by Judy Carroll
“The problem we come up against is that ‘Satan’ is very cunning, often hiding deep within the subconscious recesses of our psyche, playing upon our latent insecurities, and outwardly expressing itself in disguises such as egotism, self-centeredness, self-aggrandizement, low self-esteem, needing to control or manipulate others around us, self-righteous behavior, or being judgmental or bigoted towards others who do not follow our way. All of these problems stem from fear, insecurity and lack of trust within ourselves. Once we overcome this sense of fear and learn to express only love, then we automatically let go of the need for such negative behavior patterns.”
“This is all very well,” Maddie replied. “I can understand that people’s inner fears and insecurities manifest as ego, greed, bigotry, etc., and that these negative behavior patterns within people’s minds cause wars and other awful things, but I still don’t understand where the Greys, Zetas or whatever you call them, fit in to all of this.”
Now Kaz stepped in. “Ali, do you want me to explain this part? I said I’d talk about the fear aspect, so, if you like, I’ll take over here.”
“Oh, thanks, Kaz, that’d be great. I’m just about all talked out, and besides, you’ve gone through more of that with Ben than I have personally, so you’re the expert here. It’s all yours.”
“Okay, Maddie,” Kaz began. “The Greys are what are known as testers or tryers of souls. This is part of their job as angelic ‘assistants,’ which involves helping people to tap into this fear — the ‘Satan element’ that Ali spoke about — and to bring it out into the open where it can be faced up to and healed more easily. Many people just can’t or won’t do this on their own, and until they do, they become stuck and unable to move further on their path of evolution.
“As Ali said, looking at and getting to know oneself is one of the hardest things a person can do, because this always involves bringing things like fear and insecurity up to the surface of the conscious mind and examining them honestly in the light of day. Many people deny this inner stuff and absolutely refuse to look at it, so the last thing they’re going to be willing to do is externalize it, because that would mean having to acknowledge it consciously. As testers of souls it’s the Greys’ job to assist with this process, so it’s no wonder they tend to be rather unpopular with many people. Being forced to face up to your own inner demons is not the most pleasant experience you can go through.
“This too is why a lot of researchers on the subject of ET contact never really get anywhere. They insist on looking at the Greys as nothing more than a race of physical beings from another planet. In trying to be so ‘scientific’ about it all, they won’t even consider the soul or spiritual aspect, and therefore miss a whole lot because they only look for physical evidence of the ET presence, refusing to acknowledge that they are much more than that. Sure, the ‘Greys’ can and do manifest physically, but they’re also interdimensional beings who are linked to the evolution of human consciousness, so the real evidence of their presence is much more subtle.”
“And how do they work as testers of souls?” Maddie asked.
“By acting as mirrors, reflecting back to those who look upon them what lies in the deepest levels of the psyche, and most especially those issues that we haven’t managed to resolve and integrate into our nature. This is why for many people contact with the Greys is so traumatic. They go through the experience of having their deepest, darkest fears and insecurities — all their hidden inner demons — reflected back at them, so they have no choice but to look and see. All the fear, ego and insecurity that has been buried and tamped down, not only from the present life but from past lives as well, is suddenly there, right in front of them, staring back at them through those big, black, shiny eyes.
“During the contact experience we go through what is known in shamanism as the ‘dark night of the soul.’ It’s a real test of courage to get through this because it requires having a deep enough trust in self and the God within to enable us to face up to and overcome these inner fears and insecurities that are being brought to the surface.”
“But I still don’t understand why the ETs must put us through this experience!” Maddie argued. “Surely we can do it ourselves! What right do they have to come in here uninvited and put us through all this fear and trauma, and make us feel so disempowered? Surely the evolution of our species is our responsibility and ours alone.”
“Well, Maddie,” Paco put in, “the truth of the matter is, humans do need outside assistance with this process, which is why we refer to Jesus as our Redeemer and Savior, sent to Earth to help us release the bonds of fear and negativity.”
“Exactly!” I added, “and this is also where all the confusion and argument arises between the scientific community, with their theory of totally natural and unaided evolution, and the religious belief in intervention by a higher outside Force. Both are partly correct, because evolution takes place not only on the physical level, but also on the soul level. The reality is, we really are more than just physical beings — we’re multidimensional — body, mind and spirit. Once we evolve past the physically oriented animal stage of evolution and begin moving into the more mind-oriented human stage, outside assistance is needed to help open us up to the deeper spiritual aspect of self that is now being awakened — the ‘God aspect’ in other words.
“For this to take place, certain barriers and limitations which were necessary for survival in the animal kingdom now have to be broken down. These barriers and limitations are based on instinctual fears and needs, for example, the ‘fight and flight’ instinct, and distrust and fear of anyone who is different and not part of the ‘herd.’ The need for ‘survival of the fittest’ is part of this as well, which is in direct opposition to the ‘compassion and care of the weak’ instinct that is really what being an evolved member of the human kingdom is all about.
“The Greys are coming here and helping this process of breaking down the barriers of fear in our minds because too many humans are lagging behind. There are just so many who are stuck and trapped within their own stubborn and egotistical belief that Earthlings ‘know it all’ and are the ‘greatest, most evolved species in the whole universe.’ Then there are lots of others who simply can’t move past their own inner fears, and who often just refuse to acknowledge that they have any inner fears. In fact, I don’t think there are too many human species in the lower levels of the universe who haven’t needed help in some way. Everybody has problems of one sort or another — not only Earth humans — and, as tryers and testers of souls, the Guardians’ special job is to provide this service.
“The amount of fear we go through in the contact experience depends upon how many barriers we’ve built up within our psyche, and how difficult they are to break down. And the other thing is, these fear barriers aren’t always based in the present life. They often have their source in past lives and so are buried very deeply within the subconscious layers of the mind.”
“So what you’re saying,” Maddie interjected, “is that there really is such a thing as reincarnation?”
“Oh, yes, for sure! And if people refuse to be open to this basic concept, then there’s no way they’ll ever get a handle on the contact experience. Why, there are even references to reincarnation in the Bible if you know where to look. For example, that passage about ‘the sins of the father being visited upon the son’; and ‘he who lives by the sword will die by the sword.’ These refer to karma, which is the Law of Cause and Effect. In other words, every action, either good or bad, sets off repercussions, either in the present life or else in subsequent lives.”
Unexpectedly, the phone rang loudly, startling everyone. Excusing herself, Maddie went to answer it, which provided some breathing space for us and a most welcome break. Paco leaned back in his chair, stretching luxuriously and absentmindedly trying to get his knuckles to crack, but instead only managed to accidentally kick my leg under the table. “Whoops, sorry, Ali Cat,” he apologized, “I didn’t mean to do that.”<
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“Quick, quick!” Kaz pushed her empty cup towards him, at the same time craning her neck to make sure Maddie was still occupied on the phone in the next room. “Give me a small nip of that brandy, and hurry up for heaven’s sake — I need it after all that!”
“Okay, okay, hang on! Let me get the top off.” Leaning back himself to check that the coast was still clear, he sloshed a little into Kaz’s cup — then helped himself to a a little nip as well.
“Oh, for goodness sake, you two!” I glared at the pair of them. “We come here to help the poor woman and all you do is drink her expensive alcohol. Honestly!”
“Well,” Paco hedged, “it’s heavy stuff we’re dealing with here, and Kaz is looking a bit upset, what with having to go back over her traumas with Ben, aren’t you Kaz?”
“Darned right I am! It’s not easy bringing all that emotion to the surface again; and it’s also very difficult to explain this stuff without letting on who and what we really are. The poor lady would freak out completely if we accidentally let drop that we’re humans by day but Zetas by night. And besides, we didn’t take much.
“Ahhh, that’s better!” she sighed, taking a good swallow of the fiery liquid — then followed a quite lady-like but obviously still satisfying burp, which in turn resulted in a fit of the giggles.
“You can’t do that, can you, Alarca?” she teased, still giggling and now looking a wee bit cross-eyed. “That must be really awkward at times, being resident in an Earthling container that can’t belch. How the hell do you manage? There’s nothing quite like a good burp, I always say, to clear the air, as it were. What do you reckon, Paco?”
“Oh, God!” he rolled his eyes heavenward. “That’s all we need right now — a half-drunken bloody ET in our midst. I forgot how sensitive you darned Greys can be to even a little alcohol, especially distilled spirits. Now Kaz, remember,” he enunciated slowly and carefully as if addressing a three year old, “you’re human, you’re not an ET — and so is Ali. She’s not Alarca down here — she’s Ali, and we’re all humans — perfectly normal Earthling h-u-m-a-n-s.”
“Absolutely!” Kaz giggled, raising her cup on high. “I’ll drink to that!”
top/bot
Chapter 35 Hell on Earth
Ten minutes or so passed before Maddie returned to resume her seat at the table, and I quickly but firmly stepped in to give Kaz some extra time to hopefully get herself together again. “Now, Maddie,” I began, “just to go back to your point about the ETs intervening in our process of soul evolution, and whether or not it’s really the responsibility of humans themselves.
“The big problem here is, so many of us have great difficulty in taking responsibility for our own spiritual growth. People have been disempowered for so long, and told so often that they’re ‘sinners,’ and ‘unworthy,’ and in the process have become accustomed to always looking outside of themselves for their spiritual needs.
“Even now that many are moving away from traditional religion, they still continue to externalize the process by shifting the focus to spirit guides, masters, and even to ETs, again perceiving them as either saviors or demons, and always totally separate from themselves. They just cannot seem to get away from the disempowered, ‘needy victim’ mentality. What we really have to do is learn is to look at self, where all our answers lie. People must learn to take back responsibility for their own soul growth, but most have no idea how.”
“Well,” Maddie replied, shaking her head, “I must admit I don’t. Maybe I’m being stupid asking such a question, but how the heck do we do this?”
Kaz just had to come in on this one, now determined to prove her humanness beyond a doubt: “Of course you’re not being stupid, darl’! Everybody has to ask questions; otherwise how’ll you ever understand? Now me, I drive everyone mad with questions. I’ve got a million of ‘em and I give the teachers ‘upstairs’ hell. Maddie, I refer to my teachers or ETs that we talk to as ‘upstairs.’”
“Oh, I see. I guess that makes sense.”
“ Lucky they’ve got those big baldy heads,” Kaz continued, “or they’d be tearing their hair out by the roots with me around nagging them for answers at every opportunity.
“But no, love,” she continued doggedly, “don’t you ever be embarrassed about asking questions, here or ‘upstairs.’ If you want to get a handle on all this, then it’s the only way. That fear stuff we were going on about before is sometimes more about ego, which often stops us from asking questions, ‘cause we don’t want to appear stupid, or ignorant, or whatever in front of others.
“And believe it or not,” she persisted, “it’s all ego too with those so-called ‘experts’ and ‘intellectuals’ who’ll use great long bloody words to answer your questions, each one trying to be more ‘scientific’ than all the rest, using such complex damned language nobody knows properly what they’re saying. All they do in the end is turn people off. The simpler the language, the stronger the message, I always say.”
Paco was busily kicking me under the table in an effort to get me to intervene before Kaz got carried away further. Finally, she paused to take a breath, giving me a chance to politely but firmly interrupt. “Maddie, to answer your question, taking responsibility for your own spiritual growth simply involves having the courage to look within, the honesty to admit where your problems lie, and then making the necessary changes.
“The contact experience helps you to do this because the emotions and images that come up during the process mirror whatever it is that’s blocking your soul growth. Too many experiencers, however, remain stuck and get caught up in the emotions of ET contact, and especially in the fear, but the only way past that fear is to try to reach a point of understanding. This can only be done by asking questions, and looking deeply within self, seeking the source of your fear, but, because it’s really your own unresolved issues being reflected back at you, it’s not easy. It takes a lot of courage, time and patience.
“It’s important to try to open lines of communication with the ETs,” I continued. “Kaz and I have become so familiar with them through our contact experiences, and we have felt such depth of wisdom and unconditional love surrounding them that we’ve come to look upon them as teachers and to ask questions of them. Sometimes we feel we aren’t being answered satisfactorily. Often a Grey teacher will answer one question with another question, or will give different answers to the same question, or even provide an answer that you feel is wrong and just doesn’t make sense. And certainly every answer you do receive will only lead to more questions on your part. It seems to be a never-ending process.
“The thing is, when the ETs do this, it isn’t that they’re being dishonest or sneaky. What they are doing is pushing you to look within to find your own answers. The last thing they want is for you to become dependent upon them for answers — to again look outside of self. In our search for answers we must eventually learn to look within. In fact this is the only place left for us to go in the end. This is the whole point of the exercise!
“The really important thing to remember through the encounter experience is that love conquers all! The key to spiritual transformation is overcoming the fear barrier to get to the love on the other side! This is what we spoke of before in connection with the shamanic experience — the ‘dark night of the soul,’ which is exactly what ET contact is all about. We all have to go through this in one way or another, because this is the only path to higher levels of evolution. The first thing is to acknowledge love and the God within, which then enables us to reach a point of openness, trust and faith, which in turn endows us with self-empowerment and inner strength. Getting angry about the contact experience is only self-defeating, and won’t get us anywhere.”
“But what I’m having difficulty with,” Maddie persisted, “is that my child is being affected. Kaz, how did you come to terms with this aspect? It’s all very well adults being put through terrifying experiences, but I can’t accept that a child should suffer!”
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��Well, Maddie,” Kaz replied, much more soberly this time, thank goodness. “I understand where you’re coming from, because I went through exactly the same thing with Ben. There were nights when I prayed, and cried in frustration and anger, and asked God these same questions — Why us? We’re not bad people! We don’t deserve this! Why Ben? But then I came to realize that I was actually being tested more than him. He would wake up the next morning his normal bright and happy self, often with no memory of and certainly no damage or ill effects from his trance experiences. And in fact it was always after these ‘night terrors’ that he would come out with incredibly wise statements and deeply profound understandings.
“In comparison, I was the one left angry, upset, and totally frustrated, because I felt powerless as a mother to do anything. This was what eventually brought me to the point of looking at myself. It was as if, I were being forced to face up to my own inner demons through my own flesh and blood.
“Even though it’s happening to your child,” Kaz continued, “you are also being tested and taught. Do you really and truly think God would let evil happen to you, or to an innocent child? As long as you have the love, faith and trust with which to connect to the Spark of God that lies within yourself, nothing bad can happen. The key is to acknowledge fully that you do have the power and the strength — and everyone has this, because we are all part of God, and therefore capable of incredible depths of strength and love. God is right there within each and every one of us, and love is our link, our lifeline. Once I began to look at this as a gift, or another opportunity for growth, it changed.
“Once I came to this realization, other forms of assistance seemed to unexpectedly materialize. For example, I’d be guided to read the right book, or to speak to the right person, as if a mysterious force outside of myself was stepping in. But this only happened once I reached a point of being willing to look within for answers and strength.”