Nightmares! the Sleepwalker Tonic

by Jason Segel

  But Charlie knew he couldn’t make that promise. If ICK and INK were going to be stopped, someone would have to find a way to get into the lighthouse. Charlie hoped it wouldn’t be him, but something told him it might be.

  “Basil Meduso, is that you?” someone called.

  Meduso let go of Charlie’s shoulders and straightened his Hawaiian shirt. “My apologies, Veronica. I was just having a stern word with your son. About the lighthouse.”

  Charlie suddenly realized that he and Meduso were standing in front of their destination, the lawn of the Dream Realm house where Charlie visited his mother whenever he dreamed. As always, she was there in her jeans and clogs, tending the flower gardens that her boys had helped plant when they were both little. She was walking toward Meduso now, and Charlie met her halfway with a hug.

  “He’s been there,” Meduso said while Charlie still had his arms wrapped around his mother.

  Charlie felt his mom freeze for a moment. “Did you see anybody?” she asked her son, her lips close to his ear.

  “No,” Charlie assured her. “And I didn’t go inside.”

  Veronica Laird released Charlie from the hug but kept one hand on his shoulder. “Thank you as always for your help, Basil. Do you mind if I take it from here?” she asked.

  “Absolutely not,” Meduso said. “I believe I have a wave to catch. Charlie, I hope to see you soon.”

  “Vissssit ussss more often,” Fernando said.

  “If you manage to ssstay alive,” Larry called back as Meduso began to walk away.

  “Nicccce mannerssss,” Charlie heard Fernando scold his fellow snake.

  “What?” Larry answered. “If the kid can’t handle the truth, how’sss he gonna sssave us all from that big cloud of Nothing?”

  Charlie looked up at his mother. “Why do they think I’m the one who’s supposed to save the Dream Realm? Have things really gotten that bad?” he asked. He didn’t need a response. He could see the Nothingness behind her. It couldn’t be more than half a mile away. How long would it take for it to reach his mom’s house? Charlie wondered. A few hours? A day?

  “Let’s sit down and talk,” his mom said. Suddenly they were seated on the steps of the front porch, in the same spot they’d always chosen while Charlie’s mom had been alive. “Why did you go to the lighthouse?” she asked.

  Charlie told his mother about everything, from the smugglers who were sneaking the tonic into the Waking World, to Medusa’s theory that there was a portal located inside the lighthouse.

  “Another portal?” The thought appeared to have taken his mom by surprise. She seemed to be turning the idea over and over in her mind. “That might explain what Basil saw.”

  “What did he see?” Charlie wasn’t sure he wanted to know, and Veronica Laird didn’t look like she relished telling the story.

  “Charlotte told Basil about ICK and INK, and he went to investigate. When he got to the lighthouse, he said he saw a child standing at one of the windows—a little girl. He told Charlotte he’d never seen anyone look so utterly hopeless.”

  It took a moment for Charlie to find his voice. “Who was she?”

  “Basil never found out,” his mother told him. “She must have fallen into ICK and INK’s trap, the same one they set for Charlotte and me. Basil tried everything he could think of to rescue her, but every time he got close to the lighthouse, he was overcome by a terrible feeling.”

  “I know what it’s like,” Charlie said. “When I was at the lighthouse, I felt it too.”

  “So did I,” his mom said. “The day Basil saw the girl, it must have been particularly powerful. He couldn’t get inside to save her.”

  Charlie recalled Meduso’s mother telling him about her son’s fondness for humans. He didn’t mind scaring them, but he didn’t like it when they got hurt. Charlie had a feeling he knew what was coming next.

  “What happened to the little girl?”

  “We don’t know. She disappeared. Basil never saw her again,” Charlie’s mom continued. “We assumed the worst. Basil was crushed. I think he’s haunted by that girl to this day. But if there’s a portal in the lighthouse, perhaps she didn’t perish after all. Maybe she escaped to the other side.”

  “So ICK and INK kidnap children?” Charlie asked. No wonder Meduso hadn’t wanted him anywhere near the lighthouse.

  “I don’t know,” his mother admitted. “I’m sorry, Charlie. Charlotte and I should have tried to stop them decades ago. Now the burden has fallen on you. If ICK and INK are responsible for the tonic, you have to deal with them before the Nothingness reaches Cypress Creek.”

  Charlie followed his mother’s gaze up to the white wall that was threatening the town. He could have sworn that it was a little bit closer than the last time he’d looked. Once again, he was in danger of losing the one thing that mattered most to him. The fear he’d worked so hard to conquer was back again.

  “I don’t think I’m the one who can do it,” he admitted to his mom.

  “Charlie—” she started to disagree.

  “Stop!” Charlie interrupted a little too loudly. He corrected himself quickly. “Please stop, Mom. We both know Jack’s the special one. He’s the only one who has a chance of beating ICK and INK. He’s not scared of anything.”

  Charlie’s mom chuckled. “Yes, he’s always been that way,” she said. “I remember one time when Jack was about five, he saw a frog hop into a sewer drain outside our house, and he decided to go in after it. It was pitch-black at the bottom, but that didn’t bother Jack at all. When the fire department pulled him out, he was laughing the whole way back up. And then there was the time he decided it would be a good idea to climb into the bear enclosure at the zoo….”

  “So you agree with me,” Charlie muttered. “Jack is the one.”

  Charlie’s mom wrapped an arm around her son and squeezed. “I agree with you that Jack is special. But being fearless isn’t the same thing as being brave. In fact, I believe that in order to be brave, you have to be afraid.”

  Charlie put his head in his hands. His mother’s attempt to make him feel better really wasn’t helping. “That doesn’t make any sense.”

  “Doesn’t it?” his mom asked. “In order to be truly brave, you have to be able to see things clearly. Brave people analyze every side of a situation. They know exactly where the dangers lie, and they know what’s at stake. They’re terrified of all the things that might go wrong. So they don’t act impulsively or foolishly. But when it’s necessary, they do what they have to do. Being brave doesn’t mean you’re not scared. Being brave means you are scared, but you do the right thing anyway.”

  Charlie looked up at his mom. He could see from her expression that she wasn’t just trying to make him feel better.

  “Don’t you see?” his mom asked him. “Jack is the fearless one, Charlie. But you’re the one who’s brave.”

  “Hey!” whispered Alfie. “Wake up, Charlie. I think someone’s outside!”

  The Dumpster lid popped open, and the golden light of the setting sun washed over Charlie. When his eyes adjusted, he could see the cadaver-white face of a deranged clown hovering over them. Its leering smile stretched from ear to ear, and red diamonds framed its crazed eyes. Charlie managed to clap a hand over Alfie’s mouth before the kid could scream.

  “Get your hand off my mouth!” Alfie ordered in a muffled voice. “I know it’s just Dabney!”

  “Sorry, boys!” the clown said softly. “I didn’t intend to scare anyone. You two can get out now. The Walkers have disappeared. The Shopkeeper must have called off the search.”

  Charlie and Alfie cautiously climbed out of the Dumpster. The Piggly Wiggly parking lot was eerily deserted.

  “What happened to your costume?” Charlie asked. “Weren’t you supposed to stay disguised as a human?” He couldn’t pull his eyes away from Dabney’s clown suit. He had never been able to figure out why anyone would ever be amused by the sight of a grown man in a white jumpsuit with pom-pom buttons.
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  “I figured the Walkers would be looking for a man, not a clown,” Dabney explained. “So I took off my disguise before I came back to Orville Falls.”

  Charlie followed the logic, but he wasn’t sure it was the best idea. Getting Dabney back into Cypress Creek was going to be tricky. “And where’s Bruce?”

  “In the Netherworld,” Dabney said. “He took one of the bottles of Tranquility Tonic to Medusa. He left the other bottle in the purple mansion for Charlotte.”

  “Bruce went back to the Netherworld?”

  “Yes,” Dabney confirmed. “I took him to the mansion, and then I came back here to get you.”

  “But how did Bruce get through the portal?” Charlie asked. Neither he nor Jack had been there to open it.

  Dabney shrugged. “Is there meant to be a trick to it? Bruce just walked right through. I saw the whole thing.”

  Charlie couldn’t believe it. There were only two possible explanations. Either he’d left the portal open by accident, or Jack had left Paige alone and returned to Cypress Creek.

  “You better take Alfie home before his mom sends out a SWAT team to search for him,” Charlie told Dabney. “I’m going to check up on Paige.”

  “By yourself?” Dabney asked.

  “Are you nuts?” Alfie asked.

  “I don’t think so,” Charlie told them. But if he’d been perfectly honest, he would have admitted that he wasn’t quite so sure anymore.

  —

  The sun set quickly, and once it disappeared behind the mountains, Orville Falls was strangely dark. The streetlights were out, and the windows in the buildings that lined the main road remained unlit. It seemed every lightbulb in town had been removed and piled into one of the storage shacks outside the Shopkeeper’s castle. In the gloom, Charlie could see the dark silhouettes of rats scampering from building to building, feasting on whatever goodies the owners had left behind. Passing a pastry shop, he heard a commotion inside and paused to peek through the window. Charlie immediately knew that the moonlit scene he witnessed would be etched in his memory for the rest of his life. Inside the shop, thousands of rats were gorging on doughnuts, cupcakes, and éclairs. Charlie nearly screamed when a giant black specimen popped out of the cake in front of him, globs of pink icing clinging to its fur and a white rosette stuck to the top of its head.

  Charlie was scared—and he was glad for it. When he didn’t try to fight it, the fear sharpened his senses. His ears could detect the faintest sound. His eyes busily scanned his surroundings, picking up any sign of movement. But more often than not, it was Charlie’s sense of smell that saved him. The second he detected the scent of BO on the wind, he would duck into the nearest alley or crouch in the shadow of the closest trash can. Soon after, a group of marauding Walkers would thunder by, torches in hand. Charlie knew that if he hadn’t been so wary, he might not have smelled them. And if he hadn’t smelled them, he might not have made it to safety in time.

  When Charlie arrived at Josephine’s house, however, the fear reached an unbearable level. The little cottage’s windows were as dark as those in the rest of the town. It didn’t look like Paige and Jack had made it there. The house was deserted—or so it seemed, until Charlie waded through the weeds in the front yard. That was when he realized that the windows weren’t just dark—they were completely black. Someone very smart had painted them.

  Charlie rapped at the front door, using the emergency knock he and Paige had invented in fifth grade. It was two loud raps with the knuckles followed by three softer beats and an open-handed slap. If Paige was inside, she would know it was Charlie and let him in. Charlie waited nervously, and a few heartbeats later, the door flew open and he was pulled into a dark room and greeted with a hug. Charlie could smell strawberries in the air. Then the front door closed and the lights were flipped on.

  Charlie gasped at the sight before him. The last time he’d been to Josephine’s, the place had been a disaster—paint everywhere, food on the floor. Now it not only looked fit for habitation, it even felt…homey.

  “You did all of this in one day?” Charlie marveled.

  Paige gave him an exhausted smile. “I had some help,” she said, pointing to a little body that was curled up asleep on the couch. It was Jack.

  “He’s been here the entire time?” Charlie asked, confused. It didn’t make sense. If Jack hadn’t opened the portal in the purple mansion for Bruce, then Charlie must have left it open by accident the previous night. Never before had he been so careless.

  “Well, he went out for a little while to gather food,” Paige said. There was a tall stack of cans on the counter that separated the kitchen from the living room. “He said he couldn’t find anything fresh that hadn’t been nibbled by rats.”

  “But you’re both all right?” Charlie asked. He looked around the living room. Josephine’s paints had been tidied up, and the latest batch of ads were neatly stacked in a corner. But something was missing, and Charlie couldn’t put a finger on what it might be.

  “So far, so good,” Paige said. “You should take Jack home. It was sweet of him to come, but I think I’m going to be okay here.”

  A long silence followed while Charlie searched for the right thing to say. More than anything, he wanted to apologize. He wanted to tell Paige that it should have been him who had stayed by her side. Instead he asked, “How’s your aunt doing?”

  The question seemed to jog Paige’s memory. “I can’t believe I almost forgot! Come see.” She led Charlie into the bedroom at the back of the house. Charlie found himself stuck in the doorway the moment he caught sight of Paige’s aunt sitting up in her bed. She was clean and wearing a fresh white nightgown, though she stared at the wall in front of her with unblinking eyes. She was clearly still in a stupor. But Charlie suddenly saw what he’d never noticed before. Paige was the spitting image of her aunt.

  “Crazy, isn’t it?” Paige asked with an embarrassed grin. “It’s weird knowing what you’ll look like when you’re all grown-up.”

  Charlie figured most girls would have been thrilled. But Paige had never been like most girls.

  “I got her to eat a little bit,” Paige said. “She really likes canned mushroom soup. And look at this.”

  Paige unscrewed the top on a small glass container. Inside was a thick yellow gel. Paige passed the stuff under her aunt’s nose, and Josephine’s eyes darted back and forth as if she’d been startled out of a bad dream. Then she blinked twice and fell back into the stupor.

  “Did you see that?” Paige asked, excited. “It’s like she wakes up for a few seconds!”

  “What is that gunk?” Charlie held out his hand, and Paige passed him the container. A label on the lid simply said LIP BALM.

  “I found it under one of the chair cushions when I cleaned. Josephine’s lips were chapped, so I put a little bit of that stuff on her. Look on the bottom of the container.”

  Charlie turned the lip balm over and found another label, one he knew well. “She bought this stuff at Hazel’s Herbarium!”

  “I know!” Paige was practically bursting at the seams with excitement. “Do you think there might be something in there that could help Charlotte make an antidote?”

  Charlie had watched Charlotte make plenty of lip balms. She didn’t use any fancy ingredients as far as he could remember—just stuff like beeswax and shea butter. “Maybe,” he said. “Is it okay if I take this back to Cypress Creek to show her? She’s in New York right now, but she’ll be back tomorrow evening. Can you hold out here for another twenty-four hours?”

  “You make it sound like I have a choice,” Paige joked, but her face was serious.

  “What about your parents?” Charlie asked. “Won’t they be worried?”

  “I called them. They know where I am,” Paige said. Then she sighed. “My mom hasn’t been feeling well lately—and my dad doesn’t have time to worry about me. Aunt Josephine usually watches out for me when my mom is sick. But I don’t think Josephine’s able to worry about anyone r
ight now.”

  Charlie wanted to hug her. “Then I’ll worry about you,” he promised.

  Paige smiled. “And I’ll worry about you too,” she told him. “I guess that’s what friends are for.”

  —

  On his way into Josephine’s house, Charlie had noticed bike handles sticking out of the weeds in the front yard. When it was time to head home, he wheeled the bike out of the overgrown flora. He was somewhat dismayed when he realized the bike was painted bubble-gum pink, but he wasted no time in pushing it to the curb, where Jack was waiting, looking half-asleep.

  “Hop on,” Charlie told Jack, and he helped his brother climb onto the rack above the rear wheel.

  “You sure this is safe?” Jack asked with a wide yawn.

  “Nope,” Charlie replied.

  “Awesome,” Jack said.

  Charlie got up on the seat and felt Jack’s arms wrap around his waist. He started to pedal and hoped he remembered the way out of town. The dark provided some cover as they rode through the streets of Orville Falls. Twice, bands of Walkers spotted them and gave chase, but they were no match for a terrified twelve-year-old on a hot-pink bike. As soon as he and Jack reached the Orville Falls town limits, Charlie barely needed to pedal. The road was downhill to Cypress Creek. They sped through the woods that Charlie had once dreaded, but the forest no longer scared him at all. He had far bigger fears to face.

  A light rain met Charlie and Jack on Cypress Creek’s Main Street. As eager as he was to get home and dry off, something made Charlie stop the bike for a moment as they rode past Ollie Tobias’s house. He searched for signs of life through the windows.

  “Why are we spying on Ollie Tobias?” Jack wanted to know.

  “Just making sure he’s okay,” Charlie replied.

  “You guys are friends?” Jack asked in amazement.

  Charlie shrugged. “I guess,” he said. He’d never really thought about it that way.

  The housekeeper appeared in Ollie’s living room window. As she tidied up, a smaller figure in ninja attire stalked her across the room. Every time the housekeeper glanced over her shoulder, the little ninja would disappear behind the drapes or the sofa.