If it meant protecting herself, she would have shot that woman head on, even if it meant injuring her—worse, killing her. Emma didn’t know her, didn’t have any obligation to her. She had been in the wrong, trying to steal what wasn’t hers and refusing to back down even when facing down the muzzle of a gun. Emma could almost argue the woman had even been asking for it, in a way. She not only refused to back down, Emma was pretty sure the woman had intended to come at her with her bat. Emma could have gotten injured because the woman was acting stupid. If she had shot her then, it would have been self-defense, and no one could have blamed her for that.
But that she could have shot someone deliberately, no matter the situation... The thought made her body shiver before she shoved it away.
Focus on the situation. No need to borrow more trouble.
No, she currently had enough that borrowing more really wouldn’t be helpful to her. She would like nothing better than to put this situation off, but could she afford to? As much as she would like to pretend it never happened, she knew there would likely be consequences. Somehow, she had to prepare.
She wondered if it was possible that the woman was all right, even though it seemed like a small wound. But what if it had been more serious than Emma could tell? What if the cuts got infected? Emma wasn’t sure what the town medical supply issue was like after she and Chase couldn’t get help from outside. Either way, if the injury was worse, or got worse, or not, it wouldn’t change the fact that Emma herself had been the cause of it. And then she had run away from it. Even though she had run to check another disturbance, she still left a bleeding woman, one she'd harmed herself, without a second thought and had been intending to even before she thought there was some new trouble.
Emma was afraid. That was her biggest problem right then—her fear that the woman could tell someone what she did, and that she would be arrested for attempted murder.
No way, she huffed in her mind. There was just no way. First, the woman wouldn’t even know her. It hadn't been dark, they'd each had a clear view of each other, but Emma didn’t know the other woman, and this made her hopeful. Still, there was no real way to know. It wasn’t so small a town that everyone would know everyone else. She'd lived there her whole life and she didn’t know everyone in her neighborhood, let alone closer to town.
But with the situation as it was currently, Emma had been getting around. With the volunteer work she'd been doing, the bust deal with Mayor Williams that cost them food, even if it was bad... not to mention being at the center of town helping out after the crash, showing up at the makeshift hospital. Emma was getting around a lot more than she had been when all she had to do was get to work and get home, with the occasional, but rare, trip to go out with Chase or one of her few 'dates.' There was no way she could tell who had, and who hadn't, seen her. It may not be enough to ID her, but it was enough to make her body tremble at the possibilities.
Emma didn’t want to get arrested. She wasn’t sure what they would do to her, she wasn’t sure they could send her to a prison. They only had the cells in the police station locally, any convicted criminals were usually shipped out to the nearest prison. Emma hadn't thought of the state of such places with everything that was going on. If it wasn’t safe outside, would it be any safer in one of those places? The idea that she could be locked up with a bunch of dangerous, hungry people had her curling up under her covers and whimpering in fright.
With the turn her thoughts had now taken, there was no way she could fall asleep.
Fearful, Emma got out of bed and got dressed. Time had passed, even if she hadn't been aware of it. It wasn't as dark as it had been when she went to bed. She moved slowly, stealthily, making sure not to wake Chase as she moved around the room, then leaving the house as quietly as she could.
She stopped outside, took a deep breath, and released it in a gust.
Now what?
The woman couldn’t still be where Emma had left her, but she had nowhere else to start looking. So Emma went back to the scene of the shooting to try and find the woman. The sun hadn't come out of the horizon when she left, but it was still fairly light out. She did feel better when she didn’t encounter anyone on the way. The way she felt, she wasn’t sure she wouldn’t just giver herself away by being careless.
It was cold, and the jacket she'd pulled on didn’t feel like enough, even as she wrapped the fabric and her own arms tight around her body. She still trembled lightly, and Emma wondered if it was the cold or her emotions that caused it. Perhaps a bit of both. Her breaths were shaky, her heart beat fairly normal but still sending anxious waves through her body, making the unease grow in her stomach. It felt like no time at all before she got onto the street she remembered from last night. Her feet slowed against her will. She needed to get this over with, ignoring it wouldn’t make it go away, but she wasn’t in any hurry, either. Still, now that she was there, even though she wanted to, she couldn’t just turn right around and go back. She picked up the pace a bit, resolving to get it done as quickly as possible so she could get back home.
Outside the shop that the woman was trying to rob, there was a pool of blood. It was more than Emma would have thought, though she'd been trying very hard not to. The woman must have stuck around after Emma left. Even with the makeshift bandage she'd tied on, the woman had bled, a lot. The small pool didn’t look all dried up, and she wondered how long the woman had stayed there and just how much she had bled. Coming from a human, especially one as thin and malnourished as the one she'd met last night, it was definitely serious.
Dammit!
Emma took another breath, and it was undeniably shaky. She probably should have stuck around and done something, running away probably just made her seem even more guilty. She was tempted again to just let this go, but she couldn’t. The woman was seriously hurt, Emma had to make sure she was at least okay.
The pool of blood had a trail that Emma followed. It led into an alleyway, and she paused for a moment, before making herself walk closer. She half expected to find her hurt behind the bins, or something. But the trail seemed to end, and there was no sign of the woman. She even walked around a little, looking for something, though she wasn’t sure what, but there was nothing to find. After walking around, looking in every dark corner she came across, she was back to the shop, where she started.
There was nothing.
Where could she have gone?
Her heart was beating harder now, truly worried. She should have noticed the woman was too badly injured, but Emma hadn't thought it was quite this serious at the time. Had the bandages even held? With all the blood the woman seemed to have lost, Emma had the sinking feeling she could have died.
And it was my fault.
But she pushed the thought out of her mind and gave her head a hard shake. No. She couldn’t think of that now. The woman couldn’t be dead. Somehow, she'd gotten herself out of the area. Or... it was possible someone else might have seen her. There had been a lot of people out in the time she'd left. It wasn’t out of the question that some of them had come through this way and come across her. If she was so badly injured...
There was only one real option left. Emma decided it was the most likely; she should go to the hospital and see if the woman was taken in.
With a new plan of action, she moved forward. Her heart still beat out of control, but there was something like hope. It would be better for her if the woman died, but Emma didn’t think she could handle it if that happened. Even by accident, she didn’t want to be a killer. She was almost running now, hurrying to prove her idea correct. She wouldn’t think of any other possibility right then. The woman had to be all right.
She got to the hospital, and the situation had changed since the last time she was there. For one, there weren’t as many people. The noise wasn’t completely gone, but it was definitely quieter than her last time there, though the smell was still just as bad. No one was there to meet her as she cautiously waked into the area. She scanned
the hospital and felt relief when she found Carol. She raised her hand in a wave to try and get the other woman's attention. It took a moment, but Carol saw her and seemed to recognize her. She must not have been too busy, because she walked toward her without hesitation.
"Well, I can't say I ever expected to see you again," she said dryly, pulling the gloves off her hands and stuffing them in a pocket. "It's been a while, Emma."
She kept her own hands under her arms, still holding herself. "I'm not here for the volunteer work, though. I was given other jobs." She shrugged in an awkward jerk. "I just wanted to check in on someone."
Carol looked curious. "Someone you know made it in here?"
Emma hesitated slightly, wondering how to word it. "Not someone I know personally. I just wanted to ask if anyone with glass wounds was brought in?"
She held herself stiffly, hoping Carol wouldn’t notice just how anxious she was. She still looked curious, but just shrugged and looked around.
"There was one person. Follow me."
She led Emma through the hospital. Her mind wanted to relive her previous experience, but she blocked it and kept her eyes on Carol's back. She only looked up when they came to a stop.
Emma recognized her right away. As soon as she saw her face, she knew, and she felt her breath hitch. It was the woman she shot. At first, she wasn’t sure what she felt, several emotions clamoring for attention at once—there was relief that the woman was still alive, worry because she looked terrible and it was Emma's fault, anxiety because she didn’t want to get caught and blamed, no matter how warranted. Somehow, she kept her face blank and looked over the other woman.
She wasn’t moving, and her eyes were closed. Her skin was so pale and there were dark shadows under her closed eyes. She looked dead, or dying. But the only reason she was still there was because she was still alive and with a fighting chance.
Emma had stuck around the last time long enough to know what they did with the bodies once people died. Bodies couldn’t be allowed to take up room, so they were moved away from the rest of the survivors. The hospital was hardly sterilized, but Carol had told her it was possible for the dead bodies to carry diseases so they had to be disposed of quickly before they began to decompose. Emma had been horrified. The possibility was one of the many things that kept her away from the hospital after she'd left the last time.
"Will she be okay?"
She didn't mean to speak, but the words were out before she could call them back, and she waited for an answer anyway, turning her eyes to Carol. Her eyes were narrowed, but Emma wouldn’t let herself react visibly. The look worried her, but she had to admit to herself that she was acting suspicious, after all.
"I think so. It's hard to tell, really, especially since she might just have an infection. With the small cuts on her, she would have been out fast, but she lost a bit of blood on the way here. We gave her some antibiotics, supplies aren’t good but I am hoping that we can get her better." Her eyes narrowed further as she turned fully to face Emma, crossing her arms over her chest. "Do you know her?"
Emma felt herself shrink back from the look, before going still and straightening out. "No, not really. I was just out last night, with my sister and there was some commotion in the streets..."
Carol didn’t look appeased. "You asked for this woman's injury specifically. She'd the only one here with glass injuries brought in last night. Why are you so interested in this woman?"
Emma's anxiety spiked. There was no way Carol would know, but paranoia had her wanting to run out of there. It would be stupid, and only serve to make her look suspicious, but there was no way she could have stayed and subjected herself to further questioning. She knew she would have broken down and said something damning anyway, so running was the better option.
"There's no reason," she rushed out, her feet already moving, and she left the hospital in a hurry.
Chapter 3
Emma was out in the back yard again the next day, helping Janice with her gardening. There were likely other things she could have been doing, but since this had brought her such peace before, and she felt she needed it, she got up early and waited for her grandmother before suggesting it. Luckily, she didn’t have to wait for long. Janice had, of course, readily agreed and followed her out.
They'd been outside for some time, but it was still early enough for the air to be crisp, almost cold, though she could tell the sun had risen. She held herself back for as long as she could, but Emma was practically bursting at the seams. She didn’t just want to ply with dirt—what she had really wanted was the alone time with her grandmother.
"Grandma?" she called tentatively, barely keeping the anxiety out of her voice.
Janice hummed, sending her a curious glance.
"Can I talk to you?"
They both stilled and Janice looked up to meet her eyes. Her grandmother wasn’t confused, she actually looked at Emma with her usual intelligence, and she knew her grandmother could tell this was why she'd wanted to come out here. Not just for the peace, but for someone to talk to.
She could just as easily have gone to Chase. She usually did. They were so close, she talked to him about most of everything. But this time, she wanted a different opinion. Chase knew her, but he didn’t know her family. And if it was him, he would do his best to say whatever made Emma feel better. He wouldn’t sugar coat anything for her, he rarely ever did, but comforting her would be his first priority. Emma didn’t need that right then, not really. Her grandmother had been there for all of it, and though she wasn’t lucid at the best of times these days, Emma just needed her opinion on something specific. Janice knew her grandchildren—when she could remember them, but Emma was sure she did right then.
"What is it? What happened?"
Her brow furrowed in worry. Emma wished she could tell her not to worry, but she wasn’t sure herself whether or not there was need to.
"I wanted to talk about Merry."
It wasn’t the only thing, but she didn’t think it would be a good idea to tell her ailing grandmother she'd nearly killed someone. Emma could just imagine her horror and disappointment. That was something she would tell Chase, later. But this was something she could confide in Janice about Merry's actions.
"What happened with your sister?"
Emma wiped her hands together and sat back on her heels, sighing. What wasn’t happening with Merry recently? Emma could still remember her last talk with Merry, how easy she had been to talk about Janice’s death, that she couldn’t survive the new world. Emma was reluctant to agree, even though it was valid, but the way her sister said it like it was an inevitable conclusion... and then meeting Merry outside.
"I was out last night. I was supposed to be doing some volunteer work for the town, and I was, but then something happened."
"What?"
"Did you know Merry went outside?"
Janice looked surprised. "Your sister did?"
"She did." Emma nodded. "She was right in the middle of town inciting a crowd. I don’t know exactly what she was telling them, I didn’t hear a lot of it, but she sounded like some fanatic. I don’t know if it's because her mental condition is getting worse, or... I don’t know what to do about her."
The confession grated, it really shouldn’t be her job to look after her sister, but if she didn’t, who else would? The world as it currently was made everything dangerous. Merry had claimed their grandmother wouldn’t survive in the new world, but Emma had failed to ask about Merry herself.
No matter what she knew, what she thought she saw, Merry was weak. She was thin, always short on sleep. Emma often wondered just how her sister still moved around looking like she did. Emma herself didn’t eat all that much, and Merry maybe ate half of what Emma did, she always looked half-starved and swam in clothes that had fit her perfectly years ago.
However she acted, whatever she thought, Merry was going to need her. And Emma was pretty sure she wouldn’t be enough, not with her sister's condition.
Emma could have told her it wasn’t her fault, even though it sort of was. Emma herself wouldn’t have blamed her, but plenty others would have since she was their guardian. A few people had insinuated Merry didn’t have an opinion on whether she needed psychiatric help or not because of her poor mental health. Quite a few people, most of them former friends of their parents, had insisted that Janice, as Merry's new guardian—even though she was an adult by then—it was Janice’s decision to get her therapy.
They would blame Janice for allowing Merry to have her own choices. But Janice would never have sent her away, either, knowing Merry would have been miserable after just losing her parents.
"I'm aware of my own mental deterioration," she admitted, fiddling with her fingers as she looked down at her lap. "I'm not always aware of it, but sometimes I realize, and it scares me. There are times when I don’t remember things, and sometimes I remember them later, and it's horrible, because I can remember what it does to you that I forget. I'm so sorry Emma, you have no idea how much, that everything has been pushed onto your shoulders because of the both of us, but I can't control Merry on my own."
Emma sighed, leaning over to drag her grandmother in for a hug, not caring about the dirt. "I didn’t mean that you had to. I don’t think even the both of us could handle it, we don’t know how." She bit her lip, thinking. "I'll ask around and see if anyone in the area might be able to help. We don’t have to do it on our own."
Powerless | Book 2 | Aftermath Page 2