by Kim Law
His soft plea turned to an irritated glare. What the hell was wrong with everyone tonight? He didn’t need to talk to anyone. He didn’t have anything to open up about! But if he did decide he wanted to talk, he’d find a certified psychologist to do it with. Not someone who wanted him to share his dreams so she could guess at his deepest, darkest secrets.
Megan moved to the doors, and panic suddenly gripped him. She couldn’t just walk away again. Not like this.
“What if I help you find a location for the store?”
She looked back at his question. “I don’t think—”
“As a friend. That’s all. I get it, Meg. We’re done.” And surprisingly, he did get it. And he had loved her, instead of still did.
Well, wasn’t this a big night for revelations?
“Why should our friendship have to change because our relationship does?” he went on. “But also, I want to help out as part owner of the business.” As he said the words, he realized the truth they contained. This was his company, too. Wasn’t it time he finally acted like it? “The orchard, the store, they’re a part of me as well, you know? I own a portion.”
“I am aware of that.”
“And that’s something you’re going to miss out on by not marrying me,” he teased, reaching deep for a smile when a smile was the last thing he felt like offering. A relationship was dying tonight, and no matter how long it had already been over, it still hurt to see it happen. “You could’ve been half owner of my sixth of the business.”
She gave him a rueful smile of her own. “I’m also aware of what I’m losing.”
He moved across the room then and took her hand in his. “I’m sorry I wasn’t what you needed, Meg. I wish I could have been.”
She cupped his cheek. “I wish you could have been, too. And I’m sorry I wasn’t the one able to help you to be your best you. I do agree with your suggestion, though. I’d like it if our friendship didn’t change. So yes, you can help me find a place. I’d appreciate the help, actually. You know the town better than me, you know what’s likely to be a better location, better landlord.”
“Maybe we can build instead of rent?”
She shook her head. “No. I want the new location operational before cherry season. It’s already the first of March, and tourists will start coming in well before the cherries are harvested. I want to be up and running soon, so the kinks are worked out long before the masses flood in.”
He took in the woman he was supposed to love. Who was supposed to love him. Who’d ditched years of schooling because she’d found a passion to improve upon his family’s business.
“You’re going be fantastic at this job, you know?”
“I’m already fantastic.” She winked and wrapped her hand around the doorknob. “Mess with me, though, and I’ll weasel my way in to part-owner.”
“Not without me you won’t.”
She chuckled, and then she released the door and wrapped her arms around him. As she did, she gave him a kiss on the cheek. “I’m still your friend, Jaden, and I always will be. You can always give me a yell if you need anything.”
As they separated, he had the thought that he’d needed her two weeks ago. Only, she hadn’t been there.
Then it occurred to him who had been.
Chapter Fifteen
You look like a pretzel folded up in my car like that.” Arsula stared down at Jaden sitting in the passenger seat of her hybrid, his knees practically at his neck. It wasn’t that he was that large of a man, but her compact combined with his need for extra space due to his cast almost made the idea of her lunchtime outing undoable.
“I feel like a pretzel.” He shoved at his left knee, as if his healthy leg needed the extra push just to fit into the allotted space. “Or maybe more like a jack-in-the-box. Once you park and I open the door, I’ll just spring out.”
“A Jaden-in-the-box,” she muttered. He painted a cute picture. “Just what I always wanted.”
Closing the door before he could say anything else—and hopefully before he would read anything into her “want” comment—she headed for the driver’s side. They hadn’t talked about what had happened between them yet, but that was on her. First, she’d avoided him the remainder of Sunday. Then yesterday, she’d been too busy working. Mondays tended to be more rushed around the office anyway, but it was possible she’d completed a handful of tasks twice—for the sole purpose of appearing busier.
But then last night . . . he’d rung the bell. And she’d flat out ignored it. She’d been unwilling to go downstairs and risk a personal conversation she wasn’t yet ready to have.
The ringing had started within seconds of Megan pulling away from the building, and Arsula had doubted Jaden really needed anything. She had listened at the door, though. To make sure he didn’t legitimately need any help. But as soon as she’d heard him moving around, she’d returned to what she’d been doing since Megan had shown up. What she’d been doing the majority of the prior thirty-six hours. Which had been lying on her bed and staring at the ceiling.
She and Jaden had kissed. Again.
They’d come darn close to doing more. Again.
And just like the first time, all of it had pretty much knocked her socks off.
She blew a shaky breath out now, before opening the door and climbing behind the wheel, and mentally psyched herself up to talk about it. Because she knew she couldn’t avoid it forever, but also because she had no doubt the subject would come up. Jaden had been loitering in the main area of the office all morning, as if intent on finding a moment to say whatever it was he had on his mind. Yet with Dani and Tim both in the office today, a private conversation had been impossible.
“So where are we going?” Jaden asked as she pulled away from the curb.
She tossed him a quick peek. He smelled like cologne and soap today. “I’m not saying.” She wasn’t saying because chances were good if he knew their destination was Wilde Orchard, he might open his door and spring out like the jack-in-the-box he’d mentioned.
He studied her for a moment before settling back into the seat as much as possible. “As long as it’s not the inside of a doctor’s office, I’m game.”
Arsula had been vague about her plans, only saying that she needed to get out of the office and asking if he wanted to tag along. However, she’d known from the moment she’d opened her eyes that morning what she needed to do. And not just because she wanted to see if there was merit to her theory that Jaden had unresolved issues with his father. She also just wanted to see Max. He’d shown up in her dreams last night. Nothing concrete had come from it, but enough concern filled her to get her out there.
“You’re not going to take me to a cliff and drop me off, are you?”
A hint of humor threaded through Jaden’s words, and with her silence of the last two days and the way she’d stomped away from him Sunday morning, she could see why he might ask the question. The fact was, though, that her anger had been directed more at herself than at him. She’d just used the excuse of his poor choice of wording to fuel the flame.
“I hear the views are good just before jumping off.” She hadn’t intended to kiss him again, but she certainly hadn’t imagined herself two seconds from helping him out of his clothes, either.
“And what have you heard about the views just before someone pushes you off?”
Her laugh slipped out involuntarily. There seemed to be no anger running through him today, and the more positive vibrations had been an assault on her senses since the moment she’d come downstairs.
“Don’t be funny,” she scolded him. “I’m still busy being mad at you.”
“I know. But I don’t like it when you’re mad at me.”
That one statement finished her off. Dang it. How could she hold on to a good fake anger when the man wanted to be cute? She made a turn and headed north. “Fine,” she admitted reluctantly. “I’m not mad at you. Does that make you happy?”
“Ecstatic. And for the recor
d, I’m not mad at you, either.”
That had her whipping her gaze to his. “Why would you be mad at me? I didn’t do anything.”
“Au contraire, Lula-bell. Aren’t you the one who’s supposed to be taking care of me?”
“I am taking care of you!”
“Then why didn’t you come when I rang the bell last night?”
She growled under her breath at his pointed question and went back to focusing only on the road. “You didn’t really need my help, so there was no reason for me to respond.”
“But I did really need to talk to you.” His voice changed, and she steeled herself for the conversation ahead. The issue was, she still didn’t know what she wanted to say. Or how to react when he brought it up.
Or how to make sure she didn’t end up kissing him again.
Because if Megan’s presence at the office the night before had only been to clear things up . . .
“So talk,” she said now. She swallowed and wet her lips. “You have ten minutes to get whatever you want off your chest.”
“Ten minutes until you arrive at my dad’s house?”
Again, she looked at him. How did he know that?
He twisted his mouth into a smirk. “Seems I can read you better than you thought. So why are you taking me to see my dad, Arsula? What are you up to?”
“I’m not up to anything.” She couldn’t make eye contact when she lied. “You’re the one who said you’re worried about him, don’t you remember? I’m just being nice. I figured you’d like to check in on him.”
“Dani’s the one who’s worried about him.”
“And you’re saying that you’re not worried at all?” She split her attention between Jaden and the road. She wasn’t sure why it was so hard for men to admit to a fear, but it seemed Jaden suffered from the same affliction. Finally, after an obstinate stare, he shrugged his shoulders in a couldn’t-care-less manner, and she was left to wonder if it wasn’t resistance to admitting his concern so much as it was a fear of the concern being valid.
“I’m worried about him, too, Jaden.” Her words were little more than a scratch from the back of her throat. “That’s the thing. I have been since the night I danced with him at your brother’s wedding.”
“Intuition again?” he asked.
“Intuition gets me through a lot.”
She expected him to give her the mighty brow lift—as usual—but he surprised her with an agreeing nod. “Fine. Then we go check on him.” He motioned toward the side of the road. “But can we pull over and talk first?”
“We can.” She could even do him one better. There was a pull-off up ahead. One that wasn’t situated at a cliff, but that looked out over the lake nonetheless. She kept driving until she got to it, then veered off the road into the empty lot. After easing into a parking spot and shifting into park, she didn’t let herself get sucked into the view of the crystal-clear lake spread before her. Instead, she turned to face Jaden.
He did the same.
“You would never be a stand-in,” he started, and Arsula’s fingers clenched involuntarily. For some reason, she’d assumed he’d lead with Megan.
“Maybe stand-in wasn’t the right word. But the reality is, I was convenient.”
“No.” The word had strength behind it, and he shook his head before trying it again. “No,” he said more calmly. “Yes, okay. You were in my bed.”
“Which was pretty convenient.”
“True. But that’s not why I kissed you, Arsula.” His voice softened even more. “That’s not why I wanted to do more.”
She didn’t let herself say anything. This was his moment, so she’d give him free rein.
Plus, she wasn’t sure she could speak if she wanted to.
“You would never be a stand-in because you’re you. Don’t you get that? And you . . .”
He trailed off as if searching for the right way to explain it to her and ended up letting out a sad chuckle.
“How can I even ask if you get it when I don’t?” he finally admitted. He leaned toward her. “And I don’t, okay? I don’t know why I’m so drawn to you. But I am. And not just physically. I have been since that morning in the hospital when I practically begged you to let me come home with you.” He lifted a hand as if intending to reach out to her, but let it drop back to his lap. “Are you aware that I’ve never begged anyone for anything in my life?”
She thought about the pleading tone that had come from him as he’d dreamed about his dad. He may not have begged for anything during his waking hours, but his dreams told another story.
“You were enjoying your painkillers quite a bit that morning,” she pointed out.
“True. But I didn’t beg anyone else.”
He hadn’t. Nor was she sure what she thought about the idea of her being the only person he’d ever asked anything of.
The knowledge was both sad . . . and a little unnerving.
“It’s you,” he said again. “I’m drawn to you, and not because you’re convenient. Or a stand-in.” He did reach out that time, and he put his fingers to her arm. The heat from his skin mingled with hers, and her breathing became shallow. “I’m drawn to your smiles, Arsula. To the fact that you make me want to smile. And because when I’m around you, I never know when to be prepared to duck.”
This time it was she who laughed. “I’ll have you know that I’ve only contemplated throwing things a couple of times recently.”
“Good to hear.” His eyes met hers again, and his smile faded. His hand remained on her arm. “You know that Megan stopped by last night?”
The ease of the moment shifted until the air seemed strung tight. “I do know that. Do you want to talk about it?” The urge to make the offer had been there last night, but she hadn’t been brave enough to hear what he had to say.
What if he still didn’t accept that Megan had moved on?
What if that still didn’t put a stop to her desire to kiss him again?
He didn’t reply at first, clearly slipping back into the conversation from the night before, but after a minute, he gave a self-deprecating shrug. “The thing is, there’s not all that much to say. We ended things quite cordially. Or rather, I accepted that things ended a few weeks ago.”
A breath tried to whoosh out of her. “And are you okay with that? How does that make you feel?”
Her words had him pulling his hand away. “Come on, Arsula. Don’t try to play psychologist on me. You may like to pretend—”
“Stop it,” she interrupted him, her tone direct. Why did he always have to toss out an insult? “I’m not trying to play psychologist, Jaden. Nor do I think I’m a counselor who can skirt the rules by not getting an impressive education like you. Nor does any of that have a single thing to do with the conversation at hand.”
She was angry again. And her voice had risen.
“I’m playing concerned friend, you blasted idiot. As well as a woman who’s now kissed you twice.”
Her admission wiped the smug look from his face.
“I feel really good about it,” he answered immediately. A nod followed his words.
“So you’re okay with where things stand?”
You’re over her?
She didn’t ask the second question out loud, nor did she let herself dwell on her announcement that their kissing played into her concern. Their physical relationship should not come into this part of the conversation.
But she also couldn’t hide from the truth. They did have a physical relationship. Whether she wanted one or not.
“I actually . . . am,” he said. “Surprisingly so. But I will admit to getting a bit angry when she showed up.”
Arsula snorted sarcastically. “You? Angry?”
“Ha ha.” He narrowed his eyes on her, and then the mood in the car shifted once again. This time to something deeper. And possibly more dangerous to her well-being. “You’re cute, you know that?”
An unsolicited smile appeared on her face. “Somebody has to be.”
“Well, you’ve mastered it.” He reached for her again, and this time he took her hand. He held it between his. “I’ve been over her for a while, actually. I just didn’t fully realize it until last night. I apparently needed to have the conversation in order to get there. But we are going to try the friends thing again. And I’m really happy about that.”
A sense of peace that she hadn’t felt before wafted from him. “I suspect Megan is happy about that, too. I know she hated the idea of losing your friendship.”
He nodded, not saying anything else, but he continued to hold her hand. His thumb began to trace circles over her skin, and Arsula got the urgent feeling that he intended to wrap the conversation back around to where they’d first started. With the kiss.
With wanting more than a kiss.
She’d done all the talking about him and her that she wanted to, though. At least for today. And to be fair, she still wasn’t at all sure she even wanted to think about whether there was—or could be—a him and her.
Therefore, she diverted his attention.
“Did I mention”—she turned back to the steering wheel and restarted the car—“that we’re also going to your dad’s because I feel very strongly that there are unresolved issues between the two of you? And that I’m upping my game to help you work through them?”
Jaden didn’t speak as Arsula made the turn into the driveway of his family home. Nor did he look at her. In fact, he hadn’t said one word—or given her one glance—since she’d driven away from the pull-off.
How dare she?
When she’d first mentioned the outing today, he’d jumped at the chance. He’d been certain this was her way to say that she was ready to talk about things. And he’d hoped the conversation would relay into her being ready to take things to the next level. Because Lord knows, he was ready.
As it turned out, though, she’d essentially been kidnapping him. Due to some harebrained idea she’d conjured up about him and his dad!
What made her actions even worse—aside from letting him get his hopes up even more before she’d dropped her little bomb on him—was that she was also convinced she had the abilities to “help him work through” whatever this mystical issue was that supposedly existed between him and his father. He had news for her, however. Reading dreams couldn’t solve the world’s problems.