Always (Wesson Rebel M.C. Series)

by Colt, Shyla

“Fuck.” He slams his fists against the kitchen counter beside me. “How long are you going to make me pay for it?”

  “You should’ve been there, Dallas.” My voice shakes. The sound of gunshots and the taste of fear in my mouth circle around in my mind.

  “Turn around and look at me.”

  The plea in his voice makes me rotate my body.

  He snatches the box of pasta from my hands and flings it across the room. “If I could go back, you know I would.”

  “I know, but you can’t.” I run my fingers over the Vice President patch on his cut.

  “Can we please get past this? I gave you time. I backed up, kept my mouth shut and supported you.”

  “Isn’t that what a man does for his woman?” I challenge.

  “Yes, problem is, you’re still raw and bleeding. I want to make this right, make us a real family for R.” Dallas places his head on my shoulder.

  I fight back the tears. He’s doing it again, ripping at the wall I erected to keep me safe.

  My father had yet to wake from his coma. He’d lapsed into a deep coma. Everything functioned just fine, but the lights were out.

  Wesson Rebels paid for his care and I visited him often, usually with his namesake. Rufus Rule Curtis who came into the world 9lbs 5 ounces with a set of lungs to wake the dead. Affectionately referred to as R squared, the caramel skinned baby with wicked hazel eyes has been the glue that holds this battered family together.

  I know that if we’re going to stay together we have to heal the rift and move forward. It’s a sick thing, wanting to be with someone and resenting them at the same time. I wouldn’t want to be with anyone else, but opening myself back up and placing my trust in Dallas fully, is even harder than the college level Calculus course, I flunked twice. “I don’t know what to say it was a lot at once. Dad getting gunned down and falling into a coma, trying to stay sane enough to carry R to full term, and then watching you…” My voice wavers and I swallow, forcing the lump in my throat down. “…Take Daddy’s place.” It obliterated my already traumatized mind. All I could think of was putting one foot in front of the other and clinging to what sanity I could find. “I know I’ve been off these past few months. But I’m here and I’m trying.”

  “I know that, Baby Girl.” He smoothes my hair back away from my face. “But you still hold back from me. It was never like that between us. I don’t want it to be.” Dallas shook his head. “Scratch that. I refuse to let it be. The time of handling you with kid gloves has come and gone. Don’t you think R deserves united parents?”

  My head snaps up and I glare. Fuck you, Dallas. “We are. I’ve been with you every step of the way? What more do you want?”

  “I want my Baby Girl back,” he dead pans.

  “You ever think she might not exist?” I shook my head. I was never a stranger to the hazards of club life, but nothing like this had ever hit so close to home. It’s shaken me, stolen the innocence I’d maintained as a woman inside Wesson.

  “No, because I see her. All the damn time, with Rule, Rowan and Danny. Hell, everyone but me gets a piece of old Cora.” A vein pops out in his neck and his chest heaves.

  “You want to do this shit, let’s do it. I know you don’t like what’s leftover, so why don’t you just leave, Dallas!” I scream, clutching at flimsy defense tactics.

  He cups my face with his hand, squeezing my cheeks. “You’re mine. You don’t get to walk away and I’m sure as fuck not going anywhere.”

  I jerk away. “Don’t you touch me.”

  “That’s right take out your anger, yell, scream, cuss. I don’t give a fuck as long as you feel with me.” He grins and presses his lips to mine. “I’m going to do more than touch,” he whispers. “I’m going to fuck you till that sassy ass mouth of yours is quiet.”

  I lift my hand and before I know it, I slap him across the face.

  His eyes go wide as he releases my face and grips my forearms giving me shake. “You’ve had your mind twisted as fuck since this shit went down and I haven’t been able to give it to you like you need with Danny, Rowan and R always around. With Aunt Sunshine on weekend duty it’s just us. Finally, I’m going to do what I should’ve months ago.”

  I’m shaking, afraid of and anticipating his next actions. He moves fast. I blink and he lifts me up and tosses me over his shoulder. Panic sets in and I thrash. I’d built up a wall to keep me out of the intense emotions I feel for him. Behind them, I’m safe. I never want to hurt again, the way I did that night.

  He smacks my ass hard.

  I cry out, going still.

  “Keep it up. There’s plenty more where that came from.”

  “Don’t don’t do this, Dallas,” I whisper while slumped over his shoulder.

  “Do what? Bring Sleeping Beauty back to life? It’s time, Baby Girl.”

  “No no it’s not. There’s too much ugly inside.”

  “I want all of you, Cora. Not just the pretty polished pretend pieces you’ve been wearing around.”

  “No, no you don’t. It’ll break us,” I plead my case. The walls keep the anger and the resentment inside.

  “We’re built Wesson strong, we got this on lock.” He rubs my ass, relieving the sting from the sharp raps he placed moments earlier.

  My nipples harden and my panties grow damp. No matter what my mind says, my body is always ready and willing. Dallas knows me better than anyone else and directs my body’s responses like the conductor of an orchestra.

  He stalks through the door to our bedroom and throws me on the bed. I sit up and he’s there in an instant, pinning me down with the weight of his lean body. “I’m reclaiming everything, your heart, your soul and your pussy. ‘Cause they all belong to me, forever. You remember that?”

  I know he’ll do everything he said and in the process—I’ll break.

  “You remember our first time? You were scared then too, but you trusted me. That’s all I’m asking you to do now, Baby Girl.” His voice is low and gravelly and the expression in his eyes is gentle.

  This look he wears is a rarity not many ever see and it never fails to move me. My body trembles.

  “Let go, Baby Girl. I’ll take care of you. I know what you need, what we need.” He rubs the top of my thigh, massaging the flesh revealed by my tiny shorts.

  It’d been the sticky hot weather that made me don them and I didn’t want to melt on the way home. Fuck, if I’m not regretting that decision now. His heat sears my flesh, deepening my desire for him.

  “I see it in your eyes, baby, you want me.”

  “I never said I didn’t—Dallas.” My voice cracks. What I don’t want was the world of hurt I’ve barricaded myself from to come crashing down.

  He pops the button on the top of my jeans and eases his fingers inside my panties.

  His thick, calloused digits have my pussy weeping. My clit swells and my nipples pucker. My walls tense and release in hopeful anticipation. He’s fined tuned my body to him. Times like this, I hate him for that.

  “So wet.” He swipes my clit and I buck against him. “I’m going to make you come so hard.”

  His voice drops an octave and goose bumps raise over my skin. I want the release he can give me. I crave the reprieve from the tangled mess going on inside my head. But I don’t want the aftermath.

  “No holding back on me this time.” He thrust his fingers inside. I let my head fall back as I lift my hips. “I want to see inside you.” His movements are rough and fast, just the way I need. “Open those eyes and look at me, Cora. I want those pretty browns glued to mine.”

  I clench my lids shut as an act of defiance.

  He pauses with his finger deep inside me. “No.”

  My walls contract around him involuntarily. I open my eyes.

  He grins. “Keep them on me,” He growls, adjusting his angle and hitting the spot that has me seeing stars.

  My witty comebacks die on my lips. Bastard knows what he’s doing. A few more pumps and I don’t care. Whimpers spill
from my throat and I clamp my thighs around his hand to get more friction. The pressure begins to build and like a soda pop bottle shaken and unscrewed—I explode.

  “Damn, you’re so pretty when you come for me, Cora.”

  Breathing heavily, I watch as he removes my shorts, shrugs out of his cut and tosses it onto the chair beside our bed.

  Stripping down, he reveals miles of sinewy muscle.

  He is everything I love. Strong and muscular without being over defined and slim, but broad. My mouth waters at the sight of him.

  His gaze catches mine and I see his eyes soften as he strokes his cock.

  I’m mesmerized by the drop of pre-come that leaks from the mushroom shaped head.

  “Open those legs, Baby Girl. You’re ready for me. I can smell how much you want it.”

  Nervous, I spread my legs wide and he kneels on the bed, crawling over to me. His thick head nudges my entrance. “You ready to be fucked?”

  I release shaky breath and nod my head.

  “No I want to hear it, Cora.”

  “I want you to fuck me Dal—”

  He drives home and my words become garbled. “Hold your legs back.”

  I do as he asks, yowling when he hits my g-spot and retreats, over and over again.

  “I want to hear you, Cora,” he demands.

  “So good, so good.” My head spins.

  He’s been going easy on me. I forgot what it was like before when we were wild, inexhaustible, and adventurous.

  “Tell me who’s fucking you, baby?”

  “You—you are.”

  He bottoms out, going deeper and deeper. “Say my name, Baby Girl.”

  “Dallas…Dallas.”

  “That’s right, don’t you ever forget it.” His hand comes up and grips my neck, gently pressing down on my wind pipe, just enough to let me know he’s there and in total control of the situation.

  “Oh…” I whimper.

  “You like it when I’m in control because you know I’ll always take care of you, don’t you?”

  “Yes,” I gasp out.

  “No more running. I want all of it. You hear me?” He drives deeps, hitting my cervix.

  I scream as I began to come undone. “Close, Jesus I’m close!”

  “You’re going to come for me and you’re going to let go.” His eyes are alight with fire. “You understand me?”

  I know he’s talking about more than my orgasm. “Yes, yes.” I clutch the sheets between us.

  “And I’m going to fill up your pussy too, same way as I always did before. No more of this bullshit.”

  He’s ripping down the road blocks I placed between us and forcing me back on our life’s path. He wants another baby. I don’t mind, I adore baby R squared, but the fear won’t leave me. It suffocates me, choking the life from me like a weed killing a flower.

  “No, stay with me. No more disappearing.” He forces the words out through gritted teeth while his neck is all tensed up.

  I can tell he’s close. I’ve been drowning and he’s throwing me a lifeline, but I know that this towing will come with some heavy dosage of pain. I hover at the edge, fighting against surrendering to my body’s wishes and his will.

  He tightens his old around my throat.

  My walls clamp down. I’m going over whether I want it or not. Tired of battling alone and ready for the bliss only Dallas offers, I let the waves carry me away. He’s gravity, there’s no denying him forever.

  He cries out, pumps a few more times and fills me with his warmth. Collapsing on top of me, he buries his face to my neck. “You’re getting my cut in the next three months and we’re getting hitched.”

  Too tired to argue, I moan a noncommittal answer. I’m not sure how much I can bend without going back to the dark place that consumed me right after the hit on the MC. But finally, I’m ready to try.

  Present

  How can the man who fought for me so hard before, walk away so easily? My head falls back onto the couch and I curse the day I let him back inside. How many times is it going to take for me to understand that Dallas Wesson brings pain? I’m many things, but a stupid woman isn’t one of them. Love doesn’t mean you continue to cut your main artery and bleed out. This time, things will be different between me and Dallas. This time, I’ll be strong enough to stand on my own.

  Dallas

  I peel my crusted eyelids up and reality bears down on me like a freight train. I’m in a rundown hotel, hours away from my home. My father is dead, my brother is Wesson’s president and I’m a Nomad. I lick my dry lips and wonder what Cora is doing. She’s a victim of circumstance in all this, wrong place, wrong time, wrong man. I never should’ve started shit with her. I knew it. That’s why I waited so long to let her know how I felt.

  God, I knew she watched me, wanted me. I can still remember the powerful streak of electricity that ran through my body the first time I saw her view me as a man. My dick hardens even now and I groan. Good to know at least one of my heads is functioning properly. I miss her warmth beside me and the sweet smell of her skin. I miss the sound of my baby boy’s babbling and the brilliance of his gaze. His eyes are so like mine, but I never want him to gain anything else from me. I’m starting to wonder if maybe I’m cursed.

  I roll over in bed and grab my phone from the nightstand. Twenty voice mails and a slew of texts. I won’t leave Cora hanging. She’s lost enough as it is. Everyone else can go fuck themselves. I don’t owe them any explanations. I shoot a quick text.

  Got in to a hotel late last night and crashed, still breathing.~Dallas

  I hold my breath as I wait for a response. When it doesn’t come right away I begin the task of scrolling through the others. I stop when I see my brother’s. I know you need time to get your head straight. I got Cora and R2.

  A part of me wants to get on my bike and drive home. Patch things up and pretend I’m okay. The fix would be temporary and I can’t walk around a ticking time bomb. I don’t even know what life truly means with dad gone or if I want to be or should be President. I’ve lived my whole life for him. No one ever asked me what I wanted. Anger rushes up and I toss my phone across the room. It slams into the wall. I’m fucking everything up again, just the way I used to. After all this time, my old man turns out to be right. My heads throbs and I find myself wishing this was nothing more than a hangover induced dream and my brother would be waking me up any minute to give me hell.

  Past

  Tiny droplets of liquid pepper my face. “Wake up, Fucker!” a gruff voice bitches at me.

  Groaning, I run a hand over my face. The moisture continues to sprinkle me. Annoyed, I peel my eyelids open, wincing as the light pierces them.

  “Rise and shine, bitch.” Danny grins.

  “Oh, fuck you,” I mumble. My throat is dry and my eyes are burning. I overdid it with the whiskey last night. I force myself into an upright position on the couch.

  “You in the dog house?” Danny asks, clearly amused.

  Scowling, I will the room to stop spinning and wait for my stomach to settle. I’m a pro at this hangover bullshit by now. Sometimes, the only way to deal with the demons in my head and the stress on my shoulders is to get ripped or get a good fuck. “Nah, just crashed out here after I drank.” I run my hands through my hair and push to my feet, walking to the kitchen to start a cup of coffee. I bitched about buying this Kuerig coffee brewer, but the shit turned into an essential item.

  “You even remember calling me during that binge?” Danny asks.

  “Yeah. Thanks for coming down, Co could use Rowan right now.”

  “Yeah about that. What the fuck, brother? Reaper flat lines and you don’t call us?”

  “Not my call,” I say, shaking my head. “I only got so much pull as VP. And being Dad’s son, I get even less. You know how he gets once he gets something in his head.”

  “Fuck yes, I do,” Danny grumbles.

  “I can tell by the level of irritation in your voice you’ve already seen him. I don�
�t get why you two can’t get along.” I say, shaking my head as I doctor my mug with sugar and creamer. Fuck that black shit, I like my coffee sweet.

  “Because he thinks he’s God.”

  “As far as Wesson is concerned he is,” I reply with a snort. “It’s the way of shit. You know it. I know it. Accept it and move on.”

  “Ain’t so easy for me.”

  “You know if I didn’t know better. I’d think you had the hard on for President someday.”

  “Fuck that. It’s a patch I never want to wear on my cut.”

  I chuckle as I place the mug beneath the dispenser and turn to face him, leaning against the counter. “How’s college life treating you?” He’s always been too smart for his own good. Seeing him go away had been hard, but satisfying. It felt like what he should be doing. What I knew he would do, if he weren’t bogged down with the club. I’m not blind to the fact that my brother isn’t in whole heartedly for us. But it doesn’t change shit. Short of walking away from us and living in exile, he’s locked in.

  “Good. Shit, compared to what we grew up dealing with, it’s a cake walk. It makes me sick all these kids walking around with zero responsibilities, bitching like they got it so hard,” Danny scoffs. “We pretty much stick to ourselves.”

  “I thought you’d be eating that shit up.”

  “What do you mean?” Danny frowns.

  “Being normal.”

  He gives a dry laugh that makes me flinch. The sound reminds me of rusty razor blades “Normal? We can never be that. After all we’ve seen and done, we’re lucky we’re not completely fucked in the head.”

  I always knew the weight of what we did sat heavily on him. “I don’t know, I’m pretty fucking normal,” I say grinning.

  “Oh, bullshit.” He laughs.

  With the sound, suddenly the cloud lifts and I can breathe again. It’s easier to mask everything behind flippancy and humor. “What? I got a house, kids and an almost wife. I’m living the fucking American dream.”

  “More like you’re living with the consequences of not being able to keep your hands and your dick to yourself,” Danny teases.