“I spent years developing a pattern—meet random women, fuck them, and take off. Occasionally I’d get their numbers and make them fuck buddies, but only if they agreed that there would be no strings attached. A few months ago, everything became clear.”
I craned my neck to look at him as I asked, “What happened?”
Luke was looking past me, a small frown on his face as he stared into the distance. “I had an epiphany. I noticed a fuck buddy was getting clingy so I called it off. She showed up at my apartment sobbing and I had no idea what to do. I realized that, out of the bedroom, I didn’t even remember how to talk to women anymore. I sent her on her way and not even two hours later, I was in a bar looking for her replacement. I was fucking some random girl in the bathroom when it finally hit me that I had a problem.”
He paused for a long moment and I kept quiet, not sure if he was waiting for a response or simply gathering his thoughts.
“I saw a shrink for a few weeks and he asked me to not sleep with any women between our sessions so he could better evaluate the problem. Well, it was easier said than done and when I told him as much, he suggested rehab. A place where I’d be more likely able to control myself.”
“Did it work?”
Luke nodded and his eyes refocused on mine. “It did. At least until I got out.”
A painful throb went shooting through my chest at the thought of what Daniel and I had done to him. “I’m sorry.”
He shook his head, his expression hardening with resolve. “No, it’s different now. This... Whatever this is between us, it’s far different than what I went into rehab for. Sure, I could easily say I’m completely addicted to being inside you and mean it, but it extends beyond that.”
“I’m not following you.”
His arms went to my waist and tightened around me. “I’m addicted to you, Jenna. As a whole. As a person. It’s not just sex anymore.”
He didn’t need to say anything more; the meaning was clear. My heart pounded hard in my chest and my brain began to soften to the idea. It may be too soon for most people, for normal couples, but it had already been established that we were both far from normal.
This was love. It was fast, intense, terrifying, all-consuming love.
I swallowed hard and leaned back against his chest, smiling when he leaned forward to nuzzle my neck with his chin.
~*~*~
Chapter Nineteen
“Oh my— You motherfuckers.”
“Now that’s not a very nice way to greet your best friend,” I chided Daniel with a frown as he got out of the car and popped the trunk.
“I think it’s perfectly fitting considering you two look like you’ve done nothing but fuck for the past four days,” he replied as he crossed his arms over his chest and waited for me to deny it.
I glanced at Luke then down at myself and shrugged. “Sorry?”
Daniel gave me a withering glare and Luke laughed as he loaded our bags into the car.
We had agreed to stay in the motel room for the remaining time that Luke had prepaid for, then have Daniel carry us over to face the music that was our parents. It was Sunday so we were sure they would both be home and Frieda had agreed that we could both spend the night at their house if our parents were less than welcoming.
Daniel had playfully bitched about having to play taxi-driver again, but I knew he didn’t really mean it. I had texted him days ago letting him know the plan, so I wouldn’t have to call him last second and interrupt his plans.
“I can’t believe you’re going to face your parents like that,” Daniel said with an incredulous shake of his head as he slammed the trunk closed. “You two are brave.”
“We don’t look that bad,” I argued.
“Not that bad? Your neck looks like a chew toy!”
I covered the bite marks on my neck defensively and frowned. “Maybe I should change before we leave. I think I have a shirt that’ll cover it a little better.”
“I fucking hope you do, otherwise your dad is going to shoot Luke here on sight.”
Daniel reopened the trunk and I dug through the bag until I found the shirt with the high collar I had packed. Luke wordlessly handed me the key to the room and I rushed off to change. A glance in the bathroom mirror proved that the marks weren’t covered entirely, but the majority of them were now hidden.
When I got back to the car, Daniel and Luke were chatting with huge grins on their faces and it made me smile to see them getting along.
They both looked at me as I approached and Daniel pursed his lips together thoughtfully for a moment before he deduced, “Not great—but better. Less likely to cause an injury to Luke’s health.”
“Glad it meets your approval,” I said with a hard roll of my eyes. “But you’d look like this too after five days of nothing but sex.”
He looked surprised that I would say such a thing, before it morphed into something akin to jealously. “You lucky bitch.”
We all laughed as he got into the car, Luke offering to take the back so Daniel and I could talk more. Since my sex life had already been brought up, I figured it was only fair to ask Daniel about his.
“So how’s Greg?”
Daniel gave me a sly grin as he started the car. “He’s very good.”
“Greg?” Luke asked from the backseat. “That motherfucker that practically forced himself on you in the street?”
“He what?” Daniel asked, eyes going big. “He was just supposed to kiss you!”
“Okay, hold up. First, Daniel—yes, that’s all he did. Second, Luke—Greg is actually gay.”
“He—What?”
Daniel took over for me at that point. “Oh, yeah. Good old Greg—he’s my fuck buddy. He owed me a favor and I cashed it in. A set up to make you jealous.”
I dared a glance back at Luke, terrified to see his reaction. He knew it had been a farce, but I wasn’t sure if he was aware of just how much he had been played. I was certain I hadn’t mentioned Daniel’s involvement in the plan either, so I was worried about how he was going to react to the news.
To my great surprise, he just smiled. “Worked like charm. But fair warning—if I ever see him, I’m going to punch him in the face.”
“Fair enough,” Daniel said with a shrug. “He probably deserves it for something. Guy’s a bit of a dick.”
“He was pretty nice to me. Very respectful.”
“Only because he didn’t want to piss me off,” Daniel told me. “The reason he owed me a favor was pretty big and he didn’t want to fuck up paying me back.”
“What was it?” I curiously wondered aloud.
Daniel shook his head and darkly said, “Don’t ask.”
I knew it was probably something huge if Daniel wasn’t willing to talk about it, but I figured I’d wait until the two of us were alone before I pushed him. It’d be wrong of me to badger him in front of Luke—someone he hardly knew.
The car ride was filled with very little chatter and I knew Luke was probably as lost in thought as I was. There was a growing sense of dread rising in my gut and I didn’t know any way to quell it—telling myself everything was going to be okay did nothing.
The only thing that was going to make this better was ripping off the Band-Aid and just... seeing what was left. I could only pray that my dad was cooled down and that this would go at least fairly smoothly.
“Here we are,” Daniel announced as we pulled onto my street. “You sure about this?”
“No, but we really don’t have a choice,” I miserably stated. “You can drop us at the street. Do you mind keeping the bags in your trunk? Even if this magically goes well, I don’t see us staying here tonight.”
“And it’ll probably be better if it doesn’t look like we’re crawling back to them,” Luke chimed in from the back seat.
Daniel nodded. “Not a problem. But you sure you want me to drop and run? I can wait around.”
“Nah. When we’re ready to go, we’ll just go. I’ll shoot you a text and meet y
ou at the same intersection as last time?”
Daniel pulled the car to the curb in front of my house and gave me a ridiculous salute. “Yes, ma’am. I’ll be waiting in the wings.”
My nose scrunched up and I slightly shook my head. “That doesn’t sound right, you’re mixing up references. You should have said—”
“Jenna.”
I turned back to face Luke, noticing that he was staring out the window and up towards the house. I slowly turned my head and sighed when I saw Clara stepping onto the porch, my dad lurking in the shadows behind her.
“I guess we’ll see you later,” I said to Daniel as I twisted to open the passenger door.
“Good luck.”
Once we were on the sidewalk, Daniel drove away and it left us in a super awkward standoff. My dad had joined Clara on the porch and was staring our way, and Luke and I were lingering on the sidewalk, both too unsure to take the first step forward.
“Why’s this so hard?” I whispered.
“Did you expect it to be easy?”
“No, but... I don’t know. Let’s just get it over with.”
I glanced to my left and saw Luke’s small smile before I felt his hand take my own. I twisted our fingers together and we slowly made our way to the porch.
Any smugness my dad would’ve felt about us showing up must have been killed by the fact that we were together. I could see his eyes narrowing the closer we got and I was suddenly terrified that this meeting was going to get violent. I froze, Luke turning back to look at me questioningly.
“If things start getting heated, please don’t hit him,” I quietly begged. “Please don’t let things get violent.”
“I won’t, I swear,” he assured me before lightly tugging my wrist to pull me forward.
“Hey, you two,” Clara greeted us hesitantly once we were within a few feet of the porch.
“Hey, Mom. Bill,” Luke greeted with a nod. “It’s... good to see you both.”
Dad snorted. “I wish I could say the same.”
“Dad—”
He held up a hand and cut me off. “Jenna, don’t. Of course I’m happy to see you. But not the two of you... together,” he said sourly, his eyes landing on the top edge of the partially hidden marks on my neck.
Dad was seething as Clara calmly said, “Let’s go inside, huh? Bill?”
“Fine,” he grunted, turning around without another word and marching into the house.
Luke and I trailed behind his mom, who flashed us a brief, hesitant smile before she led us to where my dad was already waiting for us in the living room. We took a seat on the couch and Luke let go of my hand when he noticed how hard my dad was shooting daggers at the spot.
I tried not to let it get to me, but it still made me sad to lose the bit of contact that was seemingly giving me strength. I took a deep breath and waited for the shouting.
“We’re getting married in three weeks,” Clara informed us. “A very small wedding held over at the vineyard. They had an opening so we took it.”
“That wonderful,” I told her honestly, then paused for a moment as a thought crossed my mind. “Are we invited?”
“That depends. Is this thing still going to be going on by then?” Dad asked, waving his hand between the two of us.
“Yes,” Luke ground out, the irritation clear as day on his face. “So I suggest you get used to it if you want to remain a part of your daughter’s life.”
It sent my dad into a rage. “Now listen here, you little shit—”
“Bill!” Clara exclaimed. “I won’t sit here and let you speak to my son like that. How would you like it if I said something like that to Jenna?”
He was still pissed, but I could see him slightly deflate at her words. He held up his hands in a gesture of surrender, silently agreeing to let her do most of the talking since he obviously hadn’t cooled down yet.
Clara cleared her throat and looked at us. “How have you two been? I’ve been worried sick about both of you.”
“We’re fine,” Luke assured his mother, his eyes darting over to my dad for a brief second before he continued. “We’re both fine. Freddy managed to get me a job working with him on a construction site for the next few weeks. I start tomorrow. I’m hoping to impress the supervisor enough to land some future work.”
“That’s great news, Luke! Where are you staying?”
“We’ve been at a motel for the past few nights and Frieda said we’re welcome to spend a few over there while we look for a place,” I informed them, not wanting Luke to have to answer all the questions coming our way.
My dad’s gaze darkened. “A place?”
I swallowed hard. “Yeah. I’m going to use the money I have saved up for the deposit.”
“And once I have paychecks rolling in, the rent won’t be a problem. It’s not going to be the Taj Mahal, but we’ll make it work.”
Once he finished his sentence, he took ahold of my hand again and I smiled.
“What about school?” Dad asked, his eyes stuck once again on our joined hands.
“I’m going to apply for grants and see if I can get in at the community college.”
“What? You’re an honor student! You were accepted into three Ivy League schools!” my dad shouted as he stood up. “You’re better than this, Jenna. You have options. Think about your future!”
This was what I had been expecting, what I had prepared for in the car. I turned my chin up and stared at him defiantly. “I know I have options and I have thought about my future. I’ve made my choice.”
“And what choice is that, sweetie?” Clara asked quietly while I watched my father’s face getting redder and redder.
“I choose Luke.”
“This is bullshit. I can’t even—”
“Will you please let me finish?!” I yelled, letting go of Luke’s hand and standing up to better meet my father’s gaze. “God, you never listen to what I have to say! If it doesn’t fit in with your plan, then my opinion means nothing to you!”
His eyes softened a fraction. “Jen, that’s not true.”
“Then listen to me,” I said, stressing the words. “I. Choose. Luke. I didn’t mean for this to happen—I didn’t. But I can’t control who I fall in love with,” I said with a helpless shake of my head. We had yet to say the words aloud to each other, but I felt like Luke already knew and that made it easier. “If you really can’t accept this, then I’ll gladly skip the Ivy League and go to school here. My future is with Luke, regardless of anything else.”
Dad’s jaw clenched. He had listened, but obviously still wasn’t sold. “You’re too young to know what love is,” he feebly argued. “You have no idea—”
“Well, I’m not,” Luke said as he stood up. “Thanks for the concern, but I think I’m plenty old enough and have had enough experience to know what love is. This is real.”
“You think you love her?” he whispered, narrowing his eyes. “If you really loved her, you wouldn’t let her throw away her life for you.”
“That wasn’t my choice to make. Hell, it wasn’t even hers. It was yours.”
“Excuse me?”
“I was fully prepared to go with her to Connecticut and find work up there. You were the one who chose to react this way,” he said as he tightly gripped my hand. “We’ve decided to be together, whether you support it or not. We’ll sacrifice whatever we need to in order to keep each other.”
Finally—finally—the sincerity and severity of our feelings for each other started to sink in to my father’s mind. I watched him frown thoughtfully—clearly still angry, but unable to find anything to use as ammo against us. We had laid it out and he couldn’t continue to argue any longer.
Now it was his turn to make a choice.
Luke, Clara, and I were all holding our breath as we watched him slowly sink back down into his armchair and lean forward, burying his face in his hands.
“I’ll send you school,” he finally said with a resigned sigh. “But I’m not payin
g for an apartment so you two can—can—whatever. I’ll pay for a dorm room if you need it, otherwise you can figure it out yourself.”
“Are you serious?” I asked in disbelief. I honestly couldn’t say I had been expecting such an offer. I hadn’t been expecting anything really, except lots of yelling.
“Yeah. Yeah... It’s pretty clear that I’m not going to be able to change your mind,” he admitted as he looked up at us. “But let me be clear. I do not support this and I don’t want to see it, especially at the wedding. Those are my terms.”
“Just to clarify, you mean you want us to not act like a couple at the wedding and around you in general?”
“Exactly.”
“Done,” Luke answered as he dropped my hand. I gave him a dry look and he shrugged. “Don’t be upset. The terms are fair, everyone is happy.”
“I wouldn’t go that far,” dad muttered.
Clara’s mood wasn’t dampened by my father though. “Oh, you two! I’m so happy!” she exclaimed as she rushed over to give us both an awkward hug. “I can’t wait for the wedding. I’m not having bridesmaids, Jen, otherwise I’d ask you to be one. But it’ll be so great to have everyone there and getting along!”
“Don’t push it.”
“Oh, don’t be such a grump, Bill,” she said with an exaggerated eye roll that reminded me of Daniel. “They agreed to keep the PDA away from you.”
Dad grunted. “I’d be happier if my daughter’s neck was free of those... marks.”
Clara turned to me and gasped when she noticed. I clasped my hand over the skin, a blush rising to my cheeks at the same time as hers did.
“Oh—Oh my. Well, can you, um... tone that down until after the wedding?”
Luke laughed as I nodded my head, clearly mortified.
“We, uh—we should get going. Frieda’s making dinner for us, so...” I trailed off, wishing the embarrassment would come to an end.
“Do you need a ride?” Clara asked.
“No, Daniel’s coming back. We can head out whenever.”
I could tell by the look on her face that she wanted us to stay, but I was pretty certain that Luke agreed with my thoughts of not pushing our luck by overstaying our welcome. My dad was still quietly scrubbing his face and I figured it would be better for us to go and give him some privacy to process everything.
Hunger (A Stepbrother Romance Novel) Page 14