Then I noticed that Clara’s car was there as well.
Odd, I thought as I made my way to the front door. Clara always worked on Fridays.
The door was unlocked so I went right in and stopped to listen. I heard voices coming from the living room so I turned and made my way there, smiling when I saw Luke sitting on the couch next to Clara.
“What’s going on?” I asked, moving to drop my purse on the coffee table.
That was when I realized there was a third presence in the room, sitting across from the two of them in my dad’s armchair. It was a blonde guy I’d never seen before—maybe late-twenties at most—and he stood up to greet me as I entered the room.
I noticed Luke swallow hard and his eyes darken as Clara glanced at me nervously.
“Jenna, honey, would you mind—”
“So you’re Jenna?” the man asked with a smile that was a little too wide be considered merely friendly. “It’s so nice to meet you. I’m Derek, Luke’s sponsor.”
“Sponsor?”
“From rehab,” Luke said dryly from the couch. “He’s here to check up on me. Make sure I haven’t.... resumed old habits.”
I chuckled nervously, aware that the entire room’s attention was focused on me. A sponsor? I thought those were something that only existed in the various types of Anonymous programs.
“Oh. I didn’t know there were sponsors for... you know.”
“Sex addicts? There are,” Derek politely finished for me.
“Unfortunately.”
“Luke!” Clara berated. “Please behave.”
Derek didn’t look put out by Luke’s obvious irritation. His gaze stayed on me and he smiled as he said, “Why don’t you have a seat? It can be very beneficial to get the whole family involved.”
“She’s not my family,” Luke growled.
Derek frowned. “I’m sorry—I must have gotten something mixed up,” he mumbled as he picked up a manila envelope and flipped through it. “It says you were checking out and your temporary place of address was going to be with your mother and stepfather?”
“Oh, Bill and I aren’t married yet,” Clara said kindly. “We’re planning on next month.”
“That’s wonderful, congratulations,” Derek said sincerely. “So, alright—Jen is almost family.”
I could see it coming before it happened. The storm in Luke’s eyes was growing wilder as he ground out, “Let me repeat myself. Jenna is not my fucking family. Not this month—not next month. So she’s free to leave.”
I took no offense to anything he was saying because I understood exactly why he was saying it.
Clara, however, had no idea. And she looked mighty pissed off.
She stood up and moved directly in front of her son, pointing down at him as she shouted, “Lucas! Please show some respect! I don’t know what’s been going on this past week or what you two could possibly be fighting about, but Jenna is going to be your stepsister whether you like it or—”
“NO!” Luke shouted as he stood up. “Technically, yes, we’ll be stepsiblings. But stop calling us family.”
Derek’s gaze was flickering between the two of them, then over to me questioningly. Something in my expression—or perhaps something not in my expression—must have tipped him off because I watched his eyes widen with understanding. Fear flooded into my entire being and I felt my heartbeat spiraling out of control.
“Oh my,” he whispered. “Luke, this—We need to get you back to a controlled environment and—”
“Fuck off, Derek,” Luke growled, pointing his finger towards the door. “I’m fine. Write that down in your little fucking folder and get the fuck out.”
“Language!” Clara chided, shooting him an angry glare before turning to Derek. “What the hell is going on?”
His eyes flickered to me and Clara’s angry gaze followed. For a second, she looked confused, but it all pieced together quickly enough. She gasped and covered her mouth with her hand, looking back at Luke with disbelieving eyes.
“No. Luke, tell me you didn’t.”
His jaw clenched and unclenched a few times, his breaths coming out in short puffs. I could see him being torn between denial and honesty and I wiped every emotion off of my face and just waited.
This was all on him. I’d let him do whatever he needed to do.
His eyes moved past his mother and landed on me, softening when he took in my lack of expression. He swallowed thickly and said, “They were going to find out eventually.”
“Oh my god,” Clara cried out, sinking down to sit on the couch and burying her face in her hands. “No, no. How could you, Lucas? You know how much Bill means to me.”
Again, his eyes met mine and I knew it was my turn.
“It wasn’t Luke,” I whispered, everyone in the room going deadly silent. “It was me. I did this. I’m sorry.”
Derek raised his hands in the air and attempted to regain control of the situation. “This is alright—it happens all the time. Relapse is part of recovery. We just need—“
“We don’t need shit. You need to go,” Luke demanded. “Did you honestly expect me never to have sex again? I’m not a fucking drug addict who needed a fix.”
“Aren’t you?” Derek countered. “Did you not ‘get your fix’ with Jenna? You’ve been here a week! What else could it be?”
I closed my eyes because I somehow instinctively knew what was going to happen next. I heard Luke’s heavy footsteps and a thud, followed immediately by Clara’s cry of surprise. I opened my eyes to see Derek clutching his nose, blood pouring down his chin as Luke loomed over him.
“Get. Out.”
Derek finally understood that he wasn’t welcome here and began to gather his folder with his free hand. Before he made it to the door, he turned back and nasally stated, “I won’t press charges, but don’t think for a second that you’ll be welcome back at the center after this. Or any others in the area.”
The door slammed as he made his way out and I closed my eyes again, waiting for the explosion that was sure to happen next. At least I knew this one wasn’t going to be violent.
Unless Clara was secretly a black belt.
I startled when I felt something touch my hand, looking down to realize it was Luke taking my hand in his own and intertwining our fingers together. He looked deep into my eyes for a moment before he turned away, and pleadingly said, “Mom. Please—”
“Get out, Lucas,” she said softly, not even bothering to look up at him. She was sitting back on the couch, staring at her clasped hands between her knees.
“Just—Just let me explain.”
“Get out. Now. Bill—he’s not going to be happy when he hears about this,” she said with a sigh, finally looking up at us with glassy eyes. “Please, just go so I can attempt to salvage my engagement. If you—If your actions ruined this... I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to forgive you.”
I wanted to argue that I could handle my father, but Luke let go of my hand and began to slowly back away.
“Luke, wait—”
“She’s right, Jenna. I need to go. I shouldn’t be staying here anyway.”
“But what about—”
“Just stop. I have to go.”
With that, he spun around and jogged to the door. I wanted to follow him, but Clara jumped up from the couch and held me back. I was crying as I watched through the living room window as he pulled his phone out of his pocket and began to walk aimlessly down the street and out of view.
“Jenna, please. Please calm down,” Clara whispered, her grip turning into more of a hug from behind.
“I think I love him,” I choked out.
I heard Clara sob and press her face into my shoulder, the two of us standing together and crying over the thought of our relationships coming to an end.
~*~*~
Chapter Fifteen
A few hours later, Clara and I had both calmed down and were sitting at opposite ends of the couch, patiently waiting for my dad to come h
ome from work. Or at least that’s what I assumed we were waiting for.
I was damn near certain that’s what she was waiting for and I wanted to be right here to make my case and defend Luke, hoping to salvage the situation with my honesty. Clara hadn’t spoken to me since my watery use of the L-word and I could only imagine the kind of thoughts that must have been running through her mind since then.
When my dad came in and saw us, he immediately frowned and dropped his briefcase on the coffee table.
“Who died?”
Clara looked up at him, her face far more calm than I was sure she felt. “Lucas and Jenna have gotten... involved.”
“Involved,” he repeated, his frown turning into more of a scowl as he turned to me. “Involved how?”
“We’re together.”
“Together? Like—dating? Or—” he cut himself off, realizing how absurd it sounded considering the short amount of time we had known each other. His face twisted up in disgust as he made his own assumptions and sneered, “Where the fuck is he?”
“Dad, just calm—”
“I sent him away,” Clara cut me off. “I told him to get out. Bill, please try to understand that this isn’t what I thought would happen when I asked if he could stay with us. I never—”
Dad held his hand up and sighed. “Clara, just stop. It’s not your fault. It’s that fucking son of yours. Where’d he go?”
“It’s not his fault either,” I said as I stood up from the couch. “It’s mine.”
Dad’s face softened and his eyebrows furrowed up in confusion. “Yours?”
“Yes. I... I started it,” I said with a blush, not wanting to have to spell out the words ‘I seduced him’ to my father of all people. This was already awkward enough.
He looked between Clara and me a few times then tightly clenched his jaw. “Alright. Fine. Then you’re not leaving this house again until fall and Clara—you better make it damn clear that boy isn’t welcome back under my roof.”
“Dad—”
“End of discussion,” he said with a tone of finality. He was done.
But I wasn’t.
“You can’t keep me here. I’m an adult.”
My father raised his eyebrows and crossed his arms over his chest. “Oh really? Then go. But don’t expect to get very far considering your credits cards will be cancelled within hours of your departure.”
“That’s not fair.”
“No, what’s not fair is allowing someone to stay in your home and finding out he’s taking advantage of your daughter!” he shouted, his face becoming red with anger. “I expected nothing from him, but you! How dare you disrespect me like that? By.... By fucking that boy under my roof?” he stopped again, shaking his head and rubbing his eyes as if he couldn’t force the mental picture out of his head. “Go to your room, Jen.”
“I’m sorry, Dad,” I said softly, swallowing hard as the words came bubbling up out of me uncontrollably. “I’m so sorry that you feel disrespected. I didn’t mean to—I’m just sorry. But I won’t let him go.”
He looked at me blankly, then gestured to the door. “You want to keep screwing around with your stepbrother? There’s the door.”
I knew my father well enough to know that his words were nothing more than an attempt to call my bluff. I turned and went into my bedroom, ignoring the sigh of relief I heard from both him and Clara, and I numbly began to pack a few sets of clothes and other miscellaneous things into a duffle bag.
After I was done, I grabbed my cell phone charger and shoved it into the top pouch before I hoisted it on my shoulder and walked out. My dad and Clara were having a heated talk in the living room when I came out and they both froze at the sight of my bag.
I only stopped to toss my house key towards them before I walked to the front door. I tuned out the frantic calls of my name and sprinted to the exit, then down the driveway as they both came out of the house to try to stop me.
I think the only reason why my dad didn’t chase me down was because of Clara. Even though I tried to tune them out, I still heard her soft ‘Let her go, Bill’ as I was running off.
Tears rolled down my cheeks as I walked down the road in the direction I saw Luke go hours earlier. I had no idea who he would’ve called to pick him up or where he would’ve gone and the thought broke my heart. I couldn’t call him—I never bothered to get his cell phone number—and texting Clara to ask for it wasn’t an option.
I pulled the phone from my pocket and pressed number one on my speed dial list.
“Remember how you said if I ever needed anything, you’d be there for me?”
“Considering I said it less than twelve hours ago, yes,” Daniel said, his voice slightly amused.
“Well, I need you. Please come get me,” I said, unable to stop myself from sniffling.
“Five minutes,” he promised before ending the call.
I sent him a text to tell him what intersection I was at and plopped down on the bus stop bench to wait.
~*~*~
Chapter Sixteen
“You can stay here as long as you need to, honey,” Frieda said the moment she saw me standing in her living room with a duffle bag.
“Thank you so much.”
Daniel’s mom had been sort of like a mom to me ever since middle school. My real mother had passed away long before I even met Daniel and I had spent enough time here that she began to fill the role without even intending to. I could still remember when I had my first period. My dad had awkwardly stuttered through his sentences as he attempted to explain what was happening to my body before he miserably said, ‘Maybe you should call Frieda.’
Wrapped up in memory lane, I didn’t even realize that Daniel was taking my duffle bag from me and leading me towards his room. I had cried during most of the car ride and he let me without question, knowing I wouldn’t be able to explain what happened until I was able to calm down.
Now that I was fairly calm and able to speak without losing my shit, I knew he deserved an explanation. The second his door closed behind him, I paced back and forth and launched into the whole story about what happened from the moment he dropped me off up until my call to him. By the time I was finished, my throat was raw and I could feel myself crying again.
How many tears can one person have? I miserably wondered.
“I can’t believe he kicked you out,” Daniel said, clearly shocked.
“It wasn’t like that. He was just trying to call my bluff. Trying to control me. He never expected for me to actually go.”
“Do you have any idea where Luke is?”
The tears flowed freely as I shook my head. “No, and I don’t have any way to contact him.”
“Oh, honey. Come here,” Daniel said, opening his arms and pulling me in for a hug.
It was already late, so when Daniel suggested that I get some sleep, I didn’t argue. He let me take the bed and offered to sleep on the couch to give me some privacy, but I politely declined. It wasn’t like we had never shared a bed before and I didn’t need privacy.
What I really needed was to know that I wasn’t totally alone.
~*~*~
Waking up the next day was painful. I could sense a presence beside me—not touching, but close enough for me to feel—and I instinctively knew it wasn’t Luke. I closed my eyes and wished that it had all been just a nightmare, but wishing never did anything for me.
I sighed and sat up, going through the motions of my morning routine even though I had to borrow a toothbrush from Frieda, who offered to let me use her shower so I wouldn’t have to spend the day smelling like Daniel after using his soap.
Washing my hair made me sad when I remembered how Luke had done it, but I tried to turn my sadness into something more productive.
I tried to think of how I could possibly find him.
Throwing my house key at my dad and Clara had been kind of my way of giving them the finger, but now I was deeply regretting it. We didn’t have a spare lying around and breaking in a
nd looking for Luke’s number amongst Clara’s stuff would have probably been my best option.
So much for that.
By the time I was finished with my shower, Frieda had finished breakfast and Daniel was shoving down a stack of pancakes. I readily joined him, my stomach reminding me that I had skipped dinner the night before.
I was on my second plate when Frieda casually stated, “I texted your father.”
The fork I was holding fell to the plate and clattered loudly. “You what?”
“I’m sorry, sweetie. I was worried. He’s worried about you, too,” she said carefully, watching my reaction. “He’s relieved to know that you’re alright though and made me promise to ask you to go back home.”
I hardened my eyes and shook my head. “I won’t. I don’t need to go home, I need—”
Luke.
I left his name unspoken and looked down at my plate, knowing that Daniel knew what I was saying. I just wasn’t sure how much Frieda knew about everything that was going on.
Like some kind of mind-reader, Daniel finished his bite of food and told me, “I gave her a PG move trailer rundown of what’s going on.”
“So, this boy... You must really care about him.”
I nodded and washed down my food with the glass of orange juice she had poured for me. “I really do. And while our situation is... complicated, I still want to be with him. I won’t let my father stop me just because he thinks it’s inappropriate.”
Frieda nodded and gave me a small smile. “Good for you.”
Shocked, I looked up at her with wide eyes. “What?”
“You heard me. I’m proud of you for standing up for what you believe in. And you clearly believe in him or else you wouldn’t be here right now, would you?”
“Right,” I said slowly, wondering where exactly she was going with this.
She stood up and walked to the counter, pulling a pink sticky note off the surface and coming back to sit down across from me.
“Here.”
I took the paper and looked down at it, frowning at first before my eyes widened with recognition. “Is this—”
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