Ten minutes later, Jill put on her coat, and had her purse in hand. She pasted on a smile, and stepped into the lobby. Ryan was already there, waiting.
She smiled at the receptionist, and then at Ryan, but it took effort. Her stomach was in knots. Ryan motioned her towards the elevator. He didn't wear a coat. His athletic build under the well-fitted suit jacket made him seem bigger than life, confident, and very much the astute businessman. Her boss. That intimidated.
"We'll wait over here," he said and she knew he wanted distance from the reception area to talk without being overheard.
She followed him. When he stopped and faced her she tried to look unaffected. She knew she failed. He looked sexy as hell with dark hair dipping across his forehead, and those full kissable lips. Her eyes went to them, thinking of his kisses, distracting her thoughts.
In a low voice he said, "What did Greg say that upset you?"
She lifted her eyes, meeting his, and then dropping them again. Avoiding the mouth region. She stared at his chest. Not much better. She knew exactly how much hair was beneath his pressed white shirt. The perfect amount. And she knew how it felt under her hands and her mouth.
She willed her voice to remain steady. "It was nothing."
"Jill." His tone was intimate, low, and all too knowing.
It made her look up at him. Drew her like a spell of sorts. Made her want to tell him the truth. "He implied I was sleeping my way to the top."
Ryan muttered a curse under his breath. All she caught was bastard and then, "He's just being petty and jealous because I love your idea, and not his."
She looked at him then. Vulnerability was in her eyes and voice despite her best efforts to smash it. "You love my idea?"
"Absolutely," he said in a low voice that really did seem to hold sincerity.
For a minute, that helped. But then she remembered she was taking comfort from the very man who was landing her in the hot seat. "It still proves my point about what people would think if they knew we..."
"Ready?" Tyler surprised her from behind. Ryan had been focused on her words, and looked taken off guard as well.
His eyes held hers for an instant too long, dark and a bit brooding, rattling her nerves. She forced herself to turn to Greg, plastering on a smile. A skill she was becoming a master at.
Stepping onto the crowded elevator, Jill found herself pressed shoulder to shoulder with Ryan. The touch made her senses reel. His scent, male and spicy, wrapped around her like a drug, making her mind stall, and her heart race.
It always did. There was something about his scent. It turned her on.
She wondered if he knew she wore his gifts, the pink and black lace. Was he thinking about it too? About making love to her?
Unable to control herself, she looked up at him, her thoughts spilling from her eyes. He looked down at the same time. The message in his eyes was smoldering hot.
He was thinking about tonight as much as she was.
The moment was much too short as the elevator dinged and the doors opened. Now, it was showtime again. Tyler was waving her forward and smiling. She was hot and bothered over Ryan, Tyler's boss, her boss.
Even Greg's taunts didn't erase her desire. It made her hate it. But it didn't erase it.
It made her regret it. But it didn't make it go away.
It made her worry, fret, and stress. But not enough to stop the dampness gathering in her panties just thinking about showing him that very piece of clothing.
* * * *
Lunch was Chinese food at a restaurant that apparently Ryan frequented. Jill inwardly let out a breath of relief when they sat at a table instead of a booth. Had she had to sit beside Ryan the entire meal, she didn't know how she would have handled it.
When she went to shrug out of her coat, Ryan helped her. She glanced at him, knowing he was using the act as an excuse to touch her. She reprimanded him with her eyes. She didn't need this right now. It was hard enough to focus on business without him finding ways to touch her.
His expression was knowing, but not apologetic.
Once they had ordered, Tyler smiled at Jill and started making conversation. She didn't feel up to idle chitchat. Of course, she didn't have an option. Obviously, they were going to do idle chitchat. Like the weather. Damn. She commented, but barely.
Then Tyler said, "So, Jill, thanks for making me look good to my boss for hiring you."
Jill gave Tyler a sincere smile because he meant his compliment. "I appreciate the opportunity."
"How's your Mother?"
Jill stiffened slightly. They had talked about her mother in her interview. "She's doing very well. Student teaching. She'll never teach on her own again, but the involvement with the students makes her happy." She inwardly cringed. Why did she say all of that? She should have kept it short and sweet.
Tyler looked at Ryan. "She put her career on hold for several years after her mother had some health problems."
Jill reached for her glass. Somehow, having Ryan know about her personal life made their relationship all the more cloudy and emotional.
"Where's your father?" Ryan asked quietly.
Jill took a swallow of tea and then sat her glass down. "He died when I was five."
He didn't seem to notice or he didn't care that the personal questions bothered her. "It's just the two of you, then?"
"That's right," she said. She made an attempt at a smile. It failed. She didn't like people's pity. She definitely didn't want it from Ryan. "Just me and mom."
The rest of lunch was all business. Ryan never said anything out of line, or even glanced at her too long. Both men seemed to truly like her ideas for BG. She shared several versions of her vision, and each one got a stamp of approval. By the time lunch was over she was set up to work with Celia to coordinate a formal presentation.
Jill was excited about her success. And she hoped Ryan's support was strictly business related. She knew it was. BG was too big for him to risk losing it over poorly motivated actions. Still... Greg's words ate at her.
Chapter Eight
She wasn't going to the hotel.
She had to put a stop to this crazy relationship with Ryan, if it could be called that. A relationship. It was more a bedroom blitz. Not the right thing to risk a career over.
She sat at her desk working, watching the clock. She was five minutes late.
Ten minutes late.
The office was dark. It was Friday night. No one was at work.
Only her.
Alone.
When she could be with Ryan.
She looked down at her work, willing herself to focus. She glanced at the clock. Fifteen minutes. Twenty minutes. Every five minutes seemed to matter more and more.
Forty-five minutes late.
What in the hell was she thinking?
She shoved her chair back and grabbed her purse, not even bothering to reach for her coat. The exterior offices were pitch black. She flipped out her office light, casting the room it in shadows. She turned the corner in a brisk move which launched her smack into a hard form. Strong arms, arms she would know anywhere, Ryan's arms, circled her.
Her chest rose and fell rapidly. "Ryan..."
His mouth came down on hers, hot and heavy. Angry. She didn't care. She'd take his kisses any way she could get them. Melting against him, kissing him fervently, she clung to him with both her body and hands.
Slowly, his kiss changed, became almost tender. Anger still rolled under his surface, threatening to roar to life at any moment. He backed her up into her office, taking her purse from her and tossing it down as he kicked the door shut.
Her purse flew open and things scattered. It didn't matter. She didn't care about that either. To hell with her purse.
When her butt hit the desk he lifted her up, spread her legs, and stepped between them. "Did it ever occur to you that I have something to lose here too?" he asked in a low voice that hinted at more than anger.
She wanted to respond, but his ha
nds slipped up her thighs enticing a physical rather than verbal reaction. The minute his hand made contact with the lace of her hose his eyes dropped. He pushed her skirt higher.
He stared down at her silk and lace covered legs, the hose he had bought her, and then slowly let his eyes move back to her face. Dark, smoldering eyes met hers.
His voice was low, intense. "My reputation is on the line here too. Yet, here I am about to take you, right here in your office."
Her decision was made. She wanted him. She might as well push the envelope. He wanted her. Passion seemed to best way to fight his anger. "Ever done it in an office before?"
One of his fingers brushed her panties, and then gently stroked. "No, never."
She swallowed hard. His finger had slipped inside her panties now. She swallowed again. Twice. "Ever think about it?" Her voice had a breathless quality.
He brought his mouth just above hers. "Every damn time I'm around you."
He tried to claim her mouth. She pulled back--just barely. It took supreme willpower. She wanted those wonderful lips on her. "Then this can be part of our fantasy world."
His hand went to the back of her head, pulling her mouth to his. He slanted his mouth over hers, pushing his tongue past her teeth, and kissing her with flaming hot need. Demanding. Her words seemed to ignite him.
She loved feeling his need.
She met him with just as much fire, telling him she meant it with every stroke of her tongue. She hadn't gone to the hotel, but she wanted him. Her hand went to his pants, finding his hardness with her palm, stroking, and caressing. His tongue was tireless, demanding more as her hand moved against him, and she gave more back.
She made quick work of his belt and zipper. When she reached inside and pulled his erection free, he stopped kissing her, making a strangled sound, as she wrapped her hand around his long, hard length.
"I want you," she whispered.
He shoved his pants and underwear down his hips, and stepped towards her. "Wrap your legs around my waist."
She did. No hesitation. There would be time for slow and easy later. Now wasn't that time. He positioned himself between her thighs, pushed her panties aside, and slid inside her body, cupping her butt with his hands to pull her fully onto him.
She moaned and wrapped her arms around his neck.
His movements were fast, and hard. Urgent. She felt it too. Wanted it. "Yes," she called out as he lifted her body, holding her weight as he inched in and out of her with fervent, wild movements.
There was emotion behind their need. They both knew it, felt it. It was the battle of right and wrong. Should they or should they not be together. She still felt anger in him. Anger that she hadn't shown up at the hotel. Anger that she was his employee. Maybe even anger that he wanted her.
Well, damn it, she thought, as she nipped a bit roughly at his neck. She didn't want to want him either.
But she did.
* * * *
They were both breathing heavily as he sat her down on the desk, but made no move to release her. He dropped his forehead to rest against hers for several heartbeats. She wasn't sure what she expected from him, but it wasn't what she got.
"Let's get out of here," he said.
She wasn't about to argue. "Okay."
He raised his head and looked down at her. "You shouldn't have..."
She pressed her finger to his lips. "I know. I regret it. I was coming to the hotel when you showed up here. I swear."
He reached out and lightly traced her cheek with his fingers. The anger was spilled, now gone.
They readjusted their clothing in silence, lights still out. Not that she had a lot to adjust. She had never undressed. She was, however, glad she kept tissue in the office. She didn't want to roam the halls under the circumstances, not even to go to the bathroom.
When they had put themselves back together, he grabbed her hand. "Ready?"
She nodded. On the elevator, he pulled her close. She sighed. He made things feel so good. She must not be normal. Separating sex and emotion wasn't coming easy for her. Yet Cat said people did it all the time.
Her lashes fluttered, and she suppressed a shiver as he brushed a kiss on her neck. She was failing horribly at this casual sex thing.
Once they were on the ground level she followed him to his car without thought. She either took taxis or the subway when she traveled. At least they didn't have two cars to deal with.
As they pulled onto the street she glanced at Ryan. She loved the way he looked driving the 911, all confident, sexy man. She remembered the night they had met. She would never have believed they would end up seeing more of each other.
Never.
But that night had been good. Mind blowing. But so was every night with Ryan.
They pulled up to a stoplight. She was lost in thought. "What are you smiling at?" Ryan asked her, playfully tugging at a lock of her hair.
"Oh," she said, realizing she was lost in thought. "I know you'll find this hard to believe, but I was thinking about sex."
His brow inched up. "With me I hope."
"Of course," she said, smiling.
"What exactly were you thinking?" he asked with a sexy little smile.
"How good it is with you," she said softly, a seductive purr to her voice she didn't intend, but it was there, proving how sexy he made her feel.
He was staring at her. A car honked. The light was green. "You're making it hard to drive." He put the car in gear and then grabbed her hand. He pressed it to the front of his jeans showing her the literal truth of his words.
"Oh," she said in surprise, with her hand very still. But she felt him grow under her touch and the power, that heady, seductive power Ryan alone had introduced her to, took over.
She looked at him from under lifted lashes as her fingers traced the soft top of his arousal. Her eyes moved along his jean clad legs. She was glad he had changed from his work clothes. She loved the way jeans hugged his muscular thighs.
His hand covered hers. "That wasn't an invitation to make me wreck the car."
Jill laughed softly, but she let her hand slip away from his leg. Her eyes traced the bulge of his shoulders under his t-shirt, making her mouth water. It took effort, but she forced her attention back to the road.
And she frowned. "This isn't the way to the hotel."
He slanted her a look. "I'm taking you to my place."
"Oh."
She didn't like that. His place felt more personal. Not fantasy. It felt real and made her think of forever, and her job, and Greg, and too many things she didn't want to think about. She was having a hard enough time dealing as it was.
And then there were their financial differences. Somehow, the fantasy world thing made her forget about those. She clenched her hands in her lap.
"Jill?"
"Hmm?" she asked, looking at him; trying to suppress the panic she felt. This is what she had wanted. For him to act like she was more than a plaything, and include her in his life. And that's what taking her to his apartment after all those nights in the hotel implied. Didn't it?
Yet, after Greg's comment, the reality of just how dangerous her relationship with Ryan was had become astoundingly clear. She wasn't ready to leave their fantasy world. Who had she been kidding thinking any differently? She needed the shield it gave her.
"What's wrong?" Ryan asked, glancing between her and the road.
"Nothing." But her voice didn't say nothing and she knew it. She couldn't help it. "It wasn't anything."
Ryan knew exactly what was wrong with Jill. She didn't want to go to his house. It bothered him. After the incident with Greg, he decided his whole fantasy world idea was crap. She hid behind it, freaking out when the fantasy threatened to become reality. The bottom line was he wanted Jill for a lot more than a few romps in the sheets.
He'd been patient, given her plenty of time to get used to their relationship before he made her take the next step and accept they existed outside of that hotel room.
But the time had come.
He had no intention of keeping his feelings, or their relationship, in the closet forever. Sooner or later, it would come out that they were seeing each other.
Now was not the time for absolute exposure. But that day would come. Best he started preparing her for what would come next. By the time the world knew, he would have her committed to him. Forever.
He wanted to marry her.
Marriage was something he had thought he would never want. Jill made him want it. Made him want her. Hell, he'd dated women far longer than he had been seeing Jill, and never even considered marriage. With Jill, he knew that second night with her. In truth, he knew the first night.
But then she had disappeared.
"I checked out of the hotel when you didn't show up."
She didn't say anything. He knew she wouldn't.
But he would. Plenty. Later.
One step at a time, he reminded himself.
Chapter Nine
Ryan quite literally pulled Jill into his apartment. Her expression held so much reluctance one would have thought she was being pulled into a gas chamber, not his home. It made his heart squeeze painfully.
Her resistance hurt.
This wasn't how he had planned things. He wanted her to want to be here. In all his years as a bachelor, he had never felt alone. The thought of Jill rejecting him made him feel alone.
He didn't like how it felt.
He moved behind her, helping her shrug out of her coat, and kissing her neck. "I'm glad you're here."
She was stiff as she turned to him. "Why am I here, Ryan?"
Her directness shouldn't have surprised him, but it did. He touched her cheek, just the lightest of touches. "Because I want you here."
He didn't give her time to respond, taking her purse from her hand and moving to the closet. He never wore a coat except in the worst of weather.
She stood there, arms wrapped around herself, looking nervous. Inwardly, he sighed. She wasn't making this easy.
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