***
I’m in bed, lying flat on my back, staring at the stark white ceiling. Everything I’ve learned today swirls around my mind. A part of me feels like taking back all the bad things I’ve ever said about the government because in this moment I freaking love the authorities. For the last few months, all I’ve imagined is the prospect of Thalassic City and that something like this might happen. Now I’m here and it’s the incarnation of all my dreams come true. Vin suggested exploring all options before making our decision, but I already know what mine will be.
I want to go back to school.
Maybe Jenna is right: I am weird, but this is all I’ve ever wanted, and there’s no way I’m passing up the opportunity to indulge my heart’s desire.
A couple of frustrated hours later, I swing my legs out the side of my bed and wrap my robe firmly around my body.
I’ve given up on the illusion of sleep.
My brain is too fired up and I can’t switch off. I’ve heard somewhere that reading helps quiet the mind, so I tiptoe to the windowed library room and inspect the collection of books on offer.
It’s surreal to be able to walk about at night in the warmth and the light. Owing to concerns over the depletion of natural resources, the authorities imposed a fuel restriction a few years ago. In the Outer Circle, electricity cuts out nightly at ten p.m., and we are without power for eight hours. I’ve grown accustomed to going to bed early and reading by torchlight. So, this is a total novelty.
I’ve just made a startling revelation: There is such a thing as too much choice. I stand in front of the shelving unit, not knowing where to look. There are so many books that I don’t know where to start. Picking up Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland, I quickly read the blurb on the back and decide it’s the perfect read considering I’m on my own little adventure.
Settling onto the window seat, I lean back and flick the first page.
I’m engrossed in the book, and I’ve lost all track of time, when a burning compulsion to lift my head overcomes me. Staring out the window, I spot a lone form across the way. Examining the calm span of water that separates us, I only now notice other windows across the space.
All the units appear to be constructed around this circular column of water.
A recognizable figure stands at the window directly across from mine, looking pensive. Oh my God, it’s him! The hottie from the cafeteria! His muscular arms flatten against the glass pane as he stares directly into my eyes.
My pulse throbs pleasantly. I want to turn away, need to turn away—certain that how I’m looking at him contravenes some government rule—but, like last time, I’m powerless under the magnitude of his gaze.
His lips part gently and then he dazzles me with a smile that’s jaw dropping, panty dropping, heart stopping, and beautiful all at the same time. As he waggles his fingers at me, I feel the tenuous control on my emotions shatter into a million pieces.
CHAPTER 5
We stare at each other for an indeterminable amount of time. I drink everything in: Penetrating blue eyes the color of the ocean of my imagination, inky jet-black hair that begs to be touched, and pouty lips that demand to be kissed. Every part of me swoons, and an unfamiliar hot jolt of desire spreads the length and breadth of me.
Gosh, I need to get a grip, but I’m hypnotized by the most magnetic boy I’ve ever met.
No one has ever made me feel like this.
It’s as if the world around us ceases to exist, and we’re the only two people on the planet. Crazy as it seems, I’m inexplicably drawn to him, like there’s an invisible line connecting us, pulling taut between us.
It’s totally ridiculous. I don’t even know his name, but I can’t stop looking at him. I know I’ll be so embarrassed about this in the cold light of day.
The book drops out of my hand, and the low thud snaps me out of my stupor. Bending over, I pick it up slowly, silently begging the sudden heat in my face to dissipate. I glance at the clock, shocked to discover that it’s past four a.m. I’ve lost more time than I realized. I risk one last peek at him. His eyes drill into mine, and I lose the ability to breathe, to think, to move. His face scrunches up, and his lips part as he laughs. I really need to get out of here.
Pivoting around, with all the elegance of an elephant, I stumble from the room as contradictory thoughts clutter my mind. Don’t leave. Get the hell out of here. Please stay. You’ve embarrassed yourself enough for one night.
***
I’m mulling over the entire strange episode the next morning, and my muddled brain can make no sense of it. I’m clearly unhinged—staring at a total stranger with unashamed abandon! I’m not that girl. This isn’t me! What I need to do is get a grip, stick to my plan for Thalassic City, and banish all thoughts of that boy.
Except it’s far easier said than done.
I’ve been in the training room for the last two hours, and if anyone gave me a pop-quiz on the information I’ve just read, I’d fail miserably. I’ve reread the same page on the screen at least six times, and none of the words is sinking in. Dropping my head on the desk, I emit a low moan.
“Sometimes it’s difficult being presented with so much choice,” Vin says, startling me.
Raising my head, I stare at our Adaptation Officer. He’s lounging against the side of my desk, looking perfectly at home. “It’s Sadie, right?”
I nod.
“Do you have any idea what you’d like to do once you get there?”
“Actually, I pretty much already know what I want to do,” I admit frankly, surprising myself. “I’m going to enroll in the education module.”
“Good for you.” His eyes flit to my screen. “Have you decided on any subjects?”
“Not yet. I’m having trouble concentrating today.” I clamp a hand over my errant mouth, both shocked and pleased that I’m being openly honest with him.
Vin lands a firm hand on my upper back, and I flinch at the unexpected contact. “That’s most likely a side effect of the environment.”
I don’t correct him even though I know full well that my tiredness is down to lack of sleep, a malfunctioning brain, and an inability to empty my mind of a certain hot boy who probably thinks I’ve a few lose wires somewhere.
“You should take a break, rest up, have a nap,” he suggests.
“I think I’ll do that.” I log out of the screen and exit the room.
I’ve just reached our dorm when someone calls out my name. Swiveling around, I spot the girl with the green eyes advancing toward me. “Hi Sadie,” she says, pulling up alongside me. “I wanted to formally introduce myself. I’m Neve.” Thrusting out her hand, she beams at me, as if I’m her favorite person in the universe. Her over-the-top enthusiasm is somewhat freaky, but I’m hardly one to throw stones, so I accept her proffered hand.
She loops her arm through mine, as if we do it all the time, and grins. “Shall we get a coffee?” She’s propelling me forward before I’ve actually responded, but I decide to go with the flow.
We’re seated at the far end of the kitchen, nursing cups of coffee—cappuccino for me and regular coffee for Neve. “So, Sadie,” she says, in between blowing on the billowing steam arising from her mug, “Tell me all about yourself. What Sector are you from? How many are in your family? Do you go to school or work? What age are you?”
I almost choke on my drink. It’s as if I’m at a job interview. Briefly, I wonder if this is the usual upper class way. She hands me a paper towel, and I mop up the coffee dribbling over my chin.
“That’s a lot of questions.” I gingerly sip on my cappuccino.
“Oh.” She scrunches up her face. “Is it too much?”
“No, not at all,” I rush to reassure her. “You caught me off guard. Um, I’m seventeen, and I’m from New York. I live with my mom, dad, my sister, and my two brothers. I work on the assembly line in Medi-Tech. That’s it. Not much more to me than that.”
She appears to consider this. “Do you like your job?”
�
�Not especially,” I answer truthfully. “What about you? Where are you from, and what do you do?”
“I’m Neve Dennings from Maine. I live there with my extended family, and I’m attending the University of New England. I’m studying to be a marine biologist. I’m so excited to be a part of ‘The Experimento,’ and I’m sure it’s going to be a fabulous experience.” She spits the words out lightning-fast, as if it’s a prepared speech or her standard way of introducing herself.
Before I can respond, a shadow falls over the table. Jenna’s glossy eyes meet mine. “Hey, Sadie. I was looking for you.”
“I was in the training room for a couple of hours.”
My eyes flit from Sadie to the abnormally tall boy standing next to her. Jenna is extremely tall for a girl, but this guy towers over her. His dark hair is curly at the front and shorn tight at the back and sides. A defined line zigzags through his hair on one side and I recognize the style. A few of the boys in Medi-Tech have been wearing their hair like that the last few months.
It’s the same boy who asked a question at the session yesterday. Clearly noticing me giving him the once over, he grins. “I’m Odie. Nice to meet you.”
I blush to the tips of my toes. “Sadie. Same here.”
“I’m Neve.” Neve shoves her hand in his and dazzles him with a megawatt smile.
Odie’s mouth hangs open in obvious admiration. Jenna visibly stiffens.
“Odie and I are off to get better acquainted.” Jenna takes his hand possessively, glowering at Neve. “But I’ll definitely catch you for dinner.”
They wander off together, but not before Odie has glanced back at Neve. Okeydokey. Not awkward or anything.
“I don’t think your friend likes me,” Neve says, in a nonplussed manner.
“She’s a little preoccupied right now.” I fight the smirk threatening my lips.
Neve’s brow puckers slightly. “Ah. I understand. She likes him, but he likes me. That annoys her.” Neve slurps from her drink, a brooding look on her face.
She may well be right, but how the hell would I know? And how does she? All because of a few sly looks her way? My lack of experience with boys is obvious in the extreme. Maybe I should rectify that in Thalassic City. Have some fun with the hottie like Jenna suggested. I shock myself with the thought. I take another sip of my delicious coffee.
“Although he likes me more, do you think he’s still going to have sex with her?” Neve asks.
I spit my coffee all over the table, making a huge spectacle of myself. Not that Neve cares. She’s staring into space as she idly hands me another paper towel.
“Neve!” I shriek, when I’ve regained my composure.
She looks at me with a puzzled frown. “What? I’m just wondering if it’s worth my while pursuing him.”
Perhaps if we traded half my reticence for half Neve’s bluntness, then we’d both end up more rounded. I disguise my laugh as a cough.
Leaning forward on her elbows, Neve stares into my eyes. “Do you want to be my friend?”
It’s as if we’ve regressed in time and I’m five years old again. Except, back then, no one wanted to be friends with the geeky girl with the silvery hair and unnerving pale gray eyes. A surge of pent-up emotion threatens to unravel me, and I work hard to force the bitter memory from my mind.
As I look at Neve’s sweet pleading face, my heart melts and I nod.
Although I think I need to have words with Jenna. I’m far from the “quirkiest” person here.
***
Odie and Jenna spend most of dinnertime sharing googly eyes. Neve watches them curiously, but I don’t detect any malice or jealousy. When Jenna leans in and molds her lips to Odie’s, a spark of envy streaks through me. A picture of the hottie springs to mind, and suddenly I’m imagining our faces in place of Odie’s and Jenna’s faces, and I’m growing all hot and bothered in my seat.
“Hey,” I say, twisting to face Neve, “do you want to get out of here?” All of a sudden, I’ve an urgent need to remove myself from the rampant hormones tempering the air.
Odie and Jenna are still lip-locked and it doesn’t look like they’ll be coming up for air anytime soon.
Neve follows me out to the library room, and we settle down to read. The next few hours pass in companionable silence.
A loud yawn escapes me as my lack of sleep catches up to me. Words blur in front of my eyes, and I know that’s my cue to call it a night. “I can’t keep my eyes open. I need my bed.”
“You do look wrecked. I think I’ll stay and read some more. Goodnight, Sadie. I hope you sleep well.” Hopping up, she pulls me into a hug and I stiffen, unaccustomed to the casual gesture.
When I walk into the dorm, Jenna is lying in her bed with a dreamy look on her face. She barely registers my arrival. Fanning my hand in front of her face, I snap my fingers twice. “Earth to Jenna. You in there?”
She sighs contentedly. “Damn you, Sadie. I was having the best daydream.” Propping up on one elbow, she faces me.
“Let me guess,” I tease. “Did Odie feature in this daydream of yours?”
“In all his gorgeous nakedness.”
“Jesus!” I shriek in her ear. “TMI, Jenna.”
“What?” She sits upright. “I was only imagining, Sadie. It’s not like I’ve already seen him naked or anything. I’m not a slut.” Her lips thin narrowly. Unwittingly, I’ve offended her.
“I didn’t mean that, Jen. But you did say the other day that you were all about the fun and I didn’t miss the way you two were going at it earlier.”
“You little minx,” she teases. “I think someone’s jealous.”
“Damn right,” I admit. “I’ve never been kissed like that before.”
“I bet the hottie would kiss like that and some.” She winks at me.
I suspect she’s right. If he can transform my brain and body to mush just by looking at me—through thirty feet of water, I might add—I can only imagine what his touch would do.
Ah, crap. I’ve tried hard to ditch him from my mind today, and now he is all I can think about. I suppose I should tell Jenna what transpired between us last night, but I don’t want to admit to anything because in all honesty it was pretty pathetic and more than a little weird. So, I do the usual. I say nothing and keep a firm lid on my thoughts and emotions.
I fall asleep the second my head hits the pillow.
I’m fast asleep when I suddenly bolt upright in the bed, my brain jolted awake. I glance at my watch through a blurry haze. It’s four a.m. I force my eyes shut and pray for sleep, but it’s futile.
On autopilot, I get up and head to the library.
The second my foot hits the floor, my eyes dart to the figure through the glass. He’s here again, my befuddled brain acknowledges. Walking quietly toward the window, I sink onto the cushion, my nose pressed firmly against the glass. Across the water, he mirrors my position.
This time I don’t even have the illusion of reading to mask my ogling. I am here purely to stare at the boy who has captured my mind and all sense of reason along with it. An inner war wages an ugly battle inside me as I attempt to snap out of it. But it’s no good. As much as I accept that this is peculiar beyond all explanation, I can’t drag myself away. We continue to stare at one another as I plead with myself to summon some self-respect from somewhere.
Then he ups the stakes.
I stare at the large, white piece of paper pressed up against the glass. “I’M LOGAN. WHAT’S YOUR NAME?”
Logan. I test his name out in my head and I like it. A lot.
I jump up and walk to the large cabinet at the back of the room. Helping myself to some paper and pens, I start scribbling furiously. “I’M SADIE.” I hold the page tight to the window.
Logan hunches over and then lands another page on the glass. “WHAT’S YOUR D-PAD ADDRESS?”
Cripes. He wants my digipad address so he can message me. Massive butterflies swamp my belly, and I’m giddy to the point of nausea. I write my addres
s down and request his, which he duly complies with.
Logan holds another piece of paper to the glass. “I’LL MESSAGE YOU TOMORROW.”
I’m already sick with nerves and excitement. Which is totally idiotic, considering I’ll only be conversing with him digitally, not actually speaking to him in person. But it’s enough to push my inexperienced body into sensory overdrive.
A cavernous ache builds in the pit of my stomach as the craving to touch him, to hold him, takes me prisoner. I don’t understand these feelings or where they’re originating from, but I’m powerless to halt my body’s natural reaction.
You need to sleep. The thought enters my mind and I yawn. Pulling myself up on tired legs, I glance at Logan one final time. He smiles and waves, and I do the same without thinking about it.
***
Jenna eyeballs me as if I’m deranged the next morning at breakfast. Honestly, I can’t blame her. Even I think I’m acting weird. I can’t stop fidgeting in my chair, and I haven’t managed to force more than two spoonsful of cereal into my mouth.
“What’s with you?”
It’s high time I shared some of this with her. She is most generous in filling me in on her rapidly developing love life, and I’m already keeping secrets. I promised myself I wouldn’t retreat into a shell here, and I haven’t been sticking to that promise.
Besides, she’s already acknowledged that I’m quirky, so I don’t think my odd behavior will bother her in the least. “I have stuff to tell you,” I whisper. “About the hottie.”
A roguish glint appears in her eye, and she claps her hands in glee. “I’ll be back in a few,” she tells Odie, planting one on him.
I’m quite certain that’s largely for Neve’s benefit. The ice-cold glare she sends Neve’s direction is most definitely meant for her.
“You could be nicer to her,” I suggest as we walk. “She isn’t going to take him from you.”
“The jury’s out on that one.” She grits her teeth as she drags me into the dorm. “Forget about her. Deets, now.” Her hands fly to her hips, as she demands answers with her penetrating stare. So, I fill her in.
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