It’s been a long time since I’ve had unprotected sex. There’s a thrill to it, a secret aura of desire and possession mixed together. The knowledge that I could get her pregnant.
Sure, she indicated she’s on the Pill, but that doesn’t always work. What if my sperm has the power to transform this one night into many more…
Shut up, Ramsey, I chide myself. Stop being ridiculous and just enjoy this moment. Don’t let yourself get crazy.
I know it’s just a primal urge to impregnate, to conquer. But it still feels good on a physical and emotional level. To empty myself into her, and to know that my seed is spilling inside her.
I pump my cock deep within her while shooting my cum into her warm and welcoming pussy. She moans into the pillow while I grunt, doing my best to keep quiet.
That’s it, Ramsey. Just fuck the girl. Get the job done. That’s what you’re good at.
I’m proud of myself for holding back my twisted fantasies while letting go of my load. I feel it throughout my entire body: a release I needed so desperately I didn’t even know it. I feel lighter, yet fuller at the same time.
I sink into the pillow, caressing her head with one hand, my other hand wrapped possessively around her waist, as if someone might try to climb into my window and steal her while I’m sleeping.
She’s still mine, for the rest of the night.
“Good night, Ramsey,” she says, in a barely audible, calming whisper.
“Good night, again, Monica.”
And what a good night it is.
I just made love to a beautiful, mysterious woman. I claimed her, and she let me take her. I know I’m about to sink into a peaceful sleep. And I have a feeling I won’t be having any more night terrors tonight.
Chapter 9 – Monica
I wake up very early, before the sun has come up, like I always do. Growing up, my brothers and I’d had chores to do. If they beat me to them, then I’d have to do theirs. Everything had been a competition. And I liked to win. I still do.
After so many years, habits become ingrained in a person, part of them. The early bird gets the hottest shower, the worm, and a lot of other things in life. Good things come to those who go after them.
These were mottos that my parents repeated in my house, growing up, and it comforts me to follow them even now, long after part of my family— my brother— is gone. I know that he’s with me in spirit, proud of my work ethic and my punctuality. And my dad is basically gone too— rendered bed-bound and senile after his stroke— but I know that he’s with me in spirit and proud of me too.
As I turn my head to look at a still-sleeping Ramsey, I think, Sure, my brother and father would be proud of me, but not for my random one night stand.
Oh well, I figure. Everyone’s entitled to a private life. No one is ever going to find out about Ramsey and me. We’ve both sworn to keep it secret, just like we’ve both acknowledged that it’s only for this one night.
I peer at Ramsey. He didn’t have any repeat night terror episodes after we went back to sleep, and it looks like he’s sleeping contentedly.
Our Just One Night is over. I knew it had to end. Last night was like a dream come true but everyone wakes up from their dreams. Time to face reality, and the training ground full of men ready to tease and taunt me due to my gender.
I sit up, ready to take that shower and get ready for the grueling day of training that lays ahead. Time to wash off the night we had, that must remain in our past now.
The only reason our tryst may have been a mistake is because it kept us up so late when we have to train so early. But I don’t regret it.
I step out of bed, but Ramsey, still mostly asleep, grabs my arm and holds onto me.
“Don’t go,” he mumbles.
I can tell that his intention is to pull me back in bed beside him, but his arm flops back down onto my lap, too tired to carry out his plan.
Well, I think, I might as well extend our Just One Night by just a little bit.
Last night had already turned into today by the time we made love, I reason. And I owe him one.
I climb on top of him and feel that he is already hard. His cock is long, thick, and by far the largest I’ve ever had, although I haven’t had even average experience, I wouldn’t guess. It was so big that it scared me at first, although it seemed to fit inside me perfectly.
I take his cock in my hand and put its tip in my mouth. I lick around the head, and then suck on it gently, moving my hand up and down his shaft.
“Mmmm.”
Ramsey stirs, raising his head a bit and looking down at me with half- closed, still-tired eyes.
“Am I dreaming?”
“Yes,” I say. “And hopefully it’s a very good dream.”
I take him further into my mouth, and he fills it up completely before it’s even all the way inside. I have to shove it further in, trying not to gag.
“It’s a great dream,” he mumbles, his hand on the top of my head. “I don’t want it to stop.”
I push his cock all the way into the back of my mouth, then back out again. In and out, in and out, just like he put it in and out of my pussy last night. I reach up to play with his balls while I lick his shaft up and down, then I return to nearly gagging on his big cock deep in my mouth, while my tongue licks its very tip.
“Oh my god, Monica, that feels so good,” he says. “I’m going to—”
But I don’t need the warning, because his cock is already throbbing in my mouth.
“Shhhhh,” I say, but it comes out more like a hum or a mumble, since he’s so far deep inside my mouth. I squeeze the back portion of his cock while he comes into my mouth, and I lick up his seed. Despite having already come just a few hours ago, he seems to have plenty left, and it shoots into my mouth so fast that I can barely contain it.
“Ohhhhh wow,” he moans, laying his head back down onto his pillow. “That was amazing.”
“Good morning,” I say, but I can tell that he’s still very tired.
He mumbles a “thank you” and I kiss him on the forehead before throwing on my uniform— hopefully I’ll have time to grab another one from my hotel room or else I’ll have to wear this same one again, without washing it— and tiptoeing out of his room. As I look back, he’s sleeping contentedly, with a small smile on his face.
Just One Night— turned into Just One Night and One Morning— has been a successful mission indeed.
Chapter 10 – Ramsey
I wake with a start, and jump up to check my watch.
I sigh with relief, glad that I’m not going to be late. But it’s still a pain to have to wake up so early, and I wish I could stay asleep longer.
Then I remember that the last two times I woke up, Monica was in my bed, and she certainly turned having to wake up under bad circumstances into a very good thing. I wonder where she is.
I know she wouldn’t have let me sleep in. But I didn’t expect her to get up before me. I hope that she isn’t bothered by my mom’s presence in the house.
I hurriedly throw on some boxers and head out to the main part of the house. To my surprise, Monica and my mom are chatting at the kitchen table. They have eggs, bacon and toast in front of them.
“Good morning, Ramsey,” Monica says, with a sweet smile spreading across her face. Her hair is wet, so she must have showered. “Would you like some breakfast?”
“Um. Sure.”
I shrug.
I’m not used to eating breakfast at home. Mom doesn’t cook, and I rarely do either.
“You didn’t have many groceries, so I ran across the street to the mini mart,” Monica says.
Crazy, I think. What time did she get up?
Then I realize that my first question wasn’t “What is she still doing here?” and I have to make sure I don’t laugh out loud. I don’t usually like girls to stay over, so having groceries to accommodate their breakfast cooking isn’t high on my priority list.
But with Monica, I seem to be breaking all my rul
es. We had a real conversation; we cuddled; we even listened to Bowie together; and now she’s taken over my kitchen. But I love it. I don’t know who the hell I’ve become, and I don’t even care.
“Impressive,” I say, as she lifts food from the skillet and sets it down in front of me. “Thank you.”
She winks at me. The sexy twinkle in her eye reminds me of how she looked this morning, with my cock in her mouth. I wish I could stay there— or inside her— all day long.
A blowjob and breakfast? I think. I’m a lucky guy.
I almost wish I could tell Jensen and Harlow about this. But it’ll have to remain our little secret.
“I like your new girlfriend, Ramsey,” Mom says, as she sips on her coffee.
“She’s not my girlfriend, Mom.”
Great. What if Mom says something to my brothers? I guess they would just think it was any random hook-up, and they probably won’t think anything of it, even though I don’t usually bring girls over here. My random hook-ups usually live in Albuquerque and we go to their place, unless I’m training out of town.
Monica is just any random hook-up, I remind myself. I don’t know why I keep forgetting. In fact, she’s the best kind of random hook-up: one who not only is okay with not seeing me again, but who can’t, since she lives so far away and I’m being deployed.
It’s almost too good to be true. I should be relishing in the fact instead of forgetting about it or even being disappointed about it.
“Monica told me you boys went to Louie’s last night,” Mom said. “And I was just telling her about my favorite bar, which isn’t around anymore. The Silver Fox. Remember, Ramsey? Your dad and I used to go there all the time.”
I shovel some food into my mouth, purposefully trying not to listen to or acknowledge what my mom is saying. My mom likes to re-write history. My dad never went out drinking with her.
He was a family man, a very busy, hard-working man. She was the one who liked to abandon her responsibilities and party all the time, with men who were definitely not my father.
I remember a time during my youth when we were all supposed to go camping. Mom never came home that day, although we waited and waited for her to show up.
Finally, at about six o’clock, I said, “Well, we’d better get a move on it, if we’re going to be able to pitch the tent before sundown.”
My dad had looked confused, as if he didn’t know whether he should keep waiting on Mom to magically arrive and come with us. That’s pretty much how he had looked for most of their time together that I can remember. I had to be the one to take charge and say we had to leave now or never.
To be honest, I hadn’t even wanted to go on the stupid camping trip. I knew it would be rather miserable, with Dad worried about where Mom was and with Harlow and Jensen angry at her for not showing up and angry at Dad for caring so much.
But I had my younger brothers to think of, and I knew better than to wait around on Mom rather than getting a move on in my own life. That’s something my dad never seemed to be able to learn. And it’s why I avoid relationships or any kind of commitment that could leave me hanging on and waiting like a puppy dog for an owner who was never going to come home or never going to stick around.
Now, I glance at Monica, who is wincing at me in an apologetic way, but I know it’s not her fault that she got trapped into listening to my mom’s yapping. My mom will say anything to make herself sound better. And at this point I’m starting to think she really believes some of her lies, because she’s starting to sound pretty senile.
“It sounds like it was a fun place,” says Monica, obviously to fill up the silence that ensued after my mom’s little rant.
“It is,” Mom says. “And it’s been so long since I was there. Maybe Ramsey will go there with me before he leaves.”
“Mom, you just said yourself, it’s closed. That bar hasn’t been there for a long time.”
A look of confusion crosses her face, but it’s soon replaced by her normal, stubborn features.
“I know that, Ramsey. I meant we’ll go to the new bar, that the Silver Fox turned into. That’s what I meant.”
“There’s no bar there, mom. It turned into a liquor store and then the whole building was knocked down and they put up a Starbucks. You know this.”
She shrugs.
“Well, just take me somewhere. That’s all your old Ma wants.”
“Mom, you know I’m not taking you out drinking. You can’t be drinking, period.”
Her bottom lip juts out, as if she’s going to cry. I don’t have time for these antics. We’ll be late if we don’t leave in fifteen minutes.
“We’ll talk about it later, Mom,” I tell her. “Now’s not the time.”
I scarf down the rest of my eggs, telling Monica, “This is delicious!”
I remind myself to talk to Mom later about the no-drinking-while-she’s-living-with-me rules. And to call back some of the assisted living places I’ve looked into, so that I can get one lined up for her before I’m deployed. I know she doesn’t want to go, but such is life, when you’ve sufficiently pissed off all your kids except for the older one, and also when you’re probably a bit too much for even him to handle.
I think I’m just used to a lifetime of taking care of her as well as everyone else. The camping trip wasn’t the only time Mom let us down, of course.
There were so many times she didn’t show up when she was supposed to, and I had to take her place as best as I could. At Harlow’s wrestling matches. Jensen’s little league games. Helping them get ready for Prom. Taking care of people is just what I do, what I’m used to— but I’m kind of at the end of my rope when it comes to Mom.
I head for the shower, telling Monica I’ll be out in five.
“Sure,” she says, and begins gathering up the dirty dishes.
I shoot her an apologetic look, and gesture at my mom as if to say, “Sorry for leaving you with her.”
But she just smiles at me, and winks, like, I got this.
She sure does. She’s got a lot of things. I’m a bit sorry that I only get to see her in action for such a short amount of time. But then I wonder what’s gotten into me. I’m Ramsey Bradford, and I don’t fall for the women I sleep with.
So what the hell am I doing now?
Chapter 11 – Monica
“That was a really great Just One Night,” Ramsey says, as we’re in his Jeep again, heading back towards Louie’s so that I can get my car.
“I was thinking of that earlier,” I tell him. “Our new song title, I mean.” I wouldn’t want to sound like I was thinking of him, of us. “We have to change it to Just One Night, and Just One Morning.”
“Did we break our pact?” He grimaces.
“I don’t think so,” I say. “We just found a loophole.”
He grins. I look out at the beautiful, scenic mountains, lit up by the morning sunrise.
I will remember this trip for a long time. This time with Ramsey. Sure, some of it was crazy— his night terror, his… eccentric… mother. But I’ve been able to relax and have fun more than I have in a long time. And I certainly can’t complain about the sex, either.
“Think we have enough time for me to stop by my hotel and change this uniform?” I ask Ramsey.
My sense of distance is usually pretty good, but since I’ve only been in Albuquerque for less than 24 hours, I’m still not sure how long it takes to get where.
“You should,” Ramsey says. “And that’ll be good, too, because then we won’t arrive at training at the same time.”
“Ha!” I laugh. “That’d really give them all something to talk about, other than my pink, sparkly plane.”
“How do you deal with all those comments?” Ramsey asks. “It must get difficult.”
I shrug.
“It’s to be expected,” I finally say. “And it just makes me tougher. No one should be in the Air Force if they can’t be tough. No matter their gender.”
Ramsey nods, as if seriously con
sidering what I’ve said. I’m glad for that. One reason I don’t usually date military guys is that they don’t really understand either the similarities between us or the differences. But it seems that Ramsey understands both, or at least that he’s trying to.
He reaches over and touches my knee. A spark of electricity runs down my body to meet his hand, and I guess I shouldn’t be surprised to find out how well my body still responds to his touch, even though my mind knows that our time together has come to an end.
“We never got around to talking about what kind of music you like,” he says, which seems to be a complete change of subject, but really isn’t. “We have a few minutes for you to play Jeep DJ.”
I sense it’s his way of saying, we still have a few more minutes left in our Just For One Night and One Morning. Let’s make the best of it. But maybe that’s just what I hope he’s thinking.
“Jeep DJ, huh?” I say, laughing, in an attempt to keep the mood light.
“It’s a very coveted position,” he says. “Rarely bestowed on anyone but me.”
“Oh, you know,” I tell him, “I’m a child of the 80’s. A teenager of the 90’s. I love me some Guns N’ Roses, some Third Eye Blind.”
He nods, and smiles, in apparent approval. He turns on Guns N’ Roses’ “Patience,” which I notice he already had in his Spotify starred playlist.
“Good choice,” I tell him.
“I thought it’d be fitting.”
I smile, but I don’t say anything. I can’t take his comment as anything else but an admission that he will miss me. It’s amazing how music can be used to say what we can’t, or are afraid to.
“You know they say that the music you grow up with, as an adolescent, will always be the music you think of as the best,” he says.
“So that’s why my dad was always playing his hippie music. The 5th Dimension, and Bob Dylan. And whining about how ‘kids these days don’t know what good music is.’”
“Exactly,” Ramsey says. “And why we don’t get Miley Cyrus or Justin Bieber.”
Hold Onto Me_A Secret Baby Romance Page 53