by Carrie Elks
“Are you all right?” Nina asked her. “After last night?”
Becca gave her a half smile. “I will be.”
“I’m so sorry you got caught up in all that sibling rivalry.”
“I’m kind of used to it with four brothers,” Becca said, shrugging.
Nina’s eyes were warm. “He’s a good man, you know? He’s been hurt and he doesn’t always know how to do the right thing, but he has the kindest heart when he lets it show.”
“I know.” Becca’s throat felt tight.
“He and Melissa were never right. I could tell that from the start. She’s so much happier with Lawrence. He gives her the life she always wanted, at the center of Charleston society.” Nina exhaled softly. “What happened last night was just her getting caught up in the past. It hurts when a guy passes you over and chooses somebody else. Even when you’re married.” Nina smiled.
“I know.” Becca nodded. It was true. She knew Melissa wasn’t really a threat. She also knew she over reacted last night.
“I told Daniel something that I want to tell you, too.” Nina was on the front step. A light breeze lifted her hair. “I’ve never seen him look at anybody the way he looks at you. He’s so in love with you, Becca. If you can, please find a way back to him.”
Becca’s lip trembled. “I will,” she whispered.
“Good.” Nina smiled. “Now go back inside. I have a feeling you two have some talking to do.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
He’d never get sick of seeing Becca Hartson walk into his living room, her dark hair flowing over her shoulders, a smile curling at her lips. Damn, she was beautiful, and he didn’t deserve her.
But he wanted to be the kind of man who deserved to have this beautiful, sensitive, funny woman on his arm.
He’d spend the rest of his life proving it to her, if she’d let him.
He held his arms open, and she stepped into his embrace, her head soft against his chest. Lowering his head, he breathed her in, the ache in his ribcage lessening as he curled his arms around her.
“I’m so sorry,” he whispered into her hair. “I’m sorry for hurting you. For driving when I shouldn’t have and making you scared.” She looked up at him, her eyes shining, and his stomach contracted because she was so beautiful. He cupped her face, lowering his lips to her brow, kissing her softly. “I’m sorry for not being honest.”
“Can you tell me about the baby?” Becca asked him.
Every cell in his body was telling him not to. But he knew they were wrong. If he wanted to deserve this woman, he had to show her who he was. He needed to be honest and vulnerable.
Even if it killed him.
“Let’s sit down again.” His lip quirked. “Hopefully nobody else will be knocking at the door.”
“We’ll ignore it.” Becca’s eyes narrowed. “People need to learn to call before they come over.”
They sat down, and he pulled her close, unwilling to be apart from her again. He cleared his throat, sliding his fingers between hers. “Melissa and I were on the verge of splitting up when she discovered she was pregnant,” he said, swallowing hard because this was so damn difficult to talk about. “It came as a shock to us both. But she thought it would bring us closer together, while in reality it tore us apart.”
Becca leaned her head against his shoulder. “Do you think she planned it?”
“I don’t know. She said she didn’t. And in the end it doesn’t matter, because it takes two to make a baby.”
“Can you back track a little?” Becca asked. “Tell me how you met Melissa.”
She wanted it all. And he’d give it to her, whatever it took. It was painful knowing that back then he wasn’t the man he should have been. He fell short so many times. How could Becca love him if he couldn’t love himself?
“Melissa was an old family friend. Our fathers knew each other for years. That’s how Lawrence and I met her. We dated for two years. For most of that, I was working all the hours I could. I started off in the sales department. I traveled all over the country, sometimes all over the world, talking to clients, getting orders in. And it didn’t leave much time for relationship. Melissa resented that, but I didn’t change a thing.” He blew out a mouthful of air. “We should have split up long before we did. But my father liked Melissa, and then there was Lawrence…” He sighed. “Even after Dad died, I didn’t do the right thing until the truth was hitting me in the face. And when I tried to end our relationship, she told me she was pregnant. And I felt trapped.”
Becca squeezed his hand. “But you were going to stay with her?”
“I thought it was the honorable thing to do. But I didn’t stop traveling or working every hour I could.” He shook his head. “I worked harder than ever. Because when I was working, I didn’t have to think about what a mistake we were making. We were arguing a lot by that point. We couldn’t even agree on where to live. She wanted to buy somewhere in Charleston, I wanted to be near the distillery. Then she gave me an ultimatum. Either I moved to a job in the distillery that didn’t involve traveling, or she left me.”
“And you refused?”
“I saw red. Told her not to pin me into a corner. We didn’t talk for days, and then I left for a meeting in Toronto. That’s when the phone calls started. She tried everything. Begging. Arguing. Pleading. And eventually she started telling me she was feeling ill. That I should come home in case something happened to the baby.”
Becca’s face fell. “Oh god…”
Daniel’s breath felt ragged. “I told her she was imagining it. That she was fine. I’d take her to the doctor when I was back. I was still going to be there for the baby, even if the two of us didn’t make it.” He glanced up, his pained gaze catching Becca’s. “Then, in the middle of the night I got the phone call from the hospital. She’d lost the baby.” There was a softness to his voice that made her ache.
Becca blinked back tears. “I’m so sorry.”
“It was my fault. I should have been there when she needed me.”
“It wasn’t your fault.” Becca was vehement. “These things happen. They’re nobody’s fault.”
“I still should have been there.” Daniel curled his fingers around hers. If she pulled away now, he wasn’t sure he could take it. “And I truly regret that I wasn’t.”
“What happened next?”
“Lawrence was there for her when I wasn’t. Took care of her, showed her love. Within a month of her leaving me, they were engaged.”
“Did she do it to hurt you?” Becca asked, frowning.
“I don’t know. Maybe.” Daniel shook his head. “It doesn’t really matter. The truth is, they’re more suited to each other. It never would have worked between us. But it still didn’t stop me from feeling like a failure. And when I heard the distillery in Scotland was looking for a new director, I jumped at the chance to get away.” He looked at her through his thick lashes. “And now you know what a mess I was. Still am.”
“I know what a human you are,” she said, her voice raspy. “I just wish you’d told me about it before Lawrence did.”
“So do I. So much. But I was so afraid of losing you if you knew the real me. I wasn’t prepared to take that chance.”
“I want to know the real you.” She shook her head. “I’m not afraid of your past, Daniel. I’m not going to run away because you’ve made mistakes and have been hurt.”
“But you left last night.”
“I wanted to leave because you lied to me. Or lied by omission, anyway. It messed up my mind. I couldn’t think properly. I didn’t leave because of the baby. I’m so damn sorry about the baby. I can’t even imagine the pain that kind of loss causes.” She brushed her lips against his. “I just wish you’d told me.”
“I’ve spent my life trying to be perfect. It’s hard to admit that I’m not.”
“But nobody’s perfect. We can’t be. Why is that so hard for you to admit?”
He ran the tip of his tongue over his bottom lip.
“I guess I always felt like that’s the only way to be loved. My dad…” He shook his head, sighing. “It’s always the damn parents, isn’t it?”
She smiled softly. “So I hear. Your mom said something about your dad pitting you and Lawrence against each other.”
Daniel nodded. “I can’t remember a time when I wasn’t compared to him. Wasn’t told that I needed to be better, faster, stronger than him. To be fair, Lawrence probably had it worse. He was the oldest son, therefore he should have been all those things. Yet he was constantly compared to me, too.”
“Your dad got off on your rivalry.” Her voice was low.
“I guess he did. He enjoyed having us compete for his love. Encouraged it. Even after he died, Lawrence and I still hated each other. And then things started going wrong between Melissa and me, and I guess he saw his chance.”
“I don’t like Lawrence.”
Daniel chuckled. “Good. And you don’t have to. He’s not a big part of my life.”
“Nina wants him to be. So does your mom.”
“My mom wants everybody to be happy. She adores you, by the way. Thinks you keep me on my toes.”
“I like her, too.”
“Does that mean there’s a chance for us?” His chest felt like a vice was wrapped around it.
Becca nodded. “I think there is,” she whispered. “If you promise to stop clamming up when I try to talk to you about something difficult. I can’t take you telling me to leave again. And if I try not to overreact every time something goes wrong.”
He winced at the memory of their argument. “I don’t want you to leave. Ever. I’ve never wanted anything as much as I want you to stay with me. I love you.”
Tears filled her eyes. “I love you, too.”
He brushed the teardrops from her cheeks with the pad of his thumb, then softly kissed her, marveling at this beautiful woman loved him.
Warmth rushed through him as she pulled away from their kiss, smiling shyly up at him. He reached out to trace the line of her lips with his fingertip. “You don’t know what that means to me. I don’t know what I did to deserve you. I’m so afraid of messing this up.”
“Maybe you could change your thinking,” she told him, her lips moving against his finger. “Rather than being afraid of messing up, figure out how you’ll make it better when you do. We’re not perfect, we’re going to make mistakes. I’m going to get angry with you sometimes. And you’ll get furious with me, I’ve no doubt. But if we keep talking, if we’re honest with each other, maybe we can really make this thing work.”
“I want that more than anything,” he admitted, his voice gruff.
Her heart gave a little leap. “So do I.”
“How did you know that you’d fallen for me?” he asked her, his expression so open it made her heart hurt. Vulnerable Daniel might be her favorite.
“I’d been thinking about it for a while. But the moment I was certain of it was when I saw you covered in mud, your jeans stinking of pigs and farms. I never thought anybody would go up against my brothers for me. But you did, and I fell for you.” She pulled her lip between her teeth. “And you? When did you know?”
He closed his eyes, a smile playing on his lips.
“When I saw how competitive you were at board games.”
Her mouth dropped open. “That’s what did it?”
Daniel shook his head. “It was the last piece of the puzzle. You amazed me. I knew before we even spoke that you were kind. It radiates out of you. And then I learned you were funny, enough to make me laugh just remembering the things you said to me.” He pressed a kiss to the tip of her nose. “You’re brave, too. You never back down from a confrontation with me, not just last night, but at work, too. The competitiveness was the cherry on top. It’s what makes you so damn perfect.”
“I’m not perfect.”
“You’re perfect for me. That’s what I’m trying to say. And after that afternoon in the library I was done for. I stopped fighting my feelings.”
“You make my heart soar,” she told him softly. “Not just because you say the sweetest things, but because you’re kind and funny and brave. You’re willing to do things you’re afraid of, to be honest and open and reveal your imperfections.” She stroked his cheek tenderly. “I love you so much I could burst.”
The warmth of her words were like a caress. He leaned toward her, his lips pressing against hers. He curled his hand around her sweet face, angling her so he could deepen the kiss, brushing his tongue against hers until they were both short of breath.
“I’m the luckiest man that ever breathed,” he told her, kissing her again. “Thank you for giving me another chance.”
Becca tiptoed up the stairs, wincing when one of the steps squeaked under her weight. She’d sent Daniel up to sleep hours earlier. He was exhausted after dinner – Aunt Gina’s beef casserole, of course – and she knew he needed to rest. He’d smiled when she told him she had some calls to make, anyway. He was getting used to how chatty her family was. So while he slept she phoned each of her brothers in turn to thank them for being there at the hospital and to give them an update on Daniel.
It touched her heart how they all sent their love to him. Sure, they could be asses sometimes, but she loved those boys.
Daniel’s door opened, and he stepped outside, his hair a sleepy mess. “Are you going to bed?” he asked her.
“Yeah, I was just heading to the guest room. I didn’t mean to disturb you.” She wasn’t sure why she was whispering. Maybe the sight of him bare chested in a pair of black pajama pants took her breath away.
“Sleep with me.” His eyes were soft. “Please.”
“You need to recover.”
He reached for her hand, pulling her toward him. His torso was warm against her body. “I’ll recover better if you’re with me.”
She smiled. “Okay. Give me ten minutes. I need to shower and brush my teeth.”
“Take your time.”
He was laying on the mattress when she walked back into his room, his beautiful, muscled body stretched out on top of the sheets. He rolled over and held out his hand, his eyes warm as he took in her silky nightgown.
“You look so damn gorgeous you drive me crazy,” he told her, his voice rough. She climbed into bed beside him, and he pulled the covers over them, sliding his arm around her waist to pull her body to his. He let out a low growl as he slid his palm down her back, his movement aided by her silken nightgown.
He buried his face in her throat, his lips kissing her skin. “You smell amazing.”
She felt a sharp jab of arousal between her thighs. “Daniel, we can’t. You just got out of the hospital.”
He laughed against her neck. “I’m feeling pretty damn good right now.” He pressed a kiss to her ear. “Thank you for taking care of me.”
“I was expecting more of a fight, to be honest.” She smiled at him.
“Are you disappointed I didn’t give you one?”
“I figure you didn’t have the energy. And there’ll be plenty more fights to be had.” She slid her fingers into his silky hair, and he groaned as the tips massaged his skull.
“Keep doing that and I’ll never fight you again.” He could smell the sweet fragrance of her as she leaned over him. The neckline of her nightgown gaped, and he glanced down at the soft swell of her breasts. His eyes were heavy lidded as he brushed his hand down her side, his thumb feathering her nipple.
“Daniel…” A pulse throbbed at her core, matching the rhythm of his touch.
“It’s okay.” He captured her lips, sliding his hand down further, hitching her thigh over his hip. She could feel his excitement press against her, hard and thick. He kissed her again, swallowing her sigh as he slid his hand inside her nightgown and cupped her breast.
“Daniel,” she was breathless. “You need to rest.”
“Tell my body that.”
She reached down to feather her fingers against his erection. “You’re so hard.”
&nbs
p; “Don’t you know how you affect me by now? It’s like your body sings to mine.”
“I guess it could be therapeutic,” she murmured. “If you stay very still.”
He blinked. “Therapeutic?”
“You’ve had a hard day.” Her lips curled at his surprise. “You need some stress relief.”
He took her face between his palms, looking into her pretty eyes. “Are we okay?” he asked her, an edge to his voice.
“We’re more than okay.”
“You don’t hate me anymore?”
“Only a little bit.”
He laughed, and it hurt his bruised ribs. “I’ll take that.”
“I love you, too.”
Daniel inhaled sharply, his eyes so soft she could lose herself in them. “I love you more.”
He pulled her on top of him, sliding his hands along her thighs. She straddled him, her hips circling.
“I thought you didn’t believe in love.” She rolled her hips again
“Did I say that?” He curled his hands around her waist. Steadying her. Taking control.
“You said you didn’t know what love was, if it existed at all.”
He tugged at her nightgown, pulling it over her head. His breath caught as his gaze slid over the curves of her breast, her tight stomach, the flare of her hips.
“I know what it is.” His gaze was intense. “It’s like being stabbed and kissed by the same person. It’s being so happy you can’t figure out how you ever didn’t feel this way. It’s seeing somebody smile and your heart stopping because you put that damn smile on their face. It’s knowing you can’t live without them, and being terrified you’ll really fuck it up next time.”
She brushed her lips against his, smiling. “There’s going to be a next time?”
“I can almost guarantee it. The sun rises, the world turns, Daniel Carter fucks things up.”
“I have something you can fuck up.”
He laughed, looking surprised at her swearing. “You do?”
“Mmhmm. So why don’t you stop all this emo stuff and take me already?”