by Nana Malone
That filter I knew to employ failed me at a critical time. “It depends. If you have daddy fantasies, I can be both.”
She shuddered. “Eww. You’re in a mood and you’re making jokes?”
This was all wrong. Maybe I needed to start over. You think? “You want a drink? Let me grab us a drink.”
“By all means, you go ahead. Take all the time you need to try to reassess the words that came out of your mouth.”
Shit. I stood and poured myself a scotch, trying to simultaneously rein in my temper and find words that weren’t going to set her off. “I’m never going to like you putting yourself in danger. I thought you were big on communicating. Maybe if you’d talked to me about this plan of yours, I wouldn’t be feeling the urge to lock you in a tower where you’d be safe.” I watched as her shoulders rose with her chest and then settled again.
“There you go again with that dictatorial attitude. It’s not going to work out for you. Can’t we just agree that, like it or not, I’m part of this?”
I ground my teeth. “Fine.”
“Can we agree that maybe, just maybe, I might see something that you don’t? Like today, the alternate solution?”
“Yes, but—”
She didn’t let me finish. “Look, Ben. I appreciate you wanting to look out for me. But at some point, we’re going to have to agree to disagree. I’m part of this. I have been since that flash drive was tucked into my purse.”
I pinched the bridge of my nose and muttered a succinct “shit” under my breath. I’d fucked up so royally that night.
“I’m not saying that to mess with your head. I’m saying that we’re here now, and trying to stick me back in the tower after I’ve used ingenuity to find my way out is ridiculous. I get that you’re worried. Hell, I’m worried. I’m terrified. But you need to remember that I’m not weak. When the bad guys come, I’m not going to cower and scream in a corner. I’ll be right next to you, fighting.” She pushed to her feet, walking over until she stood in front of me. “If you’re planning on sitting out the fight, then great, we’ll sit at home together. But if you’re in it, so am I.”
I worked my jaw. She had a point. I knew it was important to her to have a say, some modicum of control over her life. But Christ, I didn’t have to be happy about it. “I still don’t like it.” I rubbed at the stubble on my jaw and tried not to think about how she’d held her own in that alley the night of the attempted mugging. Or how she’d fought off an attacker in my loft and made her way to me wearing nothing but a T-shirt.
She was a force. You need to accept that or lose her.
Just the idea of that had my gut knotting. “I’ll try.”
“That’s all I can ask. I’m not weak. Give me a chance to show that.”
“You’re right. You’re not.” I sipped my scotch, letting the liquid fire chase away the chill of worry even if temporarily.
She bit her lip as she took my hands. “For the record, I don’t like you being involved in this either. Bram Van Linsted has a hard-on for you guys. And not in a fun let’s-try-a-threesome kind of way.”
A cough sputtered from my lips before the full meaning of her words had even sunk in. And then the coughing seizure began as the liquor traversed the wrong path. “Livy!”
She grinned. “Sorry. Too soon for threesome jokes?”
I had no idea what to say as I shook my head. She was irreverent, strong-willed, and funny.
She eased herself back down on the edge of the couch, and of course my gaze went straight to her legs, long and lithe. I loved how they wrapped around my waist when I was sliding into her.
She was talking. Saying words. I needed to pay attention. Forcefully, I dragged my attention up to her eyes. Dammit, I’d missed something.
“…I want to be the sophisticated woman for you. But the truth is, when I’m not in the office, I don’t wear heels. I wear fun shoes. Funky shoes. Wedges and tennis shoes. I’m not pencil skirts and heels all the time.”
I frowned. What the hell was she talking about? “I don’t need you to be pencil skirts and heels all the time. I mean, it’s hot, but I’m pretty sure you’re what’s hot. The packaging doesn’t matter.”
Her brows lifted. “It doesn’t escape me that, you are a full-on playboy. You could have anyone want. You can date supermodels who are willing to squeeze themselves into things and ruin their feet like ballerinas. I have a lower tolerance for that kind of thing. And you like your house the way it is. I can tell you want to scream every time I bring a new candle in the house or add a funky little knickknack. But I need this place to feel like me. I brought one of my sculptures, and you stared at it for a solid thirty minutes.”
Was that what she thought? “I don’t think you understand.”
“No, I understand. You have no room in your heart or your life for someone like me. I am temporary, I know that. So, having you try to tell me what to do when I don’t know what my future holds when this is all over, well, I’m going to fight it. I understand you’ve been trying to keep me safe and I appreciate it. Honestly, I do. And this thing happening with us, I don’t really know what it is, but obviously, it’s pretty intense. But again, I know it’s temporary. I just want to be able to walk away from this unscathed and with my heart intact.”
“You keep saying that, ‘walk away from this.’ No one is walking away from anything.”
“There you go, trying to tell me what to do again. I’m just trying to make everything as comfortable as possible for myself while I’m here. Soon enough, I’ll be gone.”
“Jesus, woman, do you even listen to yourself?”
“I don’t know what you mean.”
“What I’m trying to tell you is that I don’t want you to go.” Way to be smooth, you arsehole. “I don’t want you to leave. I want you to stay.”
“I can’t stay indefinitely.”
“Why the fuck not?”
Her mouth opened and then closed. She tried to tuck away a curl behind her ear, but it only sprang free again. “Ben, what are you saying?”
“I know to you this doesn’t seem real, but it’s more than temporary to me. I stared at that goddamn sculpture because I liked it. I was wondering why I’d never filled this house with things that I liked before. I let someone else choose the entire decor. I couldn’t be bothered to focus on the small details because I didn’t care. But the moment I had you here, I cared. I care a lot. It felt weird having someone who lived here wanting to leave an impression, leave a mark. That’s why I stared.”
Her lips formed a small O. “Sorry. I just assumed...” She cleared her throat. “I just feel like I’m intruding.”
“You are. But I like it. And I need it. The reason I’m so irritated is because I’m terrified something is going to happen to you.”
“I’m not going to get hurt. Look, everyone in that room tonight, we all want the same outcome. Prince Lucas gave you his word. East, Bridge, and Drew, they’re your family. They’re in this as much as you are. Jessa and Roone are here because of Lucas. We have a common goal. You guys are one family.”
I met her dark gaze. “You’re my family too.”
“Ben, do you know what it feels like for me to not have any roots?”
I frowned at that. “What are you talking about?”
“Look, my mom has been gone for a bit now. I thought Dex would be my roots. I had a plan. It was all mapped out, even though for months I’d been feeling that wasn’t right. But there was a plan, and I needed that. Hell, right now, if you decide tomorrow that you’re done with me, I don’t even have anywhere to go to live. It’s ridiculous. I’m a woman who has goals, life plans, things she wants, and just being your girlfriend, moving in your house temporarily while we solve this thing, wasn’t part of that plan. I’ve lost my road map. I have no idea what’s going to happen in a month, or two, or six. Not that I want to know every little thing, but I need to know that I can still land on my own two feet.”
Was that what she was thinking of?
I stepped forward until my feet hit the carpet and I knelt in front of her. “You think I want you to be temporary?”
Her tongue peeked out and licked her bottom lip. “I don’t know what you want. I’m just on shaky ground, and I don’t like it. I need to be able to stand on my own.”
I nodded. “I get it. I want you safe. That’s why you’re here. But I am falling hard for you. I want you with me. But listen, get your own place if you want. If it’s going to make you feel more comfortable to have something that’s just yours, great. If you decide to stay here, you can rent it out to someone else who needs a place. Or you can make it an office. Whatever you want.”
“Just like that?”
“I want you to be comfortable. I want you here with me, but I don’t want you to feel like you’re locked in or stuck.”
“And you’d be okay with that?”
I shrugged. Nope. I wasn’t okay with it at all. She was staying here, but she needed to feel like she didn’t need me. “I’m okay with it. Whether we stay at yours, or we stay here, or we stay at the hotel, it doesn’t matter to me. As long as I’m with you.”
Pink tinged her cheeks, and she looked so beautiful in the lighting. “Careful now, I might kid you about being a sweet talker.”
“Yeah, well, I doubt that. But listen, I am worried about this plan. Could you just maybe agree to not be part of it? Step back and let me handle it.”
“No, Ben. Somebody put my life in danger. If you get to fight, I get to fight. If I was having a fight, would you be okay staying out of it?”
My brows snapped down. “Fuck, no.”
“Exactly. Now you see why I’m part of this.”
I searched her gaze and I could see she meant it. My beautiful Olivia, she was going to need her independence. If I wanted to keep her, I was going to have to loosen my hold. “Okay. But minimal involvement, all right?”
She grinned at me. “Is this the part where I let you believe, yes, I’m safe?”
I rolled my eyes and shook my head. “Yeah, let me believe that. Give me a little peace.”
“Okay, I can do that.”
You’re a coward. You should have just told her you love her.
My heart squeezed. The need to tell her something burned in my chest. I should have said the words. But she wanted her independence. I knew how to handle her now. I needed make her realize that she loved me too, as slowly as she needed to.
She’d come around eventually. I could be patient.
25
Livy
We had a plan.
I was an integral member of that plan.
In just a couple of days, I was going to help steal a priceless jewel…and hopefully not go to jail as a result.
How did we get here again?
I heard something out in the hallway, and at first, I assumed it was Ben. But he had a meeting tonight, and that’s why I was still there working late. I called out for my guard in case it was him. “Scott?”
No one answered. I frowned, shut my laptop down, and grabbed my phone. Then I opened the door to peek out in the hallway. I saw a shadow heading down toward Ben’s office.
Adrenaline set my heart galloping against my ribcage. Shit. Who is that?
I followed him down the hall. It was already nine o’clock, and the office, or at least our floor, was deserted. I’d already checked earlier. So who the hell was that?
All I caught was a dark figure running down the hall, dressed in all black. My first inclination was to go after them, to stop them. What were they even doing here and why were they running? From where I was standing, I could see just the corner of Ben’s office, and a second figure was inside.
Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit. Oh shit.
Ben’s office door opened, and I ducked into the cubicles. Suddenly, the lights went out and I panicked. One of the chairs from one of the center cubes was pulled out, so I ducked under the desk and pulled the chair in to conceal myself. I sent a text to Ben. 911 at the office.
“Where is she?” a voice said.
“I don’t know. I thought she’d take the bait.”
“Fuck. Did she go to the elevator?” They both glanced at the elevator, which wasn’t lit.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I stayed perfectly still, and after double-checking to make sure the ringer was off, I shoved my phone into my jacket pocket so it wouldn’t light up. But God, what the hell was going on?
Suddenly, the lights came back on, and I heard cursing.
Oh God. Oh God. What the hell is happening?
And then I heard Ben’s voice. “Liv? Livy? Where are you?”
My breath coming in shallow pants, I called out, “Ben?”
He came running from his office. “They got through our security. They ran in the back. I didn’t see their faces. Are you okay?”
I nodded and buried my face in his chest. “What in the world is going on? Why are people looking for me?”
“I don’t know. I wish I did.”
I buried my face deeper into his arms. I knew I was safe with him. But I also knew I wouldn’t ever be safe again until we dealt with the Elite.
Ben
I should have discussed my plan with someone else. I should have discussed it with Livy.
But you knew exactly what she would tell you.
Problem was, I hadn’t been able to sleep for thinking about the level of danger she was in. Someone had tried to hurt her in my fucking office. I had to do something. Anything. And I was just desperate enough to do whatever it took to protect and save her. Fuck my agenda. She was all that mattered.
You know what that is, right? That is called love.
I didn’t know what the fuck to call it. All I knew was that I wasn’t willing to risk Livy’s life or her freedom, not even to get justice for Toby. I’d find a way to make the Van Linsteds pay, but not at her expense. There had to be another way. Livy hadn’t asked any questions when I said I had some offsite meetings that day, and I’d had Scott drive me out to the Van Linsted estate. As we approached, I could feel the chill creeping in from my toes, climbing its way up my body like ivy on a summer trellis. By the time we reached the stone drive leading up to the mansion towering on the hill with lush green surrounding it and past the barrier of arboreta, I was so cold I wasn’t even sure my soul had survived the trip. When I stepped out of the car though, I knew the kind of desperation that had driven Dante to make the choices he made. Because I was willing to make any choices I needed to for Livy.
When I was led into Marcus Van Linsted’s office, I couldn’t help but think of the last time I had been in there. In the closet with Livy, I hadn’t known who she was or how much she would turn my life upside down. I hadn’t known that she would, from that moment on, become the most important human being in my life. More so than Bridge or even East, really. More so than the memory of my dead friend.
When I opened the door, Marcus Van Linsted stood. “Covington, I must say I’m surprised to see you. Last time we chatted I got the distinct impression you didn’t want to see me again.”
He wasn’t wrong. “You and I have some talking to do.”
“Well, a gentleman above all else, right? I’m willing to converse with a fellow brother.”
I tried not to gag on the word when he said it. This man knew nothing about brotherhood. Nothing about sacrificing for family. He was a selfish prick. But then, weren’t we all? “Look, I won’t waste your time. I’m just here to ask your price.”
He frowned. “Excuse me?”
“Your price… What will it cost for you to back off of Livy and leave her alone? What is your price to walk away from this?”
He frowned. “I assure you I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Now is not the time to bullshit a bullshitter. You’ve made it very clear and apparent that you want her out of the way. Whether it’s to get back at me and my mates or for some other nefarious reason, you want us to fall in line. What’s the cost?”
He laughed then. And I wanted to put my fist through his smug face. I was trying to bargain for her safety so I could dissuade her from engaging in a jewelry heist and endangering her life. It was one thing for me to go along with this heist. It was a whole other thing for her to engage in that plan. I had some very fancy, very expensive lawyers, which of course I would instruct to represent her, but I had the power of the Elite behind me. I wouldn’t go down for this no matter what happened. She, on the other hand, the Van Linsteds would make pay. And they wouldn’t wait for proof. They would have no such burden. They would just make her life hell, and I couldn’t allow that. So if I had to make a deal with the devil, then I would.
“I assure you, Bennett, I don’t know what you mean. I’m not after your half chat plaything.”
It took three steps to make it to his desk, and I planted my hands on it. “You watch how you speak about her. Do you understand me?”
I remembered the phrase half chat being used by some of the staff at the Van Linsted estate when I was a kid. It meant half thing, usually referring to people of mixed race. The Van Linsteds were arseholes, but that didn’t mean I had to stand for it. Even if I was there to beg for Livy’s life and freedom.
Marcus’s brows lifted. “You said you came to negotiate with me. But you’re threatening me in my office.”
“You haven’t given me an answer.”
“Why should I? I don’t even know what you’re talking about.”
“Olivia Ashong. You’re having her followed. You’re having people break into her office. You’re terrorizing her. I want it to stop.”
“Boy, I assure you I’m doing no such thing.”
“You can lie to me all you want. I’m onto you. This ends now. You need to tell your people to walk away.”
“You’d recognize if I was going after your girlfriend. Honestly, can she even be called that? You’re dipping a little below your station, aren’t you, boy?”
I scowled at him. “If you don’t shut your trap…”