide variety of males would be able to find their relief with her. He'd been nearly giddy with the amount he planned on selling her for. "Pleasure worker! You think I'm a Pleasure Worker because I've kissed a few guys?!!" She jumped off his lap. "How dare you!"
"A female only kisses her Dasho on the lips."
"What?"
"A female...”
"I heard you. Are you telling me you've never kissed a female before? Never had sex with one?"
"I have kissed a female before," Nikhil jerked back at the thought she believed him inexperienced. "There have been several females that have sought out my friendship, and my lips have brought them great pleasure. But I have never kissed their lips, and they have never kissed mine!"
"Friendship is sex?" she asked frowning.
"I do not know this word," Nikhil told her.
"Sex. You sticking that," she pointed to the visible outline of his cock in his pants, "inside a female."
"Yes, that is friendship."
"So you have had sex with Pleasure Workers!" she accused.
"Never! I would never seek out a Pleasure Worker! I have only offered my friendship to worthy and honorable females! Ones I respect. We exchange friendship. We do not kiss on the lips!"
Mac paled at his words. "Worthy and honorable... so you and your females can fuck all you want, do whatever you want with your mouths, and as long as you don't kiss each other on the lips, you are considered worthy and honorable."
"Yes. The meeting of lips is the most intimate of acts and reserved for one's Ashe. This is readily known."
Mac took a stumbling step back. Nikhil thought she was some slut, a whore, a Pleasure Worker, all bec
ause she knew how to kiss. Because she had kissed other men on the lips.
"Mackenzie...” Nikhil frowned at her reaction to his words. "Is it not that way on your Earth?"
"No. Kissing is not the most intimate act."
"Then what is?"
"It doesn't matter. It's not going to happen." She forced herself to look at Nikhil, who was slowly rising from the couch, a determined look on his face. "You need to take me to Luol."
"We will finish discussing this first."
"No, we won't. I'm not feeling well, and I want to see Luol." She wasn't lying; the food she'd eaten didn't want to stay in her stomach. Spinning on her heel, she headed for the door.
∞ ∞ ∞ ∞ ∞
Luol looked up when he heard the door to the medical unit open, and was surprised to see Mackenzie entering, Nikhil following close behind. He knew Nikhil would be bringing her in so he could complete her treatment, but he hadn't thought it would be this early. He also hadn't expected the tension that seemed to surround them.
"Mackenzie isn't feeling well," Nikhil told him tensely getting straight to the point. He hadn't liked that she wouldn't let him carry her to Luol. Hadn't liked how she kept her distance from him, making sure they didn't touch. He especially hadn't liked other warriors looking at her as they passed.
Luol was immediately across the room. "What is wrong, Mackenzie? Are you in pain?"
"No. My stomach's just a little upset."
"I see." Luol scanned her with his palm unit. "That's to be expected with the difference and quantity of food you are now receiving. I find no signs of illness."
"Squad Leader told me you needed to complete treating me this morning." She used the title she'd heard Nikhil addressed as.
"I... yes," Luol's gaze shot to Nikhil and saw the warrior stiffen at her use of his title.
"After that it’s the educator?" she continued.
"If you are up to it." Luol returned his attention to Mackenzie.
"I will be. So where? In there again?" She pointed to the room Nikhil had carried her out of the day before.
"Yes."
"Then let's get this show on the road." She started toward the room. "The sooner this is done, the sooner I can get back to where and with who I belong."
Luol just stared at her retreating back, shocked by her words. Didn't she understand that her place was now with Nikhil? Looking to the giant warrior, he saw that Nikhil was more than shocked, he was devastated, and Luol took a step toward him. "Nikhil...”
Nikhil just shook his head, his lips clamped tightly together, and followed his Mackenzie into the next room. Inside, he found her struggling to get onto the bed of the deep-repair unit that was set at the waist height of a Kaliszian. He immediately moved to lift her onto the bed, but she spun around, and her quiet words stopped him.
"Do not touch me," she hissed, then doing a deep knee bend gripped the bed frame and jumped, finally making it on the bed. Wiggling, she made sure her covering was pulled down as far as possible and swung her legs up onto the bed.
"I assume I need to be lying down?" she asked Luol, who had entered behind Nikhil.
"For the unit to close. Yes." Luol watched as she lay down, keeping her arms at her sides, her hands fisting the material of her covering as she stared directly up at the ceiling. What could possibly have happened between these two that had her acting this way? "Are you comfortable, Ashe Mackenzie? Warm enough?" His eyes went to her bare feet. It was still early and the floors of the base had to have been cold on her feet.
"I'm fine."
"It is surprising that your feet were not damaged by your time in the mine," Luol commented absently as he began pushing buttons on the control panel.
"That's because I was wearing boots."
"Boots?" Luol gave her a puzzled look.
"Foot coverings?" she finally turned her head to look at Luol. "Like you and N... like you are wearing." She barely stopped herself from using Nikhil's name.
"I don't remember you wearing any when you were brought in. Did you remove them for some reason, Nikhil?" Although Luol turned to Nikhil for answers, it was Mac who replied.
"No. The Zaludians removed them after they discovered me."
"Why would they do that?" Luol asked.
"So they could inspect me to see if I had any hidden orifices that would make me more valuable when they sold me as a Pleasure Worker." She ignored Luol's shocked expression, and looked back to the ceiling. "Can we just get this over with?"
After a moment, the curved cover of the repair unit began to slide up from her feet until she was fully enclosed in the tube. The bed began to hum, and a fine mist appeared.
"Just breathe normally, Ashe Mackenzie," Luol instructed. "This won't take long."
"Stop calling me that! My name is Mackenzie or Mac, if you want. I'm no one’s Ashe." With that said, she closed her eyes.
Nikhil could only stare at his Mackenzie in disbelief, the pain flooding his system nearly driving him to his knees. He'd been in hundreds of battles, thousands it seemed. He'd watched warriors die, some as close to him as brothers. He had been injured himself, and yet none of that had ever caused him this much pain.
He knew his reaction to her honest answer about kissing had hurt her, especially his reference to Pleasure Workers. Was it really that different in her world? He had wanted to talk to her about it, but she refused, and when she said she wasn't feeling well... His only concern had been getting her to Luol so he could fix what was harming her.
He hadn't realized that what was harming her was him.
Somewhere between rescuing her and that amazing kiss, he had forgotten she wasn't just his Ashe, wasn't just his True Mate. She was a female who had survived a horrible experience and had no knowledge of the world she found herself in.
She wasn't Kaliszian. Yet he expected her to understand how his world functioned, to have the same traditions. Her reference to the Zaludians inspecting her for her worth as a Pleasure Worker shamed him. Did she really believe he thought of her in the same way? Was that why she refused to be his Ashe?
"Nikhil," Luol softly calling out his name in Kaliszian finally had him looking away from his Mackenzie. "What in the name of the Goddess is going on?!!"
"We...” Nikhil found he had to swallow hard to get his scratchy throat to work. "We had a misunderstanding."
"That's an understatement. I sent her with you because I believed you were the best one to care for her. That because of your connection, you would know what she needed. I see now that was a mistake."
"It wasn't! Everything was fine until...”
"You do realize talking in front of someone in a language you know they don't understand is rude. Right? Or is that a courtesy you only give to known species?"
Mac’s muffled voice coming from the still closed repair unit had both males turning to find her glaring at them.
"My apologies... Mackenzie," Luol said in Zaludian, moving away from Nikhil and back to his patient. "I am so used to other species always understanding what is being said that I forgot you did not."
"Of course, you did." She gave him a disbelieving look, then turned her gaze back to the ceiling. "How much longer?"
"A few more minutes. Are you feeling any discomfort?"
"No."
"That is good. The General will be very pleased to hear that."
"The General?" Her gaze flew to Luol. "Why would you tell the General?"
"Well, because he is the General. He will want an update on your condition."
"But you are a Doctor... Healer," she corrected.
"I am." Luol gave her a confused look.
"You don't believe in doctor-patient confidentiality?"
"What? What is that?"
"It’s when a doctor or in your case, Healer, isn't allowed to disclose anything about a person's medical condition without that person's express consent."
"It is that way on your Earth?"
"Yes, it ensures that a person can trust what they tell t
heir doctor stays just between them."
"I see. I'm sorry, Mackenzie, but that is not the way it is here."
"So anything I tell you, you will report directly to the General."
"Yes," Luol admitted.
"And you do too?” She turned her gaze to Nikhil and saw the truth in his glowing eyes. He did. The General would know she had allowed him to cleanse her. He would know that as far as the Kaliszians were concerned she was a Pleasure Worker. What would happen to her now? What would happen to all of them?
Nikhil wasn't prepared for the look of utter betrayal that filled Mackenzie's eyes before she turned her gaze back to the ceiling. It made him feel as if he had let her down when all he had been doing was his duty. But wasn't his duty to her now? His True Mate? Never in his life had he been so conflicted.
Mac silently stared at the ceiling for several minutes listening to the repair unit hum. She didn't know why she hadn't realized Nikhil would tell his General everything. She had trusted him for some reason, had believed him and his True Mate crap. She should have known better. She had a lousy track record with men; it's why she spent so much time on the mountain.
The first time she ever kissed a boy on the lips had been Derek Emery, her senior year in high school. She'd had a crush on him for years and would secretly watch him as he worked at his dad's shop. One day, to her amazement, he asked her out. They'd gone to a movie and he'd put his arm around her. When he took her home, he kissed her goodnight. She'd floated into her grandpa's house thrilled out of her mind. It wasn't until the next day that she found out it had all been a joke. Derek and some of his friends were posting their dates to their social media accounts reporting everything that had been done and said, then ranking and grading the girl. She'd been ranked a three because she wouldn't let him do more with his hands. She'd been humiliated.
The second time had been in college. Chase had been a nice guy and a great kisser. They'd shared the same interests and had a lot of fun together, and he never pressured her for anything more than she was willing to give. She'd gone home for a long weekend to help her grandpa guide a hunting group and realized she was ready to take her and Chase's relationship to the next level. When she got back to school, she found him waiting at her apartment. It seems while she'd been off helping her grandpa, he'd met someone, a 'really, really, special someone' named Tina and he wanted her to find out from him. To say she'd been shocked was an understatement, but what really hurt was how he kept going on and on about how beautiful Tina was. About Tina's long, blonde hair and how tall and thin she was. That Tina was perfect; a total 10. That any guy would be proud to have someone like Tina on his arm. He was sorry and hoped they could still be friends, but he had to go, Tina was waiting in the car for him.