by Natalie Ann
Twenty minutes later, dinner was in the oven, potatoes in water on the stovetop, and he was pulling Isabel over to the couch.
“I like your tree,” she said, giggling.
It was a little pop-up tree sitting on his coffee table. “It couldn’t be Christmas without a tree. Even one as ugly as this.”
“It’s not ugly. It’s just…unique.”
“That’s a good word for it. Here,” he said, handing her the box that was under it. She took it out of his hands and put it on her lap. “Open it.”
“I have to get yours first,” she said. “It’s in my car.”
“You didn’t have to get me anything. Dinner is more than enough.”
“Of course I had to get you something. But I couldn’t carry it with everything else. Let me go get it right now.”
“It can wait. Go ahead and open this.”
He’d never bought a gift for a woman at Christmas other than his grandmother. He wasn’t sure what to get. Jewelry didn’t seem right, and it’s not like he could afford it right now anyway. But she liked pretty things. She was always so put-together. Feminine sweaters and skirts, boots and shoes. He very rarely saw her in jeans or pants. Then again, she normally came over right after work, but still, she always looked so classy to him.
“If you insist,” she said. She ripped the paper off fast and lifted the lid, then pushed the tissue paper away. “Oh, William, it’s beautiful.” She pulled the scarf out of the box, a light peach color, and held it to her cheek, rubbing it up and down. “It’s silk. You really shouldn’t have. This had to cost a fortune.”
“I wanted to give you something pretty. Frilly, even. You always look so nice and I thought maybe you could wear this to school now and again and think of me.”
She gave him a big hug. “I love it. I’m going to wear it the first day back. But I didn’t need this to think of you while I’m working. I do that all the time as it is.”
His heart started to race with those words. He was slowly falling for her and was wondering if he should pull back. If he should guard his heart from this.
She jumped up quickly and said, “I’ll be right back,” then ran out his door without even putting her jacket on. She was back in less than a minute. “Here you go.” He grabbed the big box she thrust at him. “Go on, open it. I hope you like it.”
He’d love anything she got him. He tore the paper away and pulled the top off the box to find a briefcase inside. A leather one. “Talk about going overboard, Isabel. You shouldn’t have.”
“Now you’ve got a nice case to carry all your important papers in when you go on your client meetings.”
It sure beat the old hand-me-down case he’d been using lately. “I don’t know what to say,” he said. And that guard around his heart just started to crack.
“You say thank you.”
***
After dinner was eaten and cleaned up and Isabel was on her second glass of wine, she said, “Let’s go sit on the couch.”
“Do you want to watch TV? I don’t know what’s on,” he said.
“No. I don’t want to watch TV.”
She’d been working herself up to this for a week now. Today just pushed her over the edge. She was twenty-two years old and she was ready to feel like a woman. She was ready to not always be the good girl that followed all the rules. She wanted to be wild for once. She wanted to have fun. And she wanted to take that step with the one guy that made her feel like she could be reckless and not have a care in the world, because he’d stand right next to her the whole way and hold her hand.
“Then what do you want to do?” he asked.
She set her glass of wine down on the coffee table and climbed onto his lap, ignoring his shocked face. She grabbed his cheeks with her hands and started to kiss him, gentle pecks on the lips, then deeper yet when his arms came around her.
He always just went so far and then stopped, and if she had her way there would be no stopping tonight.
“I want you to keep kissing me tonight. I want you to touch me. And I want you to do whatever you want to do with me tonight.”
He leaned back quickly. “I don’t know,” he said.
That was a nice blow to her ego. “Why is that?” Her hand was running up his chest and since she was sitting on his lap, she could feel the effect she was having on him in other places.
“I don’t want you to feel pressured.”
“I believe I’m the one that climbed onto your lap, not the other way around. But if you want to switch places, we can.”
He let out a shaky laugh. “This is good the way it is.”
“Then will you?” she asked.
“Are you asking me if we can fool around more tonight?”
“Yes. I’m asking you to make love with me,” she said, looking straight into his eyes.
He gulped. “Are you a virgin?” he asked. She could see some sweat on his brow and thought it was funny.
“I am. Are you?” she asked, grinning, pretty sure she knew the answer.
“No. Is that a problem for you?” he asked.
“I didn’t think you were one, so the answer is no. Is it a problem that I’m one?”
“No,” he said.
“Then why do you look so nervous?” She was pulling his shirt out of his pants, eager to touch his skin.
“I don’t want to hurt you.”
“Then don’t. I’m not talking about physical pain, William.”
He held her stare, cupped her chin in his hand, and said, “That’s all I’m worried about. I won’t hurt you any other way, but the first time…”
“Then what do you say we just get past it and not worry about it after this?”
“Why didn’t I know you were going to be this bold?”
“It’s been there all along. I’m not sure why you’re just realizing it. But I’m sick of waiting for you to make the first move. Again. So now we can give each other one more Christmas gift.”
He gently pushed her off his lap, then stood and pulled her to her feet. “If you’re sure?”
“I’m positive. Make me feel like a woman tonight, William.”
“Hang on,” he said, then walked away from her. She had no clue what he could be doing in the bathroom, but he came back out and laid a condom on the coffee table. She was guessing that was answer enough and now her heart was racing for so many reasons. Excitement, fear, hope, and maybe even love.
“Let me open the bed up,” he said. “I’m sorry I don’t have something nicer to offer you for your first time.”
“I don’t care about those things. Don’t you realize that by now?”
“I do. It doesn’t make me feel any less bad about it, though,” he said.
She helped him open up the sofa bed and make it. Then he pulled her into his arms and started to kiss all her fears away. All the nerves about tonight. About the unknown and the uncertainty.
It was him. She knew it now. She’d known it all along. He was going to be her first. And maybe he’d be her last. But she wouldn’t dare say that to him now.
Her sweater was lifted up over her head, then tossed on the chair. Her skirt followed. Then she rolled her tights off and was left standing there in her bra and panties. “I think it’s only fair you get down to your underwear, too,” she said, tugging his shirt over his head.
He was built exactly as she had hoped for. As she had been dreaming all along. Long, lean torso, just a sprinkling of hair on his chest. His arms nice and toned, his waist thin and tapered. She reached for the button on his jeans and had them sliding down just as fast. He’d been joking when he said his pants were getting tighter because he didn’t look to have an ounce of fat on him.
He nudged her onto the bed, then came down on top of her and the feeling of his body on hers, the weight and the heat of him, was everything she’d dreamed of.
Wasting no time, he kissed her deeply as his hands unclasped her bra and slid it off of her. His mouth moved from her lips to her breasts in a h
urry. “You’re just beautiful,” he said, then pulled her pebbled nipple into his mouth, latching right onto it.
She had no words. Nothing was escaping her lips. Her hips bucked up, just an automatic motion to have more contact with him. Anything she could.
He switched sides and did the same, her body now quivering under him. “William. I didn’t know it would feel this good.”
“You don’t know the half of it,” he mumbled, then moved down her body, kissing her ribs, her waist, her hips, and then sliding her panties off. She imagined she’d be uncomfortable, but she wasn’t. Instead she was just plain hot. Heating up and ready to boil over.
She expected him to get the condom and put it on; what she didn’t expect was him to move lower and start to taste her there. Her hips had no choice but to move up now, closer to what he was doing, closer to an unknown peak she was climbing.
She’d thought she’d be embarrassed over this. She’d known about it. Dawn talked about sex all the time, but she didn’t do it justice in her explanations. How could she have known it would feel this good?
Her hands went into his hair, holding him right there. Whatever he was doing, she didn’t want him to move from that spot. She was building, she was climbing, and she was getting ready to start screeching.
“William,” she said, her voice rising.
“That’s it,” he said, sliding a finger inside of her. It was tight, but it felt so good. Too good and when he put his mouth back on her, she had no choice but to take a leap and free fall all the way down to the bottom, her body quivering and shaking and relaxing all at once.
When he shifted away from her a minute later, she wanted to yank him back. Feel the heat of his body against hers again, feel his mouth on hers, but she had no strength to do anything other than lie there.
But he did return, and when he did she started to feel some pressure down below. “Are you ready for this?” he asked. “We can still stop if you want.”
“No way,” she said. “I’ve come this far and I’m not stopping.”
“Good. I’m glad,” he said, then kissed her again as he started to ease into her. Everything was slick, but tight. Little movements caused more pressure, but he was just prolonging it, taking his time, and she was wondering why.
She opened her eyes and saw he was sweating now and decided to put them both out of their misery because he’d just shown her how good it could be and she was determined to bring him there, too.
Before he knew what she was doing, before she could think of her actions, she grabbed his hips in her hands, and lifted up hard and swift, embedding him inside of her. She let out a gasp and then a sigh. The pain was there and then gone. In its place was a fullness that was making her climb again.
“Why did you do that?” he asked, his voice sounding like he was in pain. Sounding tense.
“Just shut up and make love to me,” she said. She opened her eyes and saw his stunned expression, then burst out laughing. “Sorry. You’re ruining the moment here.” She lifted up and then back, heard his groan, and knew she let out a matching one.
He kissed her softly once more, then kissed her hard and deep and proceeded to show her what all those dreams she’d had were made of.
A Bit Personal
The following week, Isabel hurried into the cafe and saw her mother sitting at a booth. “I hope you weren’t waiting long.”
Her mother stood up and came forward to give her a hug. Her mother had always been a hugger and she never tired of it. Probably because she was the same way. “No. I just got here. Take your coat off and relax.”
Isabel took her long wool coat off and placed it next to her in the booth, then slid in and grabbed the menu to look, knowing her mother would have made her selection already. “What a beautiful scarf, Isabel.”
She lowered the menu and reached up to finger the cool silky smooth material. “Thank you. It was a gift from William. It’s the first I’ve worn it.”
“He must know you well to get you something like that. You’ve always prided yourself on your appearance and looking so put-together.”
Isabel smiled. “I take after my mother. But yes, he knows me very well.”
The last few days she’d spent cooking dinner for William, then rushing home to sleep a few hours at her own apartment. Last night she didn’t go home at all, then fell back to sleep after William left for work this morning. By the time she woke up and looked at the clock, she’d barely made it back to her apartment to shower and change before driving here.
“You really like this boy, don’t you?”
“He’s not a boy, Mom.”
“This man,” her mother corrected.
“I do. He’s everything I’d hoped to find someday.”
Her mother smiled back at her, reached her hand over and then lay it on hers and asked quietly, “Have you slept with him yet?”
“Mom!” Her mother had always been secretly blunt, just never around her father. Another trait she’d obviously inherited. “That’s a bit personal.”
“It is. And you don’t have to answer that. I was just curious.”
Isabel wanted to tell someone. Dawn knew, but Dawn was as loose as the day was long, so Isabel didn’t feel right talking to her too much. To Dawn, it was sex. To Isabel, it was making love.
“I have. Are you disappointed in me?”
Her mother patted her hand. “I would have wished you’d waited for marriage, but you’ve always known what you wanted and gone after it. Like you keep telling me, you’re an adult and can make your own decisions. Do you love him?”
“Absolutely.”
“That is all that matters right now. Does he love you back?” her mother asked.
“I think so.”
She didn’t want to tell her mother that she had doubts. They hadn’t talked about love just yet. But it was the little things William did for her. Sprucing his apartment up to make it homier. Taking her out for a nice dinner a few nights ago so she could have a break from cooking for him. Making her eggs in the morning—even if they were a bit dry, she still ate them with a smile on her face. Just holding her at night and talking about his day. Confiding in her about his worries and stresses.
She’d never expected that from a man before. Her father never talked to her mother about anything other than small family concerns, or event planning. They never shared anything important.
Not William. They talked about everything imaginable. There were no secrets that she knew of between them. That had to mean something. It had to mean it was love for him too, right?
“But he hasn’t said it to you?” her mother asked.
“I haven’t said it to him either,” she argued.
They placed their orders after the waitress came over and her mother seemed to get quiet for a second, then blurted out. “Your father is still not saying a word about your relationship to me. The subject hasn’t been broached at all.”
The silent-but-unbreakable wall of Edward Carmichael. It’d been built up plenty in her life and never could be torn down by either her or her mother. Not anyone, unless her father was ready.
“I didn’t expect he would. We know he barely speaks what he is actually feeling. Just tells us what to do.”
Her mother sighed. “I know. I know it’s not a relationship you will ever be in and I wouldn’t want that for you.”
“How can you do it?” Isabel knew it wasn’t uncommon, but she just didn’t want that for herself.
“Times were different back then. Women didn’t always work. They don’t always work now, you know that.”
“I know. But I’m glad to know more women want to stand on their own. They want to have something in their lives other than caring for their husbands or raising children.”
“You never used to feel that way before,” her mother said. “You’ve always wanted a family and kids.”
“And I still do. But I want more. Why can’t I have both? Why can’t I support myself, have a career I love, a man I l
ove, and a family to take care of? One to take care of me, too. That’s why I wanted to be a teacher. It would give me time to do it all.”
She’d thought her mother understood, but maybe she didn’t. “I get it, Isabel. I really do. But you need to know, until your father knows more about this man, he isn’t going to give his approval.”
Isabel snorted. “I don’t need his approval. Did he think he was going to hand select a spouse for me?” When her mother didn’t answer right away, she said, “He did, didn’t he?”
“I don’t know. I’m sure he would have liked to have a say. But we aren’t talking about marriage right now, either.”
“No. We’re talking about my life. My future. And Dad has no say at all,” Isabel said firmly.
***
A few weeks later, William was pulling into the driveway of Thomas Mathews’s house. “So Michele is a teacher, too?” Isabel asked him.
“Yes. Elementary school, I believe. I don’t remember what grade. You seem nervous…why?”
She’d never been nervous before when meeting new people. She had interactions with parents all the time. She was good with names and faces, and knew what to say and when. William had been talking about Thomas more lately. The two men had gone out for a few drinks when Isabel had school functions at night. He and Thomas were getting close, and Thomas thought it’d be nice if William brought her over to meet his wife. And now she found she wasn’t so sure of herself for some reason.
“I’m not really nervous. I just know you seem to be getting along great with Thomas and I want to make a good impression.”
“You always make a great impression. This is the first time I’m meeting Michele, too. All I know is that they’ve been married for over two years and they’ve got one son, Lucas, who’s around one. He said Michele doesn’t like to leave Lucas with a babysitter just yet, which is why they offered their place for tonight.”