Maurice Tiernay, Soldier of Fortune

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by Charles James Lever


  CHAPTER XXI. OUR ALLIES

  I have spent pleasanter, but I greatly doubt if I ever knew busier days,than those I passed at the Bishop's Palace at Killala; and now, as Ilook upon the event, I cannot help wondering that we could seriouslyhave played out a farce so full of absurdity and nonsense! There was agross mockery of all the usages of war, which, had it not been for theserious interests at stake, would have been highly amusing.

  Whether it was the important functions of civil government, the detailsof police regulation, the imposition of contributions, the appointmentof officers, or the arming of the volunteers, all was done with apretentious affectation of order that was extremely ludicrous. The veryinstitutions which were laughingly agreed to overnight, as the wine wentbriskly round, were solemnly ratified in the morning, and, still morestrange, apparently believed in by those whose ingenuity devised them;and thus the 'Irish Directory,' as we styled the imaginary government,the National Treasury, the Pension Fund, were talked of with all theseriousness of facts! As to the commissariat, to which I was for thetime attached, we never ceased writing receipts and acknowledgmentsfor stores and munitions of war, all of which were to be honourablyacquitted by the Treasury of the Irish Republic.

  No people could have better fallen in with the humour of this delusionthan the Irish. They seemed to believe everything, and yet there was areckless, headlong indifference about them, which appeared to say, thatthey were equally prepared for any turn fortune might take, and if theworst should happen, they would never reproach us for having misledthem. The real truth was--but we only learned it too late--all thosewho joined us were utterly indifferent to the great cause of Irishindependence; their thoughts never rose above a row and a pillage. Itwas to be a season of sack, plunder, and outrage, but nothing more! Thatsuch were the general sentiments of the volunteers, I believe none willdispute. We, however, in our ignorance of the people and their language,interpreted all the harum-scarum wildness we saw as the buoyanttemperament of a high-spirited nation, who, after centuries ofdegradation and ill-usage, saw the dawning of liberty at last.

  Had we possessed any real knowledge of the country, we should at oncehave seen that, of those who joined us, none were men of any influenceor station. If, now and then, a man of any name strayed into the camp,he was sure to be one whose misconduct or bad character had drivenhim from associating with his equals; and, even of the peasantry, ourfollowers were of the very lowest order. Whether General Humbert wasthe first to notice the fact, I know not; but Charost, I am certain,remarked it, and even thus early predicted the utter failure of theexpedition.

  I must confess the volunteers were the least imposing of allies. I thinkI have the whole scene before my eyes this moment, as I saw it eachmorning in the palace garden.

  The inclosure, which, more orchard than garden, occupied a space of acouple of acres, was the headquarters of Colonel Charost; and here, ina pavilion formerly dedicated to hoes, rakes, rolling-stones, andgarden-tools, we were now established to the number of fourteen. As thespace beneath the roof was barely sufficient for the colonel's personaluse, the officers of his staff occupied convenient spots in thevicinity. My station was under a large damson-tree, the fruit of whichafforded me, more than once, the only meal I tasted from early morningtill late at night; not, I must say, from any lack of provisions, forthe palace abounded with every requisite of the table, but that, suchwas the pressure of business, we were not able to leave off work evenfor half an hour during the day.

  A subaltern's guard of grenadiers, divided into small parties, did dutyin the garden; and it was striking to mark the contrast between thesebronzed and war-worn figures, and the reckless tatterdemalion hostaround us. Never was seen such a scarecrow set! Wild-looking, raggedwretches, their long lank hair hanging down their necks and shoulders,usually barefooted, and with every sign of starvation in their features;they stood in groups and knots, gesticulating, screaming, hurrahing, andsinging, in all the exuberance of a joy that caught some, at least, ofits inspiration from whisky.

  It was utterly vain to attempt to keep order amongst them; even theeffort to make them defile singly through the gate into the garden wassoon found impracticable, without the employment of a degree of forcethat our adviser, Kerrigan, pronounced would be injudicious. Not onlythe men made their way in, but great numbers of women, and even childrenalso; and there they were, seated around fires, roasting their potatoesin this bivouac fashion, as though they had deserted hearth and home tofollow us.

  Such was the avidity to get arms--of which the distribution wasannounced to take place here--that several had scaled the wall in theirimpatience, and as they were more or less in drink, some disastrousaccidents were momentarily occurring, adding the cries and exclamationsof suffering to the ruder chorus of joy and revelry that went onunceasingly.

  The impression--we soon saw how absurd it was--the impression thatwe should do nothing that might hurt the national sensibilities, butconcede all to the exuberant ardour of a bold people, eager to be ledagainst their enemies, induced us to submit to every imaginable breachof order and discipline.

  'In a day or two, they 'll he like your own men; you 'll not know themfrom a battalion of the line. Those fellows will be like a wall underfire.'

  Such and such like were the assurances we were listening to all day,and it would have been like treason to the cause to have refused themcredence.

  Perhaps I might have been longer a believer in this theory, had I notperceived signs of a deceptive character in these our worthy allies;many who, to our faces, wore nothing but looks of gratitude and delight,no sooner mixed with their fellows than their downcast faces and doggedexpression betrayed some inward sense of disappointment.

  One very general source of dissatisfaction arose from the discovery,that we were not prepared to pay our allies! We had simply come to armand lead them, to shed our own blood, and pledge our fortunes in theircause; but we certainly had brought no military chest to bribe theirpatriotism, nor stimulate their nationality; and this I soon saw was agrievous disappointment.

  In virtue of this shameful omission on our part, they deemed theonly resource was to be made officers, and thus crowds of uneducated,semi-civilised vagabonds were every hour assailing us with their claimsto the epaulette. Of the whole number of these, I remember but three whohad ever served at all; two were notorious drunkards, and the thirda confirmed madman, from a scalp wound he had received when fightingagainst the Turks. Many, however, boasted high-sounding names, and were,at least so Kerrigan said, men of the first families in the land.

  Our general-in-chief saw little of them while at Killala, his principalintercourse being with the bishop and his family; but Colonel Charostsoon learned to read their true character, and from that momentconceived the most disastrous issue to our plans. The most trustworthyof them was a certain O'Donnell, who, although not a soldier, wasremarked to possess a greater influence over the rabble volunteersthan any of the others. He was a young man of the half-squire class, anardent and sincere patriot, after his fashion; but that fashion, it mustbe owned, rather partook of the character of class-hatred andreligious animosity than the features of a great struggle for nationalindependence. He took a very low estimate of the fighting qualities ofhis countrymen, and made no secret of declaring it.

  'You would be better without them altogether,' said he one day toCharost; 'but if you must have allies, draw them up in line, selectone-third of the best, and arm them.'

  'And the rest?' asked Charost. 'Shoot them,' was the answer.

  This conversation is on record--indeed, I believe there is yet onewitness living to corroborate it.

  I have said that we were very hard worked, but I must fain acknowledgethat the real amount of business done was very insignificant, so manywere the mistakes, misconceptions, and interruptions, not to speak ofthe time lost by that system of conciliation of which I have alreadymade mention. In our distribution of arms there was little selectionpractised or possible. The process was a brief one, but it mi
ght havebeen briefer.

  Thomas Colooney, of Banmayroo, was called, and not usually beingpresent, the name would be passed on, from post to post, till it swelledinto a general shout of Colooney.

  'Tom Colooney, you're wanted; Tom, run for it, man, there's a price bidfor you! Here's Mickey, his brother, maybe he 'll do as well.'

  And so on: all this accompanied by shouts of laughter, and a runningfire of jokes, which, being in the vernacular, was lost to us.

  At last the real Colooney was found, maybe eating his dinner ofpotatoes, maybe discussing his poteen with a friend---sometimes engagedin the domestic duties of washing his shirt or his small-clothes,fitting a new crown to his hat, or a sole to his brogues--whatever hisoccupation, he was urged forward by his friends and the public, withmany a push, drive, and even a kick, into our presence, where, from theturmoil, uproar, and confusion, he appeared to have fought his way bymain force, and very often, indeed, this was literally the fact, as hisbleeding nose, torn coat, and bare head attested.

  'Thomas Colooney--are you the man?' asked one of our Irish officers ofthe staff.

  'Yis, yer honour, I 'm that same!'

  'You've come here, Colooney, to offer yourself as a volunteer in thecause of your country?'

  Here a yell of 'Ireland for ever!' was always raised by the bystanders,which drowned the reply in its enthusiasm, and the examination wenton:--

  'You'll be true and faithful to that cause till you secure for yourcountry the freedom of America and the happiness of France? Kiss thecross. Are you used to firearms?'

  'Isn't he?--maybe not! I'll be bound he knows a musket from a mealypratie!'

  Such and such like were the comments that rang on all sides, so that themodest 'Yis, sir,' of the patriot was completely lost.

  'Load that gun, Tom,' said the officer.

  Here Colooney, deeming that so simple a request must necessarily be onlya cover for something underhand--a little clever surprise or so--takesup the piece in a very gingerly manner, and examines it all round,noticing that there is nothing, so far as he can discover, unusual noruncommon about it.

  'Load that gun, I say.'

  Sharper and more angrily is the command given this time.

  'Yis, sir, immadiately.'

  And now Tom tries the barrel with the ramrod, lest there should bealready a charge there--a piece of forethought that is sure to be loudlyapplauded by the public, not the less so because the impatience of theFrench officers is making itself manifest in various ways.

  At length he rams down the cartridge, and returns the ramrod; whichpiece of adroitness, if done with a certain air of display and flourish,is unfailingly saluted by another cheer. He now primes and cocks thepiece, and assumes a look of what he believes to be most soldierlikeseverity.

  As he stands thus for scrutiny, a rather lively debate gets up as towhether or not Tom bit off the end of the cartridge before he rammed itdown. The biters and anti-biters being equally divided, the discussionwaxes strong. The French officers, eagerly asking what may be thedisputed point, laugh very heartily on hearing it.

  'I'll lay ye a pint of sperits she won't go off,' cries one.

  'Done! for two naggins, if he pulls strong,' rejoins another.

  'Devil fear the same gun,' cries a third; 'she shot Mr. Sloan at fiftypaces, and killed him dead.'

  'Tisn't the same gun--that's a Frinch one--a bran-new one!'

  'She isn't.'

  'She is.'

  'No, she isn't.'

  'Yes, but she is.' 'What is't you say?' 'Hould your prate.'

  'Arrah, teach your mother to feed ducks.'

  'Silence in the ranks. Keep silence there. Attention, Colooney!'

  'Yis, sir.'

  'Fire!'

  'What at, sir?' asks Tom, taking an amateur glance of the company, wholook not over satisfied at his scrutiny.

  'Fire in the air!'

  260]

  Bang goes the piece, and a yell follows the explosion, while cries of'Well done, Tom,' 'Begorra, if a Protestant got that!' and so on, greetthe performance.

  'Stand by, Colooney!' and the volunteer falls back to make way foranother and similar exhibition, occasionally varied by the humour of theblunders of the new candidate.

  As to the Treasury orders, as we somewhat ludicrously styled the chequesupon our imaginary bank, the scenes they led to were still more absurdand complicated. We paid liberally, that is to say in promises, foreverything, and our generosity saved us a good deal of time, for it wasastonishing how little the owners disputed our solvency when the pricewas left to themselves. But the rations were indeed the most difficultmatter of all; it being impossible to convince our allies of the factthat the compact was one of trust, and the ration was not his own todispose of in any manner that might seem fit.

  'Sure, if I don't like to ate it--if I haven't an appetite for it--ifI'd rather have a pint of sperits, or a flannel waistcoat, or a pair ofstockings, than a piece of mate, what harm is that to any one?'

  This process of reasoning was much harder of answer than is usuallysupposed, and even when replied to, another difficulty arose in itsplace. Unaccustomed to flesh diet, when they tasted they could notrefrain from it, and the whole week's rations of beef, amounting toeight pounds, were frequently consumed in the first twenty-four hours.

  Such instances of gormandising were by no means unfrequent, and,stranger still, in no one case, so far as I knew, followed by any illconsequences.

  The leaders were still more difficult to manage than the people. Withoutmilitary knowledge or experience of any kind, they presumed to dictatethe plan of a campaign to old and distinguished officers like Humbertand Serasin, and when overruled by argument or ridicule, invariably fellback upon their superior knowledge of Ireland and her people, a defencefor which, of course, we were quite unprepared, and unable to opposeanything. From these and similar causes it may well be believed thatour labours were not light, and yet somehow, with all the vexations anddifficulties around us, there was a congenial tone of levity, an easyrecklessness, and a careless freedom in the Irish character that suitedus well There was but one single point whereupon we were not thoroughlytogether, and this was religion. They were a nation of most zealousCatholics; and as for us, the revolution had not left the vestige of abelief amongst us.

  A reconnaissance in Ballina, meant rather to discover the strengthof the garrison than of the place itself, having shown that the royalforces were inconsiderable in number, and mostly militia, GeneralHumbert moved forward, on Sunday morning the 26th, with nine hundred menof our own force, and about three thousand 'volunteers,' leaving ColonelCharost and his staff, with two companies of foot, at Killala, toprotect the town, and organise the new levies as they were formed.

  We saw our companions defile from the town with heavy hearts. The smallbody of real soldiers seemed even smaller still from being envelopedby that mass of peasants who accompanied them, and who marched on theflanks or in the rear, promiscuously, without discipline or order--anoisy, half-drunken rabble, firing off their muskets at random, andyelling as they went, in savage glee and exultation. Our sole comfortwas in the belief, that, when the hour of combat did arrive, they wouldfight to the very last. Such were the assurances of their own officers,and made so seriously and confidently, that we never thought ofmistrusting them.

  'If they be but steady under fire,' said Charost, 'a month will makethem good soldiers. Ours is an easy drill, and soon learned; but I own,'he added, 'they do not give me this impression.'

  Such was the reflection of one who watched them as they went past, andwith sorrow we saw ourselves concurring in the sentiment.

 

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