Rock Star Romance Ultimate Volume 2

by Mankin, Michelle

  “Talk. To. Me.”

  When I close my eyes, he grabs me by the ass and lifts me, walking us to the door of my apartment building. “Your mom home?”

  “No.”

  “Apartment number?”

  “No.”

  “Fine, then right here.” He pushes me back against the wall under the stairwell, pulls a condom out of his pocket, and tears it open with his teeth. “You fucked anyone else?”

  “No,” I cry. “No, I haven’t.”

  “You gonna tell me no?” he asks as he unzips his jeans and sheaths himself. “Tales, say the word no, or I am gonna give you something I know you want. I can fucking smell your desire. I can see it lighting up in Emerald City. You know who the fuck I am?”

  “Memphis,” I answer as my head drops to his shoulder while he rips my panties and pushes, not one, but two fingers inside me.

  I cry out as his fingers move and twist swiftly in and out, feeling the burn immediately.

  “No. I’m the fucking Wizard of Oz, Tales.” He rubs himself against my wet flesh, then pushes in. “The wizard controls Emerald City, you feel me?”

  When he shoves inside of me again, I immediately feel an orgasm’s tug.

  “God, yes.” I bite his shoulder as he rams himself in and out of me over and over as I tremble, shake, and contract everywhere.

  He doesn’t stop; he fucks me hard and unforgiving as he sucks on my neck and bites it harder than ever before.

  “You.” He rams into me again. “Don’t.” And again. “Get.” And again. “Two.” And again. “Hours.” And again. “Of my cock.” And Again. “Until I know.” And Again. “Why you’re doing this!” He growls right before he comes apart.

  His dick twitches inside of me as he comes. I feel each burst, absorb each thrust, take it because I want him so badly.

  As he sets me on my feet and leans in, I am shaking and breathless.

  I lean up to kiss him, but he pulls back.

  “You don’t get my mouth again, Tales. Yours is for either sucking my cock or answering my questions.” He pulls the condom off, takes my hand, and drops the used rubber into it. “Get on the damn pill. I’m sick of using these fucking things.” He pushes his thick, semi erect dick inside his black jeans and walks away.

  On shaking, post orgasm legs, still quaking inside, I walk down the hall and toss the used condom in the trash, walk up three flights of stairs, trip into my apartment, and then fall onto my bed and cry myself to sleep.

  ***

  A month later, I walk out of the dance studio and onto Broadway. If I hurry, I’ll catch the early train back to Hoboken and get home to soak my feet.

  I am exhausted. Since my return a month ago, I picked up two classes a day at Classic’s Dance Studio. Six days a week before and after, I dance with my tour crew, and we practice anywhere from five to seven hours, five, sometimes six, days a week.

  Mom and I have a two bedroom that I love. She was against it at first, because it was more than her social security check from dad’s death every month, and she felt it was indulgent. I told her a moderate indulgence was acceptable.

  Everything should be in moderation, even indulgences. Anything else is either gluttonous and will fill you until you burst or starves the soul and kills you. That’s my new way of looking at life and also the only reason I can still look in the mirror.

  When I round the corner, I see Madison. She looks like she wants to smile, like she’s ready to burst. Her long, straight, black hair is piled high on her head, and her eyes are covered with some ultra-chic sunglasses that are too big for her face but look amazing, regardless.

  I stop in front of her and give her sunshine, and then I give her rain.

  She reaches out and pulls me tight. “I am so mad at you right now, Tales. You’re breaking his heart.”

  “I just can’t be with him. I just want him to do his thing and become who he is meant to be.”

  “And what about you?” She looks around. “Is this who you are meant to be? Where you are meant to end up? Fuck, Tales, from Julliard to …”

  “Broadway.” I shrug. “I really like teaching. I’m content.” I wipe the tears from my face. “What about you?”

  “I’m not ready to go back to school. I think I’m going to take a year off, maybe do some online stuff. I just want to be with my mom right now. You know how it is.” She points to the building. “You like it here?”

  I nod because, if I tell her in words, it’ll feel more like a lie than it is.

  “Tales.” She looks dead serious. “You have to talk to him. He’s doing some really fucked up things lately.” She laughs nervously.

  “Like...?” She shakes her head. “Not drugs, right? He’s not—” I can’t even ask if he’s addicted.

  “Well, he really likes his pain pills, and he actually fell asleep during recording last month.”

  “When last month?” I wonder if it was before or after our encounter.

  She smirks and shakes her head. “The stairwell day.” I gasp. “Tales, he isn’t really quiet about the way he feels. He’s also adamant that he’s gonna wait you out.”

  “Wait me out?” He hasn’t let go. Immediately, I feel happy, but I shouldn’t. And, oh, my, goodness, he told her!

  She looks at me, not answering. After a few minutes, she sighs.

  “Look, come have dinner with me.”

  “My mom …” I start.

  “Don’t give me that shit. It’s Wednesday; she’s at a woman’s church thing, isn’t she?”

  “Madison, it really is best if we just—”

  “I know, okay? I fucking know, and I’m sorry, but shit happens, and—”

  “What do you know?”

  “About your dad. About my dad. It wasn’t a woman in his bed at that hotel, Tales. I didn’t see his face, but fuck...Do I even need to keep going? I mean, it’s really not something a girl wants to remember.”

  “You knew, and you didn’t tell me!” I yell at her. She looks stunned.

  “You didn’t tell me, either. It’s really not a fucking conversation you ever expect to have with anyone, let alone your best friend whose father is a fucking minister and apparently a bottom—” I cover her mouth with my hand and scowl.

  “Shut your face,” I hiss at her.

  She starts laughing and hugs me. “Oh, Tales. To think, we could have been step—”

  “You really have to be quiet. Imagine the scandal. Imagine what they would say about Memphis.”

  “Oh, my God, that’s why you won’t admit you’re in love with him. That’s why you’re pushing him away. Tales, that’s so gallant of you, but you’re the chick. Let the one with the dick figure that out.”

  It feels good that someone else knows, but it shouldn’t. It should feel good that it is Mads and not a random stranger, but it doesn’t. It feels awful that Memphis might have to face this, but if I open my mouth he will…He will hate me.

  “Does your mom know?”

  “Not sure. You’re the only person I’ve talked to. Does yours?”

  “No, absolutely not. I think she would die.”

  “Or join a cult,” Mads says, smiling sadly.

  “Or that.” I smile back in the exact same way.

  “Come to dinner with me?”

  I nod. “I would really, really like that.”

  “Me, too. I’ve missed you.”

  “I’ve missed you, too.” I just didn’t think I should be allowed to feel that way after keeping the secret from her, but she did the same. What a mess. What a complete and total mess.

  “I’ve missed you more than my brother has.”

  “I’ve heard from him more,” I joke

  “I don’t swing that way, so back off.” She laughs as she jumps in her little, red Beemer.

  I get in the other side and close the door. “New ride?”

  “Father is feeling guilty.”

  “Well, guilt looks good on him,” I attempt to joke.

  “Your father didn’
t,” she throws back at me, and I fall into a laughing fit. Both of us do. “Hashtag: white girl problems.”

  “Oh, wow, we’re like the Kardashians.”

  “Oh, fuck no, we aren’t! Hell to the no. But Brody Jenner … Damn, I would like to cry on that shoulder. You know, bond over a little dysfunction and then get all dysfunctional in his sound booth. He could spin a record. I could spin on him.”

  “You gotta keep it a secret for Memphis.” I state the obvious.

  “You love him, Tales.” And so does she.

  “I think I do.” That’s another lie. I know I do. Without a doubt, I know I do.

  “It wasn’t a question. You love him, Tales.”

  I shake my head. “I don’t want to. I really, really don’t want to.”

  “Why?”

  I look at her and roll my eyes. “Why would you even ask that?” He’s going to hate me when he finds out, I say to myself.

  “Because he loves you, too.”

  “Did he say that?”

  She looks over at me. “No, I did, and no one knows him like I do.”

  I nod and she hugs me.

  CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE

  * * *

  ALL WORK AND NO PLAY

  Memphis

  I sit in the sound booth at Forever Four in a fog, wondering what the fuck happened to me. Soar, Memphis, runs through my mind like a fucking freight train. How does one do that?

  “You sound good, Memphis.” X-man walks in and sits behind me. “‘Bang Bang’ is a fucking epic jam. It’s your first chart topper.”

  “We’ll see,” I say with a nod. “We all set here for the day?”

  “You’re kidding, right? You have two more songs to get nailed down.” He shakes his head. “Let me give you some advice …”

  “Not being rude, man, but I don’t fucking need any. I’ve got this.”

  “Really? What is it that you’ve got? No, don’t answer that. Let me tell you what you’ve got.” He stands up and leans against the wall. “You have one of the best voices in the industry, yet that guitar is more important to you. Your raw sex appeal that makes the girls fucking crazy, second best in the industry—”

  “Second to who?” I half-laugh, half-snarl.

  “Me,” he says as if it’s gospel.

  I can’t help laughing, and so does he.

  “You lead this crew from the front. You don’t get pissed when River gets fucked up like Finn does; you don’t get pissed when Finn doesn’t talk for days because he is so deep in his head. He is a total D-bag to everyone around, like River and Billy are. And you don’t get pissed when Billy spouts off all the knowledge in his fucking enormous head and makes everyone around him feel fucking stupid, including me.” He chuckles, shaking his head. ”You are the lead here; don’t get hung up on a set of strings.”

  “Not gonna feel natural on stage without it.”

  “Believe it or not, I didn’t snatch you up because of your ability to finger fuck the six strings. It’s the voice and your natural leadership ability.”

  “And because your wife—”

  He glares at me. “My wife what?”

  “She found me at Rockin’ Joes.”

  “She knows talent.” He grabs his package. “And she is mine forever.”

  I nod. “Forever Steel.”

  “You’re part of that, too, man, although you put your own twist on it.” He tries to look pissed, but I know the name amuses the shit out of him. “You’re family now, and that means, if you need a kick in the ass, you’ll get it.”

  “That mean I can get the ink, too?”

  He laughs and nods. “You want the ink?”

  “Every one of my tats means something to me. And with each one—”

  “You gained some sort of clarity or a moment of self-realization.”

  I nod. “Exactly.”

  He muses for a minute before nodding. “I could use some fresh ink, maybe a piercing to surprise my Irish.” He looks at his watch. “Fuck it, let’s blow off and head down to Forever Steel.”

  We walk out to where Taelyn is holding their son.

  “I’m gonna go with Memphis down to Forever Steel. He’s gonna get some ink.”

  “And you?” She smiles at him.

  “I’ll surprise you.”

  She laughs and nods. “I’ll see you soon.”

  “Prepare yourself, Irish,” I hear him whisper as he bends down and kisses her, then kisses the baby.

  “Will do.” She blushes. Fucking blushes, just like Tallia Annabelle Priest.

  I can’t believe I’ve left her alone for so damn long. Fuck, I can’t believe I haven’t gotten laid in that long.

  But I can’t. I’m now like that little chick with the golden hair; except, I’m not sampling porridge. I don’t need to know which one is just right. I already fucking found it.

  “You ready, man?”

  “Yeah.” I nod.

  When we walk into the shop, I look around. The storefront tells a story of Xavier’s family. The outside doesn’t match the inside, not one bit.

  The white walls display thin, black, framed works of art that are lit with track lighting. They are not pictures of tattoos, but art. One wall is full of black and white photos of people and places. It’s unbelievable how the artist caught stolen glances, private moments, and older buildings that no doubt tell stories of history and life.

  The next wall holds paintings that pretty much sing. Each showcases an instrument or a stage. I notice X-man wearing a fedora and playing a saxophone in one.

  “That’s you, isn’t it?”

  “Yeah, seems like a lifetime ago.” He pats my back. “Let me get Rico.”

  I look at another wall. There are white, lighted pedestals lined up against it, all holding sculptures. Nothing whimsical or cute. Whoever did this was in a dark place. I look at the dates. It’s the same year as hurricane Sandy hit the shore. I wonder if this twisted steel is from the havoc that bitch wreaked.

  There are more pictures on another wall—photos and paintings—and I recognize all the people in them. Cyrus, Tara, and their two kids; Justice, Truth, and at their feet is the ugliest dog I have ever seen; Jase, Carly, and their girls, little Bell and Kiki; Zandor and Bekah, and she is on her knees next to him; Xavier, Taelyn, and baby Patrick in front of the Red Socks stadium, him and the baby sporting Yankee’s gear, but she isn’t. Next there is Abe and Nikki; someone who looks familiar; a woman in a vineyard; and Sabato, whom I have seen around Forever Four a handful of times; and the girl, Mel, who looks at him like he’s a god. The shit kicker is he’s looking at her like that in this picture, too. Then there is Momma Joe, surrounded by all of them.

  “Right there is Forever Steel, man,” Xavier says from behind me.

  “Who’s this?” I ask, pointing to the vineyard picture.

  “My cousin Dominic and his wife, right before she started showing.”

  “Showing what?”

  “The kid growing inside of her.” He laughs. “Come on, man; he’s ready for you.”

  When I walk into the back room, Rico stands up. “You sure about this?” he jokes.

  “I’m sure.” I pull my shirt off and lie down.

  “The pain is only temporary,” Xavier says, patting my shoulder.

  “But the commitment is forever, man.” Rico winks. “You sure you want to commit to this?”

  “Yeah, I am.”

  “Just like the brothers?”

  “No,” I answer. “I’m gonna rock it my way.”

  “I knew you would, man.” Xavier laughs. “See you on the other side.”

  Xavier leaves as I roll to my stomach. “Across my shoulders. Forever faded, grey in the background. Steel bold and black.”

  “Bold and black is pretty damn close to heaven, man. Throw in some curves, and I am on it like white on rice.” Rico smirks.

  “We ain’t just talking ink, are we?” I laugh.

  “No, man, we ain’t.”

  I lie down and feel the sti
ng of the needle. I don’t go to the place in my head I’ve gone to before. No hiding from the pain. I feel it. I want to feel every damn inch of it. I embrace the pain, relish in it. I accept it, and I appreciate it.

  “I want an emerald centered below it, tinted green. Light enough so that, when I want to add to it, the addition won’t get lost.”

  He chuckles. “Whatever you want, man.”

  “I may want something else, too.”

  “I get paid by the piece, and I got all night.”

  I walk out of Forever Steel with Xavier laughing.

  “You didn’t just drink the Kool–Aid, man; you fucking did a keg stand on that bitch.”

  “Thanks for bringing me. I needed that.” I nod.

  “We all do once in a while.” I look down at his arms covered in ink. “Some of us more than others.”

  “Yeah, true, true.”

  My phone rings and his immediately follows.

  “The wife.” He holds up the phone.

  I hold up mine. “The queen.”

  “See you tomorrow.”

  “I’ll be in early,” I tell him as I walk away.

  “Sup, Mads?” I answer my phone. She wants to see me. “Yeah, I’ll be there in twenty.”

  ***

  I pull onto River Street and throw the keys to my new ride to the valet. Dad bought Mads a little, red Beemer, and she kept it. He bought me one, too, and I traded it in for an Escalade. It’s identical to the one I drove in Miami where I purposely fucked with Tales because making her squirm was second best to fucking her raw. Now I know better. There isn’t a second best to her, and no matter what the fuck is going on, I won’t try to find out if there is for a long time.

  “Keep it close. I won’t be long.”

  I walk in and bee line it for the hotel bar, but as soon as I walk in, I see her sitting there, and she sees me, too. This is no surprise to her, though; it’s not me waiting for an hour outside her apartment so I can remind her I’m still fucking breathing. This is her knocking the wind out of me, so I can’t.

  Madison turns and gives me a sad smile, and I shake my head as I walk up to her. I kiss her on the head, turning my back to Tales.