Bullied

by Vera Hollins

  I screamed, frightened, not believing what I was seeing. He couldn’t be doing this!

  “What are you doing?!” I rushed toward him and grasped his arm to separate him from the blinds, but he snatched it out of my hold and pushed me away.

  “I’m finishing something I should’ve done a long time ago.”

  I stared at the pile of broken blinds on the floor, feeling like my legs were going to betray me any moment. Tears formed in my eyes, so close to spilling out.

  “Why did you do this?” I couldn’t stop my voice from being whiny. Those blinds kept me hidden from him. They made me feel safe. Now, they were gone.

  He moved to the door, ready to leave. He faced me one last time, shaking in rage. “You can never hide from me. Put up the blinds again, and I’ll come back and completely fuck your shit up.”

  Chapter 23

  “I ’LL KILL YOU,” HAYDEN said to me, hovering above me on my bed. My room was in total darkness, but I could see his fierce eyes staring into me, reaching my soul and trapping me.

  “Hayden, don’t do this.”

  “I will, and I will enjoy every single second...” He pressed his lips against mine, taking me by surprise. His tantalizing kiss made me hungry for more, unleashing my long-denied feelings. I stopped resisting and responded to him, melting inside when our tongues met. His hands moved all over me, drowning me in these addictive sensations that only made me want more. Much more.

  I felt like I was going to burst from happiness... My Hayden...

  I winced and tried focusing on Jonathan and Adelaine’s game of chess, but I had a hard time paying attention because my thoughts kept rushing back to the dream I had this morning. My chest constricted at the thought of Hayden’s lips and hands on me, which awoke something deep inside of me that had been suppressed for so long...

  I felt ashamed for having such dream. I stopped dreaming about kissing him a long time ago, but something changed after Wednesday night, and I was unable to stop thinking about his kisses or his behavior. I hated that I was allowing him to affect me like this.

  I could brush off his first kiss at the cemetery as a prank, but why did he kiss me in my room? Why was he kissing me like this, leaving nothing but the thirst for more?

  After that fiasco, I decided to work on our project outline alone, hoping to be able to finish it on my own. It was above my head since I knew little about website building, but I was done begging Hayden to cooperate and use his programming skills to help. I had only six days left before the deadline for the outline, and I’d already wasted a lot of time.

  I got a call from the police last night, and they told me they had found out that the number behind those messages was no longer in use. The burner phone was located in some trash can, so the investigation reached a dead-end. He advised me to report anything suspicious to them in the future and to take care.

  I couldn’t believe this person used a disposable phone to harass me. I was edgy because of this whole situation, and I couldn’t know if this was something I should really worry about or if someone only went above and beyond to scare me.

  “Do you even listen to me, young girl?” I flinched, meeting Jonathan’s piercing stare.

  “Oh, I’m sorry. I was just thinking about something.”

  “Look at her. She is always so cute when she blushes,” Adelaine cooed. Ugh. Why did she have to point it out?

  “You look distracted. What’s wrong?” Jonathan furrowed his brows in worry, and something melted in me because he cared enough to ask.

  I couldn’t tell him about the threats or the weird behavior of my bully. “I’m thinking about tonight’s party. I’m so nervous.”

  That wasn’t exactly a lie, because I was nervous. Melissa and I had agreed to dress up in the retirement home after work, and I admitted I had no clothes suitable for parties. I never needed those, so there was no point in buying them. She assured me she had the right clothes for me and would bring them with her.

  I tried to tell her I didn’t think her style matched mine, not wanting to wear some patterned red skirt and black boots, but she told me not to worry about anything and that she would also do my makeup, which only increased my worry.

  I didn’t want her to dress me up or do my makeup. Melissa liked to wear lots of makeup, so I would probably look like a vamp queen. Either way, I didn’t want to risk it, so I brought my most favorite pair of jeans and a plain, black shirt. That way I wouldn’t attract any unnecessary attention.

  “Is there anything special about this party?” Adelaine asked. “Maybe some boy?” She wiggled her eyebrows at Jonathan. I didn’t need to respond to this, because a new wave of blush on my cheeks spoke more than enough.

  Mateo was going to be there, and I was a bit nervous because of him. If he really liked me, and Melissa was one hundred percent sure he did, it could mean we could kiss tonight. Just the thought itself awoke flutters in my belly.

  “This is my first party after a long time,” I told them. “I don’t go to parties.”

  She gasped. “Really? But why? You’re such a gorgeous young girl and you should be living your life! You should enjoy your youth and have fun while you can, because when you grow up, you’re going to regret not using your chances.”

  Grown ups always talked like this. Live your life because you live it only once . I got that, I really did, but it wasn’t easy to live life to the fullest when you were poor, bullied, and had no way of getting people’s affection.

  “Yes, I’m aware of that, but I didn’t have friends I could party with.”

  Her expression turned sympathetic. “That’s just sad.” Yeah, tell me about it. “But why?”

  “I don’t get along with people.”

  Jonathan was observing me silently, listening to Adelaine and me. He looked unsatisfied. I avoided his gaze, but then he said, “Every person can get along with people. You just didn’t find the right people for you.”

  “T-That’s not true!” I stammered in embarrassment. “Everyone hates me, and I’m sure there must be something wrong with me—”

  “Stop making yourself a victim.” Jonathan was as harsh as ever. “No one can be friends with everyone. That is impossible because we are all different, which is completely natural. What matters is that you find someone who is right for you. Someone you can be yourself with.”

  I gaped at him, incapable of forming words.

  “Don’t let yourself fall into despair. When the right time comes, you’ll find people who will accept you for who you are. Just because you didn’t find them in one tiny place on this planet, doesn’t mean they don’t exist at all.”

  My chest tightened with elation because he was right. It wasn’t quite true that I couldn’t get along with people. I had Jessica, and I had to believe that what we had was a real friendship. I had to believe she wouldn’t run away from me or betray me.

  I’d had Kayden. I had that sweet soul, who for some reason decided I was the right person to be his best friend. If I never had another friend for the rest of my life, at least I’d had Kayden who truly loved me.

  Jonathan’s words were on the mark. Making myself a victim was the worst thing I could do. That would never empower me. That would only make me weaker and throw me into a deeper ignorance.

  “You’re right,” I told him with the full respect I felt for him right now.

  “I know I’m right. Do you think I’m throwing my wisdom around here just to spend some words? I don’t think so.”

  Adelaine giggled like a little girl at his impudence, but for the first time I wasn’t offended by his blunt remark at all, because I finally understood who Jonathan was. Unlike those bad people who were wrapped in pretty packages that hid their true natures, Jonathan was crude and brusque, but he always told the truth. He wanted to help me in his own unconventional way, but it was a help nevertheless.

  AFTER WORK, MELISSA took me to the restroom and put her makeup on my face, or “did her magic,” as she called it. She worked quick
ly and let me take a look in the mirror only when she finished.

  I couldn’t look away from my reflection. My now-striking eyes were contoured with a black eye pencil and a bit of black eye shadow. The blush on my cheeks accentuated my cheeks and jaw, and I had a beige lipstick on my lips, which matched my fair complexion. I batted my eyelashes a few times, admiring what I saw. I looked very pretty.

  Melissa took black jeans and a gray slim fit top out of her bag. The front part of the top was covered with gray lace, which looked cute, but it was something I wouldn’t usually dare to wear. Once more, I tried to refuse her because I felt uncomfortable accepting her clothes, and I didn’t feel confident enough to wear them, but she didn’t change her mind in the slightest, convincing me to wear them eventually.

  I put on my black ballerina pumps and followed Melissa out of the retirement home. She was wearing tight black pants that were ripped on the front and a shirt with a guitar imprint that hung loose on her hips. Her makeup was heavy, unlike mine, but it suited her well.

  She drove us to Jessica’s house to pick her up.

  “I can’t wait to see Mateo’s reaction when he sees you! He’ll totally fall for you even more,” she said excitedly.

  I gnawed at my lip, extremely keyed up. If everything went well, Mateo and I would kiss and maybe get together? I had a hard time imagining hooking up with someone this very evening. That would be my first time, and I was absolutely terrified.

  What if I did something weird? What if I got so confused that I actually embarrassed myself in front of him? What if—

  “Right. I forgot to tell you,” Melissa interrupted my erratic thoughts. “There will be some students from your school too.” I looked at her in horror, my heart picking up its pace rapidly.

  “What?” I croaked.

  “Yeah. Maybe you’ll recognize some of them.” No.

  No, no, no.

  She formed a gigantic smile. “Tonight will be so fun.”

  Chapter 24

  I SPENT THE REST OF our trip twisting my hands and fighting my anxiety. I couldn’t go to a party where I could see my classmates. All excitement had left me, and I felt like the tension would swallow me whole any moment. I had to take deep breaths in order not to have an anxiety attack.

  What if Hayden was there? What were the possibilities of that happening?

  Oh, who was I kidding? Melissa had already said her brother was friends with someone from our school. On top of that, Steven participated in fights just like Hayden.

  No. Hayden mustn’t be there tonight. He mustn’t.

  We picked Jessica up, who was wearing a gorgeous, flowery fit and flare dress that went to her knees and revealed her arms. She combined it with a red satin jacket and red ballerina pumps. Her long hair was curled and her face had a bit of makeup, but wearing makeup or not, she looked absolutely beautiful.

  “You two are so going to make boys drool all over you,” Melissa squealed.

  “You think?” Jessica asked from the back seat.

  “Absolutely.”

  I tried to relax, listening to Melissa chirp about many things, but I couldn’t, especially when her house came into view. My jaw dropped because it was enormous. It had two garages and two long driveways that were filled with too many cars. I observed the parked vehicles to find any familiar ones, but it was dark and there were so many of them, so I couldn’t find what I was looking for.

  Melissa parked at the end of a long line of cars, and we got out, welcomed by the bass of the loud music coming from the house. Some people were sitting on the porch, already littering it with the plastic cups and cigarette butts. Jessica and Melissa looked equally excited, so I willed myself to relax and enjoy the night.

  Come on. Her house is huge and there are a lot of people inside. You won’t even see them, Sarah!

  The blaring music assaulted my ears when Melissa opened the front door, eliminating any possibility of talking. We entered the dim hallway, which contained lots of smoke, and Melissa leaned to me to tell me something.

  “What?!” I yelled, not hearing a word she’d said.

  “I said I’ll introduce you to my brother!”

  “Ah! Okay!”

  She took Jessica and me by the hand and guided us through the sea of sweaty bodies that moved to the rhythm of a popular pop song. I grinned at the sight of a gay couple kissing next to the staircase, who didn’t take their hands off each other. Slowly, nervousness disappeared and thrill took its place, but then I realized I forgot my bag and my phone in Melissa’s car. Just great.

  I had to go and get my phone at some point later, but for now I would go with the flow.

  Melissa led us to her gigantic living room, dimly lit like the hallway and furnished with expensive-looking pieces. It was crowded with people, many of them dancing or drinking, and this atmosphere gave me the feeling that everything was possible. At the moment, I wasn’t that loner Sarah who couldn’t hang out with other people and have some fun. Anything could happen tonight, and I loved the anticipation.

  Melissa drew one tall guy away from the group of his friends. “Girls, meet my brother Steven. Steven, this is Sarah and Jessica.”

  I had to raise my head in order to meet his eyes. He was really tall, probably around 6’5”. He gave off a bad vibe and a terrible smell; his face looked unhealthy because it was puffy and sallow, at odds with his too muscular physique. My skin crawled because of the way his blue eyes with dilated pupils looked at me.

  “Nice to meet you,” he slurred, not taking his eyes off of me.

  It dawned on me why his gaze seemed strange. It was because he was stoned. I glanced at Melissa, and she shrugged her shoulders, uncomfortable about it. Somehow, I was glad that he didn’t offer a handshake because I didn’t want to come in contact with him.

  “What would you like to drink?” he asked us, looming over me in a strange way. “We have everything, so you can pick anything you want.”

  I wasn’t sure what I should say. I drank alcohol only a few times before, but I didn’t know what I could drink now. Besides, I felt like I shouldn’t take anything from Steven. He came across as one of those guys who could put anything in my drink, and I didn’t want to take any risks at some stranger’s party.

  “I’ll pour us the punch,” Melissa said, pulling Jessica and me by the hands to the table with the punch. “Sorry. I didn’t expect him to be so wasted already. That jerk. But don’t worry about the punch. It’s alcoholic, but it isn’t laced with any drugs.”

  She handed us our drinks, and we tapped our cups together, saying cheers. The punch tasted unusually sweet, without the bite I expected. Just as she filled our cups again, I decided that this party was not so bad.

  I wasn’t used to alcohol, so several cups of punch later, I was already three sheets to the wind, all hyperactive and happy. When Melissa pulled us to dance, I didn’t even hesitate, my body following the beat of the music. There were so many people around us, but I didn’t care. I didn’t care if they were going to find my dancing strange or think there was something wrong with me...

  I don’t care, and it’s absolutely amazing.

  We kept dancing, laughing at each other. I could unleash the wild energy that was locked inside of me all the time, and I felt free. I could do anything I wanted. Anything is possible.

  Mateo. I couldn’t wait for Mateo to come, and for the first time I didn’t want to think about the consequences of my actions. Even if I got just one evening with Mateo, it was enough. It was more than I ever had.

  As the tempo of the music sped up, Melissa grabbed Jessica’s and my hand, and initiated some quirky, energetic dance, spinning us around. Everything became a blur, and I closed my eyes, enjoying the thrill coursing through my veins, laughing and laughing. I never wanted this to end.

  However, the happy bubble that kept me high was broken when I hit someone’s hard body behind me. I turned to face them, ready to apologize, but then I met Josh’s harsh eyes. I frowned, taken aback, noticing hi
s own surprise on his face.

  “What are you doing here, cunt?”

  I could ask you the same. “Enjoying the party, obviously,” I replied sarcastically, failing to feel the fear I always felt near him. Somehow, after all that alcohol, it wasn’t difficult for me to talk back to him at all.

  “Talk back to me again, and I’ll make sure you won’t enjoy it at all,” he threatened me with a sneer. Natalie and Christine appeared next to him, both of them glaring at me.

  “What are you doing here?” Natalie fired her question at me.

  Oh great. They were here too. Just my luck.

  “I think Josh has already asked that unoriginal question.” I cast her a mocking gaze, enjoying to press her buttons. Seriously, why wasn’t I this brave when I was sober? Natalie fuming with anger was rather funny.

  She dug her nails into my arm, looking at me like she was ready to chop off my head. “You’re so dead.”

  She raised her hand, but Melissa intervened, seizing her arm. “Hey, hey, hey! Slow down! Take a chill pill!”

  Natalie brushed Melissa’s hand off her arm. “Don’t touch me,” she hissed at her. “I have no idea who let you in here, but you’re leaving now!” Natalie told me, looking ready to throw me out right away.

  This time it was Christine who moved to grab my arm, but Melissa blocked her, and Josh shoved her away.

  “Hey! Lay off!” Melissa shouted, glaring at Josh. “I don’t know what your problem is, pal, but you won’t treat us like this, especially not in my house!” She scowled at Christine and Natalie. “The same goes for you, Devil’s spawns! You’re the ones who should leave!”

  She stared them down, her tall frame hovering over Natalie and Christine. She looked like she could hit them any moment if provoked, and I felt a wave of admiration and gratitude toward her. She was ready to fight for us, not caring about the consequences.

  I wanted to fight my battles like that. I wanted to be brave, strong, and confident. Encouraged by Melissa’s strength and the amount of alcohol I consumed, I got into Natalie’s face.

  “I’m not going anywhere. You may live in an illusion that I’ll always let you walk over me, but you’re wrong. And if you don’t like that, you can just go fuck yourself.”