by Jason Segel
Charlie had expected her to say exactly that. “You can’t cancel your trip, Charlotte,” he said firmly.
“I have to!” Charlotte almost barked in frustration. Then she cast an anxious eye at the kitchen door and lowered her voice. “There are Nightmares sitting at my breakfast table, someone’s smuggling harmful substances into the Waking World—and now my husband is talking about trying a tonic that would turn him into one of those Walkers. Now is not a good time to go to New York, Charlie.”
Charlie stared at his stepmother without saying a word.
“What?” Charlotte demanded.
Charlie took another few seconds to consider his answer. He was about to confess to a serious crime. Charlotte did not approve of snooping. “I read the letters, the ones you have hidden in your desk drawer upstairs.”
“That’s impossible,” Charlotte replied. “I always keep that drawer locked.”
Charlie reached into his back pocket and fished out a bobby pin. Charlotte’s hair shed dozens of them every day. They could be found all over the house—wedged between floorboards, tucked under sofa cushions, even trapped in the bathtub drain. “I found a Martha Stewart lock-picking tutorial on the Internet,” Charlie told her. “I opened your drawer with one of these.”
Charlotte’s hands were suddenly on her hips. “You went through my personal files?” she demanded.
“We’re a family now! They’re my personal files too!” Charlie cried. He was surprised to realize how angry he was getting. “Hazel’s Herbarium is losing money every month, and the bank is threatening to take the mansion! How is that even possible? I thought it was built by your great-great-grandfather!”
“I had to mortgage the mansion to open the shop—” Charlotte began.
“Why didn’t you tell me?” Charlie demanded.
Charlotte’s head dropped, and she rubbed at her eyes wearily. “You’re just a kid, Charlie. I didn’t want to worry you.”
Of all the people in the world, Charlotte was the last one Charlie would have expected to use that tired old excuse. “Yeah, you’re right. I’m just a kid,” he said. “I’m a kid who’s supposed to be protecting the portal upstairs. And if our family loses the mansion, I won’t be able to do that. So you have to go to New York, Charlotte. And you have to convince someone to buy your book. We need the money. There’s no other way.”
“But the situation here is getting really bad—” Charlotte started.
“It doesn’t matter how bad things look right now,” Charlie butted in. “We both know they could get a million times worse if the portal isn’t protected.”
“I can’t leave you alone to deal with this.” Charlotte sounded like she was on the verge of tears.
“I’m not alone!” Charlie argued. “I’ve got Dabney and Bruce and all of my friends.”
“And Jack,” Charlotte added. She said it as if Jack were the one who’d make all the difference.
Charlie stayed silent.
“And Jack,” his stepmother added once more, wiping a stray tear away. “You’ve seen what he can do, Charlie. You’re going to need his help.”
“Yeah,” Charlie grumbled. “And I’ve got Jack too.”
—
Charlie and Paige spotted four on their way to pick up Alfie. And they counted twelve on Main Street alone. The ads were everywhere.
Spend your nights without nightmares!
Get more out of life when you sleep like the dead!
The only sure way to cure snoring!
Four doors down from Hazel’s Herbarium, workers were renovating a shoppe that had once sold candies and scented candles. The walls of the store had already been repainted a blissful blue. It was the same color paint that Winston Lindsay had purchased at the Cypress Creek hardware store. And there he was, the original Walker, hanging puffy white cotton clouds in the front windows, behind an enormous sign that read OPENING SOON!
“I walked by this place yesterday, and it was a mess. Somehow the Orville Falls Walkers managed to fix it up in a single night,” Paige said. She sounded impressed.
“Well, now we know why Winston Lindsay was buying all that paint,” Alfie remarked as a construction worker stumbled by, carrying an intimidating piece of machinery. “How are they doing this stuff without hurting themselves?” he whispered. “Look, that guy’s about to use a nail gun, and he’s barely able to walk straight.”
A loud pop came from the nail gun, and a long piece of metal was suddenly sticking out of the Walker’s work boot. He didn’t seem to realize he’d just shot himself in the foot.
“There’s your answer,” Paige said. “They do get hurt.”
“Oh, man.” Alfie winced. “I really hope that nail went between his toes.”
Charlie was about to point out a man with a chain saw, when someone tapped him on the shoulder. He spun around to find a pretty woman wearing a pale blue dress and an enormous blond wig. Her large, unblinking eyes were ringed with blue eye liner that perfectly matched her dress. The woman’s wide red smile reminded Charlie of a comic book villain, but she looked and smelled far better than her fellow Walkers. Swinging from the woman’s arm was a basket filled with blue brochures. She held one out to Charlie, smiling and nodding robotically until he took it. As soon as he did, she shuffled away. On the front of the pamphlet was a photo of a child sitting at a classroom desk, his hand held high. Posted on the bulletin board at the front of the room was a sinister message.
Give your children the advantage of a good night’s sleep!
Give them Tranquility Tonic and say goodbye to:
Bad Behavior
Moaning and Groaning
Back Talking
Free Thinking
Nose Picking
“Wow,” Charlie heard Paige say. His friends had been peeking over his shoulder as he’d read. “What kind of person would give this stuff to a kid?”
“Hey, Charlie!” Someone was calling out to him.
Charlie looked up to see Ollie Tobias on the opposite side of the street, waving a perfectly rash-free arm. His mother was nearby, chatting with one of her croquet-playing friends. The instant she spied Charlie, she snatched her son’s hand and dragged him away. Tucked into Mrs. Tobias’s handbag was a brochure for Tranquility Tonic. Paige’s question had been answered.
“Oh no,” Charlie muttered.
“Don’t drink the tonic, Ollie!” someone shouted. Charlie didn’t need to see the boy’s face. He knew the voice all too well.
“Hey, Jack,” said Paige.
Charlie turned to see his brother coming toward them.
“Where’s your Captain America costume?” Alfie asked the small boy as he approached. “You know, Cypress Creek could really use a superhero right now.”
“I’m going incognito today,” Jack informed him. “Nobody ever expects a nine-year-old to save the world. The element of surprise is on my side.”
Charlie rolled his eyes. “What are you doing here, Jack?” he asked. Charlie’s patience was wearing thin, and tolerating his brother was getting harder and harder. “You know you’re not allowed to wander around town by yourself.”
“I’m not wandering and I’m not by myself,” Jack replied defiantly. “Dabney and Bruce are with me. And Charlotte’s mad that you snuck out of the house with Paige and left the rest of us behind.”
Technically, Charlie had only promised to keep Jack involved after Charlotte left for New York. And slipping out without the two Nightmares in tow had seemed like a wise decision. The clown and the changeling were far too conspicuous for a daytime reconnaissance mission. Charlie had worried they’d draw attention. Now they were standing a few yards down the sidewalk, watching the Orville Falls Walkers assemble the latest Tranquility Tonight shop. Luckily, no one who passed gave either of the Nightmares a second look.
“Wait a minute. Is that Dabney from the Netherworld?” Alfie asked, squinting in the clown’s direction. “Charlie? You let a Nightmare creature come through the portal? Isn’t that against
every rule in the book? The book your own stepmother wrote?”
“And what’s that thing he’s carrying?” Paige asked. “It’s dressed like a baby, but it looks more like a warthog.”
“That’s Bruce,” Charlie said, sighing.
“Bruce?” Alfie asked with a raised eyebrow.
Charlie realized that he had a lot of explaining to do. He’d only just begun, when a battered white van drove up and pulled to a stop outside the shop. The engine puttered out, and a man slid from the driver’s seat, stumbled to the back of the vehicle, and opened the doors. Workers gathered to unload the van’s contents. They carried stacks of giant blue signs into the store. Charlie recognized Josephine’s work.
“Are those more ads?” Alfie marveled. “They’re going to have everyone in Cypress Creek hooked on the tonic in no time.”
Suddenly the van’s motor sprang to life. A long, thin arm with an abnormally large hand at its end emerged from the driver’s-side window and gestured to Charlie and his friends.
Only Paige seemed to understand what was going on. “Genius,” she said.
There was no time for Charlie to stop Paige from climbing into the back of the van. He was suddenly faced with a terrible choice—join Paige or let her go it alone. Charlie hastily checked to make sure that no Walkers were watching, and then he scrambled inside, yanking Alfie in after him.
“I’m not sure this is the best idea you’ve ever had, Paige,” Alfie whispered after he’d pulled the doors closed.
“We need to find out who’s behind all of this, right?” Paige asked. “Well, Dabney just got us a ride to Orville Falls.”
“That was Dabney at the wheel?” Alfie asked. “I thought this was his first time in the Waking World. How does he know how to get to Orville Falls?”
Charlie looked around. He groaned when he realized there was one face missing. “Because Jack is up in the front with him,” he replied. His brother was taking over.
Charlie was relieved when the van finally pulled to a stop. He, Alfie, and Paige had bounced around like kernels in a popcorn maker for half an hour, and Charlie had come dangerously close to painting the van’s walls with his breakfast. The van’s back doors were yanked open, and Charlie blinked as bright summer sunshine poured in. The sky was a brilliant blue, and a flock of birds was flying overhead. It looked like a perfectly ordinary day. Then a tiny creature in red overalls hopped inside.
Paige’s eyes went wide, and Alfie squealed.
“Hiya. I’m Bruce,” the changeling announced.
Fortunately, Paige recovered quickly. “Hi, Bruce. I’m Paige.” Always polite, she held out her hand. Ignoring it, Bruce reached into his overalls, pulled out the diaper he’d been wearing, and flung it into a corner.
“Wooh!” Bruce sighed with relief. “Now that it’s just us and the Walkers, I don’t guess there’s a need for that part of the costume. Man, those things are uncomfortable! I mean, I see the appeal, but it’s just not worth it!”
Paige quickly pulled her hand away, and Alfie didn’t offer his own when he told the changeling, “Nice to meet you. I’m Alfie.”
“Alfie. Paige. You dudes ready to rock ’n’ roll?” Bruce asked.
“I taught him that,” Jack said, appearing at the van’s back doors with Dabney at his side. “Get out and take a look around,” he urged them. “You guys are not going to believe this place.”
“Paige and I saw it way before you did,” Charlie said as he slid out of the van. It annoyed him to hear Jack acting like he’d personally discovered the town. “Both of us were here yesterday.”
Alfie was the next one out of the van. He stood next to Charlie, taking in their surroundings. “Are you guys sure this is Orville Falls?” he asked, confused.
“Where else would we be?” Paige said. She pointed at an enormous banner that was stretched across the empty street where they’d parked.
Be a Doer, Not a Dreamer!
“What’s that supposed to mean?” Alfie asked.
Charlie looked around. In the few short hours since he and Paige had last visited, Orville Falls had changed even more. The shops along the street looked empty—and not just of people, of everything. Doors hung open, windows yawned wide, and the storefronts had been picked clean. Charlie peeked inside one of the stores and saw that everything of value was gone.
“Maybe we should ask them what the sign means.” Jack was pointing to a family that had just emerged from one of the buildings on the street. The parents carried stuffed garbage bags slung over their shoulders, and each of the kids was struggling to schlep a pillowcase crammed with bulky objects.
The family passed by Charlie and his friends as if they were completely invisible. The family was crossing the street, when the father’s bag burst. The man kept on walking as silverware, tin cans, and potatoes tumbled out.
“Where are they taking that junk?” Bruce asked.
“Let’s follow them and find out,” Jack suggested. “Come on!”
Charlie refused to let a nine-year-old lead the way. “Let’s,” Charlie said brusquely, stepping out in front of his brother and nodding for his friends to follow.
—
At the edge of Orville Falls, where mountains rose above the dense forest, Charlie and his friends came to a tall wall built of rock. It was already close to thirty feet high, but it was still under construction. Burly Walkers with drool dripping from the sides of their mouths were stacking rocks and cementing them in place. The wall seemed to stretch for miles, and it appeared to have a single gate. Charlie saw the Walker family pass through, lugging their pillowcases behind them. Then they disappeared into the forest on the other side of the wall. Charlie wasn’t sure where they’d gone, until he spotted a narrow road that cut through the trees. The sound of hammers in the distance guided his eyes up to an enormous old house that had been built directly into the mountainside. It was constructed out of moss-covered stone, and it looked like something out of a terrible fairy tale. Crumbling turrets erupted from its front two corners, and tiny dark windows randomly dotted its face.
“Whoa,” said Bruce. “That’s quite a crib. It looks like something you’d see back at home.”
“When I was at summer camp in Orville Falls, the kids used to talk about this place,” Alfie said. “They call it the castle. Some crazy rich guy built it about a hundred years ago. It’s been abandoned since he died.”
Charlie had heard those rumors too. People said the man who had lived in the castle had been a hermit who’d left his family and locked himself away. It sounded to Charlie like he’d had a lot in common with Silas DeChant, the man who’d built the purple mansion—and the man whose fear had opened the Netherworld portal. The castle’s owner had died all alone, and Silas DeChant might have met the same fate, if not for the woman who had refused to let him.
“Well, it looks like the castle won’t be empty much longer,” Charlie heard Paige remark.
The building was at least twice the size of the purple mansion, and was growing larger every minute. Walkers crawled across the structure like ants, working to expand the already enormous structure. The town of Orville Falls might have been empty, but the house on the mountain was bustling with activity. Everyone seemed to have gathered at the spot.
“Who’s moving in?” Jack wondered out loud.
The answer was obvious, Charlie thought. The mansion was a classic villains’ lair. It was the perfect home for the people responsible for Tranquility Tonic, villains so evil that they’d turned a whole town into Walkers and forced them to work as slaves. Charlie had never seen ICK or INK, but he remembered his brief glance of the man inside Tranquility Tonight, and he shuddered at the thought of meeting him face to face that very afternoon. But Charlie knew he had no choice. So he started down the path through the trees toward the strange building, gesturing for his miniature army of seventh graders, Nightmare creatures, and Jack to follow him. Charlie tried to look like he had a plan. He hoped he could come up with one before they reac
hed the castle.
As Charlie and his friends made their way up the hill, the Walkers never paused in their work. Charlie could see that most were in terrible shape. Their clothes were filthy and hung from their limbs. The people looked like they hadn’t been eating, and the stench that surrounded them made it clear that they hadn’t been washing up either.
Hastily built storage sheds lined the road to the house. The men, women, and children of Orville Falls were loading each of the buildings with goods they’d sorted into unusual categories. There was a shed filled floor to ceiling with boxes of potatoes and bags of dry cat food. The one beside it was devoted to disposable batteries in all shapes and sizes. They even passed a shed that was overflowing with lightbulbs. The stuff must have come from Orville Falls’s shops and houses.
“New owners sure are pack rats, aren’t they?” Alfie joked halfheartedly.
That was one explanation. But there were others as well—and one was so frightening that Charlie could barely ponder it. From the looks of things, Charlie was pretty sure that the castle’s owners were stocking up on food and supplies. The house on the hill was going to be the headquarters of a big operation.
—
When Charlie and his friends reached the front door, they were surprised to find no one guarding it. After a moment’s hesitation, they entered a cavernous foyer one by one. Just a few steps inside, and Charlie would never have guessed it was a sunny morning in July. The only light in the entryway came from two blazing torches. Charlie squinted, his eyes adjusting to the dim room. Gradually he was able to see what the torch flames illuminated. Lining the walls were heaping piles of precious objects. There was a mound of gold jewelry, a small hill of silver utensils, and a pyramid composed only of chocolate coins.