I think I fell totally in love with Jesse Mayes for a split second as he stood there, completely unimpressed, looked at that hand, and made no move whatsoever to shake it.
“Katherine and I were just reminiscing about some good old times.” Undaunted, Josh slipped his hand into his pocket. “And discussing some plans for the near future.”
I heard a door open and glanced back. Brody stepped out of the men’s room behind us. He saw us, saw Jesse, and stopped.
Which meant Josh was now flanked by two men who could very easily pound the shit out of him if they wanted to. At the moment, I didn’t much mind if they did.
“Not too near, I hope,” Jesse said, looking at me again. “Since Katie’s coming on tour with me as of tomorrow.”
Josh turned, slowly, to face me. He tried to look all nonchalant but I saw the tension in his neck, the hardening of his jaw as he ground his teeth. “On tour? What the fuck for?”
“Oh, you know…” I walked over to Jesse. He reached for my hand and I let him take it, let him lace his fingers through mine. “Keeping my man company on the road.” I looked up into Jesse’s dark eyes, and he gave me the slightest grin in return, a look of deep approval on his face. “Nice to see you again, Josh,” I said pleasantly. Then I turned away, my heart thudding.
I fucking hated confrontations.
Though as far as uncomfortable run-ins with exes went, this one probably went down in the record books for awesome endings… as I walked away hand-in-hand with a rock star.
CHAPTER TEN
* * *
Katie
“I know it’s barely past midnight and this is all very Cinderella of me…” I held up my shoes, which I’d taken off like an hour ago, in emphasis. “But I’m not feeling so hot. I think I need to crash.”
We were sitting on one of the couches in the VIP room between Brody and Maggie, and Jesse had his arm draped around me. The champagne was keeping me pretty sparkly, but I was definitely wilting at the edges. I’d taken pretty much all the photo ops and handshakes and smiling I could for one night. But really, I was feeling kind of sick to my stomach from the post-Josh adrenalin dump.
Jesse smoothed my hair away from my eye as his gaze searched my face; I felt his pulse beating against me in his fingertips, hot and slow. My eyes met his, and I felt guilty. I was crazy to run away from him, right? He was beautiful, and he’d been a perfect gentleman so far. But despite my efforts to tune him out, I kept catching glimpses of Josh watching me from across the room. I had to get the fuck out of here.
“Actually, it’s past one,” Jesse said. “I’ve got an after party to hit, though. You should come.”
True. I should’ve gone with him. If Devi hadn’t left with some guy a while ago, after I’d sworn up and down that I was fine without her running interference, she’d tell me that right now. But I was spent. Emotionally tapped out over the run-in with my ex and the barrage of ugly feelings unearthed by his smirking face. I wasn’t proud of it, but there it was. I kinda just wanted to go bury my head somewhere and feel shitty, but I wasn’t about to tell Jesse that.
Instead, I gave him what I hoped was my prettiest, most apologetic smile and said, “I’m so sorry it didn’t work out. I can pay you back for the hotel room and everything—”
“Katie.” He dug in his pocket, took my hand and pressed a hotel room key card into it. “You were amazing tonight.”
I shook my head in protest. “Really. I can just get a cab. It’s no problem.”
“The hotel’s a few blocks away,” he said, gently but firmly. “You’re exhausted, sweetheart.”
“I should probably just head home…” I knew I sounded unsure. Tempted.
I couldn’t help it if I really, really liked it when he called me sweetheart.
He leaned in closer, his lips brushing my ear as he said, “You know, Katie, my girlfriend would probably stay, and let me buy her breakfast in the morning.”
Also true.
I blinked up at him, trying to come up with a rational argument, but the idea of a luxury hotel room for the night was alluring. Max was at my sister’s for the night anyway, so it’s not like I had to rush home to my crappy apartment to feed my dog.
I tucked the key card into my purse. “Okay.”
“Go get some rest,” he said, and kissed me on the cheek. “Flynn will walk you over.”
* * *
I made it to the glitzy bar in the hotel just in time for last call. It seemed like as good a place as any to bury my head for a while.
I’d considered going right up to my room and passing out. Maybe taking a hot bath first to soak the more shitty aspects of the night off my skin. But as Flynn walked me over to the hotel and the night’s music rang in my skull, it was impossible to get Jesse out of my head. His songs. His voice. The way he looked up on that stage. The way everything else just seemed to melt away when he sang, like he was singing right to me.
The feel of his warm, guitar-string-calloused hand in mine.
And Josh, sizing him up.
That arrogant asshole. Only he could do something so tasteless. Turning up out of nowhere, injecting himself back into my life and trying to ruin this for me.
But then I did something even more tasteless. I lied right to Jesse’s face.
I said I was going on tour with him, right there in front of Josh, and Brody.
The buzz from the bubbly I’d drank at the party was starting to wear off, and I wasn’t ready for it. Somehow I managed to convince Flynn to leave me at the elevator, and when he was gone, I made a beeline for the hotel bar. As I walked in, I just hoped my sexy red dress was dressy enough. The place was dripping with chandeliers. I’d only been in a more opulent bar once; the one Josh’s dad had booked for our wedding reception.
The wedding reception that never happened.
I went straight to the bar and shrugged off my lucky leather jacket. There were a couple of men in suits at the far end, but the room was emptying out. Wait staff were clearing tables and flirting with lingering customers. Some crazy-sexy slow song was playing and it made me want to go straight back to that party and slither into Jesse Mayes’ lap.
Maybe I should just fuck him and get it over with. It couldn’t possibly make my life any worse.
“What can I get you, hon?” The female bartender came over. “Last call—you’ve got about twenty minutes.”
“Southern Comfort and amaretto on the rocks, please. Lots of cherries. Make it a double. Actually, since it’s last call, make it two doubles. And two for him.” I gestured at the empty bar stool next to me as if I was expecting a date any second. Drinking eight shots of liquor myself in the next twenty minutes probably wasn’t the best idea, but at least it would help erase this lingering awful taste Josh, Jr. had left in my mouth. And not just with his tongue.
The bartender went to make my drinks. I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirrored wall behind the liquor-lined shelves; at least I didn’t look like the mess I felt. I caught the eye of one of the suits at the far end of the bar. His gaze lingered, but I looked away.
The bartender returned, setting the drinks on the bar on a couple of cocktail napkins—two in front of me, and two in front of my non-existent date. “Thanks.” I started digging my wallet out of my purse.
“No need, hon,” the bartender said. “The gentleman at the end of the bar took care of it.”
I glanced over. The two guys in the suits were looking at me. The younger one, about thirty or so, handsome, maybe a little drunk, raised his glass.
I turned back to the bartender. “Thanks.”
“Cheers.”
She walked away and I picked up my first drink, considering. Maybe it was rude not to thank the stranger who’d paid for my drinks, but I really didn’t want him coming over. I sipped at it, letting the sweet tang of the liqueurs linger on my tongue, the warmth flooding my chest. I closed my eyes and instantly saw him, burned into the black: Jesse, up on stage, rimmed in multi-colored lights.
&n
bsp; “Feel like company?”
I opened my eyes but didn’t turn around. I could see him in the mirror, the guy from the end of the bar, standing behind me with a drink in hand.
“I’m here with my boyfriend,” I managed, my tongue finding the words before my brain caught up. “But thanks for the drinks. You really didn’t have to.”
“My pleasure. Having a rough night?”
Was it that obvious?
“Nothing my boyfriend can’t fix.” I didn’t feel up to faking niceties. I didn’t want to owe him anything just because he’d bought me a drink. Or four drinks.
“I don’t see him here.”
But suddenly I did. Over my shoulder in the mirror, approaching from the lobby, his long-legged stride eating the distance between us.
“Jesse…!” I spun around, lost my balance and tumbled off my barstool. Jesse closed the distance, his hand on my arm faster than I could recover, faster than the suit could react.
“Hey, sweetheart,” he said, guiding me back onto my stool. “Miss me?” His mouth quirked in a faint smile. Then he glanced aside at the hovering stranger.
“Always,” I said, doing my best impression of the smitten girlfriend. It wasn’t hard. Pathetic thing was, I had missed him. It had barely been half an hour since he’d kissed me goodbye.
The suit eyed him, then glanced at me. Clearly he was outmatched here, no matter if he knew who Jesse Mayes was or not. He lifted his drink and shrugged. “You two have a good night, huh?” He wandered back to his end of the bar, throwing a lingering look my way.
Jesse watched the man go. He’d changed into a slouchy gray knit hat that covered most of his hair, a gray cashmere sweater and jeans. Moments ago, I wouldn’t have believed he could look any better than he did in those low-slung black leather pants. But he looked so good right now, I felt the strongest pull to sink into his arms, let him wrap me in cashmere and his warmth.
Which was definitely the liquor at work.
I looked away. And there was Jude in the mirror, standing just inside the bar, leaning on a tall table, looking slightly pissed off. Hopefully not at me. Or Flynn.
Jesse slid onto the stool next to me, eying the untouched drinks on the napkin before him. The soft sleeve of his sweater brushed my arm, setting off sparks on my skin.
“Expecting someone?” he asked in that low, sexy voice, now a little rough from singing his heart out.
I took a fortifying sip of my drink and summoned my most casual tone. “Just thirsty.”
“Uh-huh.”
“You can drink them, though.”
“I will.” He plucked the plastic sword loaded with cherries off the rim of one of the glasses and set it aside, then raised an eyebrow at me. His dark eyes never left mine as he took up the drink and sipped. His lips quirked a bit at the taste.
“So what’s this?” I reached to finger the wool of his hat and the curl of soft, dark hair poking out beneath. “Disguise?”
“Something like that. Fool you?”
“Nope. You’ve still got that face, you know…” I trailed off, running out of words as his eyes seemed to darken a shade in the flickering candlelight. Which was when I realized my fingers were still touching his hair.
I dropped my hand.
“You didn’t know who I was when we met.”
I laughed, which came out as a kind of snort, which tended to happen when I was buzzed. “But anyone with half a clue does.”
“But not you.”
“Not me. Ask Devi. I’m clueless.”
I grinned, raised my drink to toast that statement, and drank.
Jesse watched me, his dark, unreadable eyes twinkling in the candlelight. “I thought you were going to sleep.”
“I thought you were going to an after party.”
“Yeah, well. Too many people crammed into Dylan’s suite right now, and enough booze flowing that no one will notice I’m gone.”
“I doubt that.” It would take a lot more booze than one could fit in a hotel room to forget Jesse Mayes.
“And I got a little worried when you didn’t answer your phone.”
“You were gonna wake me up?”
“You looked a little rough when you left the party. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
His gaze left me as he sipped his drink. I would’ve given pretty much anything to know what that smoldering, far-off look in his eyes meant. Then those eyes returned to me, and I felt the answering heat deep in my belly, an unstoppable visceral response to that look.
The man had a pull, like an incredibly sexy magnet, and I could feel myself getting drawn in. I had no way to know if he was turning it on intentionally, or if it was just him. I tried to resist, but what I really wanted to do was give in. Toss my arms around his neck and crush my lips to his. Taste him again, that ever-present hint of cinnamon.
Stupid.
Reckless.
Not gonna happen.
“Luckily, I saw you from the lobby.” His gaze slid down over my body, briefly. “That red dress is like a beacon.” He glanced at the suits at the end of the bar.
“Well, what good is an arm ornament if she doesn’t sparkle?” I finished my first drink and set the glass aside with a small bang. I sucked the cherries off my plastic sword and cringed at my own words; God, that sounded cynical.
Jesse just sipped his drink, studying me. “Wanna talk about it?”
“About what?”
“Whatever’s eating you. If you’re going to be my girlfriend, I should know what, or who, put that look on your face.”
I finished my cherries and started into my second drink. I didn’t want to talk about it, but the liquor was obliterating my better sense. “Just someone I wasn’t keen to run into. Ever again.”
“Let me guess. Blond guy with the chip on his shoulder and too much of daddy’s money to burn.”
“That would be him.”
We drank in silence a moment. Jesse finished his first drink and set the empty glass next to mine. “What happened between you two?”
“It wasn’t so much what happened as what he did.”
Jesse’s jaw flexed as he considered that. “What did he do?”
“He left me.” I flooded my nerves with another swallow of liquor. “At the altar.”
“Damn.”
“Like, literally at the altar. I was standing up there in a white dress I couldn’t afford with everyone looking at me, and he bailed. He waited until that exact moment.” I glanced away, afraid I’d do something ridiculous like start crying if I had to look into Jesse’s eyes any longer. “I mean, he couldn’t have just told me beforehand?”
“He could have. But then maybe you wouldn’t be sitting here right now feeling bad about it. And maybe that’s not what he wanted.”
“I’m not feeling bad about that. I’m feeling bad about all the time I wasted on him before that. So many years. You know how many?”
“I don’t.”
“Five.” I looked him in the eye again, feeling loose-lipped and reckless with liquor. “You know how many times we had sex in those five years?”
Jesse’s perfect mouth quirked in the hint of a smile. “You kept count, sugar?”
“No, but it was lots. Lots of times. Lots of times that he was this close to me.” Jesse’s gorgeous face had filled my vision, and in the back of my mind I wondered where the rest of the world had gone. “Lots of times he told me he loved me,” I breathed, my gaze dropping to his lips, “and one time he even said ‘Marry me, Katie.’ He never once said to me, ‘Katie, I don’t love you. You are not the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with.’”
Jesse’s gaze dropped to my lips, and I realized how close I was to him. Leaning on the bar, our shoulders literally rubbing, we were close enough to kiss.
“I’m not defending him,” he said. He licked his lips in the same casually seductive way he’d done at the video shoot, which made me wonder if he even noticed he did it. “Just pointing out it takes courage to say a
thing like that. And a man who would leave you at the altar, babe, he doesn’t have that kind of courage.”
“Yeah.”
I turned away and took a breath. Time to get my shit together before I fell on Jesse Mayes’ dick and ended up just one of the many horny drunk chicks he’d probably fucked and forgotten. I needed a libido killer, and Josh would do just fine. Jesse was right. My ex was not a man of courage. Or integrity. Why hadn’t I just seen that sooner?
It’s not as if there weren’t any warning signs.
“It’s not all his fault, though. The truth is that he started walking out on me long before that. And I just let it happen. I never said a thing to him, either. I just kept pretending it wasn’t happening.” Maybe I was ashamed of that most of all. Not the fool he’d made of me, but the fool I’d been long before that humiliating day in his parents’ church.
“Why?”
“Because.” I forced myself to look at Jesse again, wishing he might somehow understand without me having to admit it. “Because I thought he was the king shit. I thought…”
“You thought…?”
“I thought I’d never do better than him.”
Oh, God. It sounded horrendous coming out of my mouth. Mostly because it was true.
“Let me tell you, Katie Bloom, you can do a hell of a lot better.”
I avoided Jesse’s gaze. Why did he have to go saying things like that and being all decent and cool? Why couldn’t he just be a stupid, slutty rock star who was impossible to take seriously?
Why did he have to go and become real?
“I know,” I said softly, trying not to get choked up. “I mean, I know that now.”
“Do you?”
I knew there were tears forming in my eyes because my vision was swimming. I covered it by slamming back the last of my drink. “He doesn’t,” I said. “I guess that’s the thing that still bothers me, you know? I got over the sting of his very public rejection. I got over the humiliation. I even let go of the anger I felt at him, at myself. I thought I did. I learned to live with the fact that we’d both made mistakes. But seeing him tonight… the way he looked at me…” I trailed off in search of the words. I scanned Jesse’s gorgeous face, his famous face, and for a second I saw what Josh must have seen. “At first I thought it just pissed him off when he saw me in that video because he couldn’t stand seeing me happy. But that wasn’t it. He just couldn’t stand seeing me with you.” I blinked back the tears and focused hard on those mysterious dark eyes. “He doesn’t think I’m worth it. He doesn’t think I’m good enough for all of this.” I gestured grandly and a little drunkenly at the exquisite bar. For you, I could have added, but I didn’t.
Rock Star Romance Ultimate Volume 2 Page 38