by Nana Malone
Jesus Christ, I might feel like she was mine, but I was the one who was completely owned. A few people had walked by and given us curious glances as we argued in the hallway, but by and large, no one seemed to notice too much. When I returned to my office, thinking of all the ways I could bend her to my will, there was Drew in my fucking chair. “Mate, is there something I can help you with?”
He leaned back and bounced in the chair more. “Nice digs, mate. You’ve got to tell me where you got this chair. I’ll want to get one for my office.”
I closed the door and leaned against it. “What the fuck do you want?”
“I was wondering how long you were going to sulk.”
“I’m not sulking, you idiot.”
“You seem like it. We haven’t talked in a couple of days. I sent you a text, but you didn’t respond. So you forced me to come down here.”
“Yeah, about that, you should have called. I had a meeting.”
He shook his head. “I can see your fucking calendar, you idiot. You don’t have another meeting for thirty minutes. So there’s just enough time for you and me to have a chat. Are you mad at me, mate? Do you want to have a good cry about it? Hug it out?”
“Fuck you.”
Drew grinned. “Sorry about the other day. I was bang out of order saying what I did in front of Livy.”
“You don’t say.”
“I’m usually better at secrets than that. But let’s not make the mistake of thinking you weren’t bang out of order too. You just don’t seem to see it.”
I lifted a brow. “As apologies go, this one sucks.”
“Well, I’m just telling you something you need to hear. Not giving her all the information made her a target. You and I both know that. If you care about her, tell her everything. You don’t hide shit. You would think we’d all been through enough for you to know that by now.”
Guilt gnawed at me. “What the fuck do you want, Drew?”
“Just to say I’m sorry I fucked up. But you should have told her yourself.”
“Fine, are we done here?”
Drew’s smile was smug. “You really don’t like to be wrong, do you?”
“Well, I hardly ever am.”
“Yeah? Okay, if you say so. Look, just say the words, ‘I was wrong.’”
I blew out a chuckle despite my irritation. “Fuck off.”
He grinned. “Yeah, yeah. I love you too, mate. I’m sorry if I made things complicated for you.”
I scowled at him. “You know she’s barely talking to me.”
“Well, do you even deserve for her to talk to you?”
I scowled at that. “Fair point.” I preferred it when my mates weren’t all up in my shit.
“Just saying.”
“You still shouldn’t have told her though. You should have left it to me because I would have eventually filled her in.”
He lifted a brow. “Fine. I fucked up.” His grin was quick and easy as he pushed out of my chair and then strode over to me. “I like her. She’s classy and independent. Smart too. And she has you by the balls, which makes me like her even more.”
“Yeah. She really does have me by the balls.”
“Are we good now? Or do we need to hug?” He opened his arms as he approached me.
I lifted a brow. I had two inches on him, but he was stockier than I was. If he wanted to wrestle me for a hug, it might be an even match. He was burlier, but I was faster and meaner. “No hug.”
He shook his head. “Come on now. Just come on in.”
I shook my head. “I’m not going to fight you. I have a meeting.”
“Not for a while. We can get a couple of punches in, but I’d rather hug it out.”
He approached closer, and I couldn’t help but laugh as I scooted out of the way.
He chortled. “Ben, just relax. Let it happen. Close your eyes and think of England.”
I shook my head. “Mate.” The laugh bubbled out before I could stop it. And I knew that he would keep harassing me until I let him hug me. As he rounded on me with a bracing bear hug full of macho back slaps, I growled. “That’s enough touching. Now back off.”
He stood back and grinned. “Love you too, mate. Fix your shit with her. She’s good for you. I haven’t seen you like this since that cunt Lila. You seem lighter.”
“Yeah, we need to work some shit out first, but we’ll see.”
“Well, she has my vote. And God, that arse.”
I smacked him on the back of the head, and he laughed even as he cringed.
“Aw, sorry. Just saying. She’s gorgeous. If I wasn’t married, I’d shag her.”
“We both know she wouldn’t stoop that low.”
Drew’s grin was easy. “Yeah, you’re right. Probably not.”
“Are we done here? Can I get back to work?”
“Of course. It must be so hard being a pretty playboy.”
“Don’t be jealous.”
“Why would I be jealous? You and I both know, I’m the prettier one.”
“Oh, Drew, when did the delusion start?”
He chortled as he let himself out of my office. And just like that we were back on an even keel again. Even though he was right, I had fucked up. But I was getting there. I’d just have to keep working to get her to trust me again. And also maybe try not to be a jealous prick.
Some things were easier said than done.
Livy
After my last meeting in the morning, I took the elevator down three flights to the familiar red and gray walls of the executive floor. It had made me happy that morning to hear from Kennedy when she said she wanted to have lunch.
I’d all but jumped at the chance to escape from Ben, because after his antics with Kevin, if I didn’t get away from him, I was going to kill him. What the hell was his damn problem? He was acting like a child. It was beyond ridiculous. He was sulking, sending daggers with his eyes. If he had his way, poor Kevin would be dead. Not that I hadn’t noticed Kevin staring at my ass. Every time he looked at me, he was like a starving man staring at a juicy steak. But he’d kept his comments and, even more importantly, his hands to himself, so I hadn’t had to take matters into my own hands. But still, Ben needed to trust that if I needed to, I could take care of things.
Take care of things? Are you sure about that?
Fine, I was sure of nothing. And of course, there was the idiotic cavewoman version of me who liked Ben’s antics, the jealousy and possessiveness. It was as if every smart feminist part of me had immediately forgotten how to exist and was replaced by this version that wanted to see how far I could push him. When I remembered what had happened when I’d come back from Telly’s… A shiver ran through me just thinking about it.
That was pure possession. And God knew I hated men like that. But coming from Ben, there was something so sexy about it.
Which is why you let him bone you against the door.
Yeah. That was another one for the ages. But for all intents and purposes, we’ll just say I wasn’t in my right mind.
I reached Kennedy’s door and knocked. Her “come in,” was muffled by the door. When I opened it, she met me with a wide smile as she stood. “There you are. I swear to God, I thought Ben had kidnapped you.”
I grinned at her. “Hi. It’s good to see you again. I’ve just been so busy. Since I got pulled out for the Peterman project, I haven’t had a spare moment to come down here.”
She waved her hand. “You think I don’t know Ben? He’s too afraid I was trying to steal you back. And if I know him, he has irritated you enough that you might want to come back, despite the better title and the salary.”
I had to laugh at that because, accurate. “Ah, you know him well.”
She nodded. “Yes. Yes, I do. I figured you wouldn’t have much time, so instead of going somewhere, I thought I’d order in for us. Is that okay?”
As I stepped farther into her office, the scents of lunch wafted toward me. There was a Vietnamese place down on the corner tha
t Kennedy had always ordered from when I worked for her. They had the most amazing clay pot meals. I could almost taste the ginger and lemongrass now. I couldn’t help but do a little dance. “Oh my gosh, you ordered from Lemongrass?”
She laughed. “Yes. I figured you’d had enough boring and expensive ‘we’re having meetings’ sort of places where everyone wore a three-piece suit.”
“Uh, yes. How did you know?”
“Like I said, I know Ben.”
It was then I noticed she was smiling. She seemed lighter. “What’s going on with you? You seem, I don’t know... rejuvenated.”
She laughed then. “You could say that.”
I narrowed my gaze and then lifted a brow. “Oh my God, you have a boyfriend.”
She shrugged. “The word boyfriend is... well, more like fiancé.”
My jaw dropped. “Wh-what?” I sputtered. “How?”
She held out her left hand.
“But I’ve only been working for Ben for a month. How did this happen?”
She shrugged. “Ben assigned me to oversee a new partner. It turns out he was someone I knew.”
My jaw dropped. “Wow! What’s his name?”
The blush that hit Kennedy’s cheeks turned to crimson. “His name is Jax. He’s an Aussie.”
“Tell me everything.”
She gave me that giddy smile and regaled me with the story of her sexy Australian. Apparently, there had been some crazy misunderstanding two years earlier, but he’d come back to claim her. Ah, there was that word again, claiming. “Well, that’s amazing Kennedy. I’m so happy for you.”
We sat down to enjoy lunch, and as I was chowing down on my lemongrass chicken, she sat back. “Now, as much as I love to see you, we could have done this over dinner with alcohol. But I have a reason for asking you down here.”
“I was going to ask why we’re doing this at lunch and not with drinks or something.”
A low laugh came from her. “Yes, well, I also know that Ben keeps you locked up in the tower, so I wanted to give you an escape.”
“You know, you’re not wrong.”
“I know I’m not wrong. Ben can be a challenge. But underneath the alpha bluster, he can be a great guy.”
“Oh no, have been you been Stockholmed?”
A rich laugh bubbled out of her throat. “You know what, sometimes I think I have been.” She sat back then. “So, you’re writing a book?”
I slowly eased my drink down. “Yes. How did you know?”
“Ben told me. You know, I have a friend at Morningstone Publishing. He’s an editor there. He specializes in suspense and true crime. And I understand that’s what you’re writing.”
I blinked once. And then again because I was convinced my ears weren’t picking up exactly what she was saying. “Um, yeah. That’s true.”
“Well, I pulled some strings, and Forest would like to speak to you.”
More blinking, an uncomfortable shift. “What?”
She nodded. “Look, he’s on his way here. He couldn’t meet us for lunch, but he’s coming by for a quick twenty minutes before he has to go to another meeting. I wanted to make sure I introduced you.”
“But I’m not ready. It’s not ready. I don’t even have anything that makes sense yet, and why... Why would you do this?”
“Because I told him I had a friend who was writing something amazing.”
“But you haven’t even read it.”
“No, but Ben said that you were working on this book, and I know you. I know that everything you set your mind to, you make it work. So if I can provide an introduction, I would like to do that.”
Sweat started to roll down my neck and then pooled in my bra. Oh God. “I really appreciate it. Honestly, I do. I just… I wish... Oh God! Why would he do this?”
“Take a deep breath. It’s not that big of a deal. You’ll meet and talk about the book. If you guys don’t hit it off, you just met someone for twenty minutes and got to practice your pitch. That’s all.”
“No, I don’t mean him. I mean, Ben.”
Kennedy laughed. “Oh well, you know why Ben did it. He’s trying to control you. To show you he cares.”
I blinked. “Ah, no, he does not care. No, that’s not what this is.”
“Oh, relax. From the moment Ben started harassing me to let you become part of his team, I knew something was going on.”
A deep flush crept up my skin, making me far too hot in my tight-fitting dress. “You knew?”
“Well, I knew he had a thing for you. I didn’t know you had one for him until just now.”
“I swear, Kennedy, I’m a professional. Under normal circumstances, I never would have—”
She raised a hand. “Please, stop it. I fell in love with, technically, a client. The heart wants what the heart wants. At the end of the day, if you deny the heart what it wants, you’ll be miserable. But if you give in, you’ll be happy. I don’t know what’s going on with you and Ben, but I know that he wanted to give you something to make you happy. Now, that something he’s giving you, it’s a gift. You owe him nothing in return. And he can feel free to suck a bag of dicks.”
I just wanted to laugh. “That’s one way to put it.”
She shrugged. “Sometimes you have to say it like it is.”
There was a knock at the door. “Oh my God! I guess, we’re doing this?”
She laughed. “Yeah. I guess we are.”
I took a sip of my water and checked my teeth in the mirror to make sure there was no food in them. Kennedy had done me a huge favor, and despite how I felt about Ben’s meddling, I wasn’t going to blow off this opportunity just because I was terrified.
I’d deal with Ben later.
9
Livy
My stomach flipped. Forest Smith was the kind of good looking that made your jaw drop. Dark hair, dancing hazel eyes, just a hint of scruff to make him look slightly dangerous and like he didn’t give a shit.
He was also blessed with one of those smiles that showed off perfectly even white teeth, and when deployed, it sent two dimple missiles your way making your stomach and other things melt.
But as handsome as he was, and seemingly kind, those dimples did absolutely nothing for me. That’s because my brain space had been taken over by a Viking Brit who thought he owned my lady parts.
Damn it. I needed that brain space back for other opportunities. Because despite what he thought, we were done.
Okay, if you insist on telling yourself that.
I licked my lips nervously, my gaze skittering to Kennedy and back to Forest. “Mr. Smith. I appreciate—”
He waved me off. “Forest, please.”
“Okay then, Forest. I appreciate everything that you’re saying and what you want to do for me, but I don’t even have a complete book yet.”
He grinned. “But the pages Kennedy sent me were fantastic.”
My brows drew down as I glared at Kennedy. “What pages?”
Kennedy gave me a wide grin, her face lighting up as her eyes danced. “This is the part of the conversation where I tell you that, unfortunately, I am double booked and have to escape. I will tell you that Ben sent me some of your pages and ask you not to be too mad at him.”
She pushed to her feet and Forest rose with her. The two of them embraced and air kissed, and then she reached down and took my hand, leaning very close to my ear as she whispered, “If you want a replacement, I think Forest is single.”
And then, traitor that she was, she grabbed her laptop and sashayed out of the office with all the confidence and beauty of a woman who knew she was amazing.
I turned my gaze back to Forest. “This is embarrassing. But I… I didn’t send you those pages. Someone who was meddling did.”
He laughed as he leaned forward. “Look, I don’t care how those pages got to me. The point is they’re fantastic. The research is top notch. There’s some unevenness in tone, but we can smooth that out. A few passages are very factual, direct, plain. A lit
tle dry. And some have great hints of storytelling in there.”
“I’m not sure what Kennedy told you, but my mother started the book. She was looking for a friend who disappeared. After she passed away, I got all her notes and what she’d written so far. I picked it up and added some to those early chapters.”
“I assume the story telling is yours?”
I nodded. “When I was younger, I wanted to be a writer, but I found I was very good at telling people what to do, so now I’m a director of operations.”
“You’re a writer.” He stopped me from even beginning to argue with him and just barreled on. “We need to smooth out the first four chapters or so of the pages that I saw. And I want to see what you have coming up next. But I think you have a real opportunity here. We can fictionalize the story a little if you prefer to give it more of a fiction-thriller vibe and say it’s based on a true story. Or we can go with more of a true-crime approach which will take a little more time because you’ll need facts, evidence, and witnesses.”
I shook my head. “Oh my God, this is going fast. Look I don’t have anything else really. I’ve gotten maybe six chapters in. My mother originally outlined eleven to fifteen chapters, and I’m just getting my teeth into the research now.”
It was too much. I could feel the pressure around me like I was on one of those tilt-a-whirl rides, my body being pressed back against the wall while my feet were rising off the ground, and there was nothing I could do to make it stop.
I wanted to run out of there, go back to Ben’s, climb into bed, and crawl under the covers. Hide until I was able and ready to deal with all of this. Too much was happening too soon. And I just needed a beat.
Are you going to wait for your life to happen to you? Or are you going to take it by the balls? This is your shot. Grab it or let it go.
Fear was a powerful motivator in the steps that we all took. It could stop you from doing something, or it could drive you to do something else. But it was constantly there gnawing at you, never letting you get any rest. I could try to walk away from this, the thing that had held me so close to my mother over the last few months, or I could dive in. Really make this mine.