Drawing my hand to his lips, he plants a lingering kiss on my skin. His eyes look glassy too. “Beautifully stated. That’s it. That’s the essence of the Eterno connection. Our forefathers believed in it as their most sacred rule. No one was permitted to marry unless they found their Eterno intended. Once the Saven started assuming different life forms, things began to change. Our people were scattered, and fewer and fewer Eterno connections were being made. There was discontent among those forced to live out their existence in solitude, and calls for greater freedom in marriage ultimately gave rise to a new decree. Our people were free to marry whom they chose though the Elders continued to revere the Eterno connection and widely encourage it. As our race developed and our reach expanded, less and less Eterno connections were made until eventually it died out.”
He splays his fingers wide on my cheek. “I think that’s part of the issue with the demise of our culture and the lack of conscience. If more of our people were Eterno connected, I think there’d be more compassion and less killing.” He looks reflective.
Taking my hands, he links our fingers. “None of our people have Eterno connected for over two hundred years.” I don’t hide my surprise. “As a boy, I used to dream that it happened to me. But that’s all it was, a dream. Until I met you.”
“When did you first realize?” I rub tiny circles across the back of his hand.
“I felt a pull toward you from the minute I laid eyes on you, but it was only when we got to Thalassic City that I sensed the Eterno connection. I couldn’t comprehend it.”
“Because I’m a human?”
“There’s that, yes,” he says, grinning, “And also because it’s been so long since any of our people Eterno connected. Most people don’t believe it exists anymore.”
“But you stayed away from me.”
“I had to. I was under huge pressure to choose a preferred earthen, and when Dante noticed my interest in you, he pressed the point with our father. Naturally, I didn’t want to choose you for that purpose—for obvious reasons—but I also didn’t want to tell them the truth—that I’d felt the Eterno connection.”
“Why not? Wouldn’t that have solved the Dante issue?” I’m confused.
“Initially, it was because I wanted to be sure that it was what I felt it to be.”
I open my mouth but he holds up a hand.
“I tried reaching out to your mind on numerous occasions but nothing happened. I began to doubt myself, but then we started spending more time together and I started to feel you, to sense you, even when we weren’t together. When we kissed that first time, I knew then without any doubt that you were mine as I am yours.”
I have a hard time not flinging myself into his arms.
“My other concern is how people on our planet will perceive it. Dante has amassed a considerable following, and he is a master manipulator. I knew if he knew that, he’d use it to his advantage. I tried to keep away from you so that he wouldn’t notice any bond between us. But he must have sensed something because he wouldn’t leave you alone, and that gravely concerned me. I was always intending to tell my father, but I’d hoped to have more time to work out a strategy for garnering support before Dante could try to use the knowledge to destroy me. My hand was forced the other night. It was the only way to save you. You would have been killed otherwise.”
I clinch a hand over my mouth as the nature of the exact danger I was in becomes crystal clear.
“No one is going to hurt you, Sadie. They’ll have to get through me.” His voice is rigidly confident and I relax a smidgeon.
“So what now?”
“Ideally we should accelerate the Eterno connection. I can worry about my ascension after that.”
“Ideally?”
Air puffs out of his mouth, and in that one gesture, I sense the weight of the burden he carries. Scooting into his lap, I wrap my arms around him. He kisses the top of my head. “The fact you are human complicates things.”
“I’m sure, but why exactly?”
“On the one hand, it removes the need for a preferred earthen because where there is an Eterno connection, both parties share the inherent traits of the other.”
“What? So, like, we actually do become one? I’m not sure I like the sound of that.” Panic and fear almost choke me at the prospect of losing my own identity. I’m not signing up for that.
“It’s not that you lose anything of yourself, it’s more that you gain additional traits from me. We will remain our own person, enhanced by the qualities of the other,” he says, as if he could read my mind. I laugh inwardly. That actually is pretty much the point.
“Meaning you will inherit my morality.”
“Exactly. I already feel myself changing around you.”
While I haven’t had adequate time to reflect on all this, when it’s a matter of life and death, there’s no time for contemplation. “So, let’s do it now.”
He crushes me to him and I hear—no, I feel—his heart beating in sync with mine. “I’d connect with you in a heartbeat but there’s a further complication.”
“Which is?” I prompt.
“There is a set of commandments that govern the Eterno connection. You heard reference to that the other night.”
I nod.
“This is going to seem weird because it’s the opposite of human religious belief. We have to sleep together before our commitment ceremony. When we step up to the altar, it has to be as one. The ceremony identifies and confirms that oneness, blesses it, and cements it for eternity.”
A hot flush steals over my cheeks. Personally speaking, I have no issue with that condition. My blush spreads as I reflect on how much I’ve changed in a few short months.
“You remember what I told you about the conscience transfer?”
“I remember.” A small trickle of unease starts to wind its way through my veins.
“No Saven has ever Eterno connected with anyone outside our race, so I can’t be sure it’ll work exactly the same way. If it doesn’t, then the opposite could happen. I couldn’t live with myself if I did that to you.”
My insides curdle. “So what you’re saying—to coin a well-known human phrase—is that we’re caught between a rock and a hard place?”
“Yes. In order to fully protect you, we have to seal our Eterno connection by sleeping together. But in doing that, I may take away the thing that is most precious to you in the world. Your conscience, your will, your freedom.”
CHAPTER 27
“Yeah. That does complicate things.” I sound impressively calm despite the dangerous nature of our predicament. I’m not sure what it says about me, but all I’m focusing on right now is the fact that Logan and I are apparently unable to share intimacy on that level. It gravely upsets me. Way to assign priorities, I mentally criticize myself.
“Hey.” He touches my face. “We’ll figure out a solution.”
“Is it bad that all I can think about is the fact that we can’t do that?” My cheeks flush again.
“Not at all. Obviously, protecting your life is most important, but don’t think I haven’t thought the same thing. I might be an alien but I’m still a boy, with all the same feels. Trust me when I say that’s crossed my mind on more than one occasion. Which is why we’ll find a way to overcome it because I can scarcely keep my hands off you as it is. We’ll have to exercise some restraint going forward. The closer we get, the harder it’ll be to avoid taking that next step.” His face scrunches up.
“Oh, Logan, I’m so sorry. If I’d let you explain all this to me yesterday, then I wouldn’t have lost my temper with Dante.”
“Look, he was always going to be a problem. But now you’ve made it a challenge. He’s hell-bent on destroying me, and he won’t think twice about using you to force my hand. I had some comfort the other night in knowing that my father would help keep him in line, but Dante will let no one or nothing stop him now. I don’t want to scare you, Sadie, but you need to understand how much danger you’re in
.”
“I get it, honestly, I do.” I shiver involuntarily.
“Excepting times where I need to meet my father or attend meetings, I will be your constant shadow. When I’m not around, Haydn will be with you. I know you like to be independent, but you can’t argue with me on this.” His look says he will broker no compromise.
“I won’t,” I promise. Besides, the idea of being with Logan twenty-four-seven is hugely appealing. I can’t believe I ever harbored any doubts about him. No one who has gone to such lengths—such extremes—to protect and care for me, is a threat. I’m so glad I didn’t say anything to Vin that could be construed as a betrayal.
“What about after we leave here? I haven’t had a chance to tell you this yet, but it looks like I’ve secured a new position in political administration, working for the government. And you’ll be … where will you be?”
“You have? That’s fantastic. I’m proud of you.” He presses his forehead to mine and I squeeze him tight, overwhelmed with the extent of the emotion I feel. “Wow, hard to breathe here.” I relax my hold on him slightly. “Don’t worry about anything else for the moment. We’ll figure it out. However, I suspect things are going to come to a head quicker than we’d like.”
“What do you mean?” I sit up straighter in his lap.
“This was the other thing I needed to tell you. I’ve been at several meetings in the last couple of days, and it looks like we’re about to be ‘outed.’” My eyes pop wide. “There’s an underground rebel organization opposed to your government’s rule. Apparently, they’ve been trying to undermine the authorities for years. Somehow, they discovered the alliance with the Saven, and they’re planning on broadcasting this news to the nation tomorrow night. As a counter measure, the government is screening a live broadcast tomorrow evening to announce it first.”
I jump in his arms. “No way!” I can only imagine the response. “It will cause widespread panic!”
“Unfortunately, that’s why they’ve decided to tell the truth about ‘The Experimento.’ We are all about to be ‘outed’ on a global scale.”
“Get out! Seriously? They are going to tell the public that aliens and humans have been cohabiting in Thalassic City for months now?”
“Yep.” He rubs his hand across my lower back, sending a river of tingles gushing across my skin. “It’s the only way to try and calm the populace.”
“I’m not so sure that it won’t have the opposite effect.” I’m imagining my mother’s reaction when she finds out aliens are among us. She will totally and utterly flip out except I doubt that concern will extend to me. I’d like to say Mom is one of a kind, but truth be told, she is representative of a lot of folk in our Sector. They won’t handle this news well. This can’t be good.
“Well, it’s the best we’ve got.” Logan raises his palms in defeat.
“The world really has gone to hell,” I mumble. “You know, if you’d told me four months ago that all of this was going to transpire, I would’ve said you were on a one-way ticket to the nuthouse. Because this is crazy stuff! Insanity!”
“So why do you sound so exhilarated?” His question is laced with humor.
My God, he’s right. “I do? Don’t I?”
He gives me a knowing look. I’m silent for a few minutes while I ponder his question, and I love that he lets me be. That’s the thing with Logan—maybe it’s the Eterno connection, or shared understanding, or he’s observed me more closely than I realized these last few months, but whatever it is—he gets me. His soul speaks to mine on an innate spiritual level, and he knows when to speak up and when to stay quiet. He probably even knows what I’m going to say before I say it.
“Because things are changing. I can feel it in my bones. And if it ends badly for me, at least I’ve experienced what it feels like to be a part of change on such a massive scale, to witness the world transform in front of my eyes. You can’t bottle that.” My eyes blaze with fiery passion.
“I feel it too. And more than that. Together, you and I can make a difference. It’s more than wishful thinking. It’s something that resonates deep inside.”
***
We converse through our minds as we make our way back to my apartment. Logan reiterates what Neve and Haydn said earlier: That he isn’t happy with his father’s strategy and he believes there is another more peaceful way for his people to develop a conscience. With each word and every step, I feel lighter and brighter and infused with hope that together, we can put a stop to this.
The only blip on the horizon is my new rebel connection. I’m scared of mentioning it to Logan because I know he’ll consider it a threat to my safety, and that he won’t want me involved. Despite my own reservations, I can’t do a U-turn. I’ve made a commitment, and I intend to stick with it. Besides, we’ll need all the allies we can get if we’re to halt the government’s plans.
***
We’re both tucked up in my bed, and I still can’t switch off my mind. I don’t like keeping secrets from Logan—not when he’s finally opening up to me—but I also don’t want to say anything that might give rise to discord between us. Memories of my father also flit through my mind, and I’m experiencing so many differing emotions at his passing. At some point, I’m going to have to figure out exactly how I feel about it.
After hours of deep inner analysis, I decide to chat to Jarod in the morning before mentioning anything to Logan. He has enough to contend with as it is, and I know he already worries too much about me. I don’t want to add to that unnecessarily.
The rhythm of Logan’s steady breathing and his ever-loving arms wrapped snugly around my waist ease me into slumber.
Hands hold me down, pressing rigidly into my flesh. I thrash about futilely. Stabs of pain prick my arms and a strange sensation surges through my body. I scream.
“Sadie, wake up!” Logan shakes me awake and my scream fades out. My throat is coarse and dry. Disorientation is a new mask I wear. Confused, I stare at him questioningly. “You were having a nightmare,” he explains. “You were screaming over and over. Do you remember what it was about?”
I search my mind but it’s a blurry mess. “All I remember is the sensation of fear and loss of control.” My voice is croaky and Logan hands me a glass of water. Gratefully, I chug it back. I rub my tired eyes. “I used to get similar nightmares when I was a kid. It hasn’t happened in years.” I yawn.
“You’re tired. Go back to sleep.” He pulls me into his arms and I conk out immediately.
Waking beside him the next morning is a euphoric moment. Visions of a hundred moments like this—a thousand—bring a huge smile to my face. “I could get used to this.” I stretch my arms up over my head.
“What?” He gives me a funny look.
“Waking up beside you.”
“You better get used to it,” he says, reaching out and mussing my hair. “Because I’m going nowhere.”
His words warm all the frozen parts of me. The strongest urge to press myself to him accosts me. He bites down on his lip as his eyes fixate on my mouth. Expelling a lungful of air, he jumps up with urgency. “Yeah, I’m feeling it too. But restraint, remember? I’ll make breakfast while you shower.” He strides quickly from the room and I flop back down on the bed.
Wowzers. Keeping our distance is beginning to feel like an uphill battle we may not win.
***
Logan travels to the campus with me today. Our hands stay entwined the entire time. When he breaks the contact to hand me over to Haydn at the entrance to our first class, I feel immediately bereft. After kissing me briefly, he is gone, taking half of me with him.
Haydn looks like he’s aged overnight and there’s a haunted look in his eyes. “How is she?” Panic and fear taunt me.
“Not good.”
“Is it safe to leave her alone with him?”
“Don’t worry. Neve is with her. We won’t leave her alone with Dante.” He pats my arm reassuringly though it’s of zero comfort.
***
>
I skip rehearsal this evening, crying off with a fake headache. I need to catch up with Jarod, and I want to call in on Jenna. Considering what I need to discuss with Jarod, dodging my bodyguard has become my number one concern.
“I’m going to call into Jarod,” I announce as we step into the elevator, and I press the button for his floor. “You look exhausted. Why don’t you take a nap and I’ll comm you when I’m done.” I plaster an angelic look on my face.
“As much as that’s tempting, I’m sticking with you. Those were my orders.” Haydn moves aside to let me exit first.
One look at his determined face tells me there’s no swaying him. Time to invoke Plan B. “Fair enough but you’ll have to wait outside. Jarod is an inquisitive guy, and if you insist on coming in with me, he’ll be suspicious.”
Haydn ponders my statement. “Agreed. I’ll wait in the corridor.”
I try to hide my relief. While I don’t like deceiving him, it’s better this way. If I’m to convince Jarod of a rebel-alien alliance, I need to be alone to do it.
Jarod’s wide smile falters when he spies Haydn behind me. “Come in.” He holds the door open.
“I won’t be too long,” I tell Haydn.
Jarod closes the door and walks to the couch. “What gives with the freak?”
I choose to ignore his insult. “Logan is concerned that Dante has it in for me, so when he isn’t around Haydn is my ‘protector.’” I make little air quotes with my fingers. Neither Jarod nor the rebels appear to know Logan and Dante are alien royalty, and I intend to keep their confidence, for now anyway. I’d rather make a joke of it than confirm Haydn is the Saven crown prince’s bodyguard.
“So you’re reeling Logan in then? Great.” He says this with a smug smile that grates on my nerves.
“You spoke with Vin?”
“Yeah. I’m delighted you’ve decided to join the cause. You’re doing the right thing.”
Saven Deception Page 34