by Con Template
Tae Hyun instinctively pulled her closer to him when a stream of water edged closer to her pants. “Why aren’t you hanging out with her right now?”
Yoori took a moment to suppress the tingling sensations that surged through her when she felt the warmth of his body. It felt nice to be closer to him.
“Oh, she and Jae Won had dinner plans,” Yoori provided, blushing uncontrollably. She hated that the slight grazing of his fingers reminded her of their dance – their kiss. She struggled to answer, her mind venturing back to their night under the gazebo. “I – I didn’t want to intervene…you know? ‘Cause…you know…couples need their time alone...”
Yoori wasn’t certain if Tae Hyun was aware of the awkwardness she exuded. If he wasn’t aware then he was really oblivious and if he knew, he did a good job of hiding it.
“Yeah, I just spoke to Hae Jin. She has dinner plans too.” He smiled to himself. “Apparently everyone has dinner plans tonight.” His eyes momentarily roamed around the balcony before they landed on the teacup Yoori held. After that, the charismatic lure of his brown eyes fell on hers. “This is some dinner we’re having, huh?”
There was a magnetic smile on his face, one that was so playful and innocent that Yoori couldn’t help but adore it.
“I like it out here,” she assured him with sparkles in her eyes. She continued to sip from the teacup. The heavenly drops of the tea continued to warm her body.
“I’ve been thinking,” Tae Hyun shared steadily, garnering Yoori’s undivided attention. Like magnets their eyes were locked. “I’ve been thinking that…aside from that Italian dinner we had awhile back…I’ve never really done anything special with you for dinner…”
A mental gasp vocalized in Yoori’s befuddled mind. She was thankful for the drumming of the rain. It did a wonderful job of overshadowing the drumming of her own heart. Was Tae Hyun talking about taking her out on an actual date? She listened intently as he went on, his eyes tentative while he spoke to her. To Yoori, Tae Hyun had never seemed so nervous about something in his life. Now that she thought about it, she, too, had never been so nervous (and strangely excited) when it came to listening to someone.
He uncomfortably scratched the back of his head. “I mean…I think it might be nice if I took you out and treated you to a nice dinner or something. Or…I don’t know, I guess I can cook for you as well and just eat here. I could probably take out some candles to give a nice ambiance or somethin—”
He stopped talking.
He stared quietly at a confused Yoori. His eyes dimmed of warmness and brimmed with a flood of guilt. It looked as though a thrash of reality had hurdled itself in his face. It was then that Yoori, in the midst of still trying to figure out what was happening with her heart, realized that there was something Tae Hyun wanted to tell her as well – something he had been dreading to do.
It was at that precise moment where Yoori hated her instincts the most. She hated the feel of her gut heaving in agony. She hated that she could anticipate something terrible before it happened. She hated that this terrible moment was the one moment where she had to tell Tae Hyun everything. She started to panic. She couldn't let Tae Hyun continue to speak without telling him everything first. She couldn’t let this dream go on anymore. She couldn’t let herself, or Tae Hyun for that matter, plunge any deeper without knowing what they were getting themselves into.
The same stream of reasoning was also visible in Tae Hyun’s reeling mind. He wore the same countenance as hers. It was a countenance that spoke of guilt. It was a countenance that spoke of the extreme desire to let out a burning secret that had been consuming him.
“Yoori…”
“Tae Hyun…”
They spoke at the same time. Their voices throbbed with pure angst.
“There’s something I want to talk to you about,” they finished together, their breathing synchronized in apprehension.
Thrown by the identical statement they posed, Tae Hyun nodded at Yoori. “Go first.”
The rain started to pour aggressively unto the world beneath it. There was no more peace around them.
Yoori shook her head. She was not ready. The dread in her stomach began to boil at this point. It was like her insides were begging her to not tell him anything.
“No, you go ahead,” she insisted, wanting to give herself more time to think.
Though Yoori was in the midst of her own internal conflicts, she was also aware of how torn Tae Hyun seemed to be with himself.
“I….” he started unsteadily, staring into her big brown eyes. There was remorse in the King of Serpent’s voice. It was unlike any tone she’d ever heard from him. “I’ve been keeping something from you.”
Yoori instantly froze.
The earthshattering roar of the monstrous thunder could be heard in the near distance. The rain grew more violent with thrashes of wind accompanying the worsening storm.
“Wh – What have you been keeping from me?” Yoori stammered, blinking fearfully. Her worried gaze never left his. Wariness plagued all her senses. What had he been keeping from her? Why did he look so troubled – so guilty?
Upon seeing the fear in her curious eyes, Tae Hyun shook his head, regretting bringing all this up.
“Never mind,” his quiet voice muttered out. He shifted his eyes onto an undetected area of the balcony.
Tae Hyun’s cryptic words spun in her mind, stealing every ounce of warmth from her body. As her heartbeat slowed in fear, Yoori forgot about her obligations to tell him what she needed to tell him. She only cared about him and the secret he had kept from her.
“Tae Hyun,” Yoori said without delay. She gently shook him to get him to look at her.
At her touch, Tae Hyun relinquished his gaze from the balcony and returned his eyes to hers. Though guilt was present in his eyes, there was a different light of conviction to it.
“You can’t start off with, ‘I’ve been keeping something from you’ and end it right there. You have to tell me – ”
“I know that you look like An Soo Jin.”
A paralyzing dread appeared inside Yoori. Her pale eyes were wide from shock and dismay. Through her uneasiness, Yoori’s lungs struggled for breath. She used all the strength she had to further question Tae Hyun.
“What?” she gasped.
Noting the distraught state he left her in, he turned away from her. The light of conviction in his eyes grew dimmer. “I – ”
“I thought you never met An Soo Jin,” Yoori interjected, the light of fire igniting in her eyes.
Did he lie about never meeting Soo Jin? Did he —
“I haven’t,” he assured before her train of thoughts trekked any further. He turned back to face her. His eyes were unyielding with truth. He paused for another moment before adding, “But I do know that you look like her.”
Before Yoori’s distressed self could even begin to question what he meant, Tae Hyun elaborated. A distant grumbling of thunder accompanied his voice.
“The night of your initiation, after you left, the Advisors met with Ji Hoon and me. They told me of your resemblance – your uncanny resemblance to An Soo Jin to be exact. A resemblance that is so uncanny…that they are completely sure that you are her. They went on to say that Soo Jin was a trained killer and a ruthlessly trained one at that. They said she – you – could never be trusted – ”
“That it would be the biggest mistake of your life if you did,” Yoori provided brokenly, the truth stabbing into her like daggers.
They told him?
They actually told him?
Her heart raced in relentless fear. She could feel her heart beg her to not tell him anything. She could feel it beg her to keep quiet so that she wouldn’t push Tae Hyun away.
Tae Hyun nodded. He was unaware of the internal war taking form within Yoori. He turned away from her. His eyes fixated on the rain-infested city before him. Streaks of lighting embalmed the dark sky. The bright white lights reflected upon their pale faces while the wind c
ontinued to ravage the world.
Wasps of a sickening horror multiplied within Yoori. She struggled for breath underneath the storm that took place in her body.
She knew it.
This was the moment to tell him. It was a terrible moment, but the moment nonetheless. She couldn’t steal anymore borrowed time. The inevitable had come…
Tae Hyun continued to speak over the raging storm. “It sounds ridiculous when I think about what they said. I mean, even Ji Hoon said that they were out of their minds.” He scoffed to himself. “I told them that I couldn’t give two shits who you look like – that it doesn’t matter who you resemble. The only thing that matters is that I know you and I know that I can trust you. I know that you’re not her. You could never be her.”
The last of his words swam in Yoori’s mind.
It drowned her…
“I know that you’re not her. You could never be her.”
It acted as the last tug for Yoori. It was the last tug that Yoori needed to tell Tae Hyun everything.
The silence became her hellish cue.
“Tae Hyun,” she said quietly, struggling to steady her trembling voice.
Her body shook harder. Despite all the perseverance of her instincts commanding her not to say anything, she struggled to find her voice. Then, when she felt her voice brim at the upper height of her throat, Yoori knew this was it. Once she shared these words with Tae Hyun, there was no going back. She could no longer live in her dream world. She had to wake up and face her horrific reality. She knew all of this, yet she was ready.
Feeling the weight of the entire world on her chest, she finally spoke those excruciating words...
“I’m An Soo Jin.”
Tae Hyun froze like a statue.
Like the darkness of the night’s sky, the residual warmness in his eyes grew faint as dimness took its place.
The rumbling world, though loud by nature, wasn’t powerful enough to steal their undivided attention from one another.
To both their ears, the whole world had collapsed into silence.
To them, the whole world no longer existed.
Slowly, purposely, and hesitantly, Tae Hyun returned his gaze to a distressed Yoori. The only emotions decipherable in his eyes were shock and disbelief.
It was then, as her heart pounded against her chest, that Yoori knew that this was going to be one of the most terrible conversations she would have in her life.
“What did you just say?” he asked slowly. His wary, yet stern eyes bore into hers. There was a glint within his gaze that told her he was silently praying that he heard wrong.
Yoori had the chance to stop there. She had the chance to lie to him and tell him she was joking. She had the chance but, no matter how painful it was for her, she couldn’t back out now. She trusted Tae Hyun too much to keep this from him.
“I have amnesia,” she provided, her voice breaking at every syllable.
Yoori took in a sharp breath as she watched the warmness vacate Tae Hyun’s body.
“You – You have amnesia…” he repeated disbelievingly. He inhaled sharply before asking, “How long?”
“3 years,” Yoori breathed out.
Though she didn’t give Tae Hyun much to go on, he was a very smart individual. She didn’t give him much information, but he would figure out everything regardless.
Tae Hyun took in another sharp breath. If the light of realization in his eyes gave any indication, it was clear to Yoori that he understood that Soo Jin’s “death” was a fraud and something occurred to turn her into…Yoori.
Yoori watched him painfully. He sat beside her physically, but she could see that he was drifting further and further away from her emotionally. The way he looked at her made her feel like there were knives being carved at her skin. He stared at her like she was a complete stranger to him.
A tense silence loomed between them. The only buffers of sounds shared in their environment were the sobs and screams of the night’s sky. As a flood of rain deluged more violently from above, Tae Hyun, without any warning, turned away from her and tore himself out from beneath the table. With unmatched speed, he began toward the door.
“Tae Hyun!” Yoori called after him, throwing her blanket aside. The teacup spilled onto the surface of the balcony when she got up after him. The contents of the tea Tae Hyun made for her mixed fiercely with the spiteful rain.
Though she had thrown herself from underneath the table, Yoori found herself unable to run after Tae Hyun. She was too overwhelmed to run after him. It took only seconds for her entire body to become drenched under the merciless rain.
She watched his hand make contact with the lever of the sliding door. However awful it was for her to stand there like that, her body freezing from the cold, the spiteful weather was nothing compared to the coldness of how Tae Hyun treated her.
He had never treated her like this.
“Tae Hyun, please wait,” she finally whispered when he was about to pull the door open.
Her voice barely made a sound above the thunderous storm. It was hardly audible to the world around them. It was hardly audible, yet it was enough to cause Tae Hyun to stop in his tracks. She knew then Tae Hyun didn’t hear her voice, but her pain.
He stood in place, his back turned to her. His chest heaved up and down.
Yoori didn’t know how long they stood there, completely soaked in the storm. It must’ve been awhile because her body grew so numb that she stopped shaking. It must’ve been awhile because even her heart grew numb as it waited nervously for Tae Hyun.
Tae Hyun, she begged in her mind, her eyes never leaving him. Please talk to me.
As though hearing her unspoken plea, he finally spoke.
“You’re An Soo Jin…” He whipped around to face her. His face was completely drenched from water and pale from disbelief. “You were An Soo Jin all along.”
“I – I didn’t know I was her,” Yoori uttered, her voice fighting to keep steady. She felt the pent up emotions simmer within her...waiting...just waiting to erupt.
Tae Hyun scoffed doubtfully. “You were plagued with amnesia 3 years ago, the exact same time as when An Soo Jin ‘died,’ and you didn’t think for one moment that you were her?” His voice was shrouded with skepticism.
Another growl of thunder echoed in the abyss sky.
Awakened by the thunderous judgment in his own voice, Tae Hyun closed his eyes in dread, regretting using that tone with her.
However regretful he looked, the tone of his voice was the straw that broke the camel’s back.
Her lips quivering uncontrollably, Yoori snapped.
“Do you think I want this?” she shouted. Remnants of rain dripped off her. Her body shook in anger. “Do you think I want you to look at me like this? Do you think I want to be her?” Her eyes bubbled with tears. “You have no idea how much I’ve tried to avoid this moment. Deep down, even though I knew all along, I kept on denying everything because it pained me to even try and remember anything. For months, I ignored the fucking obvious, all the clues because I didn’t want to be her!”
Yoori paused to rub her hands against her eyes, making sure that no tears escaped. Her chest heaved violently. Once she was done, Yoori took a second to avert her red-shot eyes to the horizon. Her breathing grew steady. She calmed down. She placed her right hand over her left arm and began to rub it up and down. It was her own way of further calming herself down.
When she was ready to face him again, she returned her gaze to Tae Hyun
He remained as she had seen him seconds ago. He was rooted in the same position, his legs frozen to the same space and his hand still glued to the lever of the sliding door. The difference was that he wore a pained expression on his face. Yoori wasn’t sure if it was pain from finding out that she was Soo Jin or pain from seeing her in such a volatile state. However much it looked like Tae Hyun wanted to approach her and comfort her, the better part of him – his rationale – kept him rooted in his stance.
Through her pained sniffling, Yoori continued to speak. “Every time I try to remember anything, I get headaches—migraines. I don’t remember anything from her life…what she did or who she really was.” Yoori paused to rub her red-shot eyes before continuing. “I can’t remember anything…yet I can feel everything. I can feel the guilt…all her guilt.” She swallowed convulsively. “All my guilt. I hate An Soo Jin with all my heart because, at the core of my mind, I know that I’m her.” Her voice broke. “I hate that I can’t breathe without feeling the guilt rip my soul up. I hate that even when my hands are dry, I can feel blood on them. I hate An Soo Jin with all that I am because I knew that it would only be a matter of time before she poisoned my world. It would only be a matter of time before she killed me – just like she tried to kill herself.”
More than once, in the course of Yoori’s words, Tae Hyun ran his fingers through his hair with an aching expression on his face. There was so much pain and frustration in his stance. Yoori didn’t know what was running through his mind. All that she knew was that he was troubled. He was troubled and he didn’t know what to do. She blinked and waited for his reply in the rain. Never once in her life did she feel as fragile as she did at that particular moment.
“Tae Hyun,” she called softly, wanting desperately to hear his voice again.
“Why did you tell me all of this?” he finally asked, his poignant eyes locking with hers through the pouring rain. His voice, though throbbing with disbelief, was soft when he spoke to her. He swallowed tightly. “Choi Yoori, don’t you know who I am?”
A flash of pain rippled in his eyes when he said her full name. She knew from the shaking of his head that he no longer knew if it was even appropriate for him to keep calling her that.
Not allowing this to beset what he wanted to say, Tae Hyun continued to speak, a tornado of wind accompanying his stern voice. “I’m the leader of the Serpents. The one gang that An Soo Jin…” He stopped for a second. He gazed desolately at her before, much to Yoori’s dismay, correcting what he said. “The one gang that you despise the most.”
He scoffed to himself, his voice suddenly elevating with the purest of frustration. “Why would you tell me all of this? Don’t you know that I could fucking kill you right now?”