Regenerate

  After several minutes, Lander buzzes his lips like he’s bored. “Are you finished yet?” he asks, turning away from a face hit at the last second.

  “I’ll be done when I’ve bloodied your stupid head,” Rax says through his teeth. He swings at Lander’s right kidney but stumbles slightly as his punch is yet again ineffective.

  Even if Lander somehow continues to avoid getting pounded, watching people I care about fight because of me makes my chest twist with pain. “Raxtin. Guys, stop it. Please!” I grip the top of my head and clench my jaw to keep it from trembling.

  Lander nods in my direction while ducking a left swing. “Do you really not care that this is upsetting her?”

  Raxtin lets out a guttural growl at his latest missed hit. His shoulders are hunched forward and his feet are wide apart, setting up for his next move. “It’s not as upsetting as you pretending to be into her and then dropping her like a rock the second you felt like it.”

  Rax’s words make a painful knot form in my throat, and my nose stings. I cross my arms around myself and take a step farther away.

  Lander glances at me and bites the inner corner of his lip, his brow pinching together. “I agree. That was really messed up.” He plants his feet firmly on the ground and locks his blue eyes on mine.

  SMASH!

  Rax’s fist makes contact with Lander’s cheek, pitching him sideways. Lander catches his balance before he hits the ground and rights himself. His eyes find me again, filled with an unspoken apology.

  I get it. That hit was for me.

  The thunder has become a constant rumble now, filling the air like an omen.

  Lander tests the blood seeping at the corner of his mouth. His eyes narrow at Raxtin. “Are we done now?”

  Rax stares off into the forest, his fists still balled and his shoulders rising and falling like an active volcano. He says nothing but gives Lander a curt nod.

  Lander dusts off and heads towards the shack. He pauses beside me. “See you inside, Averi.” He glances at Raxtin and back to me, then leaves.

  As soon as the door closes, I turn on Raxtin. “He let you hit him.”

  “I know,” he says without turning, his voice rough and low. Without another word, he storms off into the trees.

  A cold, icy rain breaks from the clouds and runs over my skin. Do I follow my friend who is so mad at me he just punched someone, or do I leave it to fester? I draw a deep breath. Festering never produces healing.

  I find Raxtin parked under the widest pine tree near the shack, the boughs keeping the sleet off of him.

  I plop down beside him. Neither of us speaks for a while.

  “So just like that, huh?” Rax finally says, picking at the pine needles around him. He keeps his focus well away from me.

  “Just like what?” His tone is so accusing it makes me want to scratch his face off.

  He works his jaw side to side as he formulates his words. “Just like that you flip from me to him?”

  I slide down a little deeper against the tree and bury my hands in my coat pockets. “That’s not how it is.”

  “Sure looks like it to me.” He emphasizes each statement with the rough toss of a pine needle. “You jump from kissing me one day, to kissing him the next. How is that not what this is?” He turns his scowl on me.

  Anger wells up in my stomach and I straighten. “First of all, let’s get one thing straight. You don’t own me, Raxtin.” I glare at him. “We’ve been friends for a long time, but that doesn’t mean you get to claim me or have first dibs. And for the record, he kissed me long before you ever got the guts to. So stop acting like I stabbed you in the back.”

  He stares blankly at the dry, yellow pine needles in his fingers, breaking each one in half and throwing it aside. His Adam’s apple bobs in his throat as he talks. “You should have said something before you let me kiss you, then. I thought it was special. I didn’t realize I was part of a line-up.”

  With both hands I shove him as hard as I can, knocking him sideways.

  His eyes pop open and he stares wordlessly, waiting.

  I cross my arms. “Quit being a jerk! I’m not obligated to tell you anything. And it was special, at least to me. Apparently, kissing and flip-flopping is only ok when you’re the one doing it.”

  He rights himself but doesn’t sit as close as before. “What are you talking about?”

  I shiver and pull my coat tighter around my neck, then tuck my knees into my chest. “How do you think Zeph feels right now?”

  “Uh . . .” He blinks and scratches his chin.

  “And how do you think I felt watching you kiss her all that time? I’ll tell you: it hurt like crazy. But I stuck around and stayed your friend. And I didn’t go punch her out either.”

  “That was different, Averi.”

  “Yes, it was,” I say. “I was your friend for years.” I jab a pointing finger at my heart. “Yet you chose her over me.”

  Rax throws his hands up. “I thought you weren’t interested. I swear.”

  “You never tried to find out!” I press my hand to my heart. “You never gave me the chance to decide what I wanted. You chose for me. Now you’re mad at me because I’m choosing for myself.”

  Raxtin shifts and crosses his arms. “You’ve always had a choice, Averi. Even when you were choosing not to choose.”

  I shake my head and focus on the rivulets of water running off the stems of the tree we’re under. “Raxtin, we’ve been manipulated by the Organizers our whole lives. They’ve arranged and rearranged us, defining for us who we should be and whom we should be with. But this time, I’m the one choosing for me, and I chose Lander.”

  His fist punches the ground with a soft thump. “How can you even say that? Averi, you barely know the guy! And most of what you do know was a lie. I’ve been with you your entire childhood. We know each other better than anyone. There’s no way he can care about you like I do.

  “I’m sorry you felt like I picked Zephani over you. If I could go back, I would change things. But I can’t. Why won’t you give me the chance to prove that now?” He reaches out and gently takes my hand in his.

  I gnaw on my lower lip. I see what he’s saying, but the time for that suggestion has passed. “Raxtin, you’ve been my best friend. I don’t think I would’ve survived my life without you. I’ll always have feelings for you. When you started dating Zeph, it helped me realize I wished we’d been more than friends.

  “But really, even that doesn’t matter. It doesn’t change how I feel. When I’m with Lander, I’m a better version of me. Everything becomes clear and I’m able to see why I’m me, and what I really want in life.”

  Raxtin drops my hand and shakes his head, the muscles in his jaw bulging.

  I draw a long breath, letting the scent of pine and aspen fill and soothe me.

  I sigh. “I’m sorry I can’t make this ok with you. I wish I could. I want us to stay friends, but that choice is in your hands now.”

  And with that, I stand up and walk back to the bugout, leaving Rax behind to mull things over in the wintry rain.

  After we eat our rehydrated dinner, a meal called beef stroganoff, the four of us sit in a tight circle on the floor around the battery-powered lantern and discuss our plans. Lander and I are going to stay close to here, and I assume Rax will too since he hasn’t said otherwise. Jett is determined to track down where they took the other GAPs and rescue Kachina.

  “I have to go back for her,” he says. “I can only imagine what she thinks of me ditching out on her without a word of explanation. Besides, there’s no way I’m leaving her to be forcibly married off to some loser.”

  Lander is leaned back on his hands, his feet stretched out in front of him. “I’m not saying you shouldn’t, Jett, but I’ve seen the type of facility they’re taking them to. It’s a fortress. And I’m not just talking about the innovative security tech. It’s deep under the ground and made of ballista-crete.”

  Jett’s brows rise. “What the heck i
s that?”

  Lander raps his knuckles on the bunker’s cement floor. “It’s like concrete, but engineered to withstand atomic warfare and all that comes with it.”

  Jett releases a gusty sigh.

  Raxtin slumps forward and runs a hand through his hair, his elbows draped over the top of his tucked knees. “Jett, I don’t know, man. If they catch you trying to smuggle out a GAP…” His eyes suddenly turn to me and his words fall short.

  “You’ll be exiled,” I finish for him. The words send a stabbing pain through me. My poor dad.

  “I’ll have to take the risk,” says Jett. “Lander, do you know the layout well enough to tell me?”

  Lander shakes his head. “I can draw you a map of where I think they’re going, and a rudimentary design of the one I saw, but still it’s no guarantee. They only told us basics about our mission and not a scrap of information more. Most of what I know about all this didn’t come from them.”

  “Jett,” I say softly. "As much as you want her back, it might not be possible.”

  Jett punches a fist into his own hand, his lower lip tucked in grim resolve. “Possible or not, I’ve at least got to try, Averi.”

  I bite my lip, fighting my emotion at the idea of losing another friend to the retribution of the Organizers.

  Rax’s eyes are on me for a quiet moment, and I can see he’s working something out. But what, I don’t know. I stare back at him, hoping he’ll try to talk Jett out of this crazy idea, at least until we can come up with something less risky.

  “I’ll come with you, Jett,” says Rax, still holding my gaze.

  My chest squeezes at his words. No. It’s all but suicide and Rax knows this. “Rax?” I mouth to him.

  He gives a subtle shake of his head then turns and smiles ruefully at Jett. “We might both wind up outcasts, but at least you’ll have good company.”

  Jett claps him on the shoulder. “Thanks, man.”

  I feel like a part of me just died inside. He’d rather never see me again than stay my friend. I’ve lost another person I love. I pull my arms tightly around my aching stomach. There’s nothing I can say, that I’m willing to say, to make Rax change his mind. I know that.

  While Jett and Rax discuss their plans, Lander slides a little closer to me. He doesn’t say anything, just rubs the small of my back with his hand. The affection and warmth in Lander’s touch soothes all the little broken pieces inside me, and I let myself sink against him.

  The small old clock in here indicates it’s getting late. We clean up the dishes from dinner, but just as I turn on the water to wash them, the lantern’s light flickers and goes out, leaving us in the dark.

  “What on earth?” says Rax.

  Pain, like a zapping stream of fire, shoots down my left arm and I scream, collapsing to the ground. I press my hand as hard as I can over the source of the agony. It’s my armband. Without thinking, I claw it off, only to see my skin seared red in the shape of the band, with blisters already forming. A strange blue light blinks erratically beneath my burnt skin. Each time it does, a new surge of agony tears through my arm. I clutch at my bicep, trying to make the pain stop, but it doesn’t help.

  My own screams ring in my ears. Tears are streaming down my cheeks. Despite my torment, it occurs to me I am not the only one yelling and holding my arm; all of us are. Granted, the guys aren’t crying like me, but still, we’re all sprawled on the ground.

  I’m absorbed in my own private hell of agony, curled in a tight ball. Shivers of pain keep coursing through me. Then a warm, strong arm slides around me and pulls me in close, holding me tight. Lander. I don’t know how he managed to think through this pain enough to come be by my side, but his touch brings immense comfort.

  After what seems like forever, our screams die down as the initial pain subsides into a burning, aching pulse in our arms. The four of us sit quietly bracing ourselves, propped against various walls. Lander hasn’t left my side, and we sit shoulder to shoulder.

  Someone cracks the door open, letting in the last pale rays of sunset.

  “Raxtin, look,” says Jett between heaving breaths. He extends his left arm towards Rax. “See the charred spot in the center?”

  “What are you talking about? Half your arm is charred black,” Rax snaps through his teeth.

  Lander’s jaw is locked together and he’s breathing heavily through his nose. Still, he manages to move close enough to see what Jett is talking about. “Let me see.”

  “Right there,” says Jett, pointing.

  “It’s your tracker,” Lander says, his nose wrinkled with his own pain.

  “Yeah,” says Jett. “It looks burnt up, like a shorted-out computer circuit.”

  I squint my eyes and muster up the courage to peek at my own arm. Exactly where my grain-sized chip should be is a charred blot with small veins of black extending out from it.

  “Do you think it’s the Organizers?” asks Rax.

  “Let’s hope not,” says Jett. “We all just took off our signal blockers.”

  “Well, there’s no way I’m putting that thing back on now,” I say, lifting my blistered arm for emphasis.

  “Agreed,” says Lander with a wan smile.

  “Shh. Listen,” says Rax.

  We all go quiet and then we hear it: screaming and moaning far off in the distance.

  “Do you think it’s the same thing?” I ask.

  “Sounds that way,” says Lander.

  “But why would the Organizers do that to their own men?” Jett asks.

  Rax stares off towards the door, his expression tight. “Maybe it’s not the Organizers.”

  We discuss going down, but decide it’s best to wait. We try to wash our burns under the faucet, but the water doesn’t work, and neither do the clock or the lights. Finally, we call it a night, and with our skin still feeling like it’s cooking, we lie down and try to get some sleep.

  Whatever just happened, I hope the Organizers won’t come looking for us yet.

  I don’t know how long I’ve been asleep, but I’m pretty sure it’s still night. The burning in my arm continues to be intense, but that’s not what wakes me. Brilliant white light is pouring in the cracks around the door.

  I grab the shoulder of the nearest body next to me—I think it’s Lander—and shake him. “Wake up,” I whisper, my voice sounding as frantic as I feel. “I think we’ve been found!”

  He bolts upright and stares at the light a moment. Slowly, he crawls towards the door and chances a peek out.

  “No,” he whispers. “It’s not a spotlight. I’m not sure what it is.”

  Rax and Jett are up too now. We all inch forward on our hands and knees.

  “Is it daylight?” asks Jett.

  I shake my head. “No, too early still, I think.”

  Finally, we open the door and slip into the shack, and from there outside. The entire world as far as our eyes can see is lit up like noon day, but the dull, globular light of the moon and stars are still visible through the soft white glow of the sky.

  Raxtin holds a hand above his eyes as he looks up. “Lander, is this some kind of new tech?”

  Lander turns a small circle, his eyes squinted. “That wasn’t my area of information, but I don’t think so.”

  We turn around in all directions. In the softly lit sky, vibrant bands of color weave in huge florescent ribbons. It’s more beautiful than any rainbow I’ve ever seen.

  I can’t help but gasp. “What is it?”

  “An aurora borealis, I think,” says Jett.

  Rax shakes his head. “Those don’t show up this far south.”

  “Well, they do now,” says Lander, pointing at the sky. “Strange.” The colors go on and on, as does the light. We silently watch the sky for a long time.

  Lander draws a long breath through his nose and nods to himself like he’s made a decision. “I’m going to sneak down and see what’s happening at their base camp.”

  “I’m going with you,” I say, stepping forward.
I need to know what’s going on, and I don’t want Lander in danger with no one to help.

  Lander smiles at me. “Done.”

  Raxtin looks from me to Lander and back, then grits his teeth. “Come on, Jett, let’s get back to the house. You and I need to rest up in case we have to make a run for it tomorrow.”

  They head back to the bunker, and I watch them, feeling helpless. I hate the way Raxtin looks at me now. If I could think of something to say I would, but I draw a blank. Lander’s hand finds mine, and it eases some of my pain. “We better hurry before the light fades.”

  I glance down at our entwined hands and give his fingers a gentle squeeze. “Yeah, you’re right. Let’s go.”

  We make our way from our hideout and down to the nearest bend of the stream, then follow it towards where we heard the screaming hours earlier.

  Up ahead, the forms of strange vehicles and tents take shape. Carefully we edge closer, then lie under some brush to watch the camp.

  Nothing moves but the wind in the trees. There are no birds singing, no people talking or snoring—nothing. All is eerily still. Footprints and drag marks show a hasty, disorderly exit on foot. All the vehicles and equipment seem to have been abandoned.

  Lander nudges my shoulder and points to a lumpy shape on the ground no more than twenty feet away.

  I focus on the strange form—then realize what it is I’m seeing. It’s a body. And from the unnatural position and complete lack of motion, I’m pretty sure it’s a dead body. I’ve never seen someone so crumpled and still. Bile rises in my throat and I look away.

  I force my eyes to scan the camp yet again and cover my mouth to stifle the scream wanting to escape. Dozens of bodies are lying randomly all over the camp.

  Lander leans close to my ear. “I think everyone left in camp is dead,” he whispers. “I’m going to get a closer look, but you can stay here if you’d rather.”

  Stay here? Alone? Not a chance. I shake my head. “No. I’m coming with you.”

  We crawl out of the brush and slowly, quietly make our way around.

  The first corpse we come across startles me. I recognize him. Another wave of nausea hits. It’s the man they called Allister from yesterday. His vSpec lenses are charred black and the glass is cracked. I don’t look too closely, but I can tell that behind them is worse than our burns from the armbands. All the bodies we see are similarly burned, and some are no more than a pile of ashes that are still smoldering.