“Oh, yes. You’re a dear for asking after them. Sharon is now Lady Burke, married ten years to the viscount. Sadie is now Mrs. Hamilton. I have six grandchildren between them. My, how time passes!” She chortled.
They took a moment to sample the currant cakes before Mrs. Putnam continued.
“We all thought you had died, I’ll have you know.”
“We?” Lilith asked.
“The neighbors. We paid a dozen visits to console the widower and bring treats to his two children after her ladyship passed, but he withdrew from Society. When there were no signs of you, we thought you must have died alongside your mother. There were rumors….” Her words drifted off. “But look at me doing all the talking, when I’ve come to find out about you! I’m the messenger, you see. Everyone is curious. They all hope you will make calls soon, but since you’ve not done so, here I am. Through snow and cold, I’ve made it to you. Tell me everything!”
When Mrs. Putnam stopped for breath, Lilith said, “There’s not much to tell, I’m afraid. My father sent me to an orphanage where I’ve lived these past years. Had my brother not come for me, I would never have known my parentage.”
With a hand to her bosom, Mrs. Putnam said, “How romantic! The lost daughter returns home. But naturally, he would have sent you away. You would have been a daily reminder of his late wife. You have your mother’s eyes, you know.”
The lady paused to enjoy a cake but talked between bites.
Lilith listened, in no rush to do the talking. The fewer questions to answer, the better; although, Mrs. Putnam seemed to make her own excuses and explanations for Lilith’s departure and return. How differently she acted from those in Allshire. She glossed over the word orphanage as though Lilith had been visiting an aunt instead. A sudden memory struck her of the first time she met Hazel. Had Hazel not been the same? More curious than judgmental?
After all Lilith’s misgivings, there appeared a light at the end of her tunnel.
Mrs. Putnam prattled on. “Though it’s not for many months, and I’ve not yet arranged the details or sent invitations, you simply must attend my annual soirée this Season. You’ll be quite the sensation.”
Lilith looked at her in alarm. “I’ve not decided on going to London. Thank you for inviting me, though.”
“Fiddlesticks. You must go. There’s no question. Everyone will be looking for you. It’s not every day, after all, ladies resurrect from the dead. I hope you have a sense of humor because I have quite the tale of murder and mayhem to share with you.”
Mrs. Putnam carried on for exactly half an hour, sharing with Lilith the many theories neighbors had to explain her disappearance, the darkest rumor being she and her mother had been murdered and buried in the topiary garden. However much the woman laughed, Lilith suspected no one had laughed at the time.
The visit ended well, better than well, in fact, with Lilith promising to call on her and the other neighbors soon. Had this been what she feared for the better part of a year? Had this been the unknown she sacrificed love, happiness, and belonging to avoid? If she had known taking up the mantle of Lady Lilith would be this smooth…well, she would think about that later.
After seeing the guest out, Mr. Sims turned to Lilith with raised brows. She nodded and swept past him, not missing the twitch of a smile on his lips.
Chapter 28
Early spring arrived. Lilith thought more of Walter each passing day. Did he think of her?
It was inevitable she would see him again since she had agreed to accompany Lizbeth and Sebastian to London. With a concentrated effort, she could avoid him. If he were courting someone else, betrothed, or even married, she would have to find a way to avoid him. However strong she was in mind and spirit, she could not handle seeing him on the arm of another woman.
It was her fault. She had told him to let her go. She had encouraged him to find someone else. As many times as she wanted to write to him, she could not bring herself to do it, for how humiliating if she wrote him only to find him elsewhere engaged.
The alternative was no less intimidating. What if she arrived in London to find him still available? He might not want her. She had behaved badly the last time they were together, abominably. Worse, she had hurt him unforgivably.
And if he did want her?
She had made the leap of leaving the only home she had known for two decades, a home she had made for herself, to build a new life that would be devoted to helping destitute women. Was this step enough to prepare her for life as a baroness? However well she was training herself for a life as a lady, it did not follow she was ready to interact to the extent he would expect.
And yet, she yearned for him.
She did not dare admit to herself any part of her training was done in hopes of reuniting with him. If she did not admit it, it would not hurt as much if he rejected her.
Slipping her arm through Lizbeth’s, the two ladies walked to the picnic area where Sebastian, Freya, Freya’s nurse Mrs. Adams, and Jasper were playing. The sun was bright and the breeze cool, a perfect day for al fresco lounging.
“I’ve not thanked you, Lizbeth, for coming to Roddam Hall to fetch me,” Lilith said, delivering her into Sebastian’s capable hands.
“I believe the thanks are owed to you for inviting us for a week before the trek to Lyonn Manor. The caravan to London will be enormous fun with us all together. Even Charlotte looks forward to getting to know you, though I suspect she’ll spend more time entertaining us with stories of Austria.”
Jasper and Freya were newly minted friends, Lilith noticed. Jasper licked Freya into a fit of giggles.
It was difficult to believe the baby was already seven months. Lilith had not seen her since early August. When Freya attempted to stand and reach for her auntie, Lilith had been shocked. Not long, and she would be wobble-walking. How had the baby grown so quickly? But of course, seven months was hardly quick.
The excitement of the picnic had been Freya’s attempt to join the conversation with an obsessive repeat of “dada” to which Sebastian announced was proof she preferred her papa over her mama. Lizbeth had thrown bread at him until he retracted his words. They had all laughed so heartily, Jasper took to baying.
Mrs. Adams, the nurse, was immensely likable, Lilith discovered. A slim and soft-spoken woman in her mid-forties, she spoke to Freya as though the baby were a tiny adult. The nurse encouraged play as much as structure, something Lilith had done, as well, during her time as a teacher.
Sebastian wrestled Jasper, who was looking more like a horse than a puppy. “You were wise to accept the invitation, Lil’. I would have hated to tie you in the luggage carriage for the entire journey. Don’t doubt I wouldn’t have done it. I need you by my side, as does Lizbeth.”
Lilith grinned at Liz who rubbed her belly, rounded with their second child. That had been another shock. Lizbeth arrived with no need to announce she was increasing. It had been all too visible. The joke of Liz having Catholic twins—two babies born within a year of each other—had not yet worn thin.
Sebastian and Lizbeth were to stay at the hall for a week before heading to Lyonn Manor where they would stay another week before leaving for London. Lilith’s cousin, the Duke of Annick, had expressed some enthusiasm that she would be joining them and taking her place as Lady Lilith.
While she had not yet sorted her approach, she would need to confront her Aunt Catherine while at Lyonn Manor. As the Dowager Duchess of Annick, Catherine lived in the dower house. There would be no avoiding the confrontation. It must be done. And it must be done before they set off for London. The lady had the power to undermine all Lilith’s plans.
“I’m afraid,” Lilith said, “I will spend more time meeting with employment agencies and those with known philanthropic interests than attending entertainments. I realize it is a necessity to be introduced before I can call on those who might be interested in my end
eavors, but I do have a goal, and that does not include prancing about ballrooms.”
Sebastian laughed. “And you think we enjoy ‘prancing,’ as you say? Lizbeth will remain at the townhouse this Season, given her condition, and I’ll escort you to the necessary engagements. You need not worry I’ll drag you to every party in town.”
“We shall get along well then,” Lilith joked.
Lilith regaled them with stories of her near blunders when calling on neighbors, as well as the unusualness of everyone being overly kind to her. This had not been her expectation after the chilly reception in Allshire.
“They’re only kind to me, I believe, because they recall me as a child,” said Lilith. “They would not be so welcoming if I arrived out of the blue, the mystery daughter, or if they knew the truth.”
“No, they would not,” Sebastian agreed. “It would not stop me from claiming you as my legitimate sister, though. You will always be my sister. I don’t give a snap who birthed you.”
“Will they be this welcoming in London?” she asked.
Sebastian scratched his chin and thought before answering. “I can’t say. Some will. Some won’t. Society is made up of high sticklers and gossipmongers, so it’s difficult to say the reception we can expect. Those you’ve met here will help smooth the way. They’ll want to introduce you to those they know.”
She hoped so. However much her intention was to set in motion a plan for helping others, she did selfishly want to see to her own future. She would not hide in the north afraid of gossip or scandal. She was done hiding. They might judge her for her time at the orphanage, question why her father sent her away, hear rumors of her behavior in Allshire, even discourage her dream for the women’s home. Through it all, she would hold her chin high. She would earn respect, just as she had done once before.
Lilith confessed her enjoyment of playing lady of the manor. Never had she thought she would enjoy lording over people, but it was not quite like that. She enjoyed working with the housekeeper to learn the ins and outs of a large house, conspiring with the head gardener, and exchanging ideas with the steward. The feeling she experienced during her first visit, that feeling of being home, had not waned. She was good at being the lady of the manor. She genuinely enjoyed it.
“Are you happy here, Lil’?” Sebastian asked, pulling a squealing Freya into his lap. A happier baby Lilith had never seen.
“I do love it. I’ve seen a different side than the home from my memories. My being here feels right, almost natural, as though I was always supposed to be lady of the manor. For so long, I’ve sewn my own clothes, cooked my own food, laundered and cleaned on my own…oh the list does go on. I thought I would find myself idle. Indeed not. And it is nothing short of amazing not to have to do those chores.”
Jasper rested his head in Lizbeth’s lap, a new friend from which to solicit belly and head rubs.
Liz scratched behind his ears. “Will you stay, do you think?”
It was a question Lilith had asked herself over the past few weeks.
“I don’t know, to be honest. I want to stay, but for my plan to work, I believe I need to be closer to London. I don’t think Roddam Hall is a convenient location for my future guests. I would prefer, as well, not to combine my vision with my living quarters. A separation of work and life, as it were.”
After raising Freya into the air for a mock toss half a dozen times, Sebastian said, “You’re welcome to any of my estates. Unfortunately, the closest estate to London is in Yorkshire. That hardly helps you.”
“Does it have to be near London?” Lizbeth asked.
“No.” Lilith reached for the forgotten sandwiches, feeling peckish after the walk about the garden. “The benefit of London is ease of travel and proximity to employment agencies. How will the women reach me if I’m in the wilds of Northumberland? They may spend their remaining pocket money to reach London only to find safety is across the country, out of reach.”
Sebastian looked at her suspiciously. “Are you ever going to tell us what you’re planning? You’ve been cloak-and-dagger about it.”
“Not my intention. I assumed you could read my mind.” Lilith laughed. “I want to open a women’s home. I shall call it Noach Cottage after Noah’s ark. It will be a place of refuge. Women who find themselves in need of a new life will be welcome, no matter the situation. If they have nowhere to turn, they can come to Noach.”
“A noble vision, Lilith,” said Lizbeth. “Will they all live there under your care? Wouldn’t it be overcrowded?”
“The housing is meant to be temporary. The grand vision is rather complex. It will take help from others to see it through. I want to help women relocate with a new identity should they need it, such as what I’m trying to do with Harriette. I also want to help women without characters find work, hence my interest in recruiting the aid of employment agencies who are willing to work with me. Whatever the needs of the women, I want to provide a safe haven to see them through dark times. There will be an interview process before they’re admitted to ensure their need is genuine and what I have to offer is what they need.”
“Sorry, Freya,” Sebastian said to the top of the baby’s head. “Your auntie is going to drain me of all my wealth so that you have nothing to inherit.”
“Sebastian!” Lizbeth and Lilith exclaimed in unison.
He smiled devilishly.
“I’ll have you know,” Lilith said in her best schoolmarm scold, “It will be self-sustainable. All I need are the startup funds, and from there, the women will earn their keep.”
“I jest. You’re welcome to however much you need,” Sebastian said, still grinning.
“Yes, well, I don’t wish for much. With luck and determination, I can connect with interested parties who will not only wish to patron Noach Cottage, but also help the women, such as setting them up as a widow in their parish, hiring them as a maid, and so forth. While in residence, the women will learn the necessary skills for survival and work, skills that will help also sustain the cottage. They can learn to garden, to eat what they grow and sell the excess for profit. I needn’t pay for a schoolmistress or assistants because the able women can learn that trade while teaching any children present. They can learn to sew and sell their handiwork. They can learn to bake and sell the food. I refuse to create something dependent on your funds, ‘Bastian. The cottage will run itself.”
Sebastian whistled. “Impressive. And you came up with this from a single conversation with Mrs. Wimple?”
“Hardly. I had the initial idea when Harriette came to me, but I’ve been building on it ever since. I’ve had several months to mull it over with quill to parchment, including the financial estimates.”
“What of Harriette?” Lizbeth asked, rubbing Jasper’s belly. His tail thumped in doggy ecstasy.
“While we wait for news from her headmistress application, she’s been helping me with the grand plan.”
“A headmistress?” Lizbeth echoed. “But she’s never taught, has she?”
Lilith knew she was blushing. She could feel her neck and cheek warming. “It was a conveniently timed advertisement,” was all she confessed.
“Nearby?” Liz probed.
Lilith cleared her throat and took slow bites of her sandwich.
“Near Devon.”
“Oh!” Liz covered a hand over her mouth, realization dawning. “Oh, I see. The orphanage?” she pressed hesitantly.
Lilith nodded. “It would seem a certain someone has followed through with his orphanage.”
“Yes. It would seem so.” Liz looked to Sebastian with a knowing glance.
“Speaking of Collingwood,” Sebastian said without the least bit of tact, “What does he think of Noach Cottage?”
Lizbeth cast him another speaking look. It was lost on him. He looked back and forth between the ladies, his brows raised expectantly.
L
izbeth answered first. “He wouldn’t know about it, would he?”
“Why the devil not? Didn’t you write to tell him?” Sebastian stared at Lilith, his brows furrowing.
Lizbeth again spoke on her behalf. “Darling, not all in the world are as ungenteel as we to write to the opposite gender. She has no reason to write to him.”
“You wrote to me well before our engagement. I see nothing ungenteel about it,” he protested.
With a sigh of exasperation, Liz turned to Lilith. “You must excuse him. He has no manners.”
Lilith stuttered a laugh.
“Very well, then,” she finally said. “I confess, I hurt him. Possibly beyond repair. He may never want to see me again, if you must know. He could already be betrothed to someone else. If he is willing to see me again, I hardly know if there’s a future between us. There’s only one thing to do.”
They both waited with wide-eyed curiosity.
“I’m going to have to woo him.”
“What’s this?” Lilith asked her brother.
Aside from Jasper who was curled at Lilith’s feet, his head warming the top of one foot, the siblings were alone in the parlor. Lizbeth wanted to read to Freya in the nursery before Mrs. Adams tucked her into bed.
“Proof you’re Jane’s daughter,” he said.
“We both know that’s not true. So, what is this?” she repeated.
Sebastian waved the paper in the air. “Proof you can accept Walter’s suit without guilt of illegitimacy.”
“Sebastian. Give me the paper. Now. And I did not reject Walter because of that.”
An expression of surprise arrested his features. He let the paper fall to his lap, out of her reach.
“Then why the devil did you reject him?”
“It’s not your concern, is it?” she replied primly.
He glowered.
Silence stretched.
She huffed. “I did worry how scandal would affect him should Aunt Catherine speak out against me or should the Reverend Sands spread word out of spite. I did worry. But I rejected him because I wasn’t courageous enough to face the unknown. Among the many things I feared, criticism was at the top. I experienced censure from the aristocrats in Allshire and knew it would be worse in London and beyond. One taste was quite enough, thank you.”
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